Anyone have one like this? Aurgh!

[Remudamom]

Our fourteen yr old dd, bless her heart, says things that make us all stop talking and just look at her. Airhead things. Like she's from Mars things.

As in "Do you ever think before you speak?" things.

 

And she talks constantly. Through movies, unless we tell her she must quit speaking or leave the room. A sometimes constant flow of words that often means nothing or could just be left unsaid.

 

I can't tell if it's getting any better as she gets older. We tell her "Think before you talk/ask questions/ make remarks"

 

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she needs to get a handle on this. Any suggestions?

[LunaLee]

No advice just :grouphug: 'cuz I have one too.

 

And not only does she say things that all make us scratch our heads :confused: she's very senstitive, and I am not. So I have to be very careful what I say in return.

 

I guess I've just learned, or am trying to learn, to accept this as who she is and be less critical.

[Tammyla]

:lol: Sounds like someone I know. The only solution I've found is to ask them to repeat the comment or question. The light bulb doesn't always go off, but there have been a few aw-ha moments.

 

Many sympathies, my younger sister still talks through movies and talks nonstop, but I love her. And my ds inherited her mouth.:D Not so much the airhead part, just the nonstop part.

 

Our fourteen yr old dd, bless her heart, says things that make us all stop talking and just look at her. Airhead things. Like she's from Mars things.

As in "Do you ever think before you speak?" things.

 

And she talks constantly. Through movies, unless we tell her she must quit speaking or leave the room. A sometimes constant flow of words that often means nothing or could just be left unsaid.

 

I can't tell if it's getting any better as she gets older. We tell her "Think before you talk/ask questions/ make remarks"

 

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she needs to get a handle on this. Any suggestions?

[Pamela H in Texas]

honestly, my daughter did this also and it drove me crazy. It seemed like she was two different kids as she's so bright academically.

 

She just turned 16. Whether it's maturity or medication (she started adhd meds late Aug), it's gotten better this school year.

[Remudamom]

honestly, my daughter did this also and it drove me crazy. It seemed like she was two different kids as she's so bright academically.

 

She just turned 16. Whether it's maturity or medication (she started adhd meds late Aug), it's gotten better this school year.

 

I honestly don't think we need meds, but a bit a maturity would be good. I have noticed that her (previously sometimes stinky) attitude is getting better. Dh says I just need to accept that this is her, but I hate for her to say things that might embarrass her in front of people.

[VaKim]

Actually, I have a nearly 10yo just like that. I did have hope that she would outgrow it. You have taken my hope away. :( :lol:

[wagnfun]

Our fourteen yr old dd, bless her heart, says things that make us all stop talking and just look at her. Airhead things. Like she's from Mars things.

As in "Do you ever think before you speak?" things.

 

And she talks constantly. Through movies, unless we tell her she must quit speaking or leave the room. A sometimes constant flow of words that often means nothing or could just be left unsaid.

 

I can't tell if it's getting any better as she gets older. We tell her "Think before you talk/ask questions/ make remarks"

 

I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she needs to get a handle on this. Any suggestions?

 

 

I have one like that and worst.. I was like that as a child. Believe me it hurts ALOT when people say "you talk to much" or "can you stop talking?" As an adult I've learned through ALOT of personal practice to SHUT UP. Heres the deal, for me, I have to say things out loud to process them, this is why thoughts come out jumbled sometimes. I and now I see it in my son, have to repeat things someone has told me for it to sink in my brain. This is a type of learning, and not a intelligence factor as school & keeping a 4.0 came easy for me.

 

I tell my son: you do NOT have to say everything you think. (i tell him this over & over). We've gone over conversation tips, such as don't always have to have the last word & work on keeping the conversation on one subject (if what is on his tongue is different then the current subject, don't say it).

If trying to think a thing through, instead of saying it out loud, write it down. Becoming a list person helped me to put it on paper and not outloud. THere are always the basics- don't talk during a movie, practice a quiet hour in the house (NO one talks for an hour) and if she is aware of her nonstop talking, have her practice 30 minutes at time, only speaking when being spoken to.(helps the mind realize the nonstop chatter is habit as well)

 

Then hug her & tell her you love her lively personality :001_smile:

[Needleroozer]

Yep. More sympathys here. I was always of the opinion that there is no stupid question- until dd came along. She is very bright, and very talented, but she just happens to have a nack for asking/stating the obvious. I do my best to just shake my head and not make her wrong for it- it does seem to just be a part of her makeup.

As for how the world views her, I think she is/will be seen as the sum of all her wonderful parts.

Hugs.

[Mom2legomaniacs]

I honestly don't think we need meds, but a bit a maturity would be good. I have noticed that her (previously sometimes stinky) attitude is getting better. Dh says I just need to accept that this is her, but I hate for her to say things that might embarrass her in front of people.

 

One of mine is sort of like that. And, well, hmm, wonder where he gets that from ;). I can be a real ditz sometimes, truth be told. Like you all didn't already know that about me.

 

And we ALL say things to embarrass ourselves. I would say, make sure that she has a healthy view of herself regardless. And try to help her have a good sense of humor about those things. Because we all insert feet in our own mouths.

 

I agree with the suggestion of repeating what she said back to her in order to help her hear what she said. But don't do it in such a way that makes her feel that you are being condescending. I do this with mine. Just repeat back to him in question form in such a way that implies that I am the confused one or that I didn't quite hear him properly and am asking for clarification. Often, we end up with a little giggle about the faux pas of the mouth!

[MyBlueLobsters]

I think this is how Zach will be when he's 14! He does this now, and just talks talks talks ALL THE TIME! Anyway, from what I know of her, she is one amazing young woman! I think 14 is a hard age for girls....

[GSMP]

My niece is like that. We just look at her dumbfounded. I have no advice to offer....I'm sorry.

 

:grouphug:

[PariSarah]

. . . when a co-worker looks at her and says, "You're an absolute flaming idiot!!" Or a boss passes her over for a promotion, and she realizes that it's because she didn't know she was supposed to shut up during conferences. Family is where you learn how not to make yourself an idiot. It's the place where people love you enough to tell you what other people (who don't love you) will think of you if you do XYZ.

 

I can recall vividly several embarrassing episodes in my life that wouldn't have happened if my parents had been a little more insistent about teaching me certain social codes. It wasn't that they didn't know better--they just figured I'd figure it out on my own. And I didn't.

 

Give her concrete ways to police herself. Like, if I had a student in class who always (rudely) dominated the conversation, I might pull her aside and say, "Why don't you try limiting yourself to two contributions per class period?" You know, I'd nicely explain why and all, but that concrete suggestion will help the truly clueless kid understand what's normal. They sound silly when you phrase them as rules, but it's meant to give her a sense of what's generally expected.

 

Do you think that would help?

[TXMomof4]

DH still has issues with this. He's gotten better. Now he says, " You won't believe what I was about to say." Then says it anyway. At least he thinks about what he was going to say - just no stop filter to keep it from coming out in the end.

[Kanga]

DH still has issues with this. He's gotten better. Now he says, " You won't believe what I was about to say." Then says it anyway. At least he thinks about what he was going to say - just no stop filter to keep it from coming out in the end.

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

This is the point where my ds is at! My ds is brilliant, but can do and say the dumbest things. We have been working on awareness, but that just has caused him to warn us that he is about to commit a faux pas!

 

My ds brings so much joy and laughter to our lives- often because he lacks a filter - but I do worry about sending him into the big world! I also worry about doing damage in my attempts to get him to be quiet.

 

Thanks for the tips and making me realize that he might need to talk to process. I would appreciate any other ideas that the hive may have on how to get him to process in a more socially acceptable way.;)

Edited October 21, 2008 by Kanga

[mycalling]

My oldest is like this and it's good to hear other well-raised children are like this dispite good parenting. See, we only met my step-daughter 14 months ago...on the day she moved in! She had a horrible childhood and we blaim that for the way she's turned out, but this thread has me thinking a lot of it is just her personality. She is very difficult to be around for long periods of time becuase of the constant talking and stupid comments and questions. To make it worse, a lot of what comes out of her mouth are complete lies...intentionally said lies. Not just oops, she doesn't know what she's talking about.:glare:

Family is where you learn how not to make yourself an idiot. It's the place where people love you enough to tell you what other people (who don't love you) will think of you if you do XYZ.

This is how we approach our daughter. She often looks like a moron and dominates conversations. She is in public school (I'm guessing homeschoolers don't see this side effect as much) and she has NO FRIENDS because of her personality. She talks about not being liked and it obviously depresses her. She was homeschooled last year and we focused on these issues for the whole year hoping she'd be better prepared socially, but it just hasn't sunk in. :confused:

[Liz Mc in SC]

Well, for my 12 yr old it's gotten to be a running joke, I just ask her if she's having a "blond moment" -- hehehe--- and yes she's blond. To which she replies MOM! She's extremely bright also, and has been included in a small group to take the SAT in December. Only there are times when I look at her and I honestly don't understand what she just said. :001_huh:

 

When she got the news she had been invited to take the SAT she smiled and announced she felt very "Smarticle." :lol:

[Liz Mc in SC]

:

 

My ds brings so much joy and laughter to our lives- often because he lacks a filter - but I do worry about sending him into the big world! I also worry about doing damage in my attempts to get him to be quiet.

 

QUOTE]

 

:iagree: So much joy :001_smile:

[Jenn in Mo]

I've worried and worried about my 5 year old being "blonde". I've mentioned my fear to a friend who knows her well who gets upset with me for verbalizing it - she champions my daughter and I am so glad...I need that. She has pointed out that Honor is just not the mathematical thinker I'm used to in the rest of the family. She is a musical/artistic little butterfly. Butterfly suits perfectly as she is always fluttering and flitting wherever she goes. I'm making sure she has plenty of artistic outlets so that hopefully she can express herself in a NON-verbal way occasionally.

[Remudamom]

Thanks all, I've got a lot of good advice here.