DawnM Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 If you recall, we rented out dad's apartment to a friend's son (he is friends with my kids from scouts). He was going to stay 2 months while he figured out where to go. He stayed 9 months. We were fine with it and told him he could stay as long as he wanted as long as he abided by our rules. The only real issue we had was noise and we addressed it as it came up. Anyway, he is moving out and into a condo with some friends. DH doesn't want to rent it out again, he wants to use the room as a hang out/TV/workout/gym area. It was a minimal amount of $$ we were charging but it was a little bit of play money. This is not earth shattering information or anything......just an announcement. 🤪 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 4, 2023 Author Share Posted April 4, 2023 Oh, and honestly, I am a little nervous about getting that room back. Last time WE used it, it wasn't turned into an apartment for my dad. I am afraid this is going to be hard for me to want to use that room as it will bring back a lot of feelings about my dad. 25 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 13 minutes ago, DawnM said: Oh, and honestly, I am a little nervous about getting that room back. Last time WE used it, it wasn't turned into an apartment for my dad. I am afraid this is going to be hard for me to want to use that room as it will bring back a lot of feelings about my dad. That makes sense. I'm sorry. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 I am sorry that this is a point of stress for you all. Could you ask around among friends if they know someone in need of a stable place for a few months. It could be a real blessing for someone to have a safe place to live and for you to make some money and for you to have a little more time❤️ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 2 hours ago, DawnM said: Oh, and honestly, I am a little nervous about getting that room back. Last time WE used it, it wasn't turned into an apartment for my dad. I am afraid this is going to be hard for me to want to use that room as it will bring back a lot of feelings about my dad. Many (hugs) Ime, it's s very good that you are realizing this ahead of time. You may need to ease into using the room. When it's empty maybe just pass through it during the day to start. Notice if anything about the room is particularly triggering and consider changing it up. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OH_Homeschooler Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 Would it make sense for your husband to turn the room into a man cave type thing, and just let him have it as a hangout? Then maybe you can clear out some stuff in your other living areas and reinvent them to your liking. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 4, 2023 Author Share Posted April 4, 2023 3 hours ago, OH_Homeschooler said: Would it make sense for your husband to turn the room into a man cave type thing, and just let him have it as a hangout? Then maybe you can clear out some stuff in your other living areas and reinvent them to your liking. He wants it to be a gym/TV space so I guess that could be considered a man cave. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 4, 2023 Author Share Posted April 4, 2023 6 hours ago, lmrich said: I am sorry that this is a point of stress for you all. Could you ask around among friends if they know someone in need of a stable place for a few months. It could be a real blessing for someone to have a safe place to live and for you to make some money and for you to have a little more time❤️ Dh isn't really keen on renting again but if someone needs it AND they are quiet, I would consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 4, 2023 Author Share Posted April 4, 2023 4 hours ago, happi duck said: Many (hugs) Ime, it's s very good that you are realizing this ahead of time. You may need to ease into using the room. When it's empty maybe just pass through it during the day to start. Notice if anything about the room is particularly triggering and consider changing it up. Yeah, it is ALL pretty much triggering. If you remember, we spent a lot of time designing that room, so the paint, the new bathroom, the layout of the kitchen.....it was all decisions I made for Dad. 4 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 8 minutes ago, DawnM said: Yeah, it is ALL pretty much triggering. If you remember, we spent a lot of time designing that room, so the paint, the new bathroom, the layout of the kitchen.....it was all decisions I made for Dad. I do remember that. You put so much thought, effort, and time into making it as comfortable and accessible as possible for him. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 22 minutes ago, DawnM said: Yeah, it is ALL pretty much triggering. If you remember, we spent a lot of time designing that room, so the paint, the new bathroom, the layout of the kitchen.....it was all decisions I made for Dad. I do remember (hugs) I've btdt but for my sister. Lately, it's been the drapes we chose for her that stand out. It is really hard. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 15 minutes ago, happi duck said: I've btdt but for my sister. Lately, it's been the drapes we chose for her that stand out. It is really hard. I'm sorry. Hugs to you too. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted April 4, 2023 Share Posted April 4, 2023 1 hour ago, DawnM said: He wants it to be a gym/TV space so I guess that could be considered a man cave. Your DH has been through a lot of trauma and chaos too. It would be nice if he had a place (man cave of that is what he wants) for now and maybe not have deal with another tenant in there for a bit. Time for you all to recover and heal some, which will be accomplished in different ways by each of you. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 16 hours ago, mlktwins said: Your DH has been through a lot of trauma and chaos too. It would be nice if he had a place (man cave of that is what he wants) for now and maybe not have deal with another tenant in there for a bit. Time for you all to recover and heal some, which will be accomplished in different ways by each of you. True, and I know he wants to turn half of it into a home gym. My freshman college son is coming home for the summer and I bet he would love to use it as well to hang out with his buddies. It now has a door and closes and has an exit door to the outside as well (all added when dad moved in) so that would be good. My oldest (ASD) said maybe one of his online friends would like to move in.....ARGH! NO! And I am semi-waiting for my 19 year old to ask if his BFF and BFF's girlfriend can move in. No to that too. His friend, maybe, but not two of them. We don't have the car space for two nor is the room large enough AND the biggest issue will be noise. I think we just want our room back. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 I would say no to online friends etc. one you could consider if you do decide to rent it out long term would be an older single person who has steady income and is likely to be quiet. I know of several widowed ladies that would fit that. but no need to rent it out if you don’t want to either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted April 5, 2023 Share Posted April 5, 2023 Would a new paint color help? I think I would try to refresh the space in a way that distinguished it from when your dad lived there. I agree that a hang out/work out room seems like the way to go. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 5, 2023 Author Share Posted April 5, 2023 26 minutes ago, sassenach said: Would a new paint color help? I think I would try to refresh the space in a way that distinguished it from when your dad lived there. I agree that a hang out/work out room seems like the way to go. No, I actually love the color and painted our new closet make over the same color. And it was just painted a year ago and cost several hundred to hire someone, so we won't be changing that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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