Help Please*** Homeschool Association for Autistic 6 year old currently in ABA therapy

[StressedSCMom]

Good afternoon!  My daughter was diagnosed with autism and has been attending attending public school in a self contained classroom with an IeP.  However, due her frequent elopement, understaffing in the classroom, poor academic growth and lack of commitment from the school to provide her needs, I made the decision to place her in ABA to help with these behaviors (elopement, loss of focus and attention, help with following/understanding instruction in a classroom environment.  Which brings me to you and this post:  I needed to unenroll her from school in order to focus on ABA therapy because of the limited providers and the hours being during the school day.  Because of this, I must homeschool her as the school district rejected option 1 (providing homeschool due to medically related issues).  I’m not entirely sure what option 2 is as both it and option 3 in SC seem the same.  I’m looking for an academically centered homeschool association that accepts autistic children and has a good support system in place that helps me keep organized with, hopefully, a great curriculum to teach.  I’m not a teacher by any means and NEED this guidance to know where she should be at what point as a comparison and help to keep her as close to level with her peers as possible.  I prefer a scientifically and historically accurate education so I’ve been avoiding religious based homeschool organizations.  Although I am Christian, I don’t agree with the politically charged push into altering the education of students towards one religion or the other or eliminating/altering books, ideas, teaching revisionist history about racism, etc.  I actually prefer a more open discussion to allow them to form their own ideas with a foundation in truth through their education.  

A little background… I found that in 2020, when she was home with me and working 1 on 1, she excelled.  I informed the school that providing a shadow or allowing a therapist to work with her while in the classroom will be best for her until she understands what is expected and gets into a routine.  They refused to provide a shadow and rejected an outside person due to the law.  Her teacher for the 2019-2020 school year has remained the same.  At the time, she was the only one in the class of 8 kids with different needs. It took half the school year (2021-2022) to find an additional person for her and another 3 months into this school year to provide a 3rd but still added 4 more students. At this point, her progress and attention span had significantly dropped and I felt like I hit a wall.  She would escape frequently from the class and was kept from activities like music, art and library time.  I knew she felt like she didn’t belong due to her shy behaviors around the students and school.  She looked as if she didn’t know what to do with herself.  She needs help remaining focused constantly now which is the reason why I wanted her in therapy.  I feel like I’ve lost precious time and I don’t want her to lose anymore of her progress.  

Any suggestions on homeschool associations, curriculums, etc will be greatly appreciated!  Thank you for your time!

Stressed South Carolina Mom

[kirstenhill]

Welcome to the board! When you are looking for options specific to your state (it sounds like you need to find an "association" as a part of following your state laws?), it often works best to look for a facebook group or website that covers homeschooling issues for your state or local area.   I know in my state there are quite a number of Facebook groups that cover issues relating to finding co-ops, following the laws in our state, etc.  It's possible someone here will know about options for you, but you might find a lot more options for your state in a state-specific group given that this forum has national and even international reach.

There absolutely are so many options for curriculum - when I was first starting out I enjoyed browsing an earlier edition of this book:  https://cathyduffyreviews.com/books-by-cathy-duffy

It might give you some ideas of what direction you want to go! Of course, there are a lot of options to see browsing through this forum and reading previous threads, but it can get overwhelming quickly! 😁

Edited May 3, 2023 by kirstenhill
typo

[prairiewindmomma]

A few thoughts:

1. In order to learn, your kid has to be ready to learn. If her behaviors are so severe that she cannot pay attention to learn, she isn’t yet ready to learn. Her goal should be to become ready to learn through ABA. That would be her “school”. You can’t force progression—a kid who can’t float on her back yet in the pool isn’t ready to be on the swim team competing in the breast stroke, iykwim.

2. Most charters that provide curriculum and support are public schools where the parent provides the teaching. You are not exempt from what the state demands of the student unless she has an IEP and approved modifications. BTDT. It’s not necessarily any easier than straight up homeschooling.

3. You don’t give her age, but assuming she was in school in 2019–she is now at least in 3rd grade?  What are her actual academic abilities? Has she had psych-Ed testing? Again, you teach the kid in front of you. Even if she is 9, if she isn’t performing at grade level, she isn’t ready for grade level work. You meet her where she is at. 
 

So, to advise you on curricula: 

1. Where is she at?

2. What are her strengths and interests?

3. What are her challenges?

Edited May 3, 2023 by prairiewindmomma

[Rosie_0801]

Step one is to lower her stress levels. 

Does she not understand what is expected or is she simply too stressed to obey?

[maize]

Regarding South Carolina laws and homeschool association (cover school?) reviews, I recommend joining a local homeschool Facebook group. 

For curriculm ideas, please share your child's age and/or grade level, and her strengths and potential weaknesses. Will you be home with her all day every day? Is the ABA in your home? What are her interests? Do you have other children? Do you plan to send her back to public school and if so how soon? What kind of budget do you have available for homeschooling and potential extracurricular or enrichment activities?

I have several neurodivergent kids, I'm happy to talk about things that have worked for us, though every child and situation is different. 

Edited May 4, 2023 by maize

[PeterPan]

These are just thoughts for your consideration. 

9 hours ago, StressedSCMom said:

She needs help remaining focused constantly now which is the reason why I wanted her in therapy.

Therapy doesn't solve chemistry. Maybe what she needs is meds. 

9 hours ago, StressedSCMom said:

frequent elopement

Compliance focused ABA is a dissatisfying solution to the real problem of a lack of self-awareness, self-advocacy, and self-regulation. I have friends in SC and understand you have a dire lack of resources and funding in parts of the state, sigh. You might want to learn about Interoception to see if you can find an OT to work on that with her. Alternately, do the work yourself as it's not hard and would be a great use of your homeschooling time. Also, I would suggest observing the ABA sessions or having them in your home so you know is going on. 

9 hours ago, StressedSCMom said:

I don’t want her to lose anymore of her progress.

I'm with Rosie that what you're calling losing progress sounds more like her stress level being up. Fwiw, I'm not sure I'd be trying to do a ton of formal school on top of that. Do you NEED the homeschool association legally to homeschool in SC? What do you need to satisfy state requirements? Getting stress down and take some creativity. You might just start with something simple like https://www.proedinc.com/Products/20189/cooking-to-learn-2-integrated-reading-and-writing-activities.aspx I used one of the books of this with my ds and he LOVED it!!! You get life skills, LA, narrative language, confidence, so many good things at once. Keep it SIMPLE, kwim? Find what goes well with her and do it.

9 hours ago, StressedSCMom said:

to know where she should be at what point as a comparison and help to keep her as close to level with her peers as possible.

Two suggestions. One, your state dept of ed should have the state standards for every grade, every subject. I print the pdf for the grade my ds more or less functions at and I go through it, selecting goals to work on. Two, I use standard, public school type materials that are written to these standards. There is no need to reinvent the wheel and no need to open yourself up to scrutiny and hassles by joining and group that will have zero clue what it's like to work with your student. Evan Moor, Carson Dellosa, Scholastic, Teacher Created Resources, Teacher Created Materials, etc. all have grade leveled materials through about grades 6-7. They will have social studies even higher. I tend to like a standard grade leveled writing curriculum and you can find one easily by looking at those sites. Then you'll know you're moving forward through skills. 

I know you're stressed. Don't make this harder than it has to be. Get the stress down, do things that build relationship, and slowly weave in academics as she seems ready. If she has this much challenge, academics are not going to be her biggest issue long term. Long term you care about emotional regulation and self-awareness. THAT is what you want to win on.

https://www.kelly-mahler.com/what-is-interoception/

[Green Bean]

Memoria Press Simply Classical

https://www.memoriapress.com/curriculum/special-needs-about/

Post on the Special Needs board there, too for help or give MP a call.

[StressedSCMom]

On 5/3/2023 at 2:01 PM, kirstenhill said:

Welcome to the board! When you are looking for options specific to your state (it sounds like you need to find an "association" as a part of following your state laws?), it often works best to look for a facebook group or website that covers homeschooling issues for your state or local area.   I know in my state there are quite a number of Facebook groups that cover issues relating to finding co-ops, following the laws in our state, etc.  It's possible someone here will know about options for you, but you might find a lot more options for your state in a state-specific group given that this forum has national and even international reach.

There absolutely are so many options for curriculum - when I was first starting out I enjoyed browsing an earlier edition of this book:  https://cathyduffyreviews.com/books-by-cathy-duffy

It might give you some ideas of what direction you want to go! Of course, there are a lot of options to see browsing through this forum and reading previous threads, but it can get overwhelming quickly! 😁

Thank you!  I actually found her site through TSCHAA and the curriculum guide which is helpful for most children but my 6 year old is mostly nonverbal and her behaviors are currently too distracting for the standards.  I found the autism oasis for nonverbal autistic children and wonder if it would be a good fit?  Have you heard of them? https://www.theautismoasis.com/programs

[StressedSCMom]

On 5/3/2023 at 7:43 PM, prairiewindmomma said:

A few thoughts:

1. In order to learn, your kid has to be ready to learn. If her behaviors are so severe that she cannot pay attention to learn, she isn’t yet ready to learn. Her goal should be to become ready to learn through ABA. That would be her “school”. You can’t force progression—a kid who can’t float on her back yet in the pool isn’t ready to be on the swim team competing in the breast stroke, iykwim.

(You’ve nailed my dilemma within the self contained classroom.  Even with an IEP, it seems that having a 1to1 person is the best option to keep her seated and focused.  I’ve tried to request this through her iep but failed each time. I’ve offered myself, my ABA therapist, requested an ABA therapist for her but they hired a consultant that covers all schools.  I am frustrated and she’s lost a lot of time and academic progress. She was doing well at home with me but I had the guidance of the school teachers and therapists.  I don’t know what else to do for her to control or better her behaviors in the classroom.  We’ve tried a number of things including weighted blankets, vest, choosing items she shows interest in to teach; I’ve tried to request, closing her off with a desk top border that blocks off the rest of the class or less light but they could not provide that. So I chose ABA to help but she needs to be there from 9:00-2:00pm which is during the school day.  I was on  a long waitlist for her position. )

2. Most charters that provide curriculum and support are public schools where the parent provides the teaching. You are not exempt from what the state demands of the student unless she has an IEP and approved modifications. BTDT. It’s not necessarily any easier than straight up homeschooling.

3. You don’t give her age, but assuming she was in school in 2019–she is now at least in 3rd grade?  What are her actual academic abilities? Has she had psych-Ed testing? Again, you teach the kid in front of you. Even if she is 9, if she isn’t performing at grade level, she isn’t ready for grade level work. You meet her where she is at. 
 

(She’s 6 years old and knows her numbers up to 100, alphabet, several site words, some sentence structure and basic addition.  However, she struggles to show what she knows because she isn’t following instruction well due to either not being focused when asked, too anxious or distracted by her behaviors or not quite grasping what is being asked of her. It’s getting worse because she has to show that she knows before moving forward and this leads to boredom and frustration with reviewing the same material. )

So, to advise you on curricula: 

1. Where is she at

Academically or geographically? I’ll answer both; SC in the US is where we live.  I’m not sure since she doesn’t test well but I think PK/K with a little 1st in math and English?

2. What are her strengths and interests?

She loves numbers!  I try to center a lot of teaching around numbers.  It also seems to be her strength. She’s most interested in Super Kitties and ipad related games (endless academy, ABCMouse to a lesser degree, and other problem solving games)

3. What are her challenges?

Constant movement

Elopement to the extreme that she will stack items to open doors and study how you open various locks once their put on the door, and watch for adults diligently to ease out of a door and run away, never stopping.  

Poor attention span and inability to follow instruction.  She does really well 1-1 but not in a group setting. 

Thank you for your response and advise on curriculum if you have any! I appreciate any and all!

 

[Lawyer&Mom]

I’ve never heard of Autism Oasis, but it looks like it is designed for a student like your daughter.  (I do have an Autistic third grader, but she has different needs.) If I were in your shoes, if I could afford it, I’d be inclined to give it a try.  The part about modeling AAC use could be really helpful if it is done well.  Good job finding something that seems like it could be a good fit!

You mention she likes iPad games. Are you familiar with Khan Academy Kids?  It’s really well done and free.  

Edited May 9, 2023 by Lawyer&Mom

[StressedSCMom]

On 5/3/2023 at 8:08 PM, Rosie_0801 said:

Step one is to lower her stress levels. 

Does she not understand what is expected or is she simply too stressed to obey?

I do believe her distracting behavior is partially due to stress which is due to not being comfortable or understanding what is going on around her.  I don’t think she ever got accustomed to the classroom environment.  I think she needed that 1to1 the first week or two that worked to guide her where she needed to be throughout the day until she understood.  Her PK and K teacher did this and she was very good at walking in and following the routine.  In this class, she never got there. 

[StressedSCMom]

On 5/3/2023 at 8:56 PM, maize said:

Regarding South Carolina laws and homeschool association (cover school?) reviews, I recommend joining a local homeschool Facebook group. 

For curriculm ideas, please share your child's age and/or grade level, and her strengths and potential weaknesses.

(She is 6 years old in a self contained classroom that is considered 1st grade however her level is more PK/K with a sprinkle of 1st grade level math and site words. Math is her favorite subject; she LOVES numbers and she’s quite interested in learning and problem solving games on the iPad. Lack of Focus, following instruction and elopement are her biggest deterrents in the classroom )

Will you be home with her all day every day? (Yes and no. She is in ABA at the clinic from 9:00-2:00 most days unless she has Ot, speech or PT and I have two other kids on the spectrum that have therapies, school and other appointments or activities so I’m not strictly with her all the time and after I pick her up, we are “in the car” while I pick my other two up and take them to their respective activities)  

Is the ABA in your home? ( no but I can request home visits for specific reasons based on insurance )

Do you plan to send her back to public school and if so how soon?

(I do want to send her back as soon as possible because I feel limited in what I can teach due to my ability to do so and time I have to dedicate to it.  I want her ready to receive instruction and learn the best way she can, they say she needs to.  I just haven’t figured out what is the best way for her to learn so that I can provide that for her)

What kind of budget do you have available for homeschooling and potential extracurricular or enrichment activities?  
(Anything for her to have a full and happy life, I will find a way.  I’ve looked into private schools in my area and they are painfully expensive.  My eldest severely autistic child is currently in one so it will cause more strain but I need to good start right now before it’s too late. We are always doing extra curricular activities, hands on to keep her attention and are trying others to see what she shows interest in like sports)  

 

I have several neurodivergent kids, I'm happy to talk about things that have worked for us, though every child and situation is different. 
(Thank you and Please do!  I’m open to all options!)

 

[StressedSCMom]

On 5/3/2023 at 10:25 PM, PeterPan said:Therapy doesn't solve chemistry. Maybe what she needs is meds. 
 

I did not mention in the original post that we are currently trying medications; currently she is on a Daytrana patch (doesn’t take meds by mouth well or in food or drinK well).  We are not quite there yet but her elopement is combination of escaping and playing if she’s in the mood.  She is slowly learning the difference in tone of words to understand when someone is serious or upset/sad and most other “negative” emotions except scared. She seems to grasp happy, relaxed but firm and the loving/caring emotional tone of words. I have an older child (17) who is also nonverbal and was lower on the spectrum so I learned early on how to use simple language without inciting emotional response or anxiety. I think this was my mistake with her as she didn’t get those varying emotions from me when communicating with her; especially anger or sadness but she’s incited fear in me so she learned that one unfortunately.  I agree with needing medications but I’m trying to make sure that it’s tackling where she needs it and not changing what makes her who she is.   

 

Compliance focused ABA is a dissatisfying solution to the real problem of a lack of self-awareness, self-advocacy, and self-regulation.

(Absolutely agree! This is very difficult to Teach.  I was a very good student but I’ve never been a very good teacher.  Trying to approach such abstract subjects in a way that she understands is something I need a lot of help with.  ABA has a bad reputation among higher functioning autistic adults but the way it is approached now seems to be quite  different from the way it was approached then.  They seem to let her lead the sessions and learn on her level with her making decisions throughout.  I appreciate that and she’s enjoying it.  However, I’m open to all ideas and appreciate all the suggestions you have, so please make any suggestions you feel will be helpful!)

You might want to learn about Interoception to see if you can find an OT to work on that with her.

(I haven’t heard of this. What is this and what results are expected?)

Alternately, do the work yourself as it's not hard and would be a great use of your homeschooling time. Also, I would suggest observing the ABA sessions or having them in your home so you know is going on. 
(Having home ABA sessions would have her still on a wait list today after 2 years.  I jumped on in clinic when her name came up and took the opportunity.  I’d prefer at home as well.  I can observe but not everyday as it would be too distracting for her and the other children in the clinic. My eldest had ABA in the home and I was able to learn a great deal from those sessions as well as get parent training resources from her current ABA provider. )

I'm with Rosie that what you're calling losing progress sounds more like her stress level being up.

(I agree that her stress levels are up but I’m not sure about what’s causing it within the classroom specifically.  Self regulation has always been difficult to teach her because of how quickly she gets to a higher stress level.  It can be like a switch; she is calmly walking or sitting then she’s off and running away or she’s calmly singing or talking to herself then she may start to cry.  At that point, you cannot reach her until I get her calm or she calms down again on her own.  Not knowing what triggers it is the first barrier as I can’t teach her how to communicate her feelings then how to regulate or solve the problems she’s facing.)

Do you NEED the homeschool association legally to homeschool in SC?

(Yes, I could face truancy without it. )

What do you need to satisfy state requirements?

(options 1, 2 or 3;  https://www.homeschoolingsc.org/sc-homeschool-laws/ )

Getting stress down and take some creativity. You might just start with something simple like https://www.proedinc.com/Products/20189/cooking-to-learn-2-integrated-reading-and-writing-activities.aspx I used one of the books of this with my ds and he LOVED it!!! You get life skills, LA, narrative language, confidence, so many good things at once. Keep it SIMPLE, kwim? Find what goes well with her and do it.

(Thank you!)

Two suggestions. One, your state dept of ed should have the state standards for every grade, every subject. I print the pdf for the grade my ds more or less functions at and I go through it, selecting goals to work on. Two, I use standard, public school type materials that are written to these standards. There is no need to reinvent the wheel and no need to open yourself up to scrutiny and hassles by joining and group that will have zero clue what it's like to work with your student. Evan Moor, Carson Dellosa, Scholastic, Teacher Created Resources, Teacher Created Materials, etc. all have grade leveled materials through about grades 6-7. They will have social studies even higher. I tend to like a standard grade leveled writing curriculum and you can find one easily by looking at those sites. Then you'll know you're moving forward through skills. 

I know you're stressed. Don't make this harder than it has to be. Get the stress down, do things that build relationship, and slowly weave in academics as she seems ready. If she has this much challenge, academics are not going to be her biggest issue long term. Long term you care about emotional regulation and self-awareness. THAT is what you want to win on.

https://www.kelly-mahler.com/what-is-interoception/

Thank you! 

 

[kirstenhill]

2 hours ago, StressedSCMom said:

Thank you!  I actually found her site through TSCHAA and the curriculum guide which is helpful for most children but my 6 year old is mostly nonverbal and her behaviors are currently too distracting for the standards.  I found the autism oasis for nonverbal autistic children and wonder if it would be a good fit?  Have you heard of them? https://www.theautismoasis.com/programs

I haven't heard of it, but hopefully someone else has and can give a review! My DS14 has an autism diagnosis, but only received this year.  He is 2E, and very high achieving academically while struggling socially, so I am not as familiar with resources for students with academic or communication challenges. 

I know there are a lot of other members here that have experiences that will pertain more closely to what you are going through. 

Edited May 9, 2023 by kirstenhill

[prairiewindmomma]

So, based on what you share, in your shoes I would:

1. Consider 9-2 ABA therapy enough “school” for a nonverbal 6 yo.

2. Keep up with the iPad games. Offer her time on them as a free choice. Bring in more if it is rewarding to her.

3. Read picture books and other books to her, even if she doesn’t appear to be listening well as long as she appears to be happy and not distressed. If she wants to play or do other things while she reads, I would tell her that she can choose to do so before you begin. 
 

4. Stick with concrete math concepts. You might look at cuisenaire rod based programs—Miquon math is a good one. I would also look at some of the dyscalculia materials by Ronit Bird. Dots would be the book I would start with. 
 

How is her receptive language? 
Is she interested in doing seat work or art work at all? 
 

Honestly, I would be working with the ABA workers and cueing off of the info they give you as to her readiness to do more. But, honestly and sincerely, 5 hours of ABA daily is totally enough “school” for a 6 yo.

Right now I would just be watching for how she chooses to learn and what interests her and what she looks like when she is ready to learn. You can build on that in the future—science and history are easy to do as project based learning…but you have to start from a good foundation.

Can she bounce a ball? Can she use scissors? Can she crawl properly (this is actually a PT thing that helps with neurodevelopment)? Can she skip? Does she like to swing?  I’d use this time to work on making sure you have as solid of a physical foundation as you can also. We did a ton of OT and PT work with one of ours as school early on. It has paid off—but it was in his range of abilities to progress really far academically. But, first his body had to be able to sit and his eyes had to be able to track and we had to get the sensory stuff to a manageable level.

[Lecka]

What are her current goals in ABA?

 

Would you be better off working on her current ABA goals?

 

What does the ABA therapist think about adding academic or pre-academic goals?  
 

How are social skills goals going to be addressed — is she is an ABA center with social skills or peer (or whatever)?  
 

If not that is a priority and maybe you want to look for a play group or something?  Or does she have siblings?  It’s incredibly something that needs to be a high priority and not lost in the shuffle.  This could be doing something once or twice a week — just if there’s “something.”  It might also be addressed already if she’s at a center that offers that.  
 

Edit:  I didn’t read prior responses but my 14-yo son was in ABA for 6 years.  

Edited May 12, 2023 by Lecka

[Lecka]

I looked back at prior posts.

 

I think if you are comfortable and confident with her ABA goals, you need to focus on her ABA goals.  
 

It can be such a better use of time.

 

I would also ask if she does well “in the community” and look at goals for being in the community and knowing how to be safe and as independent as possible.  

[Lecka]

Do you have a treatment plan or anything like that from ABA, do you know what they think from however they have assessed her?

My husband’s insurance requires a treatment plan for ABA so we always had one for my son 😉. And it should reflect goals and stuff.

If you don’t agree with her goals they should be receptive to you.  You should also be receptive to them.  
 

You can get on a list with another agency if you are not happy with your current provider.  I have a feeling like they should be discussing things like this with you.  If you’re brand new then not so much.  

[Lecka]

I think I would say — can you look at the big picture of goals, all kinds of goals.  Academic goals are one kind of goal.  You are allowed to have a realistic goal you want to work on “just because,” as long as it’s within balance and it’s currently realistic.

 

What happens a lot with ABA is a parent says “I want this goal” and then the ABA can explain “we want that goal too, and here’s how this goal is going to build a foundation or directly lead to that goal.”  Or maybe it can be a current goal 🙂. 
 

But you have your hours in the day — how will you complement what ABA is doing?  What are they doing — so that you can balance or complement what they are doing?

 

Maybe you’re reinforcing goals.

 

Maybe you’re filling in things they aren’t addressing — and if this is the case, let it be social, daily living skills, community skills!!!!!!! As balanced with academic or pre-academic.

 

Then what are you really needing to provide?

 

Is it reinforcing goals?  Working on “home stuff” like brushing teeth or something?  Being able to go in the bathroom on her own at a McDonalds (or as close to that as appropriate for her age)?  
 

Or is is that she needs extra parent nurturing, or unstructured play time, or nature time, or whatever will give her a good life even while she is doing 6 hours a day of ABA.  She needs a good life now.  And then along with that, you need to produce her as well-rested, content with her life, and well-regulated as you possibly can so she can make the most of her ABA time.  
 

I would also ask if you agree with the time and that it’s all productive and she’s getting enough breaks and fun. 
 

I cut a day of ABA one time because we hadn’t been to the little community zoo in too long and I didn’t want to miss doing those things.  So we took Fridays off from ABA for a while.  But it was also appropriate at the time, too, it was realistic.  
 

A lot of times I was reinforcing behavioral goals, and focusing on providing a well-loved, happy, getting unstructured play time and park time, kid, so that he could be at his best for ABA.  
 

And if unstructured play time is a mess, then play skills or leisure skills can be a goal.  
 

I also think it’s possible it will turn out they’re doing more pre-academic or academic skills with her in ABA than you might be aware of right now.  That would be a nice surprise!