Extracurricular activities/social life and hs...

[mittmaman]

At this beging of the new school-year I find myself in the ever-lasting struggle of having to choose extracurricular activities with/for the kids.

When starting to homeschool last year I fell in a frenzy of signing the kids up for as much as possible...but over the year realized that this was taking a toll on family life...

So, here I am again, wondering "how much is too much"...

DS(8) is doing swimming and playing the trumpet (both non-negotiable...for me;)). He would love to go on paying soccer and basketball...and do a cinema-club, which meets only once a month...

The girls (4 and 6) both swim and take music classes...and would also like to do the cinema-club...

 

So my question is:

Where do you draw the line about out-of-house activities?

Do you hadle this differently from what you would if your kids went to a "real school"?

Do you set limits for different ages?

Do you try to limit to certain afternoons?

 

...my kids see their friends regulary (a couple of times a week) so "exposure to the outside world" is not so much an issue...it is more the quantity-issue in regards to activities and social-life in general that troubles me.

 

I am looking forward to hearing your advice and the way you handle things in your families!

[klmama]

The big question is, what can the family handle comfortably, without too much stress for anyone. We have had times where every single evening was full of activity, and we had to cut back. Other times. even one or two activities a week have seemed too much. The best way for us is if everyone can be involved in something together, or at least at the same place at the same time with minimal waiting for different ages.

 

If I were you, my choice would be to go ahead with the once a month cinema club, since everyone can attend, but not let your ds do the soccer or basketball unless your dh can take him, giving you some special "girl time" with the young ladies. Of course, I'm not you, so you may decide differently and it will still be just fine. Do what works for your family!

[snickelfritz]

So my question is:

Where do you draw the line about out-of-house activities?

I do what we can comfortably handle. If I'm not sure about the schedule, I try to make sure some things are flexible. We've already dropped one thing and I'm trying to change another time around to make it easier on our schedule.

 

Do you hadle this differently from what you would if your kids went to a "real school"?

Yes. The private school we like has art, music and Spanish ...even at Kindergarten. I know not all public schools do that, but that's my goal. We do dance AND gymnastics to get in enough PE when the weather is yucky. We do homeschool choir to get in music.

 

Do you set limits for different ages?

Mine are both younger and the limits are usually in place by the program. They have gymnastics, Awana, and dance for both at the same time. Younger dd is too young to do homeschool choir. As much as possible, I schedule activities where they can go at the same time or one right after the other.

 

Do you try to limit to certain afternoons?

I try to limit evenings/nights so that we have family time. I've found that I need to limit mornings. Once we get out for the day, we are shot. Our best activity time is afternoon. I just schedule what I can handle.....that's where the tweaking comes in. I do try to do "back-to-back" when I can. We go out for gymnastics, grab a bite, and go to Awanas. That's one evening activity we DO have.....and dh and I go out for a date night while the kids are at Awanas.:D

 

I do try to balance what I what them to do with their interest. Dh really wants them to stay in gymnastics. Dd really likes dance. Awana and choir is non-negotiable for me. At this point, I'm able to do them all.....so we do.

[Carrie12345]

For some reason, I thought we could fit much more in with homeschooling. When ds was in the b&m school, he wasn't getting home until 4:30 or so. Many of the activities I would have liked him to do were in bigger towns, where school got out earlier. Our choices were limited, and we had a really small time frame to work with.

 

We also found that many activities for the girls would have overlapped with bus stop time. I couldn't have my 9 year old walking over a mile from the bus stop, in the winter, without sidewalks.

 

This week, we had 1 piano lesson and 2 gymnastics lessons. We were also supposed to have a drama class, a hs group meeting, and a "school" picnic, all of which were canceled or postponed. I'm really glad they were.

 

It looks like ds will stick to piano and drama, and the girls will stick to gymnastics. If things go well, I may let them sign up for the same cheer class. I would like them to do Girl Scouts, but we're going to wait until next year, when they can be in the same troop. I can only drive so much!

 

All 3 will be doing Roots and Shoots once a month and archaeology once a month, plus our hs group once a month. I like that much better than weekly activities!

 

Sometimes it does sound like way to much to me, but when I think about each child, it really isn't all that much time having fun with friends, and I do think that they get pretty lonely (and sick of each other.)

[fivetails]

Up until the past year, we were never really able to have the kids in a lot of activities because of financial issues - now that we *can*, dd11 is going nuts wanting to join everything. :tongue_smilie:

 

This is what her weeks may look like - this depends a bit on whether she enjoys each activity & whether she'll be allowed to join (notes beside them explaining)...we're still working them out, not everything has started yet..

 

Mon night - vocal lessons (started and definite)

Tues night - Pathfinders or Kung Fu

Wed night - Sea Cadets (age issue - it's for 12+, she's 11, but they may let her join because she's in grade seven..waiting to hear)

Thurs night - Youth Group at church (started and definite)

Sat morning - Kung Fu (classes are a choice of 1/week or 2/week..if she doesn't like Pathfinders, she'll probably do the 2/week with the sat & tues classes)

Sun morning & night - Sunday school, church, Youth band practice (band starts this Sun and is a definite - she's a singer)

 

for ds9, he doesn't join activities to the same level as other 9 year old boys may, due to his disabilities...but we're looking at Kids club (church), Sunday school, and possibly cub scouts. Not sure yet....Kids club is on Tues night, so that will have to be timed with whichever dd11 is doing...

 

Oh - shoot. I forgot about dd11's swimming lessons! She went through level 3 in the spring and I said she could do level 4 this fall...I don't know where those will fit...I think they have an "afterschool" class...

 

She also wants to take piano lessons and join the 'gym class' that some local hs'ers might be setting up....plus she wants to volunteer at the animal hospital during the week....and join this 'drama club' thing that is run at a theater here...erm, I think I might have to slow the kid down a little. :001_huh:

[Prairie~Phlox]

We hardly do anything. I just can't do it and refuse to. One we don't really have the money. We are in 4-H and the club meets once a moth, we are in homeschool co-op that meets twice a month (8 weeks in the fall & 8 weeks in the spring)

We attend a Bible Study on Wednesday nights at our church and dd is starting piano on Wednesday right before Bible Study, but also at our church. That's all we do. I'd go crazy if we were gone more. We value family time in the evening and so you really need to do what's best for YOUR family and not be concerned with what others are doing.

No when they are older, that might change, there's an option for homeschool high school sports, so we'll see what happens.

 

Phlox

[Danestress]

I would focus on your son. I would feel the same if you had an older daughter with two younger brothers.

 

One of my sons swims four days a week and has meets once a month that take the whole weekend. So for us "swimming" is an activty that consumes a great deal of time and money, and he does that and violin, and that's all we can handle. But if by swimming you just mean lessons once or twice a week, I think I would allow your son to be on a team with other boys - soccer or baseball or whatever you think he would like.

 

 

Where do you draw the line about out-of-house activities?

Do you hadle this differently from what you would if your kids went to a "real school"?

Do you set limits for different ages?

Do you try to limit to certain afternoons?

 

 

 

It's a moving target for us. We reevaluate regularly. I have one in swimming, one in tennis, both in violin. We are BUSY and out most afternoons. I think if my kids were in "real school" I would do less.

 

I would set limits according to age. Four year olds simply don't need to be in sports and formal lessons, though if you can swing it, it's great. I also would look at each child as an individual and let go of "fair." Some children need more activity, and some need more free time. I think as kids hit the junior high years, it's good to have them in a very vigorous, competitive sport. I would consider insisting on that. And yes, that takes a lot of Mom's time.

 

I would let your son get into a competitive sport at this age. If he wants to be a swimmer, great. Otherwise, let him try some other sports. With my oldest son, he never really got into a sport at that age, and by the time he was in junior high, he didn't believe he was good at any sport and didn't want to try to learn something new because he wanted to already be good at something. It was hard, and I felt badly that we didn't have him in something early. I wasn't a sporty kid and I am not a sporty adult, and I underestimated the importance of sports in a boy's (and many girl's) life.

[hsmamainva]

We limit sports to one per child, otherwise, we'd be running all over town!

 

My 17yo and 8yo do Tae Kwon Do, 3 nights a week

My 14yo plays baseball in the spring and fall and basketball in the winter

My 6yo takes gymnastics lessons once a week

 

My boys are involved in a Pokemon / Star Wars club that meets once a month, and they take an art class that meets once a month

 

And that's it! There may be an occasional field trip -- I try not to do more than 3 or 4 of these in a school year. If there's something we really want to see, we go as a family. (The field trip has to be something really special -- like getting into a 'usually closed to the public' government installation or free admission, whereas we'd have to pay alot more to go as a family)

[Ellie]

My criteria:

 

How I draw the line: Nothing outside the house before, oh, 3 or 4 in the afternoon, except for my weekly library jaunts (Wednesday) and field trips (Thursday). No group field trips unless they are on my field trip day, or they're so super-stupendous (and something I can't do on my own) that I'm willing to give up another day.

 

Church is Wednesday night; there were late-afternoon Highland dance classes once a week, 4-H meetings once a month (plus individual project meetings on an irregular basis); the two years we did soccer there were two practices in the afternoon (5ish) and a game every Saturday; the one year of marching youth band there were two weekday practices at 6 plus Saturday. And there were the Highland dance competitions and marching band parades and band camps and tours.

 

My dc would have done fewer things if they'd been in school.

 

Dc's ages doesn't matter.

 

Wednesday was always church; the only other inviolable day was Highland dance class.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

Oh boy, we have too many activities, I know it, but we all refuse to cut back.

 

Monday:

 

 

(early afternoon)

DS

has violin lessons, 45 min away from home. Our longest commute

 

Tuesday:

 

(early afternoon) Swim&Gym for both. This is a homeschool activity, and counts as support group for mom.

 

 

 

In the evening,

DS

has ballet, and

DD

has Highland Dancing. The schools are 5 min away from each other, and classes are at the same time.

 

Wednesday:

 

(morning)

DD

has violin lesson. The teacher isn't as far as the other teacher.

 

 

 

I will probably teach a French class, right after the violin lesson

 

 

 

DD

has gymnastics in the evening

 

 

 

I teach catechism at the same time

 

Thursday:

 

(morning)

DS

has theater.

DD

might join, but she's not fluent enough in English yet.

 

 

 

In the evening,

DS

has ballet

 

Friday:

 

(evening)

DD

has gymnastics again

 

Saturday:

 

DD

has gymastics for 4 hours

 

Sunday:

 

Catechism for the kids. I teach a second class.

 

 

In all of this, I have to fit up to 8 hours of synchro swimming for DS. We'll know his synchro schedule by this coming Sunday evening.

[Melanie]

One or both of my children will be out doing their thing nearly every evening this month. That's okay with us; we're not giving up much family time because my husband's schedule makes it possible for him to be home during the day more often than not.

 

I do have a few limits. I will not inconvenience myself for activities they do not LOVE, and I do my utmost to keep the weekends free. Sometimes my son will be rehearsing for a play or on a scout camping trip, but aside from church services, there are no regularly scheduled activities on weekends.

 

If my kids went to school, they'd have to seriously cut back - I can't imagine adding school dances and football games to what they're doing now.

[Elisabeth in IL]

My boys have swim 3 nights a week and one of them takes a CYT (Christian Youth Theater) class one day a week. They take Spanish one day a week from 2-3pm but I consider that part of their school day. This keeps us plenty busy.

[Kris]

We only do Taekwondo. There really isn't anything else around here that he wants to do, but he wouldn't have the time anyway.

[Mom2boys]

We have pared down our activities over the years. The first few years we ran too much, partly because I wanted my kids to be able to try lots of things and find what they really enjoyed, and partly because we were looking for friends. Now we are in fewer activities because we have an established group of friends, so we don't need to use scheduled activities for socialization opportunities; and homeschooling takes up more of our day than it used to. And, I just slowly found a balance that works for us. I now know we need to be home to school in the mornings. If we are gone all morning, we won't pick up our books in the afternoon. And, if we are gone too many evenings a week, everyone gets cranky.

 

My one hard-and-fast rule is "one sport per kid per season." They participate in choir and youth group through church, and then we evaluate other opportunities as they come along. This fall our schedule looks like this:

 

ds11: soccer, choir, youth group, geography co-op, and First Lego League

ds7: soccer, choir, youth group, geography co-op, and Park PE Club

 

I really encourage you to find what works for you and your children. Every family is different, and each child is different. And it may take some time to find the best balance for yuor family.

[whitestavern]

Extracurricular activities are something we struggle with a bit here. Last year we were involved in too much and a couple of the activities weren't even worthwhile in my opinion. Running around every day made me stressed and the kids stressed.

 

I would definitely cut down if my kids were in public school because I really don't like evening or weekend activities and that's when ps kids have most of their activities. Because they are home schooled I like to give them more social opportunities. We don't socialize with a lot of homeschoolers and they don't see their ps friends regularly because they get home from school so late in the day.

 

This year I'm determined to have school done by noon so we're starting a little earlier in the morning. So far we've been done before 11 almost every day. I tried to leave one day completely free from activities and so far it's going well, although not all of our activities have begun yet. In a nutshell, I try to have one "sports" activity, one "educational" activity and something of their choice. Piano and CCD are always musts. Here's what we have going on:

 

DD8: brownies (1x/mo), CCD (weekly), Piano (weekly), Irish step dancing (weekly), American Girl Club (6x/year), soccer (weekly for 6 wks)

 

DS6: geography club (weekly for 6 wks), CCD (weekly), cub scouts (2x/mo), piano (weekly), soccer (weekly for 6 weeks)