Afraid to move ahead with 3 year old

[carriede]

DD3.5 is pretty much doing K work. She's doing number bonds with c rods, can count and recognize numbers up to 20 (maybe more), and can read CVC words with little effort.

 

Everything we do is on her terms, and she LOVES to do table work. I'm not sure what to do with her... I don't want to move too fast, but I also want to meet her where she is. It's especially difficult because her almost 6 year old brother is just wrapping up the things she's starting (and excelling) at.

 

Advice? Commiseration? I feel like I should speed up and slow down at the same time. Doesn't help that our school year ends in 2 weeks. She'll definitely need some summer stimulation.

[Peregrine]

Personally I wouldn't rush her too much. Keep doing what you are doing!

 

This summer, read to her, make sure she is out in nature a lot. Teach her the numbers in Spanish or any language you know. Get some good art supplies and let her explore. Get swimming lessons. Maybe Suzuki piano or violin? I've used the Kumon Let's Cut! series at that age and they were a hit.

 

You could try reading lessons if she seems interested, but don't push it. I didn't start either of my older ones on 100 EZ lessons until they were 4. But maybe that would be something fun, stimulating, but not too much?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[wapiti]

FWIW, there may be some helpful threads on the Accelerated Learning board.

[Jackie]

One of the best things I've done for DD is to embrace that she is academically inclined. All the advice to take it easy ended up with her being incredibly frustrated. For her, a regular "school" schedule seriously calmed her down and she thrives on it. There are challenges in finding materials that work for her wildly varying levels, but those are challenges for me not her.

 

I agree that you should check out the AL board.

[Hunter]

I'm best known for being rabidly defensive of a child's right not to be pushed, but I'm just as passionate about a child's right to be accelerated if Mom has the resources to accommodate that without disrupting the family.

 

I taught myself to read at 4 years old, daily risking being hit to ask adults single words that I memorized and then decoded and applied to new words. I was desperate for reading instruction and requests for it were met with anger and refusal. Some kids NEED instruction, as much as they need food. As a child I used to sometimes literally sob, for lack of a book to read. Lack of appropriate books resulted in me being exposed to a more eclectic reading list than I would have otherwise chosen, so in the long run it probably was okay.

 

The funny thing is that my illiterate step-dad was my biggest advocate and I'm really thankful my mom married him. I was such an obedient and submissive and helpful child, that the rare times when I sobbed, he noticed and cared. I can remember him looking so confused but saying to my mom, "Betty, get her a book!" It was such an easy fix and he wished the other 6 children could be so easily managed.

 

When my youngest wasn't provided enough stimulation he used to self-harm. He didn't necessarily need academics, but he needed directed activity. We were SO poor and isolated at the time. We did a lot of planting of seeds and kitchen scraps, "painting" the porch with water, insect catching, and cooking.

 

My oldest was my Waldorf wannabe and didn't read till he was 8. Artist, dreamer and late but BIG bloomer. The stories of him are those I'm best known for.

 

Different people have different needs.

 

Good luck! :grouphug:

[rwilk]

DD3.5 is pretty much doing K work. She's doing number bonds with c rods, can count and recognize numbers up to 20 (maybe more), and can read CVC words with little effort.

 

Everything we do is on her terms, and she LOVES to do table work. I'm not sure what to do with her... I don't want to move too fast, but I also want to meet her where she is. It's especially difficult because her almost 6 year old brother is just wrapping up the things she's starting (and excelling) at.

 

Advice? Commiseration? I feel like I should speed up and slow down at the same time. Doesn't help that our school year ends in 2 weeks. She'll definitely need some summer stimulation.

 My DD is basically the same age as yours, and in the same place as yours.  We started in sept doing letter of the week type things, and quickly realized it was way behind where she was.  Since January or so, we've been doing formal phonics work and organized math things. We aim for about 30-60 minutes a day of school-y things.  

 

The biggest issue I've encountered is that she never wants a break. There's no vacation with her.  She insists on continuing, pushing ahead.  In July we are changing things up a bit, and basically doing a complex rotation of 8 total things (2-3 per day, 6 days a week) to keep things interesting and different.  We are doing: 1) phonics, 2) MEP math 1, 3) a mom-made read aloud list of 1-2 chapter books and 5-10 picture books/week, 4) manipulative based exploration math, 5) logic, 6) Moving beyond the page 4-5, 7) science of the early universe/earth, and 8) pre-history cultural and social development stuff.  She's picked out a lot of it, and asked for more variety/structure, so that's what we are doing :)

 

So for us, I think we are slowing down by adding variety. I have no clue if it will work, and of course, your mileage may vary ;)

[carriede]

Thanks everybody. I like the idea of advancing/slowing down through variety. I have her signed up tons tart her first gymnastics class in a few weeks, so that'll be good two.

[rebcoola]

We liked adding lots of puzzles, and logic books, critical thinking company has some great ones and they are having a sale all month.

[texasmama]

I have boys two years apart who are curriculum twins. For several years, I suffered angst over the older's feelings about his younger brother doing the same level work as younger son creeped up on older son 's level. In all honesty, it was dealt with fairly well in one or two conversations. There was a hard year of them doing the same pre-A program, and now they are in different ones, both Algebra.

[desertflower]

I feel for you. I sort of know what you are going through. Except it's the other way around for me. I have to use different programs so one doesn't feel incompetent.

 

It's hard. You don't want to stifle one child nor make the other one feel inferior.

 

Hugs and good luck.

[Sarah0000]

I go through the same thing, except this is my oldest child. I read a lot about CM and better late than early when my child was first born, and now at three years old I constantly struggle with the fear of pushing him.

 

Anyway, it is helpful to have a lot of different resources for the same thing, because of how quickly he burns through them. Our preschool kind of looks backwards in that I don't focus on the three Rs much, just provide the resources for him and play games. We do a lot of what other people would call extra curricular at this age: Geography, foreign language, history, science, art study, piano, music appreciation, map skills, etc.

[KrissiK]

If she wants to go, let her go! That's not pushing. If it's her desire to be stimulated academically then go for it! You're not hurting her.

[Hunter]

At one point, my younger was several years ahead of the older in maths. But my older had other strengths. We were forced very early on to just see each child as "different", not ahead or behind the other. I didn't do anything to try and hide their differences and in fact tried to teach them to use each other's strengths as team players.

 

At the time, we were hanging at the edge of an ultra-conservative Mennonite church, so crushing pride and team work was emphasized even beyond what I said to them. Yes, we need to have compassion for a child's natural feelings of competition, but sometimes instead of placating them, we need to teach them team skills that will be of benefit as adults. They take our cues from us. If we REALLY think it is insignificant what level math a child is in beyond it's possible benefits to his group/clan/family, they will be greatly influenced by that. We might not want to take it as far as the Amish and Mennonites, but adopting their beliefs sure seemed healthy for my boys at the time. There was a period if time where I didn't give comparison of the math book labels much more consideration than comparison of their shoe sizes.

[hisforhomeschooling]

I came on specifically to ask about this same concern. Love the suggestions!

 

My middle DS will be 4 in June and he has done nearly every page beside his brother of the BJU K5 program. By choice. If he didn't want to do it, I gave him manipulatives or crayons or something like that and let him listen.

 

We are adding more subjects next year so that will help, I think. I'm going to use OPGTTR for both of them next year, but start in different places. DS3 will be picking up at blends or long vowels (depending. He is halfway through the first set of BOB books so we will see what happens over the summer) and DS5 will be doing different vowel combinations and compound words.

 

I think I have kind of decided that anything he is doing puts him waaaay ahead of his public PreK counterparts and I am going to take it a day at a time and let him set the tone. He's so ahead in reading and math, I just want to continue giving him practice in both. His writing is sloppy but he can do a sentence of copywork legibly so I will probably just have him do the shorter sentence in WWE while DS5 does the longer one and work on letter formation.

 

Anyway, just thinking out loud but I can definitely relate!

[Staceyshoe]

When I tried to slow down my oldest, it caused him a lot of emotional stress.  Some kids really crave learning.  The beauty of homeschooling is that you can individualize for your child.  If you aren't comfortable going through curriculum/levels quickly, you can "go broad" as well as "go deep" (e.g., through foreign language, music lessons, etc that stimulate the mind).

[FO4UR]

My 2nd child taught herself to read at 3, eaves dropping on the 5yo's lessons.  You can't hold those kids back.  They won't let you.

 

 

I've found it important to troubleshoot instead of teach.  For a 3yo, that is probably teaching correct letter formation before she makes up her own...and becomes rigidly set in her ways.  Buddy read and read aloud so she gets the correct pronunciations of words.  Hit phonics through spelling.  Put away any reading material emotionally inappropriate for a young child.  

 

 

Watch out for the little one too.  My precocious reader was also my little teacher.  She mimicked the lesson I gave the 6yo (at 4yo) to her 3yo brother.  Everything she knew (right or wrong LOL) was taught to her little student.  I gave her a set of Explode the Code workbooks.  They played school, and dd (ages 4-6) taught her little brother a ton (ages 3-5).  

 

 

I agree with broadening her scope with extracurriculars, music, art, etc...  

[mommy2ella]

I was in the same situation at that age.  I didn't want to start "formal" school with her until much later, but she craved a challenge.  So I found a compromise - I still didn't start math or spelling or formal reading lessons, but I did start getting a lot of easy readers and letting her go at those, helping her as she needed.  I got a ton of science books to read with her, and we played with math in our daily lives.  We also would do lots of puzzle/logic type games.  At that age, Lollipop Logic and Can You Find Me books were fun.  And, always, we read beautiful picture books for hours every day.  She could never get enough of that.  She also listened to wonderful audio books daily during quiet time.  I think that even driven kids can have plenty to keep them happy and learning without formal school at that age, and I'm glad we waited to begin.