2squared Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 Promposal pics are in the yearbook, so it’s not something the kids skip Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 I'm sorry. I agree, they are dumb and can cause embarrassment. If this is a nice guy could she suggest that instead of going as a couple, he go with her friend group? That she'd like to get to know him, but she already had plans with them, so if he'd like to join them just as friends, he's welcome, but if he'd prefer a real date he should ask someone else. That's how I'd suggest handling it. And hey, some guys will relish the idea of being the single guy in a group of girls! Lets her not feel comitted to him, gets rid of any romantic expectations, and maybe she makes a new friend who is a guy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted April 12, 2022 Author Share Posted April 12, 2022 26 minutes ago, PaxEtLux said: In the dark ages, when I was in High School, no guy would ask a girl to prom without having a pretty good idea that she would agree. Often there was an intricate secret web of communications before the actual ask, via friends, friends-of-friends, etc. to negotiate such things like "I'll go, but just as friends", "We can go in a big friend group", or "No thank you", or whatever. Is this not done anymore? As we talk about about consent, seems like this is a good way to get to consent without a lot of embarrassment on the part of the asker or the askee. The friends that are close but go to different schools whose prom is on the same day is planning to meet and take pictures together before their own respective events. In any case day-of is way too late to say yes or no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 34 minutes ago, KSera said: Not sure why my name was invoked here, but just to make clear, I definitely have never had anything to do with making a promposal prop for anyone 😬. (Though honestly, I would have found a sign done in crooked teenage boy lettering more endearing than one beautifully made by his mom, but that’s me 🤷♀️.) Oh you're correct. I thought you were the one being asked what "making a promposal" meant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lale Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 59 minutes ago, deBij said: Would you daughter consider having him hang out with her friend group before the prom? If that doesn't work out, he can just ask someone else to the prom. If she finds him likeable, then he can join the friend group for the prom. This is what my dd just did with a recent invite to prom from someone she doesn't know well. Thankfully he didn't ask publicly, but he did ask her to a prior event publicly that she had to decline because of previous plans. She was very embarrassed, but in his defense, I think he didn't know how to get her alone to ask and probably mustered up the courage and went for it. After the prom invite, she told him that she really needed to get to know him better before she felt comfortable going to prom with him. He agreed, and they have been hanging out both online and with friends. She has had a lot of fun with him and has agreed to go with him. It probably won't end the way he wants (in a romantic relationship) but I hope she gains a new friend out of this experience, and I think they will end up having fun. I am so, so glad that he didn't ask her publicly. She has struggled to find her place socially in the homeschool group that we are a part of, and this really threw her for a loop. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Home'scool Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 Quote I'm sorry, but glad it was a turning point for her. That is really weird. Did the other girl go with him? The other girl did. It was they type of thing where he and the other girl would break up, date others, then get back together again. Over and over. So, I guess she was used to his bad behavior and would hope that "this time" it would work out 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 17 hours ago, 2squared said: Our school requires a two personal couple for the grand March, so everyone is paired up. No one attends solo or solo in a big group. I find it weird and controlling for a school to require teenagers to pair up for an event. And I wish that promposals and gender reveal parties would both slink off to the woods and die. 11 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted April 12, 2022 Share Posted April 12, 2022 27 minutes ago, katilac said: I find it weird and controlling for a school to require teenagers to pair up for an event. And I wish that promposals and gender reveal parties would both slink off to the woods and die. I agree. @2squared I’m curious if this is a public or private school, if you’re comfortable sharing? I have never heard of this practice, our local proms seem to have hordes of kids attending in groups. Though DS’s “royalty” friends were actually attending as a couple, hmmm, I’ll have to ask if requirements were different for them. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clarita Posted April 13, 2022 Share Posted April 13, 2022 I don't even like extravagant wedding proposals. I actually witnessed a ballpark jumbotron marriage proposal that got rejected. I think if you are doing something like that just do a between the two of you beforehand and then when that is a yes then do a surprise grand gesture. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted April 13, 2022 Share Posted April 13, 2022 21 hours ago, Ting Tang said: I hate promposals, too. Can we save elaborate proposals for marriages instead? I like the advice of telling him she didn’t want to embarrass him but she is going with friends. School staff participating in this type of thing sort of rubs me the wrong way, too. These are kids. I hate this promposal thing too! I do have to say I am also against elaborate proposals for marriage too. I had to turn down someone in a very public place with a few hundred eyes on us - cafeteria at college where he did this big dramatic thing. It is profoundly uncomfortable for both parties. OP, I am so sorry this happened. I will never understand all the crazy hype over prom. I must be an ole fuddy duddy because it leaves me scratching my head. It is just too much pressure on young people. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ting Tang Posted April 13, 2022 Share Posted April 13, 2022 1 hour ago, Faith-manor said: I hate this promposal thing too! I do have to say I am also against elaborate proposals for marriage too. I had to turn down someone in a very public place with a few hundred eyes on us - cafeteria at college where he did this big dramatic thing. It is profoundly uncomfortable for both parties. OP, I am so sorry this happened. I will never understand all the crazy hype over prom. I must be an ole fuddy duddy because it leaves me scratching my head. It is just too much pressure on young people. Oh yes… There are crazy men who will ask unsuspecting women to marry them in weird moments… I prefer intimacy and privacy,. I don’t feel we should encourage this for kids IMO. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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