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College visits - what to do/not to do?


swimmermom3
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Sailor Dude leaves this Saturday for his first "official" college visit.  He is going solo and will fly in the day before the scheduled school overnight begins. He will stay with family who will then return him to the airport on Sunday to catch the school shuttle to the campus.

 

We have already discovered that since we live on the west coast and all of his school choices are in Chicago or further east, that an extra day of travel is required in order for flights to work out right. This will be something to keep in mind for costs.

 

Anyway, what kinds of questions should ds be asking? What should he be paying particular attention to?  He will be going to two classes and talking with a professor as well as touring the campus, staying in a residence hall and eating in the dining hall.

 

Sailor Dude has done four interviews with admissions officer here in our town, so his experience with the admissions officer won't be completely cold. He will reread the material we have on the academics and check over the information on the residence halls and meal plans.

 

Since this is not something I have ever done, my advice consists of "be polite, tidy, and enthusiastic."  Anything else you all can add would be helpful.

 

We just received news today that this school has increased his merit aid offer.  It is his only option that does not have an urban setting, but everything else about it and all of our contacts have "felt" right. 

 

Having a mom who says, "Well, how do you feel?" isn't particularly helpful.  His first choice school is in Washington D.C. and it's hard to get him to see beyond the setting and the internship opportunities.

 

 

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He should talk to students. The official presenters will of course make everything look wonderful and glow with enthusiasm.

He should talk to regular students,in the dining hall, in the library, and get their impressions about the vibes of the school and the culture. Are they stressed and overwhelmed with classwork? Do they have masochistic pride in their work load? Do they boast of their drinking parties and celebrations?

 

Questions to ask: class size? Do profs teach or grad student TAs? Will foundational classes be taught live, or will he have to take online courses?

And he should ask those questions of the official presenters and the random students to find out whether the officials are telling the truth.

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Maybe ask how difficult it is to register for classes or to get into classes required for graduation.  At my kids' school, classes are closed so quickly and the waitlists are long.  It's very frustrating.  

 

If statistics on job placement after graduation aren't available online, then that would be a good question to ask also - especially specific to your son's major.  Same with internship placements.  

 

Erica

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Meetings with admissions are shiny and pretty and somewhat useless. However, both of my kids final choices were swayed by their campus visits.

 

One of the things that was very telling on our visits were the interactions with students during the campus tours. I realize these could be very different at different size campuses, but here were some of the things that were notable. The college where ds is attending, people regularly ran up to hug our tour guide and tell us he should definitely come to X university because it is the best! At other another school, there were a few pleasant interactions and again, students that were near at lunch and other times also recommended the school. At one University, no one interacted with the guide or us. At one University, the guide was in a sorority and we got lots of interaction with her sisters, but when we went to lunch, we sat at a large table with lots of students. We asked if we could join them and got nods but no one spoke to us at all. We're midwesterners. We wanted friendly.

 

The other things that probably swayed my kids most were the meetings with professors/dept heads. The head of the creative writing department (ds would have been a creative writing major there) at one University wouldn't really listen to ds and kept telling him about things he wasn't interested in and couldn't answer his questions. We were NOT impressed. Again, the head of the department he is in had an engaging conversation with him, listened to his needs and told him how they could meet them - and I'll add, so far they are doing a great job. Dd had the same kind of meetings, some that just hit every point that she would want and some that just really blew it.

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Maybe ask how difficult it is to register for classes or to get into classes required for graduation.   

 

 

This is a good question, but I have found that you have to ask it in the right way to get meaningful information. If you ask how difficult it is to get the classes you want, they will say something like, "Uh, not too bad! You need to plan ahead and register as soon as you can..." 

 

You will learn more if you ask it in a different way. Which classes are hardest to get into? Which non-elective classes aren't offered every year? These almost always get a specific answer, and then you can dig more based on that. Being evasive is a bad sign, as is saying that it changes every semester (this might be true but shouldn't be; suddenly not offering a class can cause students big trouble). 

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I do have a couple of odd housekeeping questions.

 

From sailing and swimming, ds is used to bringing a small gift when someone hosts him. Would this be an appropriate thing to do for the student that would be hosting Sailor Dude as it is an overnight stay?  What would be a good gift for a college student you don't know?  Perhaps a small card to write a quick note of thanks as well?

 

Also, our weather is mild and ds generally wears running shoes. He doesn't seem to mind wet feet. However, all the campuses he's looking at over the next couple of weeks can have a wide range of weather conditions including snow.  I think he should probably get something better than running shoes.  Any suggestions?  What do your guys wear on campus?  Whatever it is, it would need to dry quickly, right?

 

 

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When my daughter went on college and/or scholarship event overnight visits, she always took either cookies or a couple of full sized chocolate bars for her host.  Her gifts were never declined!

 

Best wishes to Sailor Dude for a wonderful visit.

 

Regards,

Kareni

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This is a good question, but I have found that you have to ask it in the right way to get meaningful information. If you ask how difficult it is to get the classes you want, they will say something like, "Uh, not too bad! You need to plan ahead and register as soon as you can..." 

 

You will learn more if you ask it in a different way. Which classes are hardest to get into? Which non-elective classes aren't offered every year? These almost always get a specific answer, and then you can dig more based on that. Being evasive is a bad sign, as is saying that it changes every semester (this might be true but shouldn't be; suddenly not offering a class can cause students big trouble). 

 

It is a bit hit-or-miss, but I think asking specific, directed questions is the way to go here.  Not "is it hard to get into classes", but "how many classes have you  not gotten into since you started here".  Not "what do students do for fun", but "what did you do last weekend". Not "is there a lot of homework", but "what's the most amount of time you've spent on one homework assignment". etc.

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Sailor Dude is back and has a lot of good things to say about his visit.  I am also supposed to thank you all for the list of questions.

 

I'll share a couple of his impressions for those of you who are starting the process with your juniors. 

 

Ds is by his own admission somewhat shy.  However, it made sense financially and logistically to send him off on this first visit by himself.  He felt that this was actually an advantage compared to the students who came with their parents. Several of the kids who came in by themselves became "shuttle buddies," exchanging phone numbers and their impressions about the school.  They ate lunch together at the airport before the return flight home.  Ds was delighted to wake up with texts from the group. If he chooses this school, he will know people going in and that's a plus.

 

He was also told by admissions that they like it when kids are on their own because they feel as though they can be a bit more upfront about certain aspects such as drinking.

 

Cons: residence hall and food (too salty),  bleak winter campus (he's a PNWer and needs some green), not a lot of outdoor activities for downtime

 

Pros:  academics, very welcoming staff and students, a place he can definitely see himself fitting in, senior capstone research project (he will need to go to grad school)

 

On a scale of 1-10, he rated the school 8-9. Of course he doesn't have anything to compare it to.

 

I suspect that his impression of residence halls and college food will be on average when he has more schools to compare them to. It's just that initial shock. :D   I think the biggest concern is the physical environment.  As a mom, my thought is that the more there is to do outside or at least for urban exploration, the less likely he is to party in the downtime.

 

We'll be hitting the road in about a week and a half to see a couple of other schools where he has been accepted and to visit my 95 yo MIL.  Unfortunately, the two remaining schools that we haven't heard from are his top contenders for his major and their location. Their announcements will come while we are on the road.  They have also been the hardest schools to get visits with. I have emailed one of them twice following their specified procedure and have received no response. :tongue_smilie:  The other school was happy to have us take their usual daily campus tour, but would need to speak with professors to see if ds could attend classes and talk with them. They'll get back to me - eventually.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I have more questions as we prepare to hit the road for more college visits and time with my soon-to-be 96 yo MIL.

 

What do parents wear to open houses?  You have to understand that my normal attire is a decent pair of jeans with a long sleeve v-neck t-shirt from Fred Meyer.  We will be in the roughly Chicago area and then Washington, D.C.  I don't want to get the boy unaccepted. 

 

For those of you that have been to several of these and feel a bit jaded, what do you consider the must see or do experiences?

 

The students will usually talk with the professors on their own, right?  I had Sailor Dude email a note of thanks to the first professor that he met with.  Is this standard and appropriate?

 

How about an email note of thanks to his overnight host?  Ds didn't leave his groovy canister of hot chocolate with his host on his first visit because no one else did.  I still like Kareni's idea of maybe leaving chocolate bars or something similar.

 

Anything else?

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I do have a couple of odd housekeeping questions.

 

From sailing and swimming, ds is used to bringing a small gift when someone hosts him. Would this be an appropriate thing to do for the student that would be hosting Sailor Dude as it is an overnight stay?  What would be a good gift for a college student you don't know?  Perhaps a small card to write a quick note of thanks as well?

 

Also, our weather is mild and ds generally wears running shoes. He doesn't seem to mind wet feet. However, all the campuses he's looking at over the next couple of weeks can have a wide range of weather conditions including snow.  I think he should probably get something better than running shoes.  Any suggestions?  What do your guys wear on campus?  Whatever it is, it would need to dry quickly, right?

 

I think a gift card to a national chain would be a nice gift. Maybe Target, Starbucks Chipotle, or something like that. Try googling the campus to see what's near there.

 

We live in northern Indiana (about 100 miles from Chicago) but my son is at a southern Indiana campus. Even here, in the lake effect snow belt, the snow is pretty much over.  We probably won't have more than and inch on the ground this time of year and the sidewalks will be cleared.  My son wears waterproof hiking boots around campus. I do the same here in the north.  They're good for every weather occasion until it's time to break out the sandals. If  your son is really going to attend college in a region with snowy conditions, they're a good choice of everyday footwear.  Living where I do, I have a lot of experience drying shoes out - stuff them wadded up school newspapers and they will dry overnight.

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The one thing I find difficult  is that so many intelligent students are swayed by the students they come in contact with. Talking with one student or another will give you a different slant. 

 

Admissions really look at the paperwork first, grades, test, resume etc. They accept students that never visit, visit often, extroverted, introverted,  etc. Thank you notes are always appreciated. Yes to student going alone to see a professor. In open house and tours parents can ask the questions. I would wear slacks and a sweater or jacket. I'm not sure anything is ever noticed about a parent though unless maybe they are a real pain. 

 

Are they interviewing students at the time of the visit?

 

Good luck! Somehow it all works out. 

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Jeans and a nice top are fine, I saw tons of them on every visit we did. 

 

The students who let visitors stay in their rooms are generally part of an ambassador type program; they get various benefits and I wouldn't go so far as to bring a gift card. A chocolate bar or other small item, maybe something from your local area, sure, but the vast majority of visitors are not going to do that. 

 

We were always invited in when dd met with a professor, even when we were hanging way back, in fact very strongly encouraged so that it was difficult to decline! When dd did followup visits, we didn't even go in the building, so they wouldn't invite us in again, lol. But it's fine to go in on the first visit if you're invited, as long as it won't keep the student from speaking up. 

 

Must see/must do for dd was eating in the cafeteria, checking out the library and its hours, meeting with someone in the department of majors/minors, walking the campus to see how long it takes from here to there, and visiting lots of bathrooms - heh, seriously, she liked to check for availability, cleanliness, supplies, graffiti, etc. 

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I'd say so long as you look neat (and aren't wearing a Harvard t-shirt while visiting Princeton) that all should be fine for you, the parent.

 

My daughter did either email or send a note to professors with whom she had visited.  She wrote thank you notes to admission personnel who interviewed her.  She generally sent an email to student hosts after the visit.

 

And, yes, I'd also try to bow out of being included in any visits with professors.  At one college, I recall being invited in to meet the admission counselor after my daughter had interviewed.  After that, I preferred to remain out of sight.

 

Regards,

Kareni

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Eight college applications

 

Six acceptances, waiting on the two most critical schools

 

One college tour done solo

 

Now on tour with mom and dad - three colleges visited, three more to go

 

Swimmermom3's head feels as if it is going to explode

 

Seriously hoping for a "love-at-first-sight" experience that is affordable

 

On the bright side - looking forward to meeting two boardies :D

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Seven acceptances - three schools crossed off the list

 

Fourth visit today

 

Yesterday, we did a quick informal preview of campus - love at first sight, connection

 

Older son sent video from home showing opening of acceptance letter to this particular school - money is half or less of all other scholarships :001_unsure: 

 

Our Airbnb host works in and for an area of particular interest for ds. He couldn't stop grinning and asking questions.

 

A CC mom from the PNW generously agreed to give ds's info to her son who is at this school. The guys are meeting for coffee now.

 

Unexpected things are lining up - except the money.  If it weren't for that, I suspect he'd commit today.

 

Again, for those of you who have done this more than one time or had to make a hard decision, I am in awe.

 

 

 

 

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