boy and girl siblings sharing a room

[Elizabeth86]

How long is this ok? Just curious.

[Tanaqui]

There are a great many people in the US who grew up spending their entire childhood, until they left home, sharing with an opposite-sex sibling or cousin. There are many people worldwide who grew up sharing a bedroom with their entire family, for that matter!

 

If the kids are happy with the set-up, I wouldn't worry about it one bit.

 

With that said, I suspect most people in the US today, if they have a choice, would say that by puberty, this arrangement should be split up.

[Guest]

Our kids are doing it - oldest two girls are 9/10 and oldest boy is 6. I'd probably discontinue it when the oldest boy hit 10 or so, but that's more a space thing. In other cultures it's very common to have family communal bedrooms.

 

We will be separating out the kids again in our rental and when we build, but the single bedroom solution was a great choice for awhile.

[Um_2_4]

I know many families where the "babies" <4yo share one room with mom & dad, kids share one room and if too many, mattresses are laid out on the floor in the sitting room. Changing/Personal Care is done in the bathroom, usually on a schedule. 

In a family of 14, DH grew up unrolling his bed every night with his brothers on the living room floor with the couches pushed to the side.

[J-rap]

My oldest ds and dd shared a room until they were around 12.  Of course before then, they changed clothes privately.  

 

I think you just do what you have to do.

 

ALL my kids (mixed genders) slept together on our sleeping porch every summer through high school.  It was like one big slumber party every night!

 

[kewb]

These are the scenarios I see:
One bedroom available.  Share.

Both siblings are okay with the arrangement: Share. 

 

If space is not an issue I imagine someone will want privacy when puberty hits.

[carriede]

Oldest DS and DD shared a room for a bit. We split them when DS was 6 and DD was 4. But then we moved in other DS who was 2 at the time. So DD had her own room.

 

Then DS1 was born and shared a room with DH and I for most of his first year. Now he and DD share a room. We're currently house hunting for a 4 bedroom, so DD will have her own room whenever that happens.

 

I don't think there's a hard age... I do think compatibility issues should be considered regardless of gender. At some point, for me, puberty would ultimately dictate room assignments.

 

That said, I'm pretty sure DS1 would move in with the other boys by age 4 at the latest, even if all 3 had to be in one room. But I wouldn't be bothered if another person did differently.

[fairfarmhand]

My 12 yo girl and 9 yo boy share because there isn't anywhere else.

 

They change clothing privately.

 

MY dd tends to hang out in the room crafting, reading and playing. My son does little in there but sleep.

 

My 12 yo would LOVE to have him out, but there is nowhere else.

 

We're adding some space and it will end up with my 19 yo sharing with the 9 yo. She's hardly home anyway and doesn't use a bedroom for anything but sleeping ,so I think for a year or so till she gets an apartment, that's how we'll leave it. Then my 12 yo and 15 yo girls will both have their own rooms.

[Guest]

My 4&5 year old sleep in the same room because they're both afraid of the dark. We're okay with it as long as they are. They both have their own "rooms" decorated accordingly with beds in it, but we have an extra mattress in one for the other kid to crash on at night. They like it and it's allowed us to sleep through the night without having to do Monster Patrol. :) I figure when they're old enough to be done, they can go back to their own space. 

[LindaOz]

My ds shared with sisters until he was about 9 and then he moved into his own room when we shuffled things around. The sisters he was sharing with were all older than him and it became a little awkward for *them* to be sharing with a younger brother as they began to need a bit more privacy. He will still occasionally ask to bunk down on the floor in their big 'dorm' with them as he is the only person in the house with his own room.

Edited July 13, 2017 by LindaOz

[Hypatia.]

We're getting ready to make some room changes here. Right now I have my 3 boys in one room and my 3 girls in another, but the age differences with the youngest two are causing some issues. We're going to clean out the office (aka, "room of doom", "I don't know, just put it in the office for now" room) and move my 7 and 12 year old sons in there. Their old room, which is slightly larger, will be shared by 4 year old DS3 and 2 year old DD3, along with Thing 7 regardless of gender once s/he is about one. I'm hoping that by the time the younger three are old enough for puberty to be an issue with wanting more privacy that at least one of my older two will be in college and we can reshuffle as necessary.

 

I'm 11 years older than my brother and moved into the same house (with my dad and stepmom) when I was 14. We shared a room from the time I was 14 until I left for college at 17. It was difficult at times, but moreso because I didn't really feel like it was my home than because I was sharing with an opposite sex much younger sibling.

[Guest]

We went to separate bedrooms for the kids and mom on the couch when we lost our three bedroom in '03, so ds would have been 11, dd would have been 13, and no way would I have been comfortable putting them back in the same bedroom.

 

However, ds was friends with opposite gender twins who were sharing a room at 14. Dad had a huge home workshop, so I don't know what was up with that and I don't judge.

 

I believe there are guidelines for foster parents and "red flags" that might cause trouble in CPS investigtations, but that changes too often for old ladies like me to keep up with all the time. I kept my clothes in dd's room in case there was an issue with too many people and not enough bedrooms and I've heard of families where the youngest boy has a cot in the teenaged boy's room that belongs to him even though he really snuggles up between his sisters in "their" big bed with the pink fluffy comforter.

Edited July 13, 2017 by Guest

[Moonhawk]

Hmm. Right now all kids share 1 room. We have another bedroom, thats currently the TV room / activity room / sometimes school room / big project room. So technically they could be split up, and my oldest sometimes gets mad at her brothers and proclaims she wants her own. We did discuss it with them before the baby  (who still is in my room), but it would mean losing the TV. Everyone voted to keep it as is. 

 

Full disclosure is they spend one night a week with grandparents and visit them at least 4 times a week, and there they all have their own room, so maybe they don't see the need for private space here as much. 

 

But I hope to keep them like this another few years; I like the tv too, lol. 

 

My sisters' kids shared a room until boy was 15 and girl was 13; they had a 2bedroom house. When they moved to a 3br the kids split up. idk if there was a lot of internal strife or not.

[Katy]

I think 4.  DHS says 6.

[Guest]

Our branch of the military says, for housing purposes, 7. So if you have a boy and a girl, they assume they'll share a room and assign housing accordingly. When the youngest turns 7, or the oldest turns 14 whichever comes first, they'll start assigning you a third bedroom.

 

That's on paper. In reality most new housing is private and usually built with minimum 3beds any way. Plus if you're in a busy housing area, living in a hotel waiting for house to open up, you can opt for a smaller house than you qualify for.