limiting screen time

[ProudGrandma]

I need some creative ways to limit screen time with kids who are home alone 4 afternoons a week.  (their dad is at work just next door and I am at work 5 blocks away) It's not that I worry about that they are on their computers...I just don't want the kids on them all afternoon while they are home alone and nobody is there to remind them to do something else.  It's easy to go and just check email...and then before you know it, 4 hours has passed. 

Right now their laptops are in their rooms and I am not really interested in removing them while i am gone...because sometimes they use them for productive things...but they also get sucked into the computer vortex and I would rather they don't stare at their screens all afternoon.  How do you teach your teen age kids to use their computers wisely, and in moderation?

Oh, I am not interested in this thread becoming one where my parental decisions are being questioned...I am just trying to give my kids the freedom to email and "hangout" with their friends, look at pinterest, (my daughter does this for ideas for her job) listen to audio books, etc...without also getting consumed by watching you tube video after you tube video after you tube video...because "they look interesting."

any thoughts for me?

thanks.

[Desert Strawberry]

I don;t think you can enforce limits when no one is there without taking more extreme measures than you are comfortable with. 

You could give a list of requirements or suggestions. Chores, projects, reading assignments, etc. But you would have to trust them to actually follow the list and enforce consequences if they don't or make it optional. When I leave my teens unattended, I give them a list of tasks/assignments to finish before I get back. I don't enforce it strictly, but I do expect them to do most of what I ask, and there will be consequences if they do little or none of what I ask.  I know that they will play playstation and watch youtube. Guaranteed. But I hope they do some laundry and finish their schoolwork first. 

[Ottakee]

Disney circle.can be set up.to.allpw.a certain amount of time.on each device during certain time.periods (like you.could.allow one hour during the block of time).  You can also limit what sites/apps they can access.

[ProudGrandma]

that is interesting.  Thanks.  I will check that out.

[PeterPan]

Well what are your alternatives? It might be easier to focus on what you WANT them to do, so that whatever time is left they can have free to make choices with. 

-exercise

-crafting

-homework

-reading

-vocation/hobby studies

-chores

If you're not giving them homework as part of their work for you, might be a good time. They could have a list of acceptable exercise options. They could have chores that rotate through the day/week, including meal prep, laundry, cleaning. They could have kits for crafting that they are required to spend time on productively. They could have a time slot where they pursue something of their choice that is productive that they research and implement. They can rotate being the chef for dinner.

I'm not saying so much tell them what to do as give them categories that they figure out how to fill in to busy themselves. I had a lot of time alone when I was a kid. I don't remember everything I did. I know I spent time jump roping. My mom left us chores. We read. We rode bikes. Definitely holed up in their rooms on the computer isn't healthy. Can they go to the Y or do sports? 

I don't keep wifi on at our house, but in a situation like that I might just flat turn off the wifi while I was gone. That's a pretty hard situation to control. 

[Chris in VA]

Maybe just turn the wifi on the last hour before you get home? Do they have smart phones that they use data with? Because that won't work if they can just use their phones. 

[busymama7]

I am 41 and greatly struggle with this myself.  You may be reaching for something that isn't really possible.  Not without some clear, enforceable boundaries.  I get that that isn't helpful really, but all I can think of is, I can't even always manage this and I have a mature brain and lots of life experience and I waste way too much time online. 

[regentrude]

Sign them up for activities that take up part of the time, and arrange transportation to those activities.

[kiwik]

I assume you husband needs the WiFi on? I don't have any advice except set some homework and make other options available.  How old are they though?

[ProudGrandma]

they are 14, 16 and 17. this is why I am do not think treating them like little kids is appropriate...especially the 2 older ones.  I agree that I need to give them things to do...and as I thought about my summer ahead...we do have things planned throughout...camping trips, 3 week vacation...and then the 2 boys who currently share a room will be separating into two rooms...so that move will take a lot of time out of their afternoons while I am gone.  So, it might not be as bad I first thought.  We don't do school in the summer, but then when school starts, that will keep them busy.  My daughter (the oldest) has a part time job and also helps me at my work.  She busies herself with constructive projects....most of the time...and she is the oldest...so I have to give her the most freedom. (she will 18 in Sept. and will be a Senior in HS.)

Thanks for helping me sort this through.

[Aura]

ScreenTime is something I use for the kids' phones & Kindles. I don't think it works for laptops though.

I do remember seeing another similar program that worked for laptops and phones but not Kindles. I was thinking of getting it for my older two. It didn't have the tasks to earn screen time, but I remember it looked more suitable for older kids/teens. ScreenTime is great for my younger ones, but it's something I find that I don't use so often with my 13 yo, so it might not be the best choice for those older.

There are some good parental control apps that allow you to see what's going on, filter websites and such, and help establish some accountability. Maybe something like that? Where they're in charge of their time, but there are some safety rails in place to prevent wandering where they shouldn't be going, and you can see what they're up to and discuss with them it with them if you don't like what you see?

[Aura]

Qustodio was the app that I was looking at for my older kids/teens.

You might find this article that reviews parental control apps to be helpful. Qustodio is in this article, too.

[fairfarmhand]

I give my kids a list of things to do before they get on a screen. Not just chores but stuff like “write your uncle in turkey a letter.” Draw a picture of a bad dream. Build something with legos. Watch a YouTube educational video and text me what you learned. Walk the dog. Find an interesting insect and figure out its name. Some of these use computers but I feel they’re worthwhile uses. Often the kids get wrapped up in the project and spend a long time on them.