maize Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I would especially love to hear from those with a few years of experience teaching three or more children under their belt. How do you keep up the pace, give each child the attention they need, manage the household,and still find sufficient balance in life to not burn out? Do you outsource? Hire household help? Schedule regular breaks and planning time? School year round so you can schedule flexibly? Take the summer off to refresh yourself? I'm trying to work out a new balance with ds4 folding into the lesson schedule and a new baby in the mix. Right now there doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Creating a school calendar and a daily routine was vital for me. I do not thrive in chaos. I need order, seriously. Creating a joyful learning atmosphere for me depends on things being organized, neat, and decluttered. We start school the first week of Aug (sometimes that means the end of July is in there ;) ). We generally do school in 6-8 week chunks followed by a week off. (It depends on holidays and when my dh might have time off work. We always take a full week off at Thanksgiving and only have 3 weeks between that and 2 weeks off for Christmas.) We normally finish the middle of May with at least 10-11 weeks off for summer. (But, unfortunately, this yr between illnesses (golly, my kids got sick a lot this yr) and a family crisis which caused me to shut down school we are 3weeks behind schedule. :( ) We all need to know when our breaks are. The kids and I all can work harder for longer when we know that break is just around the corner. I need my weeks off to organize, run extra errands, planned drs appts, etc. I need summers off to simply rejuvenate and get organized for the next yr. My daily routine keeps us flowing. :) 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Another Lynn Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Routine is good! And relax the standards for each of those: keep up with the pace, manage the household, and give each child attention. I'm not a 1950s homemaker. Just as an example: because of years of morning sickness it became our pattern that DH does the grocery shopping. Meals, cleaning, managing the household are the things that suffer the most here. They keep me around anyway, lol! As far as hiring some help.... When our last was born, I had a college student come in for 3 hours once a week to read to, play with, do pre-school type stuff with dc #3 and #4. She really became a good friend, part of the family, and our babysitter when we needed one. After we got to know her so well, sometimes we just all enjoyed her visit. Even if I didn't accomplish something great with the time she was here, it was a major morale boost when she came. (Part of that time was during dh's deployment too.) I also had cleaning help during last pregnancy and maybe again during dh's deployment (I can't remember). As much as I would love cleaning help again, it really disrupts everything to have someone in the house. It distracts the kids, etc. and ends up being a time waster - though it does get the house clean better and faster than I could do it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleGreen Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 At my house your 4 wouldn't really be getting folded into the mix formally. Now on my fourth and final (!) kindergartener, I can say we approach kindergarten very informally. I make sure we read aloud daily, play games a couple of times a week and generally make space and time in the schedule to explore, wonder and be. I have some math and phonics activities available for when the k'er wants something more focused, but I would say that gets chosen maybe 1x-2/week. My current k'er is very into science, so we have purchased a couple of science kits to explore as desired. The next two oldest help the k'er if I am otherwise engaged. I agree with 8 and others that scheduling is vital. I have the tendency to just keep barreling through school because, "Yay! We are getting so much done and taking off will disrupt our momentum!" I have finally realized we all do better with a little regular down time and taking breaks allows us (me!) to regroup, refocus and refresh. I also find automating reoccurring tasks to be a huge help in managing our house and avoiding burnout. I am not always great about this, but when I have tasks such as dinner and laundry clicking along life is much smoother. My oldest had many more formal science and history lessons than my others. I have sort of dropped that for my youngers. My 11 year old prefers a more unit type approach for history and science, so we've tackled it that way the past two years. My current 3rd grader gleans from the older kids' lessons and any picture books we read. Next year we will take a slightly more focused approach for grade 4. This all makes me sound very unschooly, which I am decidedly not. People who know me IRL would completely crack up at that thought. I just realized at some point in the last few years that I was burning myself out trying to get everything done in a highly structured, formal manner. We work consistently and diligently on a daily basis. I try to cover a variety of topics via read aloud for my youngers. I am ever mindful that these elementary years are not forever. I don't want to burn them (and myself) out doing a bunch of formal lessons because they can do it, when in a few short years (middle school) they are developmentally and naturally ready for a more focused approach. Again, I find working diligently and consistently to be the key for us. I keep the end goal in mind and spend the early elementary years working incrementally on acquiring the skills needed to be successful learners throughout their school careers. That has been the best remedy for avoiding burnout. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted April 2, 2015 Author Share Posted April 2, 2015 Creating a school calendar and a daily routine was vital for me. I do not thrive in chaos. I need order, seriously. Creating a joyful learning atmosphere for me depends on things being organized, neat, and decluttered. We start school the first week of Aug (sometimes that means the end of July is in there ;) ). We generally do school in 6-8 week chunks followed by a week off. (It depends on holidays and when my dh might have time off work. We always take a full week off at Thanksgiving and only have 3 weeks between that and 2 weeks off for Christmas.) We normally finish the middle of May with at least 10-11 weeks off for summer. (But, unfortunately, this yr between illnesses (golly, my kids got sick a lot this yr) and a family crisis which caused me to shut down school we are 3weeks behind schedule. :( ) We all need to know when our breaks are. The kids and I all can work harder for longer when we know that break is just around the corner. I need my weeks off to organize, run extra errands, planned drs appts, etc. I need summers off to simply rejuvenate and get organized for the next yr. My daily routine keeps us flowing. :) I am thinking I should sit down with my calendar and schedule in some breaks. I haven't really done that in the past because I like having a consistent routine for the kids and the flexibility to take breaks as needed. That worked great when I only had littles and academic demands were light, but with things ramping up for my olders (and for me!) I can really see the benefit of knowing "we need to push hard for x many weeks, then we get a break". I think we will keep going year-round, but maybe do 4 weeks on 1 week off? I'll have to think about this. Or may rotate heavy and light weeks, with the light weeks being just math, foreign language, and music because those are skills that really benefit from consistent practice. We have a heavy extracurricular schedule and I don't see that changing, my kids seem to benefit immensely from structured physical activities like dance and tumbling. That really makes year-round schooling appealing because it means we don't have to push as hard on a daily basis and the kids can still have time for free play and personal interests. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted April 2, 2015 Author Share Posted April 2, 2015 At my house your 4 wouldn't really be getting folded into the mix formally. Now on my fourth and final (!) kindergartener, I can say we approach kindergarten very informally. I make sure we read aloud daily, play games a couple of times a week and generally make space and time in the schedule to explore, wonder and be. I have some math and phonics activities available for when the k'er wants something more focused, but I would say that gets chosen maybe 1x-2/week. My current k'er is very into science, so we have purchased a couple of science kits to explore as desired. The next two oldest help the k'er if I am otherwise engaged. I agree with 8 and others that scheduling is vital. I have the tendency to just keep barreling through school because, "Yay! We are getting so much done and taking off will disrupt our momentum!" I have finally realized we all do better with a little regular down time and taking breaks allows us (me!) to regroup, refocus and refresh. I also find automating reoccurring tasks to be a huge help in managing our house and avoiding burnout. I am not always great about this, but when I have tasks such as dinner and laundry clicking along life is much smoother. My oldest had many more formal science and history lessons than my others. I have sort of dropped that for my youngers. My 11 year old prefers a more unit type approach for history and science, so we've tackled it that way the past two years. My current 3rd grader gleans from the older kids' lessons and any picture books we read. Next year we will take a slightly more focused approach for grade 4. This all makes me sound very unschooly, which I am decidedly not. People who know me IRL would completely crack up at that thought. I just realized at some point in the last few years that I was burning myself out trying to get everything done in a highly structured, formal manner. We work consistently and diligently on a daily basis. I try to cover a variety of topics via read aloud for my youngers. I am ever mindful that these elementary years are not forever. I don't want to burn them (and myself) out doing a bunch of formal lessons because they can do it, when in a few short years (middle school) they are developmentally and naturally ready for a more focused approach. Again, I find working diligently and consistently to be the key for us. I keep the end goal in mind and spend the early elementary years working incrementally on acquiring the skills needed to be successful learners throughout their school careers. That has been the best remedy for avoiding burnout. I actually prefer a very relaxed approach to early schooling, but my current four year old is asking for lessons in reading and math and cello. Planning him into the lesson schedule also means he gets some focused attention from me every day. I find that I have to make an extra effort to give one on one attention to my middle kids; the oldest kids get more attention because they have heavier academics and because they are the first to do everything so I put a lot of time and thought and effort into figuring things out for them. The littlest ones get a lot of time and attention because they are so little and need Mommy so much. The middles can get lost in the shuffle if I don't very intentionally make time for them. I am just starting to understand the importance of scheduled breaks, thank you for sharing your experience! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 For me... I'm a big picture thinker. If the bulk of what we're doing is moving us forward, according to my vision, I can suffer through a whole pile of annoying details. I mean for years. I will put up with endless fuss and annoyance if only it's working out for what I really want. It's only when the details pile up so high that they finally obscure the vision that I realize I should have put more safeguards in place during the good times. More rest and respite built into the schedule, more community, a wider range of acceptable outcomes so "struggle" doesn't look like "failure." I mean, one can learn all that stuff on the fly (see Tibbie's 2014 :scared: ) but surely it's better to plan for it. Multum non multa. Clarity of vision, simple methods, so when life overwhelms the base level is still easy to find. There's an awful lot of gravy that can poured onto a very full plate, and that's wonderful, but I guess I'm saying know what your meat and potatoes are. LOL Because that's what remains when you have to scale back and deal with inevitable stuff. And when you do attend to that base level, no matter what, you will still reach your goals. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Mom of 4. Summers off. I really looked forward to having a summer break. Sundays...a day of rest. Very tempting to catch up on Sunday, but rest is just as important as accomplishing stuff. So I plan easy meals, paper plates, and a Guilt Free Nap/Guilt Free afternoon of enjoyable activity. When I had very small ones, I really needed time ALONE. My dh and I took art classes together. I hid away andd sewed during quiet time. I had to PLAN my time away from the family or it wouldn't happen. Simple household routines, simple holiday expectations, use open and go curriculum got more important the more kids I had. I stopped apologizing or feeling guilty because my kids couldn't do x because of time, money or mama stress. I just quit. We're a family. The bigs sometimes sacrifice for the littles and vice versa. I stopped shoulding. I minimized what I needed as far as stuff. Did the same for the kids. Stuff complicates our life. It means one more thing to maintain, organize, and clean. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pehp Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 My homeschooling mentor has older (4 are successful adults) and one younger child. So that's 5! And she told me she has never once, ever, experienced burnout, in over 20 years of homeschooling. Her wisdom on avoiding burnout has been: *simplifying curriculum choices--she tries to be a real minimalist *daily chores/housekeeping tasks *SUMMERS OFF! All this has worked well for her b/c her children have all succeeded brilliantly in academics, have learned life skills and have found their vocations. So I internalize her wisdom and I do think it's helping me. I only have 2 children, though, so ultimately I think it'll be easier for me to avoid burnout than it would for someone w/ more children. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 My homeschooling mentor has older (4 are successful adults) and one younger child. So that's 5! And she told me she has never once, ever, experienced burnout, in over 20 years of homeschooling. Her wisdom on avoiding burnout has been: *simplifying curriculum choices--she tries to be a real minimalist *daily chores/housekeeping tasks *SUMMERS OFF! All this has worked well for her b/c her children have all succeeded brilliantly in academics, have learned life skills and have found their vocations. So I internalize her wisdom and I do think it's helping me. I only have 2 children, though, so ultimately I think it'll be easier for me to avoid burnout than it would for someone w/ more children. She would be the first 'lifer' I've heard of to never admit to experiencing burnout. The rest of us go through tough seasons and hopefully come out the other side, knowing those hard times will likely come again. I guess I'd wonder how she defines burnout? If she means burning all the way out, to the point of either failing her dc academically or quitting hs'ing to enroll them in school, then she's in good company. Many of us have 'made it' all the way through K-12 with one or (many) more children, in spite of really hard times and fatigue, and the family is the stronger for it. But if she means she's never been bone tired to the point of researching local schools on a thrice-daily basis...If she's never gone through George Bailey levels of self-doubt, EVER, concerning any of her children for any amount of time no matter how short, never had her homeschool derailed by her own burned out energy during a major move, illness, death in the family, or other life crisis...I'm skeptical. Doesn't everybody have that happen, just because life? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8filltheheart Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 She would be the first 'lifer' I've heard of to never admit to experiencing burnout. The rest of us go through tough seasons and hopefully come out the other side, knowing those hard times will likely come again. I guess I'd wonder how she defines burnout? If she means burning all the way out, to the point of either failing her dc academically or quitting hs'ing to enroll them in school, then she's in good company. Many of us have 'made it' all the way through K-12 with one or (many) more children, in spite of really hard times and fatigue, and the family is the stronger for it. But if she means she's never been bone tired to the point of researching local schools on a thrice-daily basis...If she's never gone through George Bailey levels of self-doubt, EVER, concerning any of her children for any amount of time no matter how short, never had her homeschool derailed by her own burned out energy during a major move, illness, death in the family, or other life crisis...I'm skeptical. Doesn't everybody have that happen, just because life? I agree with most of this, but I have never been so burned out that I have thought at all about enrolling my kids in school. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I agree with most of this, but I have never been so burned out that I have thought at all about enrolling my kids in school. I have, during this past year which was really rough on our family. I kind of felt "used up." I researched every school within 30 miles of here, to try to figure out if I'm really doing enough (I am), or to guess what the students are actually learning (impossible to tell) and consider whether my kids would want to join them (they don't). Mostly it was just an exercise in checking if the grass is greener; nothing more, except: I did go so far as to make the phone call to the guidance office -- not for all of my children but for one teen who really wanted to be in band, which isn't possible for hs'ers in my all-or-nothing state -- but I never did get to the point of really envisioning him there. It helped that the school people didn't think he should be there, either. So he's not going. For the other three, ps really would be an over-my-dead-body scenario. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pehp Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 She enrolled one daughter in private school after having a new baby, for one year, until she got a handle on the new baby thing. That was her fourth child, who was about 7 when new baby was born. The other, older kids, were pretty self-sufficient at that point. ETA: I am sure she has been concerned about her children from time to time. That's definitely life! They have never moved since their oldest was a toddler and I don't know of any major health crises, so there's that. She doesn't spend time researching curricula. She picked one thing (an all-in-one) curriculum for her oldest and has used it without batting an eye ever since. I swear, this is true!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I haven't been successful in avoiding burn-out. I have been moderately successful in managing it. (This is my 7th year...there must be truth in that.) I delegate chores, and DO MY WORK anyway even when the kids do slip-shod work. I let.it.go...until *I* am good and ready to deal with it. I have work that is M.I.N.E. and cannot be undone by little hands, work that is meaningful, work that I enjoy, work that I can point to at the end of a bad day and know that it wasn't all a waste. (It's never a waste, but there are days when I wonder!) Pray for spring so I can send the kids outside....LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! What else? Plan for next year b/c next year is fresh and clean with no mistakes in it. (Read some Anne or Pollyanna or ....) I wish I could hire help. I'd hire a mother's helper in the mornings and a housekeeper to come on Saturdays to do all the deep cleaning. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Targhee Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I don't know if I can speak to this well, because I wrestle with the burnout issue frequently. Here's what has been helpful though, and at least kept us going: Co-op - this is actually a lot fo work too, and I ended up on the board, but it is a break from our daily routine that everyone looks forward too. It also gives me 1-2 hours of either solitude or chatting with her moms. It has become a comunity of support as well, which helps keeps us all motivated. These are mostly enrichment classes, and only the 12 year old gets homework. We go once a week for 4.5 hours. Online classes - I have my 12 yr old in 2 online classes (AoPS and Williamsburg Intermediate). Frees me up a bit. Areas/Times of Focus - This yearI have found switching focus to different times of the year help. For example, in August we started up our school year with all subjects. By the end of October we were doing mainly math, science, latin, and our morning basket (with copywork, read alouds, artist/composer study, biographies, etc). We had a LOT of science going on. Oldest was still doing literature and writing with her online and co-op classes, but structured history and language arts was not beng taught by me. Now that our sciences are wrapping up we are switching to a language focus, and starting up our history again. Math, Latin, and morning basket are still going on too. We will finish our school year at the end of June, and start up again in August. I am sure by the end of October we will switch back to science focus. Lots of little breaks - I intentionally have our school year be 11 months long, so that we can take breaks as needed. We usually don't do school on birthdays, or if family comes to visit, or if there's great weather (you have to take the sun when it comes in the PNW) and we choose to go for a hike. These intermediate breaks, along with 2 weeks at Christmas, a week in March, and usually a week long trip in September, give us a chance to relax and be ready to refocus. Rotating Kids - my older three are either 1) working with me, 2) working indpendently, or 3) playingn with/reading to the three year old. That way I don't feel like I am jumping from kid to kid to kid all the time. Curriculum they can do on their own or in a group - my kids are all together for morning basket. History is also all together. Science usually involves the oldest two, but sometimes the 8 year old too, at the same time (except when they study independently). Oldest does math independently. Middle two do it about 60-70% independent (I am mostly there for consultation), because we laid a very strong foundation in their first years and because the BA books don't really require you to teach the lesson. All thre do Latin indepedently (SSL, GSWL, and Latin Prep), and I look over their work and go over anything they miss or don't seem to have grasped. I do teach writing directly, and in the fall we review handwriting with direct instruction. For spelling #3 uses ETC for now, #2 finished through AAS 3 and is a natural speller, #1 is a lost cause after years of different spelling approaches (she knows how type and how to check her spelling). Grammar we get through Latin. Family Work (aka chores) - we all work together on Saturday to clean the house. This is something we've been doing for years, and it has taken that long to make a habit of it. They also have a morning job (feeding animals, dishwasher, etc). I try to take care of cooking, kitchen cleaning, laundry, shopping, and DH takes charge outside in the yard. When there's something big to do like spring cleaning, we all work together, in the same room at the same time. It makes it go so much faster. And then I try to remember why I homeschool. This gives me greater determination to stay the course. Best wishes! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleGreen Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I actually prefer a very relaxed approach to early schooling, but my current four year old is asking for lessons in reading and math and cello. Planning him into the lesson schedule also means he gets some focused attention from me every day. I find that I have to make an extra effort to give one on one attention to my middle kids; the oldest kids get more attention because they have heavier academics and because they are the first to do everything so I put a lot of time and thought and effort into figuring things out for them. The littlest ones get a lot of time and attention because they are so little and need Mommy so much. The middles can get lost in the shuffle if I don't very intentionally make time for them. I am just starting to understand the importance of scheduled breaks, thank you for sharing your experience! Yes, I sometimes think the desire for lessons from those 4s and 5s is because they realize that is how they can get some one-on-one time with Mom. And then there are some who are just ready! :001_smile: Mine will bring the math book to the table and request we do a lesson, but it ebbs and flows very much. When I have planned lessons, there isn't really a desire to participate on a regular basis. School is a way to connect with me during the day. Anyway, I hear you on the immense challenges juggling multiple learners! It is really hard sometimes. My last two tips for avoiding burnout-take care of yourself and try not to let school consume your everything (I am very guilty of the latter because I really do love all things education, but I have realized it is good to have something outside of that for me). 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I don't really have any good advice. Just when I was starting to feel burned out we moved and I got a new homeschool room which somehow gave me a new lease on life! Maybe consider re-doing your space? Anyway, the reason I posted is because I remember SWB's announcement about her lecture on why burnout happens and what to do. I think it came out last fall. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I don't really have any good advice. Just when I was starting to feel burned out we moved and I got a new homeschool room which somehow gave me a new lease on life! Maybe consider re-doing your space? And...frustration over my hs space is part of my burn-out!!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pehp Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I agree that SPACE is helpful. A place to put stuff, or do stuff, is so good for mental health sometimes. I also think *for me* that personal space and time are essential. I have a babysitter for four hours on Friday and I write and read and enjoy myself ALONE. (I am an introvert; by Friday I'm zapped.) My husband is also very good about encouraging me to run away and be alone, so I can re-fill my cup. An extrovert might need lunch out with friends or something like that. My aforementioned homeschooling mentor never really did this b/c she didn't need it. I desperately need it! And for me personally keeping my house clean is pretty important. I become a cranky person if my nest is not fairly clean and tidy. It's not perfect. but I need to have a level of tidiness and cleanliness that *I* like. I devote about 30 concentrated minutes each day on my chores and the house stays nice. Major mental health dividends from this! And it means I don't have to have a cleaning marathon before company comes, or whatever. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted April 7, 2015 Share Posted April 7, 2015 Not long ago there was a thread here on this very topic that you might find helpful. Found it! And one of its companion threads, too! http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/542149-so-sanity-savers-avoiding-burnout-realistic-expectations/ http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/542293-so-of-a-so-what-have-you-outsourced/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.