Janeway Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 She really was mean. A total blame the mom thing going on with her. She always has to blame someone for everything but not herself. In this episode she got so preachy and how she treated her mom was just wrong. Really like the fiance though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Kate could have told her mom "Remember that time I did not want to sing at the talent show? I heard you in the shower and you were - are - So GOOD!!! I have felt intimidated by your talent ever since" or something like that. Still not fun for the mom to hear, but without that explanation Kate sounds just too mean the way she talks to her mom. And the fiance is pretty great - I did not like, a few episodes back, when he was eating whatever in front of Kate, who was still dieting. He could have admitted to not dieting yet shown restraint when out with Kate. And I hate that little curlicue of hair on his forehead - just shave it off and acknowledge the more dignified baldness dude! But those are mere quibbles - overall Toby is awesome! Oh - the little actress playing child Kate is a heart breaker! She looks so much like one of my kids at that age! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 Yes, she blames everyone else for everything. If she doesn't sing well enough, it is because she saw her mom singing well. If she fails on her diet, it is because she saw Toby eating. and so on.....She is always going off on people and preaching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I found it pretty realistic to mother daughter relationships. Mom has no idea how she made her daughter feel. Daughter has never gotten therapy to deal with her feelings. So instead is stuck in a cycle of inadequacy with no idea how to have an honest conversation with mom. Kate needs therapy. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Yup - Kate needs therapy. I love Toby as well. What a great guy that really gets how to be a fiance. I think it would have been worse for him to lie about dieting and then eat and secret. He could have showed restraint while eating in front of her. But the reality is, the weight loss is her battle. The kid actors are all so good. Teen Kate is amazing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 While I agree that Kate could have benefited by good therapy years ago, her mother definitely DID set her up to feel like crap about herself when it came to both her favorite thing about herself (singing) and her least favorite (weight.) Her father did not. The idea that it could play out any other way before recognizing the need for therapy and gaining the access to it is just plain silly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I think Kate was a Daddy's girl and some (much?) of how she treats her mother is because she would rather blame her mom for what happened to her dad than to blame her dad. But there is definitely some mother/daughter dynamic going on there, too. I'm not saying Rebecca handled young Kate's weight well, but what mom knows how to do things the right way every time? I had four kids and I'm sure I screwed up a lot of things raising them. I'm not digging the new season. Kevin went from a sitcom screw up to having Ron Howard call him to offer a role? Stuff like that annoys me. And please give Miguel some personality. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 While I agree that Kate could have benefited by good therapy years ago, her mother definitely DID set her up to feel like crap about herself when it came to both her favorite thing about herself (singing) and her least favorite (weight.) Her father did not. The idea that it could play out any other way before recognizing the need for therapy and gaining the access to it is just plain silly. Mom, did set her up for failure. But, not on purpose. We all screw up our kids. I think mom was doing what she thought was the right thing at the time in regards to diet. I also believe she saw talent in her daughter and wanted to help her become great. Again, no idea how to do it. Attempts at being helpful met with resentment and teen angst. We are all damaged beings trying to do our best with where we are in our own development. Mom worked with the tools she had at the time. Unfortunately, it screws up our kids and our relationships with them. I think I identify with Kate because I spent a lot of years blaming/hating my mother for things that I now know were really not in my mothers control. To be honest, my path to a better relationship with my mother began the day my husband pointed out to me when we were newlyweds 25 years ago that I will forgive my father for anything and my mother for nothing. Totally not fair. But there it was. Therapy. Lots of therapy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 Mom, did set her up for failure. But, not on purpose. We all screw up our kids. Oh, I don't think it was on purpose, either. But "intent" is generally lost on kids, and I wouldn't expect them to miraculously find healthy coping mechanisms on their own. Kate is grating in her victim mentality, but not on purpose. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I’m finding it hard to like her. Everything is everyone else’s fault. Her mom was a great mom, but because Kate could not just open her mouth and be honest with her family or herself - well her mom’s existence caused her life to suck? Um. No. She made her own decisions and she chose to lie about the reasons to others and herself. So going off on people who haven’t a clue is just being mean. And yeah, by her age, I expect a grown adult to get a clue about their reality. Most people don’t need therapy to figure out that lying to everyone about their feelings and then blaming those people for not miraculously reading their mind about it is not reasonable way to deal with personal issues or relationships. I think Tobey is nice and handled it like a gentleman, but I figure it’s only a matter of time until she silently decides to blame him for something and decides she just can’t handle a relationship with him. Again. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I recently watched seasons one on Netflix. I admit I didn’t like the majority of the characters. It seemed like most needed to be told to grow up, and talk to each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I love the show. Let’s face it. People are damned annoying so that doesn’t make it less real to identify with. Kate probably wouldn’t annoy the heck out of me if I didn’t know real people like her. Same goes for all the characters. I’m getting annoyed with the suspense of how their dad died though. Kate said it was her fault. But it’s Kate, so who know if that’s even remotely accurate. It may or may not have involved alcohol and or a house fire. I’m almost more curious to know how she got with Miguel. I like him just as much as her husband. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I really had mixed feelings on that episode. As the always-chubby (ok, let's be honest, FAT) daughter of a thin, beautiful mother, I relate in a lot of ways to young Kate. I remember feeling that I would never measure up to my mother. And I do think in some ways she overcompensated with praise, etc. because of my weight. BUT -- And this is a big BUT (no pun intended :D ) -- grown-up me also knows that I, as a person who has always been fat, have always seen the world through my "fat-lens." Meaning that I assume others' behavior/feelings/etc. towards me are affected by my weight. I'm not talking about discrimination here, but normal everyday interactions with people I love and who love me. My weight is such an inextricable part of the way I see myself that I can't imagine it not being an integral part of the way others see me. I think this is something Kate has yet to learn. I hope she will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 "In time you will learn how to power through this kind of crowd"?!? And the daughter is the one in the wrong? It may be my own issues with my mom, but I thought the mom really was unkind and insensitive to say that! I would have been hurt too. I think that the only thing to say right then was "that was beautiful, I'm so proud of you." But I do agree that Kate needs therapy and often does misinterpret. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 "In time you will learn how to power through this kind of crowd"?!? And the daughter is the one in the wrong? It may be my own issues with my mom, but I thought the mom really was unkind and insensitive to say that! I would have been hurt too. I think that the only thing to say right then was "that was beautiful, I'm so proud of you." But I do agree that Kate needs therapy and often does misinterpret. If she had known how her daughter already felt, I would agree with you. But my interpretation was that her mother didn't know she was the cause of the upset just that something was off and thought maybe it was the crowds reception of her singing and was trying to encourage her to stick with it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 If she had known how her daughter already felt, I would agree with you. But my interpretation was that her mother didn't know she was the cause of the upset just that something was off and thought maybe it was the crowds reception of her singing and was trying to encourage her to stick with it. Yup. And remember, we have been shown little Kate's reactions to hearing her mom sing so powerfully in the shower, etc. so we know more than the Mom, too. Which may color many viewers initial views of the mom since we are privy to stuff she does not know. I think the older moms in the viewing audience will cut the Mom more slack than younger viewers, who may be Kate-ish themselves with their own mothers. Just wait until you grow up and have kids, whippersnappers! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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