Foster parents-----anyone foster at risk teens?

[Ottakee]

We were approached last week to consider taking 1-2 at risk teen boys (ages 11-14 likely) through the juvenile community justice program that is local to us.  The teens have been involved in the court system and for any number of reasons can't return home at the moment.  Many are from the local area but some are also from all across the state.

 

They have intensive services, probation officers, counseling, etc.

 

We have fostered over 100 kids so aren't rookies.  We have had a girl through this program who was tough but we made it work (worker said she was one of the toughest cases he has had).  We have had a few other teens.  Dh worked for 5 years in in the prison, etc.

 

That all said, we need some been there, done that advice.  Things like cell phones, internet access, etc. are all things we didnt' have to deal with when we fostered younger kids.  Those 2 things change so much of the dynamics of foster care as kids can contact anyone they want using other kids cell phones at school, hiding their own, etc. 

[Melissa in Australia]

you need hugs just thinking of doing something like this     :grouphug:  :grouphug: :grouphug:  :grouphug:  

 

 

 

[Momling]

We don't foster teens, but I'd totally cheer you on if you did.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've never fostered but I've taught teens in the juvenile system.  I suppose the biggest thing would be ensuring the safety of your kids at home.  I'm sure you do that of course but I don't know if the at risk category makes it more of a risk.  

[Callie]

I've never fostered but I've taught teens in the juvenile system.  I suppose the biggest thing would be ensuring the safety of your kids at home.  I'm sure you do that of course but I don't know if the at risk category makes it more of a risk.  

I'd be concerned about my children at home.

[Ottakee]

The concern for our own kids is high on the list. Our house is set up so that these boys would sleep on one level and the girls and youger boy on another level. I know it doesn't eliminate the risk but we would not take anyone with a history of s8xually acting out. There would also be a parent here 24/7.

[Pink and Green Mom]

My knee jerk reaction was no based on the age of your kids at home.  And I wasn't necessarily thinking about s*xual abuse either.

[Garga]

nm

[Jackie]

I have fostered teens. Before that, I was the program manager for a small group home with teens in the system age 16+ who weren't expected to return home.

 

It was tough. One of the toughest things for me was sorting out my own reactions between what level of trouble I would expect from an average kid from one of the foster/group home teens. A lot of the teens in the system were sexually active (often with no protection or health care) and had at least casually used drugs previously. Many had long lived in households with very inattentive adults and simply weren't used to checking in. Quite a few were failing school, some had been behind for so long they would never be able to graduate. Most of them had friends that also were in quite a bit of trouble, and those from out of the area quickly found friends who were in quite a bit of trouble.

 

As a general rule, I actually found teens with probation/parole officers a bit easier to handle than those without them. The outside enforcement of some of the bigger issues made a big difference for some kids.

 

As far as cell phones and Internet, I did equip foster teens with a cheap dumb phone with talk and text. It needed to be plugged in to charge in the living room when they went to bed at night. Internet access was only in the living room on a very visible computer. I had passwords to any accounts. (Kids would often borrow their friends' phones at school to send messages, not realizing it would still show up on their email/Facebook accounts on the home computer.)

[Ottakee]

Jackie--thanks.  We are looking at the 12-14 year olds.  I know they can be just as much work/problem or more than some of the older ones.  We would be VERY VERY choosy about who we would accept and dh would be here when they were home.

 

The probation might be a big help as if there was any trouble, we call and they come pick them up.

[Free Indeed]

I have no words of wisdom for you. This is something that has been on my heart for some time, but I am waiting until my own children are a bit older. I can't justify the possibility of putting my own kids at risk. I was a troubled youth- and while I would have never intentionally harmed younger children I was around- my mindset, actions, and words would not have done them any good either. Unless I was sure God was telling me to (not sure if you are a Christian or not so disregard if needed) I would wait until my children were older.

[Jean in Newcastle]

FWIW, teaching the juvenile offenders was one of my favorite jobs because there were so many safeguards built into their self-contained school.  I felt much safer there because even at the lowest security level there was a panic button!  (The highest level had a guard with me at all times, plus CCTV and a panic button I wore around my neck).   We had to watch for triggers though - esp. anything gang related.  The fact that these kids are allowed to be in a home and are not on a locked campus probably means that these kids are not as hard-core.  ETA:  I never had to use the panic button or anything but it was nice to know it was there.

[jelbe5]

I worked with at risk youth and kids in the foster care system. From what I saw, it was best to foster kids who were younger than the bio children. In homes with older foster kids there were often problems, including sexual abuse on the part of the older foster child towards the younger bio child of the same sex. I'm sorry, that is crude and harsh but is an unfortunate possibility. I know you said you will not take youth who act out sexually but I personally would still be hesitant.