S/o on menopause - keeping your marriage together as hormones mess with everything

[Guest]

Do you have someone in your life - close friend or relative, maybe your husband has a brother he's close to - that you can talk to and have him talk to your husband? 'Cause there are a lot of signals here that all is not well with him. Sometimes it is easier to hear things from someone other than the wife, kwim? I don't even think it's intentional, or at least not always. I don't like to chalk it up to "that's the way men are" but in my observation it just seems that way.

 

Maybe his sister who is 50+. He is not close with his brothers anymore. There is serious enmity now with one of them. His mother would have been a great one for this a few years ago, but alas, she is in no shape to recommend health intervention now. Now it is he and his brothers arguing about what is best done for her.

[MarinesWife]

Have you read The Hormone Cure by Dr Sara Gottfried? My neighbor gave it to me because my post baby hair loss was that noticeable. Anyhow, it's for all hormone issues that women experience. She has a detailed questionnaire to help you figure out what hormones are going wacky. She includes scientific explanations about hormones, what they do, etc. and research on the effects of lifestyle changes, herbs, and prescription drugs on hormones. She also gives plans for correcting the hormone imbalance (from least risky lifestyle changes to prescriptions). I found it helpful. While my hair has not grown back, the fatigue, "drying up", sex drive, ability to cope has all improved from the lifestyle changes and some herbs she recommended. Too bad there's not a book for men. ;)

Did anyone else purchase this book after reading this thread?

 

Mine came today and I just finished the intro.

 

Thanks, Liz!

[Guest]

Did anyone else purchase this book after reading this thread?

 

Mine came today and I just finished the intro.

 

Thanks, Liz!

I may put it on my Kindle if there is a Kindle version.

[Reefgazer]

I did.  Awaiting on it as we speak.

Did anyone else purchase this book after reading this thread?

Mine came today and I just finished the intro.

Thanks, Liz!

 

[Kalypso]

I did. Mine arrived today.

[Guest]

Did anyone else purchase this book after reading this thread?

 

Mine came today and I just finished the intro.

 

Thanks, Liz!

Hmmm. The reviews do make me skeptical. I ended up buying a low-carb slow-cooker book instead. My AF is *MISSING*, people! Totally AWOL! I don't think coffee is doing that! My hormones are totally effed up; they are wack-job screwed up. It's not the Salt Water Taffy. No way.

[Rosie_0801]

I've been inspired to do a menopause reading challenge for the Book a Week thread. Forewarned is forearmed, I hope.

[Murphy101]

 

No caffeine?

No sugar?

And what is this "clean diet" of which they speak? :eek:

Sounds like torture to me.

Honestly, giving up most sugar even going from cream and sugar to black coffee has done tremendous good for my health. Idk why, but I KNOW my late 30s turning 40 body simply doesn't process some foods like it did at 20.

 

It's rough at first, but then it gets much much better and is worth it.

 

Now the only caffeine I get it is black coffee or unsweetened iced tea. I'm not giving them up any time soon.

[gardenmom5]

Honestly, giving up most sugar even going from cream DNA sugar to black coffee has done tremendous good for my health. Idk why, but I KNOW my late 30s turning 40 body simply doesn't process some foods like it did at 20.

 

It's rough at first, but then it get much much better and is worth it.

 

No the only caffeine I get it is black coffee or unsweetened iced tea. I'm not giving them up any time soon.

 

I am giving up sugar for my health.  I did it years ago - and felt great, better than I ever had before. (all forms of sugar, and bread. I lost a ton of weight that just melted off.

 

Now I'm trying to be liveable so I will stay with for the long haul.  iow: I can have a small piece of birthday cake.  just most of the time, I don't eat anything with sugar. (including most fruit and milk products, and almost no bread. I have plain no-fat greek yogurt to which I add my own berries, because it's such a good source of probiotics).  

[Harriet Vane]

This is us, to, except DH is a contractor and THAT is why he cannot bear to hire Carlos.

 

Can you present it as sympathy for him not having to work when he is home? That hiring Carlos gives your beloved dh a break?

[Guest]

Can you present it as sympathy for him not having to work when he is home? That hiring Carlos gives your beloved dh a break?

Not on a regular basis. There have been things from time to time he agreed to hire out, but smaller matters, he is not willing. I guess it's the feeling of, "Well, surely I can spend a few hours this weekend repairing the fencing in three places." It's the way he grew up. On a farm, five siblings - I doubt his parents *ever* hired "Carlos" for any tasks.

[DawnM]

This would definitely not work for my DH.  That $2,500 hardwood flooring he put in would have been a $5,000 floor project.

 

That $3,500 bathroom project would have been $10,000.  

 

Labor is not inexpensive. 

 

HOWEVER, we are looking at selling this house in the Spring and he has agreed to let someone do some of the work.

 

Can you present it as sympathy for him not having to work when he is home? That hiring Carlos gives your beloved dh a break?

 

[Murphy101]

Not on a regular basis. There have been things from time to time he agreed to hire out, but smaller matters, he is not willing. I guess it's the feeling of, "Well, surely I can spend a few hours this weekend repairing the fencing in three places." It's the way he grew up. On a farm, five siblings - I doubt his parents *ever* hired "Carlos" for any tasks.

Okay I'm not one to advocate lying by omission... But..

 

Could you just quietly pay to have it done and see how long it takes him to even notice?

 

Seriously. I've done that. Took my dh over 2 months to notice. Because they were smaller matters to HIM, but since I am here with all the kids it is not a small matter to ME to have to constantly deal with it.

 

But I'm saying that as someone who stated clearly to her dh over 10 years ago that I have a low "hurry up and wait to get it done" threshold and that if we could afford it, I wasn't going to wait for him to get around to it for very long. And he was okay with that bc he traveled a lot and when he was home didn't want to deal with a broken down house.

[Guest]

Could you just quietly pay to have it done and see how long it takes him to even notice?

It is certainly tempting! ;)