What does Simple/Intentional Living mean to you?

[Cindy in FL.]

Personally, I don't have any problem with people enjoying the fruits of their labor and the blessing of a good financial situation. I think your dh (with your help and support) has put in the time and effort to build a successful business, and you are rightly benefitting from that as a family. Over the years on this board you have proven yourself to be a kind, encouraging, generous person. You seem to value your relationships with your dh, ds, family, friends, and fellow boardies. Never have I gotten the impression that you think you are better than those in a lesser financial position or that you are trying to impress. Nor do I think that there is any shame in having money and spending it on things you want and enjoy. You just don't strike me as a selfish person, hoarding her wealth.

 

Also, your financial position enabled you to buy a house near the hospital where your dh could get the best treatment and you could be together as a family. I think that is a huge blessing, and one for which you have expressed gratitude.

 

I'm not sure why you "edited" my post to change it to "a lot of superfluous" possessions. :confused:

 

I think I'm missing something because that makes no sense to me. If people like and enjoy the things they buy, why would you judge those possessions as being "superfluous?"

 

I'm sure there are plenty of people who live minimalistically who aren't particularly intentional about their time, their relationships, or their self-care, so I don't get your point.

 

Living minimalistically does not make anyone a better person than anyone else. It simply means that the person has made some different lifestyle choices.

 

Different. Not better, not worse. Just different.

Edited May 3, 2017 by Cindy in FL.

[SamanthaCarter]

I once thought it was a place I would arrive at after decluttering and being particular about commitments, etc. Now I feel that it's all of these things and more.

I was personally pursuing this lifestyle for selfish reasons [emoji53].

I now see it as a spectrum. The number of items aren't as important as how *i* live out my days.

Just my musings as I think I've nearly purged my home!

I think it's about contentment with the material possessions you have and the choices you've made without becoming so reticent that you don't pursue improvement. How's that for paradox?

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Catwoman]

Personally, I don't have any problem with people enjoying the fruits of their labor and the blessing of a good financial situation. I think your dh (with your help and support) has put in the time and effort to build a successful business, and you are rightly benefitting from that as a family. Over the years on this board you have proven yourself to be a kind, encouraging, generous person. You seem to value your relationships with your dh, ds, family, friends, and fellow boardies. Never have I gotten the impression that you think you are better than those in a lesser financial position or that you are trying to impress. Nor do I think that there is any shame in having money and spending it on things you want and enjoy. You just don't strike me as a selfish person, hoarding her wealth.

 

Also, your financial position enabled you to buy a house near the hospital where your dh could get the best treatment and you could be together as a family. I think that is a huge blessing, and one for which you have expressed gratitude.

 

 

Thank you so much, Cindy -- it was so sweet of you to say that and I really appreciate it!

[Catwoman]

I edited the post because it was MY quote about "possessions being the least of it" originally, and it better reflected what I meant.

 

NM the rest

Thanks for the clarification -- I hadn't realized you were doing that, and it appears that unsinkable didn't, either. (Thanks for the support, unsinkable! :) )

 

It seemed like you were changing the meaning of what I was saying because I don't necessarily consider possessions to be "superfluous," so I was confused about why you changed my post instead of just responding to it.

 

No problem, though -- I understand now. :)

Edited May 3, 2017 by Catwoman

[Crimson Wife]

i'm seeing the current trend of minimalism as strictly an aesthetic. it's not about living simply, or having less. it's about having great storage, and lots of wide open, largely unfurnished space. no visible possessions, lots of rich, bare woods, and an abundance of white paint with no adornment. 

 

in that sense, minimalism is definitely for the wealthy. the ability to live in such a way that it appears no one is living in the space at all. humanity sacrificed for cleanliness.

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

This is what I was trying to get at with it being a "status symbol" these days rather than reflecting a true desire to be a wise steward of resources (both financial and Earth's).

[Desert Strawberry]

 

 

Honestly, a person hasn't really risen in economic status if she's carrying a knock-off version of a designer bag, so I would assume that most people would consider that person to be a phony and not be impressed with her posing as being something she's not.

 

i agree with most of your post. i'm definitely not bothered by people showing off their cool stuff. whatever. i have been known to show off something that makes me happy. 

 

this quote though, i'm going to have to disagree. there are some deep levels of lower class where owning any bag at all would an accomplishment. handbags are not a necessity. to be able to choose a knock off designer bag is to have the buying power to choose your own style, rather have no option than to pick something at the neighborhood dollar general like everyone else. 

 

in the neighborhood where i lived, it was not unusual to see multiple people on the street wearing identical outfits, because they all came from the same store within walking distance, and the quality was so poor that they did not last through the season. to be able to buy at walmart-all the way across town- was a big deal. is that a socio-economic move? yes. a small one, for sure, but it counts when that's where you are. 

[Desert Strawberry]

i would like clarify for myself personally. i did not discover simple living and minimalism and set it as a goal. this is just my nature.

 

i don't like clutter. i don't like having excess possessions. i hate shopping. i am extremely frugal and practical. i am happier with less. 

 

i just want a nice, simple, quiet, happy little life. i didn't grow up that way. ambition was a virtue, and i was frequently chastised for not having enough. 

 

d and i often say, 'the things you own, own you.' that is our feeling and experience. not because we aspire to it, but because that's how we feel. 

 

i think there is some feeling that those who like thier posessions are being shamed. that's not the case at all. it's important to have things. a home, furnishings, clothing, cookware, food, entertainment. all necessary. the problem i see is in excessive possessions. shopping for the fun of shopping rather than for needed items which will be enjoyed. imo buying things you have no use for is short-sighted and wasteful. what's the point in stockpiling clothes you will never wear into an already overstuffed closet? those things are not improving your life, and are in fact making your space less enjoyable and less useful. 

 

i don't judge people for doing what they like to do. i may not understand it, but whatever. it's not my business. i know a lot of people judge me for living an oversimplified life. my house could be a lot prettier. my clothes could be more flattering. my life isn't for everyone. it's just for me. 

 

interestingly, it's this board that really brought the minimalist aspect to light for me. everyone talks about all things they have bought and not used. i have only done that once. lesson learned. i used to feel bad that we didn't have all the shiny new curriculum with bells and whistles. but when i looked at it, i didn't want it. we have a bigger budget than ever before, and i'm spending almost nothing. and we are so happy! for me, for us, it's simple things that work best. free online games, khan academy, starfall, ray's arithmetic, progressive phonics -just the books, not the printables, basic journaling, lots of library visits. we have never had more available and never been happier. all basic, simple, free. 

 

those minimalist challenges that go around? i've done them. the bunker challenge? we live in a bunker in the desert.we can leave, but we can also not leave for weeks at a time.  the foot locker challenge? when we moved, i packed all of our school stuff into a small rubbermaid box. much smaller than a foot locker. when we actually made the drive, everything we were using fit in a small tote bag. even now, all of our school fits on a single bookshelf, with room to spare. 

 

is this virtuous? no. not really. it's just how we do it. it makes my life easier. it makes my kids happy. it saves us money. it reduces our stress and gives us more time for fun. and that is all good. 

 

but no one else has to live that way i do. now, if people complain about their clutter and their wasted money, and their wasted energy...yeah. i'm not sure i can sympathize. 

[Guest]

i agree with most of your post. i'm definitely not bothered by people showing off their cool stuff. whatever. i have been known to show off something that makes me happy.

 

this quote though, i'm going to have to disagree. there are some deep levels of lower class where owning any bag at all would an accomplishment. handbags are not a necessity. to be able to choose a knock off designer bag is to have the buying power to choose your own style, rather have no option than to pick something at the neighborhood dollar general like everyone else.

 

in the neighborhood where i lived, it was not unusual to see multiple people on the street wearing identical outfits, because they all came from the same store within walking distance, and the quality was so poor that they did not last through the season. to be able to buy at walmart-all the way across town- was a big deal. is that a socio-economic move? yes. a small one, for sure, but it counts when that's where you are.

Oh god, yes.

 

I've known many many people that used a grocery bag if they needed to carry something, and a trash bag if they needed to carry something bigger.

 

Even People above that $level, though... I don't think people are phonies when they show something off, I just think they like whatever it is a lot.

 

I was just telling my friends about my sweet new laundry clips. I feel very enthusiastic about it. Same deal with a new haircut, new car, new whatever, including knock off bags.

 

If someone bought something I very much want for them to enjoy it!!

[Bluegoat]

Oh god, yes.

 

I've known many many people that used a grocery bag if they needed to carry something, and a trash bag if they needed to carry something bigger.

 

Even People above that $level, though... I don't think people are phonies when they show something off, I just think they like whatever it is a lot.

 

I was just telling my friends about my sweet new laundry clips. I feel very enthusiastic about it. Same deal with a new haircut, new car, new whatever, including knock off bags.

 

If someone bought something I very much want for them to enjoy it!!

 

It seems to me there is something a little different with what you are describing.  I've showed off my laundry clips as well, because I was so tickled with them, and they work so well, I want to share the news.

 

In some cases, (since the clips were a gift) I might be excited to have made a great find of something, like an amazing vase I found at the second-hand store.  Kind of a good hunting story.

 

But that seems a little different than buying them so that Mrs. Laundrybags next door would think I'm all that.  More of a keeping up with the Joneses thing.

[mlktwins]

 

I was just telling my friends about my sweet new laundry clips.

 

I must ask -- what are these sweet new laundry clips you speak of???

[Guest]

It seems to me there is something a little different with what you are describing. I've showed off my laundry clips as well, because I was so tickled with them, and they work so well, I want to share the news.

 

In some cases, (since the clips were a gift) I might be excited to have made a great find of something, like an amazing vase I found at the second-hand store. Kind of a good hunting story.

 

But that seems a little different than buying them so that Mrs. Laundrybags next door would think I'm all that. More of a keeping up with the Joneses thing.

I totally hear what you're saying, but I dunno. Why is going to to toe with Mrs. Laundrybags a lesser motivator than anything else?

 

I know why it is for ME personally, but that has to do with centering my life around God....and one thing I absolutely try not to do is measure ppl with my ruler, especially the one stamped GOD ykwim? So, while I might not want to hang out with them all the time because our values are very different, why should the keeping up with Laundrybags motivation matter to me than anything else?

 

 

Loving the Laundrybags example haha.

 

These are my clips!

 

Extreme Clothespins - Stainless Steel - 20 Pack - Lifetime Guarantee https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HTSI7RY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_yU2czbK29RZJJ

 

Plus, I'm thinking of someone like my mom... There's something about her that feels over the top and she very much likes to have newer, cooler clothes and stuff like that... But she has the biggest heart and she is almost insufferably accepting of everyone she's ever met in her life. She definitely does "like things" in a way that some ppl don't like. But she's the opposite of phony.

[Bluegoat]

I totally hear what you're saying, but I dunno. Why is going to to toe with Mrs. Laundrybags a lesser motivator than anything else?

 

I know why it is for ME personally, but that has to do with centering my life around God....and one thing I absolutely try not to do is measure ppl with my ruler, especially the one stamped GOD ykwim? So, while I might not want to hang out with them all the time because our values are very different, why should the keeping up with Laundrybags motivation matter to me than anything else?

 

 

Loving the Laundrybags example haha.

 

These are my clips!

 

Extreme Clothespins - Stainless Steel - 20 Pack - Lifetime Guarantee https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HTSI7RY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_yU2czbK29RZJJ

 

Plus, I'm thinking of someone like my mom... There's something about her that feels over the top and she very much likes to have newer, cooler clothes and stuff like that... But she has the biggest heart and she is almost insufferably accepting of everyone she's ever met in her life. She definitely does "like things" in a way that some ppl don't like. But she's the opposite of phony.

 

Those are the same pins I have - they are great.

 

I guess I don't think that identifying certain ways of thinking as unhealthy is the same as being judgmental.  In a way I think that is beside the point, unless you are pointing to a particular individual.  If I say smoking is unhealthy, and also not great for the people around you, I don't see that as judgmental either, I'm not particularly saying anything about individuals.

 

For some things, of course, it may be bad for you but fine for other people. 

 

But there are mental states and beliefs that are simply bad for people.  Take interest in your physical appearance.  To a certain extent, care in this area is usually a sign of being mentally healthy, and people with mental illnesses are the ones who start to neglect it.  But it can go the other way too, and it's really inclined to in a consumer society, because we are conditioned all the time to treat appearance as a consumer product and something to be competitive about. 

 

When it becomes about impressing others, there are a few features that I think are particularly worrying - one is that it is comparative, so it means you have to have other people below you for it to work.  A second is that it is potentially infinite - there never comes a time when you are top of the heap, so it will tend to lead to unhappiness.  And also, I think it is really making your contentment with your place in the world very much dependent on things outside your own control.

 

The other issue that bothers me about this is that consumption has an environmental impact, and the consumer society has had a huge, detrimental impact on nature and also on other people.  Satisfaction through purchasing is a feeling most people in a consumer society are familiar with, we're encouraged to satisfy it all the time and make it as close to infinite as possible.  Well, billions of people with near-infinite appetites is not something that is just a personal choice.  I think it's something we have to be really conscious about.  And while I would not want to encourage distain for the material world, or stop having beautiful things made, or simple pleasures, I think everyone needs to look really hard at the consumer choices they are making. 

 

The everlasting clothes pins are a good purchase, IMO, they are a necessary product and one that will last a long time.  On the other hand, buying new, trendy laundry pins just to impress Mrs. Laudrybags is not going to lead to substantial happiness and is a waste of resources.

[Guest]

Those are the same pins I have - they are great.

 

I guess I don't think that identifying certain ways of thinking as unhealthy is the same as being judgmental. In a way I think that is beside the point, unless you are pointing to a particular individual. If I say smoking is unhealthy, and also not great for the people around you, I don't see that as judgmental either, I'm not particularly saying anything about individuals.

 

For some things, of course, it may be bad for you but fine for other people.

 

But there are mental states and beliefs that are simply bad for people. Take interest in your physical appearance. To a certain extent, care in this area is usually a sign of being mentally healthy, and people with mental illnesses are the ones who start to neglect it. But it can go the other way too, and it's really inclined to in a consumer society, because we are conditioned all the time to treat appearance as a consumer product and something to be competitive about.

 

When it becomes about impressing others, there are a few features that I think are particularly worrying - one is that it is comparative, so it means you have to have other people below you for it to work. A second is that it is potentially infinite - there never comes a time when you are top of the heap, so it will tend to lead to unhappiness. And also, I think it is really making your contentment with your place in the world very much dependent on things outside your own control.

 

The other issue that bothers me about this is that consumption has an environmental impact, and the consumer society has had a huge, detrimental impact on nature and also on other people. Satisfaction through purchasing is a feeling most people in a consumer society are familiar with, we're encouraged to satisfy it all the time and make it as close to infinite as possible. Well, billions of people with near-infinite appetites is not something that is just a personal choice. I think it's something we have to be really conscious about. And while I would not want to encourage distain for the material world, or stop having beautiful things made, or simple pleasures, I think everyone needs to look really hard at the consumer choices they are making.

 

The everlasting clothes pins are a good purchase, IMO, they are a necessary product and one that will last a long time. On the other hand, buying new, trendy laundry pins just to impress Mrs. Laudrybags is not going to lead to substantial happiness and is a waste of resources.

The thing is, I completely agree with everything you've written here.

 

But I can't bring myself to get worked up over it, I guess, for two reasons. First, I've already bred over the replacement rate for DH and I (and I think ppl who want to should have all the kids they feel up to raising), so the pot+kettle thing comes into play for me re: limited resources.

 

Most pressingly, though, I think _all_ the other steps along the way to a decimated planet are both more responsible for it, and more ethically egregious, than the one​ at the point-of-sale, so that's where my condemnation goes and where I concentrate my..uh.. diagnosis of societal un-health irt consumerism.

 

ETA I'm not saying you are worked up. I'm just saying I'm not 😄

Edited May 4, 2017 by OKBud

[Bluegoat]

The thing is, I completely agree with everything you've written here.

 

But I can't bring myself to get worked up over it, I guess, for two reasons. First, I've already bred over the replacement rate for DH and I (and I think ppl who want to should have all the kids they feel up to raising), so the pot+kettle thing comes into play for me re: limited resources.

 

Most pressingly, though, I think _all_ the other steps along the way to a decimated planet are both more responsible for it, and more ethically egregious, than the one​ at the point-of-sale, so that's where my condemnation goes and where I concentrate my..uh.. diagnosis of societal un-health irt consumerism.

 

ETA I'm not saying you are worked up. I'm just saying I'm not 😄

 

Ah well, I don't really think I'm worked up either.  I thought we were having an abstract discussion about the idea of minimalism and simple living.  I don't see this as a personal discussion, but consumerism is, IMO, an important topic. Mainly because it is about our mental attitude.

 

 

Edited May 4, 2017 by Bluegoat

[Catwoman]

I never hang my laundry to dry, so is it wrong that I just put a package of those clothespins in my Amazon cart?

 

Clearly, I'm one of those conspicuous consumer types. ;)

 

On the other hand, I don't know anyone who would be impressed that I have clothespins (even really cool ones!) so at least I'm not trying to show off to the neighbors, right? :D

 

Okbud, are the clips fairly strong and springy? I need some tiny-but-strong clamps for craft stuff and I'm thinking the ones you linked could be the perfect size.

[Guest]

Ah well, I don't really think I'm worked up either. I thought we were having an abstract discussion about the idea of minimalism and simple living. I don't see this as a personal discussion, but consumerism is, IMO, an important topic. Mainly because it is about our mental attitude.

I anticipated this with my eta lol

[Crimson Wife]

 

The other issue that bothers me about this is that consumption has an environmental impact, and the consumer society has had a huge, detrimental impact on nature and also on other people.  Satisfaction through purchasing is a feeling most people in a consumer society are familiar with, we're encouraged to satisfy it all the time and make it as close to infinite as possible.  Well, billions of people with near-infinite appetites is not something that is just a personal choice.  I think it's something we have to be really conscious about. 

 

OTOH, the consumer society has also led to a major decrease in extreme poverty worldwide in recent decades. My great-grandma was a mill girl in the late 19th century. Conditions in those mills were absolutely deplorable and I'm glad this country took action to protect workers. But being a mill girl, even under the awful conditions at the time, was a real step up from the kind of subsistence farming her family practiced. The same is true today in the developing world.

 

I think liberals in America very much overromanticize pre-industrial agrarian societies.

 

Yes, of course we need to be concerned with the environmental impact of our consumer choices. But we also need to be concerned with the impact on poverty. We need to look for creative "win-win" solutions rather than viewing all consumption as an evil that should be minimized as much as possible.

 

[Guest]

OTOH, the consumer society has also led to a major decrease in extreme poverty worldwide in recent decades. My great-grandma was a mill girl in the late 19th century. Conditions in those mills were absolutely deplorable and I'm glad this country took action to protect workers. But being a mill girl, even under the awful conditions at the time, was a real step up from the kind of subsistence farming her family practiced. The same is true today in the developing world.

 

I think liberals in America very much overromanticize pre-industrial agrarian societies.

 

Yes, of course we need to be concerned with the environmental impact of our consumer choices. But we also need to be concerned with the impact on poverty. We need to look for creative "win-win" solutions rather than viewing all consumption as an evil that should be minimized as much as possible.

 

Why throw "liberals" under the bus as if "conservatives" DONT over romantsize pre-industrial agrarian life?

 

And there does reach a tipping point past which earth just isn't going to have anything left for us.

[Crimson Wife]

Why throw "liberals" under the bus as if "conservatives" DONT over romantsize pre-industrial agrarian life?

 

Conservatives are very pro-business (often too much so).

 

There needs to be a "happy medium" between the knee-jerk "what's good for business is good for America" unbridled capitalism of the right and the "caring more about trees than people" anti-capitalism of the left.

[LucyStoner]

Eh, I think it's the same coin as overconsumption, just the other side. Frankly the people I know who are the most vocal about it tend to have quite a lot in common with the people I know who are exceedingly brand conscious and very into "expensive for expensive's sake". It's about status and impressing others. Instead of "see how large my house is", it's "see how small my house is". Thing being I don't care one way or the other.

Edited May 4, 2017 by LucyStoner

[Bluegoat]

OTOH, the consumer society has also led to a major decrease in extreme poverty worldwide in recent decades. My great-grandma was a mill girl in the late 19th century. Conditions in those mills were absolutely deplorable and I'm glad this country took action to protect workers. But being a mill girl, even under the awful conditions at the time, was a real step up from the kind of subsistence farming her family practiced. The same is true today in the developing world.

 

I think liberals in America very much overromanticize pre-industrial agrarian societies.

 

Yes, of course we need to be concerned with the environmental impact of our consumer choices. But we also need to be concerned with the impact on poverty. We need to look for creative "win-win" solutions rather than viewing all consumption as an evil that should be minimized as much as possible.

 

 

Poverty wasn't eradicated because of consumerism.  Nor even really by capitalism.  The poverty in the industrial revolution was rarely about not having enough for all, it was about unequal distribution.  This si also true today in many developing nations - there often is a huge gap between the rich and poor.

 

If we keep consuming at the rate we are now, the wealth of the 20/21st centuries is going to be a flash in the pan.

[Carol in Cal.]

 

 

this quote though, i'm going to have to disagree. there are some deep levels of lower class where owning any bag at all would an accomplishment. handbags are not a necessity. to be able to choose a knock off designer bag is to have the buying power to choose your own style, rather have no option than to pick something at the neighborhood dollar general like everyone else. 

 

This.

 

It was really interesting to read the critique in Hillbilly Elegy of a Christmas shopping list for charity.  Pajamas?  Not necessary.  Not common.  Not what people would really want to get.  Etc.

[HS Mom in NC]

I'm living a more and more minimalist lifestyle over the last 5 years or so and love it. For me, less is more.
We're debt free now and learned our lesson.  We're not going back.  The peace of mind is worth it!

I gained almost 30 pounds over the last 3 years and I've cut junk and processed foods from my diet and I'm down 12 pounds. That means changing my wardrobe again. Since I needed clothes for the interim, I researched minimalist/travel wardrobe online and I'm hooked.  Everything works with everything and I wear most of it (we only have 2 seasons here) in heavy rotation.  This is how my goal weight wardrobe is going to be too. I love a simple, classic, modern style which really works with minimalism because I'm not into the latest trends.  I don't really care about coordinating each outfit every day.  I love that I can close my eyes, grab a top and bottom and look put together because when I do my shopping I think strategically over all so I don't have to think strategically every day. Because I'm buying far fewer items I can opt for a more expensive item, but I don't always.  I buy discount often.

I love utility and negative (meaning empty) visual space anyway, so it works for me. I don't have to look at useless, meaningless things I pointlessly spent money on.  Now someone else can use them and enjoy them, so win-win. I like having less stuff around so it's much easier to buy things with discernment because I don't feel the need to fill my space visually.  I haven't had to replace anything yet.

Lately I've been buying things that contribute to experiences that I've always wanted like my kayaks, day packs, hiking boots, and such. I've always wanted to learn to cook healthier meals, so I bought some cookbooks that I really researched and everyone at home is happy with the change too. 

I've had an ongoing English paper pieced hand quilting king sized project that will take years and go on my own bed.  I've enjoyed every step of the process: pattern and fabric selection, fussy cutting with templates, using my design board to change the mosaic design a dozen times, hand piecing while I travel, watch TV, watch family play games (I'm no gamer)and I might even take a year or two to hand quilt it or I may pay a pro. We'll see. It's the kind I've always wanted in my favorite colors.  The few unfinished projects I had I got rid of because I really thought about it and realized I just didn't care about them or enjoy them.  I consider them an opportunity I had to know myself better, so they weren't a waste, but I didn't finish them.

I have 2 wedding quilts to make in the next couple of years before mine is done and I'm not taking on other craft projects.  Those are my craft projects for the next several years and I'm fine with that because they're meaningful to me and they'll give me joy.

I got rid of 1/3 of my books because I'm evolving and have other interests now.  I read them, enjoyed them and now I'm done with them.  Someone else can enjoy them now. I don't need a monument to what used to interest me and I enjoy a less cluttered aesthetic, so again, win-win. 

My youngest and I are butting heads because we're alike in many ways.  I enrolled her in the homeschool enrichment program 2 days a week at a ps in the area that only does extra curriculars. It always starts and ends on time and the teachers don't flake out on me.  I signed her up with Mathnasium because I hate teaching math and she wasn't doing well with me anyway.  Now I only teach the subjects I want to: Language Arts, Logic, History and Science three (longer) days a week.  The days off I cook more elaborate nutritious meals from mostly scratch and bulk cook sometimes. I really enjoy that.  On homeschooling days I cook quicker, simpler nutritious meals from mostly scratch.

[LucyStoner]

This.

 

It was really interesting to read the critique in Hillbilly Elegy of a Christmas shopping list for charity. Pajamas? Not necessary. Not common. Not what people would really want to get. Etc.

My mom's family has deep roots in Kentucky and there are MANY similarities between my family and how he describes his family. We listened to it on audible. When he said his grandmother tried to set his grandfather on fire, my husband was shocked/disturbed/floored and I was close to laughing because there is a very similar tale about my grandmother. Deep generational poverty. Anyways, I was nodding about what he said about the PJs but I was also wincing. Because if my sons wanna piss me off, a great way to do so is to refuse to wear pajamas. I guess that's my newly minted money equivalent of a handbag splurge. It's like my line in the sand. I'm totally irrational about it. And it's because I coveted pjs and slippers and such as a child. Edited May 6, 2017 by LucyStoner

[MamaBearTeacher]

I did not grow up poor but I remember for many years as a child carrying my books to school in a plastic grocery bag. I stored toys in old shoe and Kleenex boxes. That would be unheard of today. There is a product for everything. All that plasticky stuff we buy will end up going to the landfill and this is not sustainable.

 

When I picture a minimalist I see a young single guy living in a Manhattan apartment with everything on his computer and a few pairs of pants and shirts that he has drycleaned every week. What will happen when he has a family in a few years? Will he continue living this way? Probably not.

[momacacia]

To the OP: sometimes it's okay to be "selfish." Pursuing a certain lifestyle can be about self-care. If it creates healthy boundaries, freedom and more time/energy for important things (including you), that's not selfish.

[momacacia]

I now routinely comment how my parents did not have to contend with Wal-Mart, Target and all the possible events and activities that our generation kids could be involved in.

 

Granted, my parents had 1 kid in their house and I have 4, but each of my kids has more stuff than I had at any given time. Much of it is one side of the family keep given toys that are large (physically), and a gift for every holiday, and the crafts that one of mine loves...just stuff. I can't keep it all or save it all. My mom never contended with this and my parents were very comfortable and my one grandma very generous with us (and my mom is not a big declutterer). Idk, it's something I want to find balance in because I'm tired of spending time and energy on stuff that wasn't my choosing to bring into my home anyway...privileged or not. ;)