cintinative Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 So I have some experience that is flavoring this because a close friend had a husband who became addicted to p*rn at an early age. Plus I am not ignorant of how easy that addiction develops. However, this is my oldest so maybe I am being too protective? I don't know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 I side more with Yes-that's a problem, but voted maybe because I would need more info on the set-up/chaperones/situation. Will they have access for a purpose, like part of a game, pictures etc? Is this access for the entire time? Is the time strictly controlled and scheduled, moving from one activity to another? Or are we talking about hours of unstructured, just hang around and do your own thing? I ran all of our church's lock-ins for years. I got to a point that I said, "Never again!" and then stopped. I switched us over to having more frequent events over a couple hours time, and it was much more successful for all involved. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 For the record, it is more about the environment within a group that is problematic in my view. Stuff that a single kid might not look up or get into on their own, they sometimes will do because of group-think and a party-like high. I have seen this so many times. If the kids are moving from one scheduled activity to another with not much delay or unsupervised time then I would not be too concerned. I don't like the idea of kid's phones being taken from them, but I think it is perfectly appropriate to ask them to be put away during a majority of the activities. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 (edited) 5 minutes ago, jewellsmommy said: For the record, it is more about the environment within a group that is problematic in my view. Stuff that a single kid might not look up or get into on their own, they sometimes will do because of group-think and a party-like high. I have seen this so many times. If the kids are moving from one scheduled activity to another with not much delay or unsupervised time then I would not be too concerned. I don't like the idea of kid's phones being taken from them, but I think it is perfectly appropriate to ask them to be put away during a majority of the activities. Last year's schedule: 7:00 – Pizza & Hang Out 8:00 – Outdoor Games 9:00 – Message, Reflection, & Small Groups 10:00 – Outdoor Games (Gold Rush) 10:30 – Bonfire 12:00 – Movies (three movies listed) 6:00 – Breakfast 6:30 – Closing & Announcement I have no idea. I have worked at lock-ins before but that was before the era of cell phones and iPads. Edited August 13, 2018 by cintinative Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Because p*rn is so prevalent these days....and so much more hard core and such (yes, we faced this).... i would probably want to reach out to one of the coordinators and find out more. Honestly, I think the church should talk to its members about monitoring, locking-down devices to help prevent this. It doesn't mean that kids can't get around it, but I don't think many parents realize how prevalent it is, and how early first exposure is. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 7 minutes ago, umsami said: Because p*rn is so prevalent these days....and so much more hard core and such (yes, we faced this).... i would probably want to reach out to one of the coordinators and find out more. Honestly, I think the church should talk to its members about monitoring, locking-down devices to help prevent this. It doesn't mean that kids can't get around it, but I don't think many parents realize how prevalent it is, and how early first exposure is. I know that at present there is no filter on the wifi at the church because my husband helps with the internet/IT stuff. It's something they have talked about but never implemented. So this bothers me too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 It would bother me because they're there to socialize and talk to each other. Learning when an appropriate time to be on a device is and when it isn't is part of life and I would have no problem telling them all to put them away or have them removed until the end of the lock-in. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 I have 7th grade daughters who will be going on a church lock-in in a couple weeks. My biggest concern is supervision. I'm more likely to be concerned about what kids will do in person vs. on the internet. At present I have no reason to doubt their safety. I don't think my kids are at the point yet where they will take serious risks. Mostly I will be interested to hear what happens so I can decide on future events. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 34 minutes ago, cintinative said: Last year's schedule: 7:00 – Pizza & Hang Out 8:00 – Outdoor Games 9:00 – Message, Reflection, & Small Groups 10:00 – Outdoor Games (Gold Rush) 10:30 – Bonfire 12:00 – Movies (three movies listed) 6:00 – Breakfast 6:30 – Closing & Announcement I have no idea. I have worked at lock-ins before but that was before the era of cell phones and iPads. That midnight to 6am block would be a big problem (for me) if they have their devices on them. If they are put away, then fine. The other weak spot is the 1.5hr bonfire. I would hope that that would be device free as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted August 13, 2018 Author Share Posted August 13, 2018 1 minute ago, heartlikealion said: I can't tell if this is when the movies begin ... 12am and 3 movies? So movies on almost all night? And then they leave at 6am tired and cranky? yes, assuming they stay up. ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 8 minutes ago, heartlikealion said: I can't tell if this is when the movies begin ... 12am and 3 movies? So movies on almost all night? And then they leave at 6am tired and cranky? That's what a lock-in is. Staying up all night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Tweens having unrestricted access to devices anywhere bothers me. I would much prefer adults put some limits in to help kids resist the distraction of Instagram or YouTube or freaking Fortnite. But then I'm an absolute grump at the thought of stay-up-all-night-with-a-bunch-of-people-and-have-FUNFUNFUN-as-defined-by-other-people events. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 2 hours ago, jewellsmommy said: For the record, it is more about the environment within a group that is problematic in my view. Stuff that a single kid might not look up or get into on their own, they sometimes will do because of group-think and a party-like high. This, a thousand times. I would talk to leadership about having clear expectations for the kids and devices. Conversations are better than banning the use of devices, because their phones are also their cameras and so on, and I tend to think they need to learn how to manage them. Expectations will obviously include no inappropriate sites. At this age, you might have to talk about what that means. Obviously no porn, but what about youtube videos with cursing, or scenes from R=rated movies? They might decide the rule is that you can't show vids or play games on your phone, period. It's one night with plenty of activities, they can survive that and it leaves no gray area. Parents need to be made aware of the rules also, and the penalties for breaking them. If I were a parent who had access to their internet setup, I'd be blocking the extreme levels while waiting for them to get their stuff together. Because who at the church is going to complain if they discover they can't access porn? ? The kids can still get to it with data, but no reason to make it easy on them. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 Another discussion they need to have is that you don't post photos of other people on social media without their permission. This needs to be made explicit, because many tweens are immature and think it's funny to post embarrassing pictures of others (usually those on the fringe of the group). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted August 13, 2018 Share Posted August 13, 2018 I’d be ok with them having devices as long as they’re engaging with the planned activities. They might be taking pictures or snap chatting during the event, but they can still be actively involved. Now, if they are sitting on the sidelines during game time because they’re on Facebook, I’d be ok with staff asking for the phones to be put away. When I can’t sleep I put earbuds in and listen to music. It blocks out noise and lets me relax and sleep. I can see a kid doing that instead of listening to a movie all night. I’d also want the teen to have a way to call me if needed- not necessarily for safety but maybe the kid isn’t used to sleepovers or has felt picked on or maybe a girl starts her period unexpectedly. sometimes a quick phone call and turn that frown upside down. ‘So I’d really only want unlimited access if the staff is allowed to intervene if the devices at interfering with the intent of the lock in. But I don’t want devices to be prohibited either. Somewhere in the middle, I guess. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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