So stressed over food prep for the family

[CAMom]

Hi Everyone~

 

I don't know what I need here...empathy, help, suggestions, a personal chef...;)

 

Food prep is so stressful around here!

 

First of all, I'm just not very good at it in general. It takes a lot out of me to plan, shop, prep, cook, etc. It just doesn't come naturally. I'm happy to do it. It's just not natural.

 

Next comes the food issues:

 

8yo has anaphylactic allergies to white fish and all nuts and peanuts. Plus he's picky. :p

 

17yo has decided she's a vegetarian

 

21 yo can't eat tomato products. They set his stomach on fire. He has also become lactose intolerant over the past few years and has major stomach problems if he eats much in the way of dairy. He does seem to tolerate cheese.

 

I am suppose to be eating fairly low carb due to having metabolic syndrome.

 

Dh is pretty open and does really well not being picky and not complaining about anyone's restrictions.

 

It's driving me nuts! I'm not a creative cook to begin with and I'm just at a loss as to how to provide well rounded, nutritious meals that meet everyone's needs.

 

I promise to listen with an open mind to any and all suggestions, not to take anything personally, and to consider every single idea anyone can throw at me!

 

Help? :p

[bettyandbob]

Get a crockpot. 

 

Start trying recipes that fit the two people allergy restrictions On days when you can't eat whatever it ease make something simple you can eat. On days when you make stuff not vegetarian 17 can feed herself. 

 

Train yourself to use crockpot 3 days a week. Train yourself to make different things each time. Mark recipes liked. 

 

Once you get in the crockpot habit dinner is easy. You make a menu plan once a week (pick out your three recipes and buy ingredients). Throw stuff in in the morning.  In the evening boil pasta or rice for the rest of the family. Have a bag of salad for yourself as your side. Steam some veggies too if you want. Done. 

 

But you have to be determined to develop the routine. 

 

You can get recipes online. There are low carb crock books. There are vegetarian crock books. There are crockpot books of all kinds. You could start at the library and work your way through them. 

[regentrude]

Modular meals.

No casseroles, soups or crock pot things where everything is mixed together, but single components: a protein (meat/fish/egg), a starch (potato, pasta, rice), one or several vegetarian side dishes (vegetables, salad)

If one dish contains the ingredients family members are allergic to, make sure the other dishes are free of allergens. White fish, nuts and tomatos are easily avoided or each contained to a single dish.

Whoever is allergic leaves out that one component.

Whoever wants low carb leaves out the starch.

 

Also, your older kids should take turns cooking, especially since they have dietary restrictions.

 

ETA: Preparing such a meal does not have to take more than 30 minutes. A few examples:

rice, chicken breast cut into strips and cooked in a pan with spices of your choice, vegetable stir fry, salad.

Potatoes, pork chops, grilled asparagus, cooked broccoli, sauce hollandaise (contains dairy)

pasta, meat sauce (leave out tomato), salad

 

You get the idea.

 

I would try to find a few soup recipes that work for all family members, which can be a bit tricky.

Any vegan soups without tomato should work. Beef stew can be made dairy free; use olive oil and leave out tomato. The diary eaters can later add cheese. Serve with fresh bread (for the carb eaters).

[bolt.]

All of those people are well-old-enough to be contributing to their own nutrition for the most part. Assign DH, 21 and 17 each 2 family suppers per week (or 'one fhis week and two next week' in a rotation) -- require them to plan in advance and submit their grocery needs to you. You stick with shopping, one supper, teaching the 8yo, and providing the building blocks for heathy breakfasts and lunches.

 

It's OK if they make the same 2 or 3 meals all the time... As long as the either fit or flex-to everyone's needs (ie, a meat dish can be made with one meat-free portion, or something with 'carbs on the side' would be your option not to have them).

 

Feeding themselves and others is a critical life skill. It's not truly serving them to "serve" them meals for which they don't have to take responsibility... Time to move yourself out of the role of "food preparer in this house" and into a teamwork framework that knvolves everyone.

[StephanieZ]

The 17 yo and 21 yo can be in charge of their own food. I'd really not sweat about whether they eat or what they eat. I'd be sure the pantry and freezer had things like PP&J fixings for them, maybe frozen pizzas or similar easy to fix frozen things. In fact, I'd let THEM be in charge of keeping the pantry or freezer stocked, and give them a budget if I was paying for it, and have them buy the items themselves with a grocery gift card or something like that if I didn't want to be responsible for buying the items on their lists.

 

Then, I'd use Once A Month cooking to prepare some items that you, dh, and your young child can eat on a regular basis. Or the crockpot. I'd choose a few recipes that freeze well and we all enjoy, and get a dozen meals in the freezer this weekend. You can do three recipes -- four batches of each -- in one afternoon, or even a couple hours. 

 

Go to food.com and search for OAMC recipes, and you'll find hundreds. Or do that with crock pot recipes if you really don't want to deal with the freezer meals, but I find freezer meals are the lowest stress, b/c you can get them made ahead, and you don't have to shop/plan during the week.

 

I love the new "chopped salads" that the groceries all have now. They are so easy and tasty. There are many varieties, so we rotate through them, and I think we have them at least twice a week when I don't have some other green veggie I want to prepare. A frozen OAMC or crockpot meal can be fixed in a few minutes quickly, and then add a bagged chopped salad (30 seconds prep!), and dinner is served.

 

I think the key is letting go of accommodating your young adult children. If what you are preparing for the family doesn't suit them, they can dig up leftovers, make a sandwich, or a bowl of oatmeal, or whatever. I have already done that with my picky 14 & 17 year olds. If they don't like it, I don't care. Eat it, or go dig up something else. Fine by me; go dig up something you want to eat! They are old enough to cook for themselves, so they are free to do that. 

 

(((hugs))) I feel your pain, really I do!

[KungFuPanda]

I think the easiest for you would be a crockpot main dish/meat and a salad several days a week. Perhaps you can add some rice or rolls for those who can have them. Try crockpot365.com or search for crockpot freezer recipes so you can have things on hand ready dump in the crockpot.

 

With all of the food issues, you may want to look at meals that can be customized at the table rather than something everyone can eat as-is. Things like burrito bowls or baked potato bars . . . think meals with components that make people happy.

 

Maybe a weekly template can help:

 

Monday - burrito/taco bar

Tuesday - soup/salad/sandwich

Wednesday - crockpot meat, cooked veggies, rice

Thursday - fried rice (make extra rice earlier in the week)

Friday - build your own pizza night (find a low carb crust for you, dd forgoes the meat, DS uses a white sauce . . .)

Saturday - crockpot main dish, salad, bread

Sunday - breakfast for dinner

 

You don't need the exact same meals each new week. One week have chicken burritos, pork the next, beef the next, etc. When it warms up, swap out the crockpot for the grill. Have a chili and loaded baked potato night. Make a white chicken and a red beef chili . . . Make a lot and freeze some for next week. You can even cook the meat separately so dd doesn't have to add it to hers.

[Miss Tick]

Try to minimize day-to-day decisions. Use a template like Kung Fu's, list one or two options for each evening and then use that to make a menu and the menu to make a grocery list. Fewer decisions should help reduce stress.

 

Good luck.

[Miss Tick]

Try to minimize day-to-day decisions. Use a template like Kung Fu's, list one or two options for each evening and then use that to make a menu and the menu to make a grocery list. Fewer decisions should help reduce stress.

 

Good luck.

[KungFuPanda]

I forgot to ask. Do you have a meal-prep place like Let's Dish in your town? Not every meal will be a hit with every person, but as long as you don't poison anyone and dinner hits the table, your job is done. "It's a home, not a restaurant" is what I tell my kids when we're eating something they wouldn't have picked that night. My oldest is the pickiest in the house, but she's 17, attracted to simple, healthy foods without sauces on them, and is comfortable cooking for herself. If we're eating lasagna, she's fine making herself some tortellini soup instead.

[dbmamaz]

I have sympathy, we are also a multi-allergy family - but i am lucky in that i love to cook and am very creative with it.  Still, its a real challenge.  For me, I just make myself sit down and plan once a week, write it all down, and go grocery shopping for the week.  I find the planning the most stressful, but once I have it all written up, I kinda go on auto-pilot.

 

I guess its hard that you cant eat beans and dd wont eat meat!  But I think some of the suggestions were good - like taco night where she can have beans and you can have meat and hubby can have both, and you can put yours as a taco salad instead of in a shell (for taco night, i'm now making quesidillas for the boys with the fillings - gluten free wraps and dairy free cheese . . . )  Sandwich night again you can eat yours as a lettuce wrap.  sometimes i make a light soup to go along with a meal and I just eat less of the starch.  You can do some tofu-based meals . . . stir fry with tofu over rice, but you just go super-light on the rice (or use bean thread noodles).  

 

lunch should definitely be self-serve . . . smoothies for you!  actually i sometimes in the winter make soup and freeze it in an ice cube tray and transfer to a ziploc, and i can take some out and microwave it for lunch, any time.

[CAMom]

On my way out the door....

 

1. We do have a crockpot. What about the lead in them? :lol:

 

2. I should have specified that I'm only talking about dinner. Everyone is on their own for the other meals. I just make sure the 8yo isn't eating crackers only for lunch every day.

 

3. The 21 yo is happy to help with prep. He's at school two nights a week and fends for himself at those times.

 

4. The 17 yo is crazy busy with 4 AP classes and a job. I could probably get her to do 1 night a week on dinner prep. She's planning on going out of state to college so I only have a few months left with her at home.

 

5. There are some great ideas so far! Thank you so much.

 

I'll be back in a bit. :)

[PeterPan]

Yes, the really old crockpots can have lead issues.  If yours is crazy old, but a new one.  I just bought a new one at Christmas, but Target has some mighty nice ones for less than $20.  They have removable liners too.  

 

I've been having a lot of success with this book  Slow Cooker Revolution Volume 2  It's by the Cooks Illustrated people, and all there recipes are FAB.  You know, if you make something like a soup in there and then the 17 yo picks out the meat, will she survive?  That kind of scenario would make life easier.  And I agree with the others that it turns out you only need to make 3-4 recipes a week.  At that point there are just enough leftovers floating around that you get a night or two off.  :)

[abba12]

I would sit down for a weekend and look at my recipe books and google. Come up with a master list of around 20-30 simple recipes that you, dh, 21yo and 8yo can eat (have some vege dishes like veg chili or veg tacos, but don't worry too much about that just yet), and maybe 5 or 10 you can have on nights the 21 yo is not home, so tomato dishes etc. (this isn't the time for fancy meals, you can add those as you go later, just get a basic system happening now and expand in a month or two once this is working) For your vegetarian, have some easy substitutes available in the freezer for segmented meals, like a veggie burger patty or some sort of premade single portion protein substitute for when you do a dish like chicken and salad, and try to keep a couple of easy single meals on hand or frozen leftovers for when you make something with meat unavoidably in it.

 

so you have a master list of 20+ 5 recipes. print them out and put then in a binder with an index.

 

now, on shopping day, select 5 standard recipes and two from the list for when 21yo isn't home. the ingredients should be right there in your binder, just write them on a list and cross off what you already have in the pantry. make sure you have the needed substitution portions for 17yo and off you go, a meal plan done quickly and you are set for the week. you, dh and 8yo can eat all the recipes you picked, 21yo can eat all the standard list recipes, and 17yo will be able to east anything vegetarian, substitute the protein for meat and three veg/salad type meals, and once or twice a week will have a separate, convenience meal or leftovers from the freezer

 

you can experiment when the urge hits you, but by taking the time to create a master list you don't have to try and find recipes every week to suit you all

[aggieamy]

I really like the idea of having the teenager and young adult be responsible for their own food but I probably wouldn't do it.  Too many people in my kitchen.  (I'm a bit of a kitchen control freak.)

 

What I would do would be to have everyone submit five recipes that EVERYONE in the house can eat and enter them into a program like Plan to Eat that makes a menu and a grocery list.  I would use that as my base and keep tweaking it until you have a month long menu that fits everyone.  Pick easy and crockpot friendly recipes to start with.  

[Rachel]

One thing that helped me when we had a crazy schedule was creating weekly menu plans a & b and making a master grocery list for each. That saved a ton of planning time. When you cook the same things frequently it gets quicker too. We rotated those two menus for several weeks before changing it up.

 

Once a month cooking overwhelms me, but I do frequently make double batches of foods and freeze the leftovers.

[birchbark]

:lurk5: