Long distance Power of Attorney

[klmama]

An elderly relative in poor health has asked me to consider accepting power of attorney responsibilities, both medical and financial, in case the spouse is not able to take care of things. The problem is that I live several states away. While I'm pleased that my relative trusts me enough to suggest this, I don't think it's a realistic option. Is it even possible to do some of it from a distance? Or, as I suspect, would I need to be there for extended periods of time? I don't want to accept without understanding what would be involved.

 

ETA: If I declined, a relative who lives closer would be chosen.

Edited August 26, 2017 by klmama

[Carrie12345]

My mom is POA for my grandmother, nearly 1,000 miles apart.

We do have other relatives nearer to Grandma, but Mom still holds POA.  The process *was extra difficult with the distance, but I don't know the particulars.  Just the grumbling. ;-)

[Beth S]

My dh has been the POA for his folks, 500 miles away.  He handles all the bills (which becomes straightforward online), and we're working to prepare their house to sell, 150 miles away.  We've had this arrangement for about 6 months now.

 

My dh took on these tasks, while his brother is handling the medical and new housing.

Yes, it is a challenge, but it was the only way they could make it work.

The POA will allow you to do all kinds of things on their behalf.

 

Maybe the relative in close proximity will do the medical & housing, & you can do the finances.

Edited August 26, 2017 by Beth S

[MommyLiberty5013]

A bank will want to verify your identity as the POA (papers and your ID) before they will add you to an account as POA. The person (and any other account signers) needing you as POA will need to sign to add you. Technically, if online info is shared with you, you "could" just use bill pay. But if there's ever a problem and you're not listed on the account as POA the bank legally cannot even talk to you. It is very, very helpful to be added to accounts as the POA.

[Beth S]

Agreeing with MommyLiberty5013.  Dh had to go IN PERSON to each bank to get added to the accounts. 

 

He had checks made to include his name.

 

We had to mail in the POA to many of the companies that sent bills to his folks.

 

It was a huge hassle, esp. b/c his folks were having sudden short term memory loss, but thought they were operating normally.

 

For us, it continues to be a "surprise" nearly each day.  Many bills are paid semi-annually (like car insurance, Medicare supplemental insurance).

We're just taking it as it comes.

 

I'm just suggesting that your needy relative will likely need more than one supportive healthy relative to handle her needs.

 

 

[BusyMom5]

If there are closer relatives, I'd decline. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it would bd so much easier if the person taking care of her is nearby. That said, my grandparents are keeping my aunt on medical bc she's a nurse... but she will not ever be the one there in an emergency bc she lives farther away. This isn't practical IMO. The son who is AZ banker was financial... he literally cones down once a year and lives even further away. I think tgat will make it frustrating for rveryobe, the main person providing care would be the best choice and have the best idea what all us going on.

[Reefgazer]

I am POA for my mom (and was for my dad before he died), and we are 800 miles from my mom.  It allows you to take care of financial affairs, which is often easy to do with a POA far away.  Also, my mom has a secondary POA in case the primary cannot fulfill their duties (in our case, it's my sister).  Just get a secondary as a backup; your relative will have to decide if the secondary signs in addition to you, or instead of you when you cannot perform the task.

[Lanny]

The applicable laws vary, from state to state. You may need 2 different things. One being a "Power of Attorney" or whatever it is called in the state your relatives are in, and what was called a "Conservatorship" in California, which I had to get arranged by an Attorney there and approved by a Judge there, for Medical Decisions.  I cannot remember if there was a "Power of Attorney" or if the "Conservatorship" covered everything.  

 

It would be MUCH better if someone local to them can do this for them, because while you may be able to do Financial things from a long distance away, you will not be able to help them, if there is a Medical issue tomorrow, or a Medical Emergency, 10 days from now. Someone local needs to be able to help them if there are Medical issues, doctors appointments, etc.

 

Good luck to them!

[TechWife]

I held the financial POA for both of my parents long distance. I didn't have any issues that I would not have had locally. Quite frankly, it wasn't that hard. Administering the estate was more difficult, but again, not because of distance, but because of complexity. It just takes time to clear up the loose ends and to sell a house.

[klmama]

Thanks, everyone.  I appreciate the different viewpoints as I consider this.