If your DH/partner comes home from work late, how do you deal with dinner?

[MiMi 4under3]

You really don't think it's kind of cold to be like, "Hey, I know you were just gone for 12 hours, but we're watching a movie here, so go ahead and make your own dinner"? I would love for him to deal with his own food, but it just feels like something I should be doing for him. (Not as a general principle or anything, just based on how I feel our division of labor plays out.)

 

My DH works unpredictable / late hours. I wouldn't feel right if he came home and didn't have a hot meal waiting for him, even if it inconvenienced me. 

 

But he's not picky if, say, the roast chicken has been sitting out for an hour and is luke warm, and if I just heat up the rice.

[Joules]

I struggled with that for years and gave up! Now we eat a big hot breakfast together each morning. The time is so much more predictable than evening. Ds and I cook our big meal of the day at lunch. Dh could warm up leftovers for dinner or take them for lunch the next day. Does your dh have a microwave at work? The evening meal at our house is usually just yogurt or cereal, but that is manageable, because we eat big meals in the morning and lunch.

 

This may just work for us because ds and I are morning people, but I thought I'd throw the idea out there. It has made our meal life much more peaceful and pleasant.

[Ausmumof3]

I haven't read the whole thread.

 

I've dealt with this on and off for eight years now and it's horrible. All the studies show that family dinners together are so important but stupid work cultures mess with it.

 

Anyway there are five ways we dealt with it...

 

Early kid dinner of sandwiches or something, then a proper main meal for adults later. This works occasionally, but not ideal nutritionally in the long term.

 

Crockpot type dinner that stays hot. Again this is ok occasionally but my kids aren't great at eating crockpot type food and we get sick of it too.

 

Reheat able food like curry and rice etc. this was the best for us, although I don't use a microwave so reheating is tricky.

 

Salad with grilled meat. The salad is all ready to go and the meat is only a five minute cook.

 

Heavy duty afternoon snack for kids and a whiole family late night. Only works if your kids can and will sleep in.

 

Different approaches work better at different times. An occasional light meal for the kids or late night is no big deal but when it happens every night you have to handle it differently.

 

Thankfully right now dh is home by 530 most nights and life is so much more peaceful.

[EKS]

I prepare a plate, put it in the refrigerator, and then pop it in the microwave when the late person gets home.  If there is salad, I leave off the dressing and put it in the refrigerator in a separate bowl.

[Indian summer]

When you're plating food for the rest of you, plate your Dh's too (hot stuff only) and pop it into the oven with the light on. It'll stay hot til he gets home.

 

Don't put dressing directly onto the entire salad. His portion will stay fresh that way in the fridge.

[redsquirrel]

No warming drawer. My entire kitchen is ancient and ridiculously designed and drives me crazy, but we have no money to do anything but deal with it for right now  :banghead:

 

It never occurred to me, but yes, I can make his salad (our usual side) when I make ours and just pop a lid on it. That's great. And we'll definitely be having more soups as the weather gets colder, those are good. No one here likes anything I have ever made from the crockpot, so I don't even bother with it anymore. We eat fairly low-carb, so I don't make casseroles or anything like that. For example, tonight's dinner will be grilled sirloin and asparagus on the side. He doesn't mind the asparagus at room temperature, but he'll want the sirloin heated up.

 

You really don't think it's kind of cold to be like, "Hey, I know you were just gone for 12 hours, but we're watching a movie here, so go ahead and make your own dinner"? I would love for him to deal with his own food, but it just feels like something I should be doing for him. (Not as a general principle or anything, just based on how I feel our division of labor plays out.)

 

I know I missed a bunch of replies. Going back to read them now!

 

You really do need a microwave.  Most food is better reheated in the micro than in the oven. If you have a micro you can even make entrees and freeze them and he can reheat easily.

 

And no, I dont think it is 'cold' for him to make his own dinner. I have been working all day as well, and he is an adult. Honestly, he would feel uncomfortable if I popped up at 10pm or whatever and cooked him a meal. That is not how our relationship works, but whatever works for you is what what works for you.

 

And our family dinners fell apart a long time ago. Our oldest is in ballet until 6:45  most days and the younger also has his own classes two days a week. Plus dh's schedule and he is in two bands and they have rehearsals, means that we often aren't home at the same time. Now that I think of it, it has been years since I made a real sit down dinner. Even if dh is home at 6pm there is a good chance he is making his own dinner while he gets ready to run out the door again. Course, the same goes for me. Sometimes we eat together at 8 or 9 after the kids are in bed and we get hungry.

 

There are a lot of ways to spend time together. It doesn't have to be about dinner. My dh became a 'ballet dad' when the boys started dancing. He is backstage every rehearsal and every show. He volunteers with set building and takes the boys with him so they know how to use tools and set up theater lights, etc. He has done bedtime since the boys were weaned. He still reads to them every night before bed. He makes no plans for the weekends except for being with them, and to get a run in, lol. His gigs don't start until 9 or 10pm, so it doesn't interfere. He took on teaching duties for Algebra with our oldest. My boys spend a lot more time with their dad than any of their peers, so I am not worried that our dinner time is a bit of a mess.

 

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

You really do need a microwave.  Most food is better reheated in the micro than in the oven. If you have a micro you can even make entrees and freeze them and he can reheat easily.

 

There are a lot of ways to spend time together. It doesn't have to be about dinner.

 

 

Isn't that funny? I actually think the food I reheat in the toaster oven is better than anything we ever reheated in a microwave (with the exception of things like soup, which don't taste any different to me when I reheat on the stovetop, of course). I never liked reheating food in the microwave because it would heat unevenly, the edges would get dry, meat would get cardboard-y, etc. The microwave isn't going to happen, because we just don't have the money or space for it right now. (Honestly, who designs a kitchen with four walls, only one of which has counter space, which it also shares with the sink and stovetop?!) But I think I've gotten enough great suggestions and advice that a combination of them is going to make my life easier.

 

I agree with you about family time. We spend plenty of time together as a family, and I credit homeschooling for that. DH works weekends and comes home late at night. If our girls were in school, he'd literally almost never see them :( That part doesn't concern me at all.

[Cinder]

Isn't that funny? I actually think the food I reheat in the toaster oven is better than anything we ever reheated in a microwave (with the exception of things like soup, which don't taste any different to me when I reheat on the stovetop, of course). I never liked reheating food in the microwave because it would heat unevenly, the edges would get dry, meat would get cardboard-y, etc.

 

I know this won't apply to your situation now but for possible future reference: when you reheat food in the microwave always do it on half power. (So generally twice the amount of time total.) It's not truly half power; it heats at full power for a few seconds then doesn't heat for a few seconds. (You'll hear the power turning on and off.) This allows the food to heat more evenly which reduces cold spots and overcooked spots and the resulting leathery-ness of meats. My dc all know this is the *right* way to reheat food; still trying to get dh to see the error of his ways. :laugh:

 

I'm glad you were able to glean some useful information from this thread to help make things easier for you. :grouphug:

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

I know this won't apply to your situation now but for possible future reference: when you reheat food in the microwave always do it on half power. (So generally twice the amount of time total.) It's not truly half power; it heats at full power for a few seconds then doesn't heat for a few seconds. (You'll hear the power turning on and off.) This allows the food to heat more evenly which reduces cold spots and overcooked spots and the resulting leathery-ness of meats. My dc all know this is the *right* way to reheat food; still trying to get dh to see the error of his ways. :laugh:

 

I'm glad you were able to glean some useful information from this thread to help make things easier for you. :grouphug:

 

Oh, that's interesting to know! When I do use a microwave (usually at co-op or my parents') I rarely use full power, but I often get impatient standing there and walk away and leave the food in for too long and end up with the same result :lol: I think I just need to be more patient!

 

Thanks :grouphug: I almost posted this question several times over the last few months, but I never did because it felt like a silly question--like, this is just how it is, so deal with it. I should have known the Hive would come through with tweaks and tips I'd never have thought of myself!

[KungFuPanda]

Isn't that funny? I actually think the food I reheat in the toaster oven is better than anything we ever reheated in a microwave (with the exception of things like soup, which don't taste any different to me when I reheat on the stovetop, of course). I never liked reheating food in the microwave because it would heat unevenly, the edges would get dry, meat would get cardboard-y, etc. The microwave isn't going to happen, because we just don't have the money or space for it right now. (Honestly, who designs a kitchen with four walls, only one of which has counter space, which it also shares with the sink and stovetop?!) But I think I've gotten enough great suggestions and advice that a combination of them is going to make my life easier.

 

I agree with you about family time. We spend plenty of time together as a family, and I credit homeschooling for that. DH works weekends and comes home late at night. If our girls were in school, he'd literally almost never see them :( That part doesn't concern me at all.

I'm with you. Microwaving is the least tasty method of reheating. It's only benefit is speed.

 

Here is where I admit that I routinely serve 9 p.m. dinners. I always have. When my daughter began high school I TRIED to have dinner by 7:30, but her after school snack was usually so substantial that she wasn't ready to eat that early. 8 or 9 is no trouble for us. I will confess that we have a Tea Time around 4-5 and that often involves a hearty snack.

[Radish4ever]

My husband doesn't usually get home that late, but if he's going to be home later than 7, we just eat without him.

All of us are hungry between 3:30-4:30 every day, so we actually end up snacking (I try to keep it healthy - fruit, cheese, yogurt, nuts, or something like that) then and then a late dinner isn't so bad.

 

Does he have access to a microwave at work?  Maybe he could have his hot meal while he's working.  If no microwave, maybe using a Thermos - or heck, even using the thermos for dinners to keep it warm and ready for him.  I know a lot of people that use them for non-soup items even like lasagna servings and that kind of thing.  I don't know from personal experience how that works out, though.

 

I also agree with the breakfast suggestion - would he be able to be there for a hot breakfast so the whole family can enjoy it together?  My husband and I almost did that since he was getting home late for several weeks in a row at one point, but I selfishly couldn't wake up early enough (or cheerfully enough) to actually follow through with that plan.

[ZeeMommy]

Have you asked your husband what kind of meal he'd like when he gets home?  Is he happy with reheating, or can he go with salad and sandwich or soup sometime?  I usually serve out of the kitchen from the stove and reheat food in the pan I cooked it in.  I've successfully kept tortillas warm in my toaster oven by having them covered with foil on the broiler pan over a little bit of water in the pan beneath it.  No dishes in the toaster oven either, usually just wrap stuff in foil. 

[Another Lynn]

ummm.... hey, honey, we're eating.  You might want to grab something on the way home, lol.