Just Kate Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) My sil (dh's sister) is hospitalized and having valve replacement surgery for the second time in two months. She has a horrible bacterial infection and the doctors are trying to treat it so they can do the surgery. SIL isn't married and will be relying on her 70+ year old parents to help care for her (my in-laws). Family lives 16 hours away from us, so we can't go visit or help out. I'd like to send SIL some small "thinking of you" gifts. I'd also like to send something to my in-laws. Any thoughts? SIL loves animals and all things nature. She is 50 yo. ETA: SIL has led a pretty hard life and deals with depression. Maybe an uplifting book (could be Christian...doesn't have to be)? Edited February 12, 2017 by Just Kate Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 A build a Bear or other plushie? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TarynB Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 How about a plushy, warm blanket for her hospital bed? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wendy not in HI Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 A coloring book and markers. Lotion. A magazine. A puzzle book. Yarn and needles if she knits. Fluffy socks. An eye mask. Sounds like a really scary time for her. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Gift certificates for food for both your sil and her parents, like for pizza or something. Does she have a network of friends/church who will be helping with meals will she recovers? A soft blanket that was mentioned above is a good idea. She may not have much energy to do much but rest afterwards. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted February 12, 2017 Author Share Posted February 12, 2017 A blanket is a great idea! Maybe a coloring book and pencils too. Sadly, SIL doesn't have a big support system. No church and not many healthy people in her life. She does have an adult daughter (age 23) who helps out some. My MIL is doing the bulk of the work. FIL is on oxygen 24/7 and just can't do an much as he used to. The hospital is about an hour away for MIL and it's huge (The Mayo Clinic). It's just so much on MIL. I really do wish I was in a position to just go and help. But I'm not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 I'm so sorry to hear about your SIL, but am encouraged that she is at such an excellent hospital. I wish your MIL wasn't so far away -- can she stay in one of the hotels near the hospital that offer free shuttle service so she doesn't have to drive so much? I like the ideas of sending her a soft blanket (you can even get very nice ones at Walmart,) and I saw some very nice markers, gel pens, colored pencil sets, and coloring books at Michael's tonight, and I recently bought a big set of gel pens at Costco that came with a nice stand for only $19.99. (I'm trying to think of some budget-friendly items so you can send a bigger care package! :)) In case you're not a regular craft store shopper, you should know that Michael's, Hobby Lobby, and JoAnn have 40% off coupons just about every week and they sometimes have 50% or 60% off a single item, so if you go with a friend or family member, you can each use a coupon. You can get the coupons on the stores' websites. Here's a link to the pens I got at my local Costco: https://www.costco.com/Gelwriter-Premium-Gel-Pens-with-Stadium-Stand%2c-100ct.product.100292291.html 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Just Kate,I am sorry to hear this. Wow that is a tough one,is it Bacterial endocardistis? I know her arms are going to be bruised from all the iv's and she may or may not have strength to do much. Fatigue is huge as well. Food for inlaws or gift certificates for food places esp for Fil who is home? Is sil eating? Plushie/blanket good ideas.Is there a way to prepay for parking?Not all places provide free parking for patients family. So if this is a 2nd surgery did they replace the valve once already and it got reinfected? Did they put in a pig valve?sorry for the questions. If you need more info/support etc please feel free to ping me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Gas card or cash for in-laws to help with the extra expenses. Our children's hospital where I've had to be with dd a few times has a Starbucks in it. I always thought that if I knew someone who had to be up there (hasn't happened yet), I would be giving the parents a Starbucks gift card. For SIL, some nice comfy socks and a fluff magazine (like People). Maybe a food treat if allowed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artichoke Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) How about a nice unscented or lightly scented hand/body lotion? As pp suggested adult coloring books are relaxing as are warm, fluffy throws and socks. for the in-laws, I'd send a practical gift such as gas cards or food gift cards. If they're on a fixed income, I'd just send cash with a note to let them know you just want to help out. Depending on the relationship with SIL, I'd also let them know we sent something to the in-laws. It may help her feel better about relying so heavily on them Whatever you do, it's wonderful that you're doing it. Best wishes! Edited February 12, 2017 by Artichoke 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted February 12, 2017 Author Share Posted February 12, 2017 Just Kate,I am sorry to hear this. Wow that is a tough one,is it Bacterial endocardistis? I know her arms are going to be bruised from all the iv's and she may or may not have strength to do much. Fatigue is huge as well. Food for inlaws or gift certificates for food places esp for Fil who is home? Is sil eating? Plushie/blanket good ideas.Is there a way to prepay for parking?Not all places provide free parking for patients family. So if this is a 2nd surgery did they replace the valve once already and it got reinfected? Did they put in a pig valve?sorry for the questions. If you need more info/support etc please feel free to ping me. You're exactly right...she has bacterial endocarditis. She had her first surgery on December 14. The valve was replaced at that time with a mechanical valve. The surgeon at the Mayo Clinic said it was the worst valve he had ever seen. Ten days ago (approximately) she let MIL know how poorly she was feeling and finally allowed MIL to take her to the ER. This is when the endocarditis was diagnosed and they told her she needed to have her valve replaced again. Just learned today that she has had a slight stroke. They are planning to redo the surgery tomorrow (that is current plan but things seem to change quickly). I don't believe SIL is eating well. She is very down...like I said, she's had a hard life. She has dealt with depression since adolescence and married a crappy guy (I mean, beyond crappy). He left her and it broke her heart. She's just always struggled, financially and emotionally. So of course this surgery just feels like another thing that hasn't worked out for her. The whole thing is just heartbreaking. I may send you a PM in the morning as I do have more questions. Thank you!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Wow, it sounds like your poor SIL has been through so much. :( I'm very sorry to hear that her health problems are so serious, and I think anyone would be feeling down and discouraged in her situation, but it must be so much worse for her because of her existing depresssion combined with her emotional sadness and her financial worries. Thank goodness she still has her parents and her dd to help her. I don't know if she's religious at all, but if it's okay I'll say some prayers for her. I hope her surgery is a complete success and that she has an easy recovery. It sounds like she really deserves to have things start going right for her. I'm sorry you're not able to be there because it's so hard to be the one sitting and wait for news and jumping every time the phone rings. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted February 12, 2017 Author Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) Wow, it sounds like your poor SIL has been through so much. :( I'm very sorry to hear that her health problems are so serious, and I think anyone would be feeling down and discouraged in her situation, but it must be so much worse for her because of her existing depresssion combined with her emotional sadness and her financial worries. Thank goodness she still has her parents and her dd to help her. I don't know if she's religious at all, but if it's okay I'll say some prayers for her. I hope her surgery is a complete success and that she has an easy recovery. It sounds like she really deserves to have things start going right for her. I'm sorry you're not able to be there because it's so hard to be the one sitting and wait for news and jumping every time the phone rings. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Thanks so much, Catwoman. SIL is definitely open to prayers, so thank you for praying for her. Her name is Cindy. Edited February 12, 2017 by Just Kate 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Maybe some flameless candles for SIL. That's a nice self-care item both for depression and surgery recovery. Someone once got me a pair of earrings after one of my kids was born. It was such a nice and thoughtful gift and a great contrast to all the baby gear. Maybe your SIL would like something similar. Or since she likes nature, maybe a CD or white noise machine with nature sounds. I'd do a nice gift basket with healthy-ish food for the ILs, for when they need to grab something on the go, or need a decent snack. Maybe for SIL too, but you'd want to know if she has dietary restrictions. And some gift cards all around so no one has to deal with cooking during the recovery period. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 Simple crafts - she may have PT afterwards to be encouraged to regain control and dexterity? I remember doing a lot of simple crafts in PT and OT in rehab, goal was to get my nerve-damaged arms and hands to do what they were supposed to again. Does she have an iPad or tablet? I spent a lot of down time doing 100-500 jigsaw puzzles on my tablet. Again, worked on finger dexterity. I like the idea of gift cards for restaurants close to them that deliver, for when she is back home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 (edited) Praying for Cindy! :grouphug: Edited February 12, 2017 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mominco Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 So sorry she has had to go thru all this.Praying for her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted February 12, 2017 Share Posted February 12, 2017 How about giftcards to restaurants near the hospital for carry-outs? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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