JumpyTheFrog Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 (edited) Over on the college board people are discussing yet another book about being productive that seems to assume the reader has a spouse they can delegate everything to. What is out there for those of us who are the ones doing almost everything else so our spouse can focus on their career? I find that by the time the kids are in bed and it is finally quiet enough that I can work without being interrupted every five minutes that I am usually too mentally drained to want to do anything (or it is time for me to start my wind down routine so I can actually sleep at night). What is out there that might work? I have health and sleep issues and have spent the last ten years trying to move my bedtime and wake up time earlier so I can be more productive, but it never works. The only way for me to not be severely sleep deprived is to get up after the kids, which means I usually start the day behind. I need something that doesn't rely on getting up early. ETA: Kids are 9 and 6 and already have more chores than most non-farm kids. Unfortunately they also make messes at a high rate. Edited February 23, 2016 by HoppyTheToad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Over on the college board people are discussing yet another book about being productive that seems to assume the reader has a spouse they can delegate everything to. What is out there for those of us who are the ones doing almost everything else so our spouse can focus on their career? I find that by the time the kids are in bed and it is finally quiet enough that I can work without being interrupted every five minutes that I am usually too mentally drained to want to do anything (or it is time for me to start my wind down routine so I can actually sleep at night). What is out there that might work? I have health and sleep issues and have spent the last ten years trying to move my bedtime and wake up time earlier so I can be more productive, but it never works. The only way for me to not be severely sleep deprived is to get up after the kids, which means I usually start the day behind. I need something that doesn't rely on getting up early. Ack! Aren't you productive enough schooling and keeping everything going? What are you struggling with in general? Are your kids pitching in? I don't do hardly anything house/school/life related in the evening (except prep for history group). I don't want to be more productive--I'd like to be less, actually. Maybe I'm not the right person to ask. . . . 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 Are your kids pitching in? Yes, they do lots of chores, mostly cleaning up their own messes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Interesting topic. . . I hope more people chime in. Naps. Naps are lovely. Not for the kids (even my 2.5yo hasn't napped regularly in at least a year, but my kids aren't up terribly early either), but for me as needed. My kids are old enough to watch themselves/the toddler for twenty minutes if I need a nap. That helps me keep going on long days. Often, I will be very productive in the hours after everyone goes to bed, if I've had a little nap. It's kind of amazing how much you can accomplish in two or three hours when it's quiet, and nobody needs you. (I don't do this regularly, but from time to time, I will.) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Yes, they do lots of chores, mostly cleaning up their own messes.Are they old enough to help with general housework, too--like wipe down the bathrooms, clean up after meals, fold laundry? We have daily and also Weds. chores. I love the way the house looks after Weds. chores. It gets me through to Sat. am when I do more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 I feel like stuff gets added to the to-do list faster than it can get done - things like staining the deck, repainting the railings and cabinets, and fixing all the other things that need repairs after living in this house for four years. I don't know whether the previous owner who fixed the house used low quality materials or if it's mostly having two kids who are especially rough on the place...I am not very handy, and while DH is, he is less motivated than me (even though he has more energy), so I have to be the "kicker-in-the-pantsers" about getting projects done. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 How old are your kids? That makes abig difference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 One is about to turn 10 and the other will be 7 shortly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JumpyTheFrog Posted February 23, 2016 Author Share Posted February 23, 2016 I am: -Homeschooling both of them -Parenting one very intense child who sucks up most of my emotional energy -Dealing with dietary needs that require lots of cooking and therefore dishes as well -Do all the scheduling/taxes/bill paying -Do most of the yard work -Do most of the driving to kids activities -Trying to exercise every day and make other changes to improve my health -Procrastinating finishing a quilt and seemingly getting dragged into other sewing projects even though I don't enjoy sewing much. I enjoy having a finished product that my kids can't undo in ten minutes. Likewise I am currently procrastinating finishing the rough draft of my novel. -I am skipping the garden this year, except maybe for a few tomatoes and some salad greens. -I am also trying to learn to program (in my spare time) so I can be employable some day. I don't get to it much anymore because when I have time to do it, I don't have any mental energy left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamiof5 Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 Our kids help A LOT. No farm life here, but they help a lot with our home. But, I am always behind (specially checking their work). At the end of the day I am just drained, have no brain to check their work (specially math). I go to bed super late, don't get enough sleep. Meal planning helps, and I pray a lot (for strength and peace of mind). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 (edited) For me, the keys to productivity are to streamline the household and to critically examine my day for pockets of wasted time. Housework takes barely any time because I won't allow it to. (It will fill whatever time you are willing to give it). My kids never had many chores, because there really was not that much to do. No shoes in the house and eating only at the dining table greatly reduce dirt. No clutter+ everything has a place greatly reduces cleaning time. Small time slots are used for quick tasks - running a load of laundry while I have breakfast and hanging it on the clothe line before I leave for work; washing cutting boards and knives while the coffee brews, etc. I cook from scratch, but weekday meals are simple; I cook in my lunch break, and no cooked meal takes longer than 25 minutes from the prep start to the table I find that throughout the day I have pockets of time I am not putting to productive use. The computer is the main culprit. If I want to be more productive, I need to make sure I schedule and limit my non-work computer time. I have never found that I really don't have enough time to do what I need. I find, however, that I waste time on unproductive pursuits and am sometimes too lazy to be productive. Identifying those instances goes a long way towards more productivity. ETA: Aside from the infant years, I have always worked at least 20 hours/week outside the home. I find that I waste the most time during summers when I am not employed, and that everything runs much more efficiently when I don't have time to waste. Paradoxically: the less time I have, the more I get accomplished. Edited February 23, 2016 by regentrude 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freesia Posted February 23, 2016 Share Posted February 23, 2016 We school 5 or 6 weeks on, one week off. I use that week to catch up on some of the things that are on your list--like repairs, painting, etc. You have a lot on your plate right now, you do seem plenty productive. Are you sure you are not just being too hard on yourself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 Well, I kind of do everything on my own as well since I have no spouse. I noticed that I get a lot done when I actually schedule myself. For example, I brush up on my math while DS is reading history or some other independent work, I embroider from 530-630, I read from 8-9, I do repair/home improvement work from 3-5 on Thursdays, and so on. Even if a task is designated as simply an enjoyable hobby, I have to schedule it in the day or I don't get to enjoy it, ya know? :) And then someone gets sick or something happens and the schedule hits the fan...and then it's back to square one :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 What helps me (insomniac with seasonal allergies since young) - my intense kid doesn't need me unless he is sick in which case he want me to stay beside him - my hubby does most of the housework. Our house is a small condo so very little cleaning required - having do not disturb mommy time since my kids were very young. I need my downtime with my coffee maker. Now I can catch a nap and they would just do leisure reading while I nap for an hour. What have been helpful in general - printed schedule so kids can check without asking me - schedule on my phone so I know if I am at risk of overcommitting when someone ask about an event/appointment. - reminders and todo list on my phone so I dont need to remember all the details. - buying stuff (toys, workbooks) that kids can do independently like Lego Duplo when they were babies/toddlers so I can just rest/lounge nearby while they do their stuff. They know if they need help to call, else they are happy I am closeby I know my health is the worse once flowers start blooming which is Jan-April my kids are on autopilot during those months so school can go on even with me sneezing and sleepy most of the day. I just remind every morning and check every night since they are also sneezing like crazy. I cook lunch during breakfast time because hubby brings lunch to work. Kids can eat what I have cooked or make their own lunch. So I only need to cook at most twice a day since hubby brings back office meetings leftovers sometimes for dinner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 (edited) I am: -Homeschooling both of them -Parenting one very intense child who sucks up most of my emotional energy -Dealing with dietary needs that require lots of cooking and therefore dishes as well -Do all the scheduling/taxes/bill paying -Do most of the yard work -Do most of the driving to kids activities -Trying to exercise every day and make other changes to improve my health <snip> Sounds as if you have a full-time job. Really, one of the keys to my contentment was recognizing that homeschooling my kids, keeping the house, etc., is my job. Just as my husband has a job. Mine just doesn't bring in any money. :-) I used to feel guilty hanging out talking to other moms at the playground, or reading in a cafe when my kids were at an activity and it was too far to go home. But that is part of my job. I don't do things like staining decks and painting cabinets, as you mentioned in another post. Those things may need to get done, but it sounds as if they are outside the scope of your job right now. For those types of things, I talk to my husband and we figure out how to deal with them, whether it's to get someone else to do them, pick a weekend to do them together (more likely now, for my husband to do them with our son), or let them go for a while. ETA: But that didn't answer your question. If you analyze your day, as Regentrude mentioned, you might find you can have an hour in the middle of the day during which you can work. Can you study programming when the kids are in some activity? I used to work on our Latin lessons while my kids were in rock-climbing class. 1.5 hours of uninterrupted time in Target's cafe. :-) Or sometimes in the car. Or what about late morning while they work independently (if they are able to do do), or right after lunch when everyone has a quiet time? Enforce a no-interruption-unless-there's-blood rule. Why are you continuing to work on sewing projects that you don't enjoy? Edited February 24, 2016 by marbel 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 I lowered my standards😉 Seriously? Meal variety is slim. Batch cook and crockpot. Activities are grouped or no can do. I don't sort laundry, just wash on cold. Nothing is ruined yet. Kids take clothes to their room. I don't ask after that. We speed clean together about 4:45. Vac, swipe bathrooms, sweep kitchen, bathrooms and mud room. Put books, papers, toys in a basket at the back of the living room. Deal in the morning. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted February 24, 2016 Share Posted February 24, 2016 (edited) -Procrastinating finishing a quilt and seemingly getting dragged into other sewing projects even though I don't enjoy sewing much. The why do you do it? That would be the first thing I'd cut. I have been rather ruthless with activities that are "shoulds"; if I feel I "should" do it, I have learned to think hard about whether this is either truly necessary or something I enjoy, otherwise I won't spend energy on it. I feel like stuff gets added to the to-do list faster than it can get done - things like staining the deck, repainting the railings and cabinets, and fixing all the other things that need repairs after living in this house for four years. Triage. Staining deck - has to happen eventually to protect the wood. Make it a family project and do it together on a weekend. Painting cabinets - purely cosmetic. That can wait until you actually want to do it. Edited February 24, 2016 by regentrude 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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