Do you ever feel wary about telling people you homeschool?

[waa510]

Yes, definitely in the past. I have experienced a complete attitude shift in doctors once they discover the kids are homeschooled. Sometimes even open hostility which has been super-fun. I was worried about CPS for a time as my kids were severely underweight (both of them) and coupling that with homeschooling could look really bad. Thankfully, I had a close friend who happened to work at our ped office attest to the fact that my kids ate me out of house and home. I also brought in med records from my childhood so ped could see that I was very thin as a child. Probably very paranoid and defensive, but all those news stories about neglectful homeschoolers using home as a way to hide abuse do nothing to help the perception professionals have of us, sadly.

 

 

Ways to help: I think projecting positivity and confidence has been the best offensive thing I could do. Also, having canned responses to professionals who just.won't.let.it.go. 

 

Your family may never come around to accepting your homeschooling, btw. I've had to lay down some pretty firm boundaries in the past surrounding discussion of it. Those people are no longer in our lives now b/c they wouldn't respect those boundaries. 

 

 

[Mom22ns]

I've never been wary and I've never been shy about saying I homeschool. I've only had one negative reaction, and that was a ps teacher. Ok, so ps teachers make me nervous, but they don't deserve my wariness. The truth is most have been great about it.

 

I have always been quick to say we homeschool and I have enjoyed most of the conversations that followed.

"My grandkids are being homeschooled and I'm a little worried. Is it really ok?" Yes.

"I think that is so amazing, the freedom you must enjoy!" Oh, Yes.

"Can homeschoolers go to college?" Mine both do.

"I could never do that!" It's not for everybody :)

 

I did recently have a young woman say she was having trouble getting a job because she homeschooled and didn't have a GED. I didn't have time to go into it with her, but I will see her again and I really hope to educate her about saying she has graduated and make sure her mom provided her with a homeschool diploma. 

 

I really don't mind educating people. Before we started homeschooling, I was SO clueless and I am thankful for the homeschoolers that took the time to educate me. I believe in paying it forward, and honestly, the feedback here is overwhelmingly positive.

[Artichoke]

Yeah, I think the area you're in probably make a huge difference. Around here in a low income community homeschooling is not normal at all, and a lot of people probably don't know what it is and don't trust it. 

 

And as to Tibbie's comment, I wonder how many people out there are at or near poverty and homeschooling. It would be nice to meet people who are in a similar situation to us. I feel pretty isolated when I see every other homeschooler seems to live on a huge piece of property with a nice big house while we rent in a cramped low-income neighborhood. We are very much the weirdos here but thankfully no one bothers us. 

 

 

When we started homeschooling, we could afford little to nothing.  True, we had just bought a small home after nine years of marriage but that was basically all we had.  It was almost two decades ago, and we still live in the same home but thankfully with more income.  

 

People of all socio-economic levels homeschool in our area.  In the early days, I worried just because we homeschooled.  It was uncommon, and some people actually asked us if it were legal to do. 

Edited April 1, 2016 by Artichoke

[happypamama]

I am cautious with people like doctors, until I get a feel for how they feel about homeschooling, because you just never know.  Thankfully, our doctor is friendly and neutral; homeschooling just isn't an issue.

 

The general population?  Nah, I don't worry about it.  It's not their business.  And nobody cares anyway.  If people ask if school's out, we shrug, say we homeschool, and that's it.  There are a fair number of homeschoolers around here, and the area is generally homeschooling-supportive.

 

I've really never had a negative comment.  Once, when DD was about two, we were in a checkout line at the grocery store, and the cashier, a young woman whom I'd seen there a few times, asked if she was going to preschool soon.  I replied that no, we were planning to homeschool, and she wanted to know if we were worried about socialization or whether or not we could teach her well enough.  Well, considering that my daughter was, at the time, alternating between chattering up a storm with anyone she could find, counting all the items in my cart, and naming the capitals of the states, no, I wasn't worried about either of those things.  Then she wanted to know if I knew that public school is free.  Pretty sure construction paper and Cuisenaire rods are cheaper than public school fees, since we already had a backyard and a library card.  That's about the extent of anything less than positive anyone has ever said.  Mostly people just go, "Oh, cool," and that's about it.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Weary, not wary.

 

My youngest is graduating this spring. But sometimes I just got tired of answering questions, usually from checkers. Even when asked kindly, I got to the point where I'd occasionally respond, "Oh, they go to a small private school and are off today." 

 

I wouldn't do that with a doctor's office though.  That would seem dishonest to me.

 

And PLEASE do not feel guilty that your children are on Medicaid.  It's no one else's business, and certainly not the concern of the office staff.  In fact, it should be the opposite--at least they know they will get paid.  Even so, I believe a household can qualify as long as their HH income is up to 200% federal poverty level.  A lot of families are eligible, and whatever your circumstances are, you shouldn't have to feel like you owe any explanation. The program is in place to KEEP YOUR CHILDREN HEALTHY!

 

Lastly, fwiw, I have two kids and began homeschooling in 2001.  It was until 2014 that my dad finally stopped asking if they'd go to "real school." At that point, my youngest was in 10th grade.  It stinks when you don't have that type of family support, but YOU know your children best, and you can make those decisions for your family!

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[pinkmint]

Waa510, my kids are thin too so that's another area of caution for me. They're not underweight and their thinness is absolutely not for lack of me harassing them all day to eat but still.

 

The nurse commented that my son needs to eat because she can see his bones. Ugh. He's in the dang 50th percentile so very normal just lean. But as soon as you mention homeschool some people seem to connect every imperfection to it.

 

I try to avoid admitting we homeschool but some people just won't stop asking questions and at least it makes them stop.

 

Maybe I need to be like Kinsa and have a confrontational 'tude about it. Lol.

[Rosie_0801]

Ah, be nice to check out chicks. They might end up here on the WTM forum with 23000 posts.

 

:leaving:

[73349]

In my area, homeschooling's become pretty common (as are private schools, charter schools, magnet schools, year-round schools, along with the traditional public schools--evidently fewer than half of children are attending the default schools for their addresses), so most people don't bat an eye. I've learned not to be shy if the subject comes up.

Edited April 1, 2016 by whitehawk

[ThisIsTheDay]

Waa510, my kids are thin too so that's another area of caution for me. They're not underweight and their thinness is absolutely not for lack of me harassing them all day to eat but still.

 

The nurse commented that my son needs to eat because she can see his bones. Ugh. He's in the dang 50th percentile so very normal just lean. But as soon as you mention homeschool some people seem to connect every imperfection to it.

 

I try to avoid admitting we homeschool but some people just won't stop asking questions and at least it makes them stop.

 

Maybe I need to be like Kinsa and have a confrontational 'tude about it. Lol.

 

This is so true, no matter what it is.  As if every ps kid/family is perfect!

 

Ah, be nice to check out chicks. They might end up here on the WTM forum with 23000 posts.

 

:leaving:

 

Oh, I am, I am!  They ARE being nice, it's just me who tires of it.  Truly, they have always been very kind and complimentary.  It really is me, after 3,249 times, I just would rather talk about the weather!

:)

[Seasider]

LOL! Mine, too. Easy peasy.

 

I don't tell all my kids' specialists that they homeschool. (We have a lot of medical stuff in our family.) Specialists have a way of entering a room without looking at the whole child in the first place -- if they're there about the feet, they walk in looking at the feet. LOL So no need for life stories.

 

I do tell the offices that are going to see them regularly and frequently, like family doctor, eye doctor, dentist, orthodontist.

I agree and have experienced the above. The regulars love the fact that we can beat the after school rush for scheduling appointments.

 

In general conversation, I don't go announcing it but don't hide the info if it comes up naturally. Rarely, a person has given off strong vibes and in those instances I usually am guarded about answering any questions in too much detail. I turn the conversation to weather, recently read books and current films.

[FaithManor]

The kids and I don't tell doctors anymore and let them assume whatever they want to assume. We've had enough lecturing from medical professionals to last a lifetime, so we keep it under wraps. Then if they offer a note, we accept it with a thank you and walk out the door.

 

Eldest two - the college grad and the current college freshman - never told professors so that they would enter class on the same footing as everyone else, no preconceived notions.

 

Oh, and one time when dd witnessed a car accident that involved an FBI agent committing an act of VERY reckless driving, and she was questioned by the investigating officer, we opted not to tell them she was homeschooled so when the agent assumed she was not available for an appointment with him until after school let out, we did not correct him. We just felt it wasn't his business and had no bearing on the veracity of her testimony, but having again been on the receiving end of busy body opinions about it before, decided it was a "need to know" situation, and he did not need to know.

 

Other than that, we've not felt much of a need to keep it under wraps.

 

[Garga]

Here's my story about the one time a teacher insulted me for homeschooling: https://dustylizard.wordpress.com/2012/04/29/my-rotten-friend-insulted-me-on-purpose-to-my-face/

[meena]

Yes, I'm wary. Sometimes people can be rude, but I can handle that pretty well. It's the people who don't really know what homeschooling is like who make me not want to say anything. I feel like I have to over explain things like why it's okay for us to be out during school hours and why my kids aren't at a desk 7 hours a day. I live in an area where homeschooling is becoming increasingly popular, so I try to go to doctors/dentists that other homeschoolers go to so we aren't odd to them. We only do limited activities during school hours because my kids hate people asking why they aren't in school. Thankfully we our neighbors are a homeschooling family (and the family we bought our house from homeschooled as well), so the people who live around us were already familiar with seeing kids outside on weekdays and knowing our lifestyle is different.

Edited April 1, 2016 by meena

[Seeking Squirrels]

No, I don't. The pediatrician knows and it's often brought up casually because it's relevant to what we're discussing. I let receptionists know so they know they can schedule us any time during the day even for non urgent things. We don't really get many questions out yet, my oldest is only 7 so maybe they just assume she's younger than she looks.