Doubting your homeschool plan

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

I know probably most homeschool parents doubt themselves at times. Usually I can confidently proceed with my plan in spite of the kids’ minor complaints. They usually get over it and do what I ask, and I have confidence in my decisions. But tonight I’m doubting myself and really wondering if I’m the right thing.
 

My kids are involved in a fair number of activities, all carefully chosen. Most are things they want to do, but not always. A lot of thought and research goes into the school subjects we study and the materials we will use. I’m open to change if it’s obvious that it’s needed but I also think sometimes teenagers just have to do things they don’t want to do. 
 

But sometimes it’s so hard to know if I’m doing the right thing. My oldest pushed back against almost all schoolwork. I insisted that she at least cover the basics at a basic level. But there were times I really wondered if I should just let her unschool and follow her interests, which are all artistic in nature. She insisted she had no plans of attending college. I’ve graduated her now and she works full time. Now she’s talking about college. Makes me feel better for pushing her. 
 

My second is a senior and struggles with math. So this year I decided that we’re going to back track and spend the year reviewing Algebra. She has been really unhappy about this. She knows she can’t go on but she also hates going back. I’ve wondered if I should just accept that math isn’t her strength and not worry about it this year. But she has big college plans and she’ll need to be able to do math. So we press on. She‘s had a better attitude about it this week at least. 
 

This year my DH and I decided that our three DC who are still in school will all participate in a local speech club for the fall as part of their English credit for this year. DD2 did it last year and loved it. She competed and advanced to regionals. It’s an EC for her. DS is reluctantly participating but doesn’t complain much. He’s willing to go just to see his friends another day each week. DD3 HATES it. (Between vacation and sickness she’s only attended once so far.) She is my child who is least likely to complain about things. But she cried last week while she was getting ready to go and tonight she’s crying while working on the homework. At this point a lot of the homework is working on writing her speech. She generally writes fine but we think the feedback from someone besides me will be useful. We also think a little experience standing in front of a group and speaking is useful for everyone. But she really isn’t happy about it. We told her we just want her to do it for one semester but that’s not helping. I hate seeing her so miserable and am wondering if I should let her drop out. 
 

Being a parent is hard sometimes. Being a homeschooling parent is hard sometimes. Being a parent of four teenagers is hard sometimes. That’s all. 
 

[Rosie_0801]

Suppose your dd does a semester of theatre or films herself reading speeches or something like that instead. There's more than one way to skin a cat.

[freesia]

Yes, it is hard. It’s especially hard when they are complaining, because it sucks all the fun and joy out of it for us. 
 

The speech thing in my house with your third would be anxiety related. She’s just gone once. I would probably have her see it through but consider coming along side her to help her manage her anxiety. 
 

The algebra thing is hard. Does she have the scores she needs to go to college? How about switching to consumer math and having her do 15 minutes of algebra a day with you? I wasn’t feeling my dd was super solid in algebra but she was horrified about repeating it. So we do 15 minutes a day and then geometry. 
 

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

23 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Suppose your dd does a semester of theatre or films herself reading speeches or something like that instead. There's more than one way to skin a cat.

She is actually in a musical. Rehearsals start next month and the performance is in the spring. After watching DD2 compete in speech last year, DH feels strongly that the other two try it out for one season. They don’t have to compete, just attend the classes, do the homework, and deliver the speech they prepare at the end. I don’t disagree with him exactly, but I am having some doubts about the importance of it for this particular child. 

 

24 minutes ago, freesia said:

Yes, it is hard. It’s especially hard when they are complaining, because it sucks all the fun and joy out of it for us. 
 

The speech thing in my house with your third would be anxiety related. She’s just gone once. I would probably have her see it through but consider coming along side her to help her manage her anxiety. 
 

The algebra thing is hard. Does she have the scores she needs to go to college? How about switching to consumer math and having her do 15 minutes of algebra a day with you? I wasn’t feeling my dd was super solid in algebra but she was horrified about repeating it. So we do 15 minutes a day and then geometry. 
 

I think the speech thing is anxiety related. It‘s interesting. This DD was in a musical last year and had a solo. She teaches groups of kids at karate. So it‘s not the being on stage or in front of a group that’s the problem. I think it’s the idea of sharing her own thoughts and opinions. Which is a different, but also valuable skill. I do think she’ll feel better about it after a few more weeks. The teachers are kind and reasonable. The class is small and fairly laid back. The goal is really to help each individual student move forward from where they are. 
 

DD2 has done Algebra 1 and 2 and geometry. We’ve done a little consumer math but just bits and pieces here and there. I don’t grade much, we just make corrections together, so I don’t know where she‘d score on any tests. I should have slowed her down at some point last year. She was getting lost and we weren’t reviewing enough. But she was doing the same math as DD3 and trying to keep up (these girls have VERY different interests and strengths). She was discouraged that her younger sister was having an easier time of it and quit trying. But it’s my fault too for not slowing down. So we’re reviewing starting with Algebra 1 to figure out where exactly the breakdown happened. She did better this week working hard and being willing to accept my help. We’ll see how it goes moving forward and possibly switch gears if it‘s not working. 

[Melanie32]

I did push my kids to accomplish what they needed to do to prepare them for college. However I never made them participate in extracurricular activities if they didn’t want to. I would definitely work on the algebra but have no problem dropping the speech club. Sounds like she’s already involved in other extracurricular activities so she’s not a recluse. I would talk to her about how she would like to fulfill her English credit for the year. 

[ScoutTN]

Can you do a light Geometry with her, so she feels like she’s moving ahead, while also reviewing Algebra?

I’d drop the speech if it causes that much stress, finding another way to work on her writing.

I think you are wise to insist on college prep basics. Keep those options open. Sounds like you are doing a great job overall. Hang in there!!

[cintinative]

I would use something else to work on the writing and let her drop the speech class. 

If she really needs practice speaking in front of people (even with theatre experience), you could have her memorize some poems or other people's speeches that she picks out and recite them for your family. 😃

 

[prairiewindmomma]

I have little tolerance for fussing about the essentials. My parent hat is different from my educator hat. My job is to prepare my kids for adult life and a basic high school education that meets the criteria for awarding a diploma in my state includes three years of high school level math. Our local cc requires you to be ready for Calculus 1 or you are slotted into remedial coursework. The local apprenticeships require math through algebra 2. There’s not much out there that you can do and be self sufficient (ie—pay rent, have healthcare) that lets you slide by with less. We do our kids no favors when we don’t prepare them adequately.

As to *how* we educate them, there is flexibility. One of mine did statistics rather than pre-calc due to a documented learning disability and a plan to go to trade school which allowed the substitution. Another of mine  has hated co-op activities and has taken up a sport for out of the house time instead. 
 

If I were to advise something—have them take the SAT to know where they are at, or the placement exams at their cc.

[Lecka]

Maybe she needs to be in something different than her siblings to avoid comparisons. 

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

13 hours ago, ScoutTN said:

Can you do a light Geometry with her, so she feels like she’s moving ahead, while also reviewing Algebra?

I’d drop the speech if it causes that much stress, finding another way to work on her writing.

I think you are wise to insist on college prep basics. Keep those options open. Sounds like you are doing a great job overall. Hang in there!!

We’ve already done a light Geometry (MUS). She did fine with it. She seems to be coming around to the necessity of reviewing Algebra. I think she’s been talking to friends who are either in college or making plans to go and she’s realizing that she won’t be able to get out of taking math in college. I think it’s finally sinking in that her best bet is to review as much as possible this year, fill in the holes and gaps, and be as solid as possible in what she DOES know. I’m not sure we’ll get all the way through Algebra 2 again, but we’re making good progress on Algebra 1 so far, just finding little things that she’s forgotten or never quite understood completely. 
 

I’m really considering dropping speech for DD3. I need to talk to DH about. This is something he’s insisting on. He’s usually fine with me doing whatever I want for school and doesn’t really have much of an opinion, but for some reason he feels very strongly about this. But I’m going to talk to him about letting her drop it. There’s about 10 weeks left so she might just have to push through and do it. We definitely won’t be making her do it past this semester though. 

[BusyMom5]

For the math struggles,  try ASU-Universal Learner College Algebra.   It's only $25 to Start.  If she gets s good grade, pay $400 to put on her college transcript!  If it's not so good, it just goes away.