I feel for my daughter sometimes ...

[hillfarm]

I think "hurt people hurt people" is a cop-out, and I don't think it's helpful to excuse bullying behavior by assuming a person is only being mean because reasons.

In my post I pointed out that it is NOT an excuse, but it may be an explanation. Treating others badly is never justified, regardless of the situation.

 

However, it sometimes helps to remember that there may be a serious back story that would explain a lot. Not excuse it, but explain it.

[Word Nerd]

In my post I pointed out that it is NOT an excuse, but it may be an explanation. Treating others badly is never justified, regardless of the situation.

 

However, it sometimes helps to remember that there may be a serious back story that would explain a lot. Not excuse it, but explain it.

 

I understand that, but I guess I question why it would help and in what way it would have improved the situation. I think the difference between an explanation and an excuse for bad behavior is mostly semantics. I think the OP's DD handled the situation appropriately, as did her manager. 

[wintermom]

Sometimes people acting like jerks, for whatever reason, need the assistance of a bulldozer (or large person) to remind them that they are in a place of business, and that there is a code of conduct. They don't have the "right" to shop in a store, just like my children don't have the right to run around like lunatics or scream at the top of their lungs in the same place of business. They may be willing to pay for their items, but they're also likely annoying all the other customers around them and not just the employees.

[LucyStoner]

I think "hurt people hurt people" is a cop-out, and I don't think it's helpful to excuse bullying behavior by assuming a person is only being mean because reasons.

I don't think it is an excuse. There being a reason doesn't mean it is right.

 

Honestly, thinking to myself that the nasty person's life sucks often makes me feel a little better. I know that's not a nice thought, but it is a true thought at times. :p

[Catwoman]

I used to work at a Marshall's. I figured it was maybe just discount places that bring about the crabby people -- the *screaming* that would sometimes happen up at the cash registers....

 

There were customers that would throw items at employees and plate glass windows. It could get terrifying.

I have seen some amazingly rude customers in higher-end stores as well. They seem to think that if they are spending a lot of money, they are somehow entitled to treat the store staff like dirt.

 

These are usually people whose wealth is newly acquired, and they are trying to impress the world with how important they are. :rolleyes:

[Audrey]

I have had many customer service jobs (waitress, cashier, bartender, retail) and no matter where you are, there are jerks.  Thankfully, IME, there are a lot more decent folks than jerks, and you meet really great people a heck of a lot more than you do jerks. 

 

Still, it hurts when people do that to you.  I think some people get off on that.  And, that's why they're jerks. 

 

I'm sorry your daughter had to deal with that, but I'm glad the manager backed her up and kicked out the jerks.  :hurray:

[Anne in CA]

I agree with Audrey that most people are very pleasant. I have met WONDERFUL people at our restaurant who are just delightful. The percentage of jerks is small. But when someone is deliberately trying to hurt you you have to be able to put up your defenses quickly to stop serious damage,and even then it is usually hurtful in the short term.