imeverywoman Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 The opportunity has presented itself and I'm not comfortable with the idea. The family is like-minded and shares our same core values, but nevertheless, I'm not at peace. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. H. Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Nope. Not if ANYTHING in my being is saying 'no'. Those feelings are there for a reason, and you've never seen anyone who got into a bad situation as a child grow up and say, 'If only my mother had protected me less.' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Wouldn't if I had those feelings either. Did however let 10yodd go for 3 weeks to my own aunt and uncle in New Jersey. We went there as kids - I knew it was going to be awesome for her. She loved them, they loved her. She met so much family. My aunt home schooled her even!!! She came home with such improvment in reading!! But - this isn't family - and you sound so apprehensive. I seldom go against my gut. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 It depends on so much. The kid, the family, the vacation... I can actually see allowing my older one to do it (either with my parents or one -- maybe two -- of the families we know). A year ago, I couldn't have pictured it. And I frequently turn down sleep-over invitations from other families -- not because I don't think they're great parents, but it takes a lot for me to agree to that. But if I *totally* trusted the family, felt my child would be able to handle it and felt okay about the vacation, yes... Do you, by chance, live in the same place where you grew up and near family? The "out of state" part would barely be a blip on my radar -- much less of an issue than the two-weeks thing -- so I'm wondering if you're used to being "closer to home" than I am? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imeverywoman Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 Do you, by chance, live in the same place where you grew up and near family? The "out of state" part would barely be a blip on my radar -- much less of an issue than the two-weeks thing -- so I'm wondering if you're used to being "closer to home" than I am? No...I'm living in a different state. I do have my aged parents near me, but I dunno, abbey. Here. It's like this.... Two weeks is a long time to be with another family. What if they should tire of one another? Friends often get sick of one another after a day or two together. There will be camping, climbing, fishing, etc. I consider the fact that the boys could easily lose their bearings and I've heard one too many newstories of scouts lost in the mountains, never to be found alive again. The same holds true for boating accidents. I trust this family, because I know their moral compass, but that said, that is my boy, and I don't trust anyone. KWIM? I can't put this into anything that resembles an intelligent arguement, but I'm not 100% comfortable. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I can't put this into anything that resembles an intelligent arguement, but I'm not 100% comfortable. :confused: No, I think you did a pretty good job of explaining it. It sounds like you don't think your son is ready, and you're not sure that this family will have the high level of attention you believe is necessary on this kind of trip. Those reasons would certainly be sufficient for a "no" for me -- either one of them, and certainly both together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kdeno Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 plus, you are every woman and if you aren't comfortable, I am not comfortable :p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stirsmommy Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Well for what it is worth, I go on gut instincts. If for any reason I am iffy it is a no. That said I have let my kids go with grandparents when I wasn't happy about because I am an overprotective mom and I know it. But when it comes to non family if I don't feel good it just doesn't happen. Melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imeverywoman Posted February 14, 2008 Author Share Posted February 14, 2008 :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soph the vet Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 I would love to see all of my kids go out of the country at some point on mission trips, but that is a different ballgame. If you have reservations about it then don't do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 nt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenschooler Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Only because I felt comfortable. The times when I haven't, for whatever reason, I said no. No explanation necessary. There must be something that is the cause of your feeling to hold back, even if it's just that you think it's too much, too long, or too soon. Two weeks is a pretty long time. The trips my dds went on were for 1 to 1 1/2 weeks, and even that felt like a lifetime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Volty Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 For me it would depend on how much I trusted the person the child would be with. Generally, if I know the person well enough, I think a couple weeks spent camping would be a great idea and very welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Well, what is causing your uneasiness? IS there something about this family, is it your not wanting to let the go just because, do you not want someone else take responsibility for this child? I let my ds go with dh uncle for 2 weeks. They met once and had an instant bond and invited my son to visit him in Wisconsin so we let him. It was a great thing for my son for this uncle brought him to all the old family homesteads around Wisconsin and told him many a story's about the family history, (which my son loved) taught him to golf, and did so much sight seeing with him ds still talks about that 3 years later. It was such a growing experience for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 Well, I send all five of my sons up to Canada to a canoe camp for six weeks each summer to do wilderness canoe tripping. Last year my youngest went, at age 10. So, yes, I'd certainly allow a child to go away, lol. But your comfort factor plays a role here, as well as the age and gender of the child. Follow your gut. Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 If you're not comfortable with it, then an absolute NO. But, I would let one (or more) of my dc do this if I (and they) were comfortable with it. So, it would just depend on the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam "SFSOM" in TN Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 The opportunity has presented itself and I'm not comfortable with the idea. The family is like-minded and shares our same core values, but nevertheless, I'm not at peace. Thoughts? I would, in general, absolutely allow my kid to go. No hesitation. *Unless* I was for ANY reason uncomfortable. The reason would not have to be clear or articulated. Then I would listen to my gut and keep my kid home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plaid Dad Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 How old is the child? I probably wouldn't allow it at all for a child much under 15 or 16. After that age, I would agree only if (1) the child was responsible and reliable and (2) the vacation was with extended family members (grandparents, etc.) or (2) the hosts were "chosen family" - very, very close friends who know our family well and would uphold our standards for our child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tracey in TX Posted February 14, 2008 Share Posted February 14, 2008 DS was offered a summer-long trip to Italy with his BFF(who is from Roma). 7y/o is too long to be away for 3 months, plus I don't think his mom always uses good judgement for the safety of the children. It was an easy decision for us. We have sent our kiddos to a Christian week-long camp. While I knew it was a healthy environment, I was still ill-at-ease. Maybe b/c it was first time all my children were away from home for a week? Good luck, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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