madteaparty Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 any thoughts about living there, with kids? Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 I hear it is not that great. I have relatives there and they don't complain. But, they are also typical Danish people. Someone wrote a book on it..someone else mentioned it on these boards. I would be interested in reading that book. I am curious too. But basically, I understand, the Danish do not like outsiders. I got on a board once for people who are going to move there, and it was clear that it was kind of a hostile environment for outsiders. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bibiche Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 We have a friend there doing a postdoc right now who wishes she could stay forever. She has a young child. She loves it there, the people are friendly, social services are wonderful. She would absolutely stay if she could. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 DS spent several weeks there this summer in a study abroad program. He really enjoyed it. Said it was very clean and while the people weren't overtly friendly they were kind and helpful whenever he asked for help. Keep in mind he's a southern boy, so his bar for measuring "overtly friendly" is probably relatively high. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 I have Danish friends and I have friends who are Americans who moved there for various school/work/etc for a period of time. You might find this a good read: http://www.iconbooks.com/blog/title/the-year-of-living-danishly/ A number of things resonated with me when I read it. If dh was offered a relo there, we'd take it. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted November 21, 2016 Author Share Posted November 21, 2016 But basically, I understand, the Danish do not like outsiders. I got on a board once for people who are going to move there, and it was clear that it was kind of a hostile environment for outsiders.Kind of how many of us feel here, now. Good to know! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madteaparty Posted November 21, 2016 Author Share Posted November 21, 2016 I have Danish friends and I have friends who are Americans who moved there for various school/work/etc for a period of time. You might find this a good read: http://www.iconbooks.com/blog/title/the-year-of-living-danishly/ A number of things resonated with me when I read it. If dh was offered a relo there, we'd take it. It's not DH's job, it's one for me, maybe. Excited to explore it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 FWIW, the frustrating parts of Danish culture, imo, revolve around the higher incidence of domestic abuse and alcohol abuse. The two are interconnected. There is a greater emphasis on community/belonging and the tradeoff is mediocrity. I think to some degree, Danes are resentful that they need outsiders in key areas. Flowing between jobs is common, but the security network that comes from high taxes makes that ok. I know that my Danish mom friends would love to be SAHMs, but they find life too expensive to do that. Social networking is key--mother's groups, Friday afternoon snacks at work, etc. It takes a while to find your place within those circles, but once you're there, I find Danes to be very friendly. I find Kobenhavn beautiful, and I think if you're comfortable living in an urban apartment, you'd be fine. Personally, I wouldn't mind living in Aarhus either (on Jutland). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 I love Copenhagen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 We loved Copenhagen! But we've only visited. If you want another book suggestion, I like this one: https://www.amazon.com/Almost-Nearly-Perfect-People-Scandinavian/dp/1250081564/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1479753742&sr=8-1&keywords=the+almost+nearly+perfect+people It is, of course, extremely expensive. We found the people pleasant and reserved, but again that was as tourists and not trying to assimilate into the culture by living there. Unless you have a good grasp on Germanic languages, I would think learning Danish might be a difficult hurdle. Sounds exciting! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted November 21, 2016 Share Posted November 21, 2016 It isn't so much that Danes are hostile. Not at all. They are salt of the earth kind of people. The issue is that in their culture they value their heritage and way of doing things and expect people to try to assimilate. It is culturally acceptable to voice opinion and even be a bit bossy without that being "offensive". This is due to them being community oriented (this is a very viking kind of outlook) and want people to join the community and benefit from that. So they have no problem telling you, "You are doing it wrong" in a very matter of fact way. To the rugged individualist Americans, this is considered height of rudeness and is taken as an affront. What they want to do is help you and continue to help you until you "do it right" and are a part of the community. Makr an effort and take their advice, and you will be a loved and valued member of "tribe". At least this is how it was explained by dh's Danish relatives and his cousin - maternal side so not of Dane heritage - who married a Dane. Sadly, she wanted to live in Copenhagen and enjoyed teaching there but absolutely refused to make the slightest effort with her husband's family always trying to convert them to American ideals. The marriage only lasted four years. So my advice is if you go, listen and make the effort, don't assume offense, and you will be welcomed. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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