KSera Posted April 16 Share Posted April 16 57 minutes ago, Heartstrings said: That sight seems to only show open waiting lists. An open waiting list just means you can get on the list, not that they have no waiting list or have vouchers immediately availability. You can get on an open list and wait on that list for years and years. I know someone who just got on an open list that shows as open and was told the wait is around 3 years. Yes, some of them are that long. Some are much longer. Some shorter. But the first step is always getting on the waitlist and lots of places the waitlists aren’t even open, so finding open waitlists and then finding those that are the shortest is the quickest way to start. It does take a lot of leg work. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmom Posted April 17 Share Posted April 17 @Scarlett Thinking of you. praying for your family before before I go to sleep. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 17 Author Share Posted April 17 Mom SIL was informed by my MIL why Dh is coming over. MIL is fully on board with the trailer being removed from the property so in her words ‘he can’t come back’ Nephew is coming over today sometime to get what he wants out of the trailer. SIL wants to store the trailer in case he needs it again. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted April 17 Share Posted April 17 10 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Mom SIL was informed by my MIL why Dh is coming over. MIL is fully on board with the trailer being removed from the property so in her words ‘he can’t come back’ Nephew is coming over today sometime to get what he wants out of the trailer. SIL wants to store the trailer in case he needs it again. She can pay to store it and be given a list of campgrounds it could be hauled to if he needs to use it again in the future. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 17 Author Share Posted April 17 3 minutes ago, Heartstrings said: She can pay to store it and be given a list of campgrounds it could be hauled to if he needs to use it again in the future. Yep.Hopefully they can talk her out of that, but whatever. It is her money to waste on storage for a piece of junk trailer that is probably now destroyed from him using it for a year and a half. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted April 17 Share Posted April 17 Has SIL considered moving out of the family compound and into her own place, so she can offer nephew a safe landing if he needs it? That seems simpler than hanging onto a trailer just in case it’s needed later. I hope he will get some addiction help. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 17 Author Share Posted April 17 (edited) 4 hours ago, Spryte said: Has SIL considered moving out of the family compound and into her own place, so she can offer nephew a safe landing if he needs it? That seems simpler than hanging onto a trailer just in case it’s needed later. I hope he will get some addiction help. Well that has been interesting. She has been there with her mom for about 3 years. Initially she came to help with MIL after a surgery. But she never left because her bad marriage in CA finally failed. When she was first getting divorced and her son had arrived someone mentioned her getting her own place so he could live with her and she made it clear she would not want that. Fast forward 2 years…. Her health has taken a nose dive——worsened by this stress I am sure. She can’t work….At this point she can’t get her own place. It is a mess. Edited April 17 by Scarlett 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 17 Author Share Posted April 17 It will probably come as no surprise nephew did not come for his stuff today. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 19 Author Share Posted April 19 Dh is still there. Nephew apparently came and got some stuff out and his mom is busy putting stuff of his into her utility trailer……Sorry if I am repeating myself. I think she has been talked out of storing it. It really is not worth it. He rented a room for a month…..hopefully when he knows that trailer is not there for him to come back to he will keep his job and set aside enough money for rent. Dh is going to pull it to the street and try to sell it that way today. That would be the easiest way. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bolt. Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 If any of these family members still have any energy/heart/motivation to do so -- this might be the right time to layer on some kind of reasonable actions to help him successfully live in that room. Because just knowing about the consequences of losing the room might not actually help him make good choices. Actual assistance in keeping the job and/or keeping money safe might be the most effective way of making sure he doesn't end up on their doorstep in the future. (I'm sure it's mostly his own mother that could offer the most help -- but the other folks could encourage or assist the mother in choosing good strategies, or in being willing to keep trying.) Of course, if they are totally exhausted and just want to wash their hands of a difficult, unsafe, and exploitative situation -- that's totally understandable too. It's only a good strategy if people have the ability and desire to do anything for him any more. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 19 Author Share Posted April 19 56 minutes ago, bolt. said: If any of these family members still have any energy/heart/motivation to do so -- this might be the right time to layer on some kind of reasonable actions to help him successfully live in that room. Because just knowing about the consequences of losing the room might not actually help him make good choices. Actual assistance in keeping the job and/or keeping money safe might be the most effective way of making sure he doesn't end up on their doorstep in the future. (I'm sure it's mostly his own mother that could offer the most help -- but the other folks could encourage or assist the mother in choosing good strategies, or in being willing to keep trying.) Of course, if they are totally exhausted and just want to wash their hands of a difficult, unsafe, and exploitative situation -- that's totally understandable too. It's only a good strategy if people have the ability and desire to do anything for him any more. Everyone is exhausted, but mostly he listens to no one. Not even his mom. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heartstrings Posted April 19 Share Posted April 19 7 hours ago, Scarlett said: Everyone is exhausted, but mostly he listens to no one. Not even his mom. Having to watch adults make terrible decisions, over and over, is so hard, You can offer to make budgets, to teach low cost recipes, to physically hold the money for them each week so they don’t spend it, but you can’t make them do it. It’s a struggle and just the true definition of frustration. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 20 Author Share Posted April 20 My poor husband. He is there, trying to work remotely for his paid work and about to go crazy. He’s working at 6 AM and at midnight. My non-mom sister-in-law is out of her mind with rage over this entire thing. While going through the camper/trailer they have found drug paraphernalia. This was after he had been asked to come and clean it out. His mom asked him how long he was going to stay and he said oh about a year and a half. that was funny stuff right there. She laughed. I hope he comes home this weekend, but he said it may be Monday. I think the good news is that the nephew is not coming back to that property. Everyone is on board with that. And the mom knows that is the deal whether she could realistically on her own enforce that boundary. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 9 hours ago, Scarlett said: … I think the good news is that the nephew is not coming back to that property. Everyone is on board with that. And the mom knows that is the deal whether she could realistically on her own enforce that boundary. This is where her not being an owner in the community will be a benefit. The owners can act immediately for trespassing to prevent squatting. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 20 Author Share Posted April 20 1 hour ago, TechWife said: This is where her not being an owner in the community will be a benefit. The owners can act immediately for trespassing to prevent squatting. Agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 1 hour ago, TechWife said: This is where her not being an owner in the community will be a benefit. The owners can act immediately for trespassing to prevent squatting. I’m not certain that would be the case since as far as I know, still no one gave him written notice to vacate. Since he was there for so long, he had the right to be given notice and have a certain amount of time before he has to be gone. I would still make sure someone puts it in writing and gives it to him. The drugs are the one thing that might make an immediate eviction possible. I’m assuming these are illegal drugs, and illegal activity can be grounds for immediate eviction (still needs to follow the legal process for doing so). There are various sites online that walk you through: The Easiest Way to Evict a Family Member in Arkansas 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 20 Author Share Posted April 20 37 minutes ago, KSera said: I’m not certain that would be the case since as far as I know, still no one gave him written notice to vacate. Since he was there for so long, he had the right to be given notice and have a certain amount of time before he has to be gone. I would still make sure someone puts it in writing and gives it to him. The drugs are the one thing that might make an immediate eviction possible. I’m assuming these are illegal drugs, and illegal activity can be grounds for immediate eviction (still needs to follow the legal process for doing so). There are various sites online that walk you through: The Easiest Way to Evict a Family Member in Arkansas Really this doesn’t seem to be an issue. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 20 Author Share Posted April 20 Dh is cleaning out in and around the trailer and just took a load to the dump. There were a few non trash things left that he put in boxes and put into nephews mom’s utility trailer. This afternoon he is going to power wash the outside and pull it to the street with a for sale sign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 20 Author Share Posted April 20 Also he said the smell inside is just horrific. I doubt it is worth $1500. They paid $5000 but I am sure that was too much even before nephew lived in it for 18 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 2 hours ago, KSera said: I’m not certain that would be the case since as far as I know, still no one gave him written notice to vacate. Since he was there for so long, he had the right to be given notice and have a certain amount of time before he has to be gone. I would still make sure someone puts it in writing and gives it to him. The drugs are the one thing that might make an immediate eviction possible. I’m assuming these are illegal drugs, and illegal activity can be grounds for immediate eviction (still needs to follow the legal process for doing so). There are various sites online that walk you through: The Easiest Way to Evict a Family Member in Arkansas It seems if he was with it enough to launch a legal defense for squatters’ rights he wouldn’t BE in this situation. With that level of function he’d probably have a job and a place of his own. It must be a very specific subset of squatters that can take advantage of those legal protections. Once you eliminate anyone engaged in illegal activity and anyone without the executive function to organize things the number of squatters must be greatly reduced. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KSera Posted April 20 Share Posted April 20 5 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said: It seems if he was with it enough to launch a legal defense for squatters’ rights he wouldn’t BE in this situation. With that level of function he’d probably have a job and a place of his own. It must be a very specific subset of squatters that can take advantage of those legal protections. Once you eliminate anyone engaged in illegal activity and anyone without the executive function to organize things the number of squatters must be greatly reduced. I agree it sounds probably unlikely, but it’s not even a squatters rights issue at this point, it’s a landlord-tenant issue, and Scarlet had said way back some thing about the fact that he probably knew his landlord tenant rights. It will most likely work out fine, but with as strongly as they feel about it, I’d still be making sure I was following and documenting the process so that there were dates recorded of when the process started and what steps had been followed. That’s me though. If I felt strongly I wouldn’t take any chances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 20 Author Share Posted April 20 1 hour ago, KSera said: I agree it sounds probably unlikely, but it’s not even a squatters rights issue at this point, it’s a landlord-tenant issue, and Scarlet had said way back some thing about the fact that he probably knew his landlord tenant rights. It will most likely work out fine, but with as strongly as they feel about it, I’d still be making sure I was following and documenting the process so that there were dates recorded of when the process started and what steps had been followed. That’s me though. If I felt strongly I wouldn’t take any chances. Dh said nephew probably knew his legal rights. I am not sure. He is always mouthing off about his employers ( all 20 or so he has had in 2 years) are violating his rights in one way or another. But as @KungFuPanda says nephew having the ability to launch such a defense is highly unlikely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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