S/o Questioning by TSA

[katilac]

12 hours ago, Farrar said:

I'm thinking that those things could easily be misread though.  

 

Sure they can. That's why it's just a red flag that may call for getting more information. 

10 hours ago, Terabith said:

Oh dear.  My 13 year old is far from nonverbal, but she has no ID and significant anxiety.  She could easily look like a trafficking victim and might not respond to someone asking her name or age.  She has a hard time remembering her birthday, especially under stress.  She has a hard time ordering food or requesting a refill at a restaurant. Not sure how she would react to a TSA agent.  

 

Definitely get her an ID. 13 is the age where they really start needing an ID for various things anyway (other kids have school IDs that serve the purpose a lot of time, but homeschooled kids don't have that). 

8 hours ago, SKL said:

 I would agree that airlines etc. should advise parents ahead of time if they are going to need to present proof under certain circumstances.

 

The airlines do indeed advise parents of what they need to travel with minor children, but I'm guessing most people don't read the details. What they require may be different than what will get you through TSA easily. 

7 hours ago, StellaM said:

That would have been very offputting for us as a mixed race family - plus I had a selectively mute child there for a while, and the other two were shy and would freeze up. 

 

Non-mixed-race families get questioned as well, so hopefully people get that it's not just based on that. If my kids would possibly not answer, I'd for sure travel with copies of birth certificates, with their passports, get them an ID, whatever. Actually, scratch that - if I were traveling with kids these days, I would do that regardless, it just makes life simpler. 

6 hours ago, Pronghorn said:

I wish people would use a little emotional intelligence and differentiate between a child who is hopping mad and a child who is terrified.  

 

That can be super hard to do with kids you don't know! One screaming, flailing child looks much like the next. 

It's unfortunate if a parent or child is upset at being questioned, but I really don't see how else the authorities are supposed to check on a possibly suspicious situation and make sure things are okay. Having ID is a great idea and can definitely shorten the situation. 

[Plagefille]

My kids get asked name and age by TSA. It has never felt invasive. They don't have to show ID, so it doesn't seem like they're asking much. And we always get to go through the easier, quicker screening. 

I never thought about it having to do with child trafficking or anything, interesting. I never thought they asked because they suspected anything. I thought it was standard protocol. I mean I have no idea who would suspect us when we are all together. Our kids are our mini mes.

[zimom]

Really, you are being unreasonable.  

As others have said, flying is a privilege, not a right and TSA is there, for the most part, to keep us all safe.  No, they don't all follow the rules uniformly, but for the most part, they are trying. Get over it.  My youngest goes by a nickname, so from a young age, the first thing we did was prep her that she needed to answer the TSA agent with her full legal name.  She didn't even know how to spell her legal name until recently.  That is how rarely it is used/heard in our home.

Second, because of a physical disability, she receives a secondary screening EVERY SINGLE TIME!  Yes, I could get bent out of shape, I could scream to the rooftops, I could even film it and post it online and in the news, but life is too short.  They even occasionally take her away from me, which is against the rules, but once I knew she could handle herself, again, there are bigger things to worry about.  There have been several times they didn't follow the correct procedure for how she is supposed to receive her secondary screening, but as long as they are respectful and don't cross boundaries, we let it go.  They want to do their job, we want to get through screening.  She chats them up and it is clear they appreciate a cooperative kid.

We won't even go into the fact she is a transracial adoptee.  

Edited March 4, 2019 by ZiMom

[Bootsie]

I can see how it is difficult for a TSA agent to be handed several passports and board passes that they have to sort out of which belongs to whom.  This can get even more complicated when people in the family may have the same or similar names and when children may no longer look like the picture on their passport.  Having one person/one set of documents makes it easier to keep up with how many people you actually have documents for and do they match up.  

I do not think having children holding on to their own passports would decrease human trafficking issues; in fact, I am fearful that it would make it easier.  If someone wants to kidnap my 5 year old and get them on an international flight quickly, it will be much easier for them to do that if my 5 year old is holding a passport than if I am holding the child's passport. 

[MercyA]

Taking a stand with the TSA is not worth it. They have the power to wreck your day and worse. I'm sorry to say it, but there are some real pervs and some bullies working those lines. 😡

Edited March 4, 2019 by MercyA

[Mergath]

4 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Taking a stand with the TSA is not worth it. They have the power to wreck your day and worse. I'm sorry to say it, but there are some real pervs and some bullies working those lines. 😡

 

And they should be fired. But asking a child for their name, age, and where they're going doesn't make a TSA agent a perv or a bully.

[MercyA]

3 minutes ago, Mergath said:

And they should be fired. But asking a child for their name, age, and where they're going doesn't make a TSA agent a perv or a bully.

I agree. I was just saying that generally speaking, it's better to just do what the TSA asks. 

[importswim]

My kids and I fly very often. Every time they're asked at the TSA screening what their names are. It's just a normal part of screening. 

[TheReader]

18 hours ago, TechWife said:

My husband can be a bit of a control freak when we fly as a family. The first international trip we did with ds (he was a teen), dh tried to handle the passports and got the same lecture from the TSA agent. But, it isn't just a TSA rule. Security in other countries have this rule as well. The reasoning is basic, as the person who owns the documents should be in possession of them. However, it also goes a little deeper and serves as a protection for the people traveling. Sometimes travel parties do become separated from one another - each person still needs their passport, not only for identification, but in order to travel home. Additionally, it serves as a small protection for those who may be traveling against their will. Without possession of the passport, someone who is away from their home country has a much harder time returning to their home country, as it will involve trips to the embassy and other paperwork in order to get a replacement passport while abroad. Now, in reality, an abuser can demand the passport back after they have cleared security and customs, but having possession of a passport may provide a tiny window of time for someone to be able to break free. It also means that security and customs are not facilitating an abusive situation and possibly even an international kidnapping.

I know that sounds far fetched to some, but I think people who work in airports have seen things that some of us have no idea about. It's sort of like working in a hospital in that there is a huge cross section of the population present, a large number of people, there is stress and so many different things can happen. I've had people ask me why our hospital system has it's own police force, and I respond "Oh, you have no idea/wouldn't believe what goes on in a hospital." I think the same thing about an airport - I am sure I have no idea what all they have seen and been involved with, especially the large airports or airports that serve as ports of entry for a country. I think we tend to think of the more obvious situations, like terrorism, and lately awareness of human trafficking has increased, but when you consider domestic violence, child custody disputes, drug trafficking, the fact that people get sick in airports, have accidents, etc.. - I've probably only mentioned the tip of the iceberg, honestly. The rules really are there for a reason.

Oh, it wasn't so much the rule itself that bugged me, it was more his attitude, and then the fact that after the lecture -- he handed all 5 passports back to me, rather than back to each kid as he went through questioning them. Like, why the lecture, and a rude one at that, if you are then going to hand them back to me anyway? 

I do absolutely understand the rule and reasons for it, although this was the first time we'd encountered it in 3+ years of international travel at that point. 

[SKL]

I agree that there is no consistency in the airport screening experience from one flight to the next.  I have long since learned not to expect anything.  it seems they change the rules every day, in addition to each airport having different rules.  I just ask while I'm in the line leading up to the security folks.  I try hard to leave enough time for unexpected variations.  I think my kids are also seasoned enough to just go with the flow, be it upstream or downstream.

I have been separated from my kids a couple times, but we were traveling with a larger group, so it wasn't scary to me.  If they tried to separate us when we were traveling without another adult, I might ask for us to be allowed to stay together.  I'm not sure, but I assume you can do that until they are 18 (older if they have special needs).

Last time we traveled, the guy ahead of us in line made a fuss with the TSA dude.  He was trying to get his 13yo daughter through without first going through some procedure - I don't remember what - that was required for kids older than 12.  I think he tried to fib and say she was 12.  When they told him to go back and do it right, he got all huffy - "oh yeah, she looks so dangerous."  He was in a hurry and who knows, maybe they missed their flight.  The TSA guy was unimpressed.  I was a little nervous being next in line, but the TSA guy was professional.

That doesn't look like a fun job, so I don't expect them to be super warm, although many of them are quite nice.  All I really care about is getting on my flight, with my kids and all our stuff.

[zimom]

12 hours ago, SKL said:

That doesn't look like a fun job, so I don't expect them to be super warm, although many of them are quite nice.  All I really care about is getting on my flight, with my kids and all our stuff.

 

Yes.  Just to reiterate, my daughter requires a secondary screening every single time due to her physical disabilities.  I know it is extra work for them and it is extra time for us.  We traveled the first day after the recent shutdown, and I knew the TSA agents had to be extra stressed thinking about the fact they had no idea when they would receive their next paycheck.  At the end of her screening, I made sure the thank the last agent and tell him I  appreciated them still working hard to keep us safe despite no paycheck.  His face lit up.  Every day, every interaction we can choose kindness or we can choose to be a jerk.  I save being a jerk for when it is really warranted.