Help! Major learning issues.

[bethben]

I have my dd in a co-op of sorts that gives her (10th grade), biology, algebra, world comp/lit, and world history.  I have a health/nutrition class I am having her take and an outside art class.  She is highly motivated to be in these classes.  Her learning level for science and math is just not there.  She has a lot of trouble organizing all the information and has a lot of trouble with math and always has.  I feel like I am working really hard to get her through high school.  I am emotionally not doing well as she is an adopted child who has always been a very hard child to raise.  I have been told to “just get over it”, just continue to put out the effort on my part, just adjust my attitude, etc.  I am soooo burnt out, knew it before I started this year, tried to find a school situation that would help her succeed, and struck out.  I could not find a smaller school situation that wouldn’t require her to complete upper level sciences and math in order to graduate.  With her current situation, there is a little bit of leeway because it is still a homeschool co-op so next year, she can take consumer math instead of geometry for example and physiology instead of chemistry.    I’m trying to fit a creative sporadic artistic brain into an everyone goes to college school system.  
 

At the rate she is going, she may not be able to continue these classes as they will kick her out if she doesn’t make C or above in all her classes by the end of the semester.  I need to know how to forge a different path through a non traditional high school class situation.  I’m a little panicked since the only way I homeschooled my two sons was online classes in high school because I know I don’t care enough to require excellence.  They both started college classes by junior year.  With my dd, this will not be the case.  I’m perfectly fine with that academically, but I don’t want to homeschool high school and have no idea how to even go about creating “not going to college” high school credits.  Trade schools around here focus on culinary, beauty, or construction.  She is not at all interested.  
 

I feel so overwhelmed.  About ready to cry.
 

 

[KSera]

I’m sorry it’s so hard right now! Does your local school district have an alternative high school or credit recovery program? That can be an option that works for some kids. I think it’s theoretically very doable to complete high school at home in this kind of situation, but I’m sensing you’re not in a great place to be the one responsible for making that happen, so teaming up with an outside provider might be better in this case. 

[bethben]

I’m in a smaller school district.  I called the local high school who with a wink and a nod said every child who wants to graduate can graduate.  He is basically telling the state governor and board of education to take a hike on their requirements.  It’s just a large high school (smaller town that has every other smaller town without a high school send their studentS here) and that leads to other educational issues we ran into in the past when she did go to school.  I will have to see if they can offer anything other than just enroll and go to their school.  I’ve never heard of anything of this nature.

Edited October 4, 2023 by bethben

[lewelma]

Could you just study for the GED and be done with high school?

[BusyMom5]

Does she enjoy the classes?  Is it possible to take her out of only some of the classes and do those at home?  

[Storygirl]

I'm sorry. We had to pull and prod one of our kids through high school to get to graduation. It was extremely stressful. I'm not going to recount what we all went through here, but I'll just say that I can commiserate with your situation. My kid could not learn algebra and was in special education for math.

You said the vocational programs in your are are limited. Have you looked at the website of the vocational school that students in your district go to? In the past, our choices were the ones you listed. Now, the vocational schools around our area offer a wide spectrum of career-prep programs, including things like graphic design, which are more appealing for artistic types.

Has she been tested for learning disabilities by the school district?

[bethben]

She was tested a few years ago for ADHD and learning disabilities by an independent psychologist (who I felt blamed us as parents for her trauma reactions and obviously didn't understand the adopted kid brain, but anyhoo...).  She had neither.  On standardized tests, she will test college level in English subjects and test around a 5th/6th grade level in math.  So there's definitely a "something" but not enough to classify it as a learning disability.  I may just have to plow through and graduate her at 18 (which will be before her senior year) and have her really solidify her ability to live on her own (which is her goal right now).  I did give her some credits for high school in 8th grade because the program I was using for history and english was considered high school credits.  She has the reading and writing ability - not science and math.  

[lmrich]

Can you afford a tutor? Someone neutral to work with her and see what the  problem is?  

[bethben]

I figured I would need a tutor at minimum 4-5 hours a week to get stuff off my plate entirely.  I priced it out, and even I could find someone, I'm looking at $150-$250 a week.  That's not sustainable for us at this point.  I have a friend who basically has hired someone about 3-4 hours a day every day just to get her adopted daughter through high school.  I am meeting with her biology teacher next week to figure out what she is not getting.  I'm at a loss.  I've tried helping her and helping her be more succinct in her answers, but she's still not getting great grades.  

[Storygirl]

6 hours ago, bethben said:

She was tested a few years ago for ADHD and learning disabilities by an independent psychologist (who I felt blamed us as parents for her trauma reactions and obviously didn't understand the adopted kid brain, but anyhoo...).  She had neither.  On standardized tests, she will test college level in English subjects and test around a 5th/6th grade level in math.  So there's definitely a "something" but not enough to classify it as a learning disability.  I may just have to plow through and graduate her at 18 (which will be before her senior year) and have her really solidify her ability to live on her own (which is her goal right now).  I did give her some credits for high school in 8th grade because the program I was using for history and english was considered high school credits.  She has the reading and writing ability - not science and math.  

I wonder if you could glean some information about her learning issues by reexamining the psych report. Sometimes people will post scores on the LC board (you can erase later) and people with experience understanding the scores can offer some insight.

I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that if you look at her WISC scores, you will see a discrepancy that might explain her math difficulty -- higher VCI score (verbal reasoning) and lower VSI (visual spatial). I predict it's lower by 20 points or more. I would also consider whether the fluid reasoning, working memory, and processing speed scores may be having an impact. There is a learning disability called Nonverbal Learning Disability that is not in the DSM5, so some psychologists will not diagnose it or even mention it to people, but NVLD can have that split that you describe, where someone has high verbal ability but low math ability.

I would also encourage you to have her retested for free by your local public school district. NVLD is notorious for kind of hiding during the earlier academic years but becoming obvious when the student has trouble at the high school level. I encourage you to read online about NVLD to see if it rings any bells for you. People who have NVLD are also often on the autism spectrum or kissing the autism spectrum, so social skills can be an issue (my son first got a NVLD diagnosis at age 10 and didn't get his autism diagnosis until age 15). Girls are often underdiagnosed with autism. as well.

Also, girls can be hard to diagnose with ADHD. We had to try several times for a diagnosis for our daughter, because teachers did not indicate enough issues in class -- until 9th grade.

Complex kids often need multiple rounds of evaluations, sad to say. The good news is that public school testing is free, and operating at a 5th/6th grade level of math in 10th grade should qualify her for an evaluation -- they are legally required to test anyone when a LD is suspected.

 

[kbutton]

@Storygirl speaks words of wisdom.

On 10/4/2023 at 7:10 PM, bethben said:

I’m in a smaller school district.  I called the local high school who with a wink and a nod said every child who wants to graduate can graduate.  He is basically telling the state governor and board of education to take a hike on their requirements.

Depending on the state, he might care about standards but realize there are kids the standards do not serve well. In those cases, schools often do whatever it takes to help a kid graduate, such as letting a student in an IEP be exempted from certain kinds of testing. While it would be far better to actually meet their needs (let them learn to the edge of their potential) honestly, that would be a different version of watering down requirements. They just do the most practical thing for them.

[Storygirl]

Yes, in our state, for example, students must pass at least algebra 2 to graduate and also pass end of course exams in certain subject. My son's academic skills are around the middle school level, so of course he could not achieve this. But he had an IEP in public school and was exempt from some of the requirements (it was still stressful for us to get him through to graduation). Other states may have an alternate or special needs diploma. There are various things that schools can do that are sanctioned by the state governments to help struggling students with LDs.

I simultaneously believe that schools should hold students to high school-level standards for diplomas AND am extremely grateful that DS was able to get a diploma.

[Mimi50]

Hi I just saw your post. No I don’t homeschool and my son is 25 years old. He already graduated from high school. When I graduated from high school in 1991. I had dyscalculia and dysgraphia. So traditional high school classes were not something I did when it came to math and science. Does your daughter enjoy working with young children ? I always wanted to work in childcare. Basic certificate in Child Development. Doesn’t require any advanced math and science. Depending on what state you are in. They may. not have specific requirements for homeschool high school graduates. Check community colleges too they may have other certificates she can do that don’t require advanced math and science. 

[Shoeless]

For science, could she do something like Guest Hollow's Chemistry in the Kitchen? It's all trade paperbacks and has a workbook. There are videos and cooking projects if she wants to do them, but they aren't necessary.  There's no organizing of the information necessary; just read the chapter, answer the questions in the workbook for that chapter. Or not. She could just read, watch the videos, and discuss the reading with you. 

[serendipitous journey]

May I ask: are the issues chiefly with academics right now?  She is functioning well within your family, and is behaving well at school & working well, but the problem is that she is simply not able to do the science and math work? 

[bethben]

14 minutes ago, serendipitous journey said:

May I ask: are the issues chiefly with academics right now?  She is functioning well within your family, and is behaving well at school & working well, but the problem is that she is simply not able to do the science and math work? 

No.  She has issues with my husband and I also.  Trauma brain.  I am looking for outside help

[serendipitous journey]

3 minutes ago, bethben said:

No.  She has issues with my husband and I also.  Trauma brain.  I am looking for outside help

Ah.  Thank you for clarifying, and also e-hugs: this is so hard. 

ETA: I do not know anything that would be helpful for your current situation, but I will mention that if you want a four-year high school record for her, you can still label her current year as ninth.  Or allow a fifth year.  That might not be a good idea for her or for your family generally -- she may be better off moving on to independence, you are the best judge of that -- but it is possible academically, if that makes things feel less pressured. 

Edited November 2, 2023 by serendipitous journey