Is this normal?

[dsmith]

We would have taken the dog home and asked around, checked with the police department, asked someone to post on the local facebook group, etc. Our police department will usually take a stray dog - they post often with lost dogs they are holding at the station. Dh is a dog person and would absolutely insist on grabbing the dog to keep it safe. If nobody claimed it we would probably end up with a dog.😁 We have helped people run after their dogs - it seems to be a common occurrence around here and our street is very busy. Our previous neighbor's dog often got out and dh brought him back whenever we found him. A few times the family was out and the door was wide open, so dh would let him in and make sure the door was closed properly, 

[J-rap]

I think both reactions are completely normal.  I'd have taken the dog in immediately, no questions asked, but I do know a lot of very kind people who would do anything for other people but who happened to grow up in an environment where they don't think of dogs in the same way.  Even my parents' generation (they're in their 90's!) who are some of the kindest people I know, generally wouldn't have thought to take in a stray dog.  I don't think it indicates that they're bad or creepy or thoughtless.  Their life experiences just haven't taught them to think of dogs in the same way that I do. 

It can be really frustrating, yes, but I think it's unfair to think of them as thoughtless people.

[El...]

I've been thinking about this situation today. This may not be the case for your dh, but I know one person who would be very upset at a strange dog in their yard because of the risk of diseases. They'd worry that a stray dog might give their dog parvo or something. I think they had a childhood stressor about it. 

I hope the dog has been returned to his family by now!

 

[EmilyGF]

On 3/4/2023 at 4:05 PM, Xahm said:

I have an old friend,a wonderful woman with an adorable toddler, in the hospital right now as she was suddenly attacked by a dog and had to have her lower leg amputated. That's going to color how I feel about loose dogs for a really long time. I'd catch a dog I know and hold it for the owners, but that's about it. My husband's feelings are more strongly anti-dog than mine. Both of us have lived in environments with dangerous packs of feral dogs. I'm glad he and I are in basic agreement on this as it would be hard if one of us thought it immoral to not help while the other found it irresponsibly dangerous to help. 

I was regularly chased by a dog as a child. The owners said it was a sweet dog and was just chasing me and barking at me because it wanted to love on me. Uh-huh. I don't want dogs anywhere near me not on a lease.

The dog attacked people on two separate occasions that I know of, was taken into custody, but always released to once again chase and attack people. My bible study leader's dog attacked her daughter so she needed stitches. My brother got bitten by a dog the owner said would never harm a flea. I would call the police or pound, but not take a stray dog in.

Emily

[wintermom]

On 3/3/2023 at 11:13 PM, busymama7 said:

This kind of thing isn't abnormal for him and I am getting past done with dealing with it.  My question I guess is, is this typical? Do most people not try to help loose dogs and/or be pissed if someone in their house brings one home temporarily while making a good faith effort to find owners?  I had no intention of trying to keep him and everyone knew that. I was just trying to protect him as was my daughter.  

I honestly am not sure if most people would have tried to help or ignored it or what? 

Are you asking whether it's normal to help out a lost dog, or normal for a spouse to react so negatively to a spouse and daughter for helping a lost dog? 

We've lost dogs a few times over the last 20 years and been VERY thankful for people helping us find our dogs. We've also gone out of our way to help other dogs and owners be reunited. My dd also volunteered at a wildlife rescue centre, and has been known to rescue a squirrel and bring it to the rescue centre. Caring for animals (pets or wild ones) is just something normal to us. 

It sounds like on this thread that some people have had negative experiences with dogs out on the loose. That could definitely alter what choice of action would be normal for them if a lost dog was suddenly in their backyard. However, if the person's daughter and wife were actively caring for the lost pet and it was obvious it wasn't a dangerous animal, then I believe the reaction of the husband is rather cruel to their family members to react so unsupportively. 

 

[Shoeless]

I find your husband's response very odd.  Not that he doesn't want the responsibility of a random dog, (I get that), but the level of anger about it is puzzling.  Is there more to his emotions? Is he afraid of dogs and his anxiety is coming out as anger? Is he worried you're going to keep the dog and this will be another expense? Or is he like this about any situation where help is needed from a stranger? (stranded motorist, lost kid, etc?)

I'm out in the country, so there are always random dogs wandering around.  I don't generally get involved unless there's an obvious sign of distress or like when someone's little foofy-poofy dog got loose. Little foofy-poofy dogs don't wander the countryside freely, so I scooped him up and found his family. 

 

Edited March 6, 2023 by Shoeless

[Scarlett]

9 hours ago, Shoeless said:

I find your husband's response very odd.  Not that he doesn't want the responsibility of a random dog, (I get that), but the level of anger about it is puzzling.  Is there more to his emotions? Is he afraid of dogs and his anxiety is coming out as anger? Is he worried you're going to keep the dog and this will be another expense? Or is he like this about any situation where help is needed from a stranger? (stranded motorist, lost kid, etc?)

 

 

This isn’t about the dog.  It is about anger over normal every day things. Walking on eggshells is the worst.  

[freesia]

10 hours ago, Shoeless said:

I find your husband's response very odd.  Not that he doesn't want the responsibility of a random dog, (I get that), but the level of anger about it is puzzling.  Is there more to his emotions? Is he afraid of dogs and his anxiety is coming out as anger? Is he worried you're going to keep the dog and this will be another expense? Or is he like this about any situation where help is needed from a stranger? (stranded motorist, lost kid, etc?)

I'm out in the country, so there are always random dogs wandering around.  I don't generally get involved unless there's an obvious sign of distress or like when someone's little foofy-poofy dog got loose. Little foofy-poofy dogs don't wander the countryside freely, so I scooped him up and found his family. 

 

Yes, this. 

[regentrude]

Having been bitten by a dog as a child, I myself would not touch a stray dog.

This said: to me, the incident sounds as if this isn't about the dog at all. The dog may just have been the last straw for a person who, for whatever reason, is stressed to the max and loses it when there is suddenly one more unexpected thing in their lives. 

[busymama7]

Update: dog is still with neighbor but we are taking him to the foundation today.  We have canvased the neighborhood hung signs, posted online etc and nothing. He is clearly someones pet so I hope they know to check the foundation for him. 

Yes my husband has other stressors including some physical ones that were going on so I'm letting it go. But this kind of thing is typical and is exhausting.   He does have lots of good qualities too.