Talk to me about surprise / oops babies...

[trulycrabby]

DH and I wanted one more, but I really was not optimistic about getting pregnant at 41, so we were very pleasantly surprised when I got pregnant very quickly. :o

[JessReplanted]

Our 'surprise' is due to show up in the next two weeks!  It took me MONTHS to get over the shock of being pregnant.

Now, I can't wait to meet this little one. Your husband will probably settle down eventually, but it may take some time. 

Thankfully, my husband was way more calm about the baby than I was.

[Renee in NC]

My "oops" baby is almost 5, and I can't imagine life without him. He totally completed our family, and everyone adores him.

[texasmama]

Yes, I have gone through this.  I was happy and excited and shocked with #4. I took dh to dinner the evening I got my positive test to tell him.  He was so sick over the unexpected news that he could hardly eat.  No kidding.  He adjusted pretty quickly, though, and it all worked out fine.  She is 8 now.  Congrats!

[VeganCupcake]

My surprise baby is the second one that snuck into my uterus at the same time as the one we had planned. :) They're due to arrive in February. We were completely, totally freaked out. We have calmed down a bit now.

 

Friends in college were the "oops" babies in their family..............they had a brother 10 months older than them and they were identical TRIPLETS. That poop mom had 4 under 1 year old in the days before disposable diapers.

 

I have a friend whose father and stepmother had an 18 month old and newborn triplets and cloth diapered them all to save money--this was only about 12 or so years ago. That gives me a little courage, as a cloth diapering mom.

[mrsrevmeg]

My youngest son is the oops in our home. He is precious and our family would not be complete without him.

[MysteryJen]

Friends in college were the "oops" babies in their family..............they had a brother 10 months older than them and they were identical TRIPLETS. That poop mom had 4 under 1 year old in the days before disposable diapers.

This reminds me of a woman I met when my first oops baby was a newborn. She said that her three month old boy was sleeping on her chest when she had her first ultrasound. Triplets (1 girl, 2 boys).

 

Her husband passed out.

[LucyStoner]

Our oldest son was really and truly unplanned- I was on the pill. It took us awhile to get excited honestly. We were newly married and still in college and had been planning on waiting a long time to start a family. But once we warmed up to the idea we haven't looked back. He's 10.

[meggie]

My oldest and youngest were surprises. I cried when I took the test for the oldest and it was positive. Middle son was only a year old when I took the test for baby girl. Oddly enough, my surprise babies were my easy ones and the sleep deprived stage didn't last very long.

 

In both cases, husband was very laid back about it. I was the one freaking out. I stay in denial until baby comes. After that, I'm too in love to worry about much else.

[MomtoCandJ]

My youngest brother was an oops (I later asked my mom if we could take my middle brother back). The one I'm pregnant with now really wasn't an oops but we weren't actively trying either.

[Guest]

dd2 wasn't really an oops either, she was a "this is meant to be and we both know we don't have the power to prevent it so why bother trying but so hard."

 

People would have questioned our sanity if we'd admitted it, though.

[Retired]

I promise you my dh was the most selfish, immature a$$ with our first child which was a gigantic oop.  He was not supportive didn't attend ultrasounds, prenatal classes nada nothing.  I was planning my divorce. (I was only 23 when he was born) He had turned 30.  SO he was older and should of been supportive.  I should of been the one freaked.   He did manage to be their for the birth (but by this time I didn't want him there)  He fell in love the minute the boy was born.  I'll be honest I held a lot resentment and didn't forgive for a long time but we manage to rebuild a marriage and life together.  Baby boy turned 20 last month

 

Your dh will fall in love with the baby.  He probably is just stressed with the financial side of raising another child and having your future plans altered.  Men don't like change or things they can't control.  He'll come around

 

Congrats. 

[mamakelly]

I cried for months when I found out I was expecting #4.

 

Me too. 9 months to be exact. My DH handled the shock much better than I did. I probably should have seen a counselor. I grieved the life that I was losing, everything that was going to change etc..It was very hard. I really didn't get over it, until he was born. Then I was fine. He's a great kiddo, and has brought lots of joy to our family. It was just a rough start for me...

[tabinfl]

Our twins, who we adopted, came home from the NICU in mid-July 2007, still on apnea monitors and medications and over a month yet before their original due date. About 6 weeks later, I noticed I was moody in a way that didn't quite fit with mere lack of sleep... checked the calendar to see if it was PMS time and realized I was over a week late.

 

I panicked. I homestly thought my husbamd would be angry. Fortunately he came home right away when I asked him to even though I didn't tell him why and was *thrilled* when I showed him the pee stick (and the three more I made him go buy). After a few weeks, or maybe it was a few months, once I got over being overwhelmed, terrified, and 27 other emotions, I was pretty excited too.

 

We had been through numerous infertility procedures, and this wasn't supposed to be a possibility, certainly not after "just once!" I have since met a number of adoptive or IVF moms with younger siblings a year or less later (anyone who thinks it's because we relaxed has never spent much time around either preemies or twins -- my twin mommy friends only wanted to know when we found the time ;) )! I also have several friends with much larger gaps, including a mom with two sets of twins, 17 years apart.

 

Our "bonus baby" was born exactly 10 1/2 months after the twins' birth date, which made for an interesting few years and some really strange looks from people unaware that we adopted the first two. The part when none of the three were walking and I couldn't even go grocery shopping without help was a little rough, and the toddler stage when our entire home was decorated in minimal furniture, mattresses on the floor, and at least 8 separate baby gates is fortunately now a source of laughter. I thank God for the triplet moms who took me under their wing. It's really womderful now, my kids are all best buds, and very soon I will be in trouble again because they are in cahoots and getting smarter and more devious by the day. I wouldn't trade it for the world (OK, maybe once in a while I consider it... not so much trading as offering free to a good home... :) )

[Liz CA]

Tell dh, life is so much easier with an even number.

I really have no clue if it's true but it sounds reasonable and may calm him down.

 

CONGRATS!

 

:laugh:

[Pod's mum]

My first was an oops. Her father didn't really come around. His life had been ruined because after 'getting myself pregnant' I was going to have and keep it..

She adored him and he still didn't appreciate how wonderful that was.

More fool him.

The next three we had were planned.

Of the four I only have the last.

 

I would have loved some more oops babies. That boat has sailed and I'm loving the company of the one I have.

 

I've always figured we are given our babies and our timing is not what counts.

 

Congatulations.

You know you've got a good man, he will come around.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

These stories of surprise multiples are freaking me out!  LOL.  I think ONE surprise is plenty...  :-)

 

Thanks for all the stories.  It truly is helpful and comforting to know about all these happy families containing bonus kiddos! 

[mom@shiloh]

My oops baby was #5 and was such a perfect fit for our family that it really made me rethink birth control altogether.  

[BarbecueMom]

Our "oops" is currently sleeping in his crib. I'm not big on destiny or things "meant to be", but that kid is going places. If he can hot wire "the big V" to get here, he can do anything he puts his mind to.

 

He's one of the happiest babies I've ever seen. Born with a smile on his face and hasn't stopped.

[Kathryn]

#1 was a complete surprise. We didn't want children. DH took that one much better than I did. It was only when they couldn't did a heartbeat at 12w that I realized that I wanted the baby.

 

#2 was not quite planned. I had gone off the pill because we were thinking about trying in a few months and I wanted to be ready. I never got a period. Meanwhile, DH and I began a very rough patch in our relationship and he was NOT happy about the baby. He stayed angry for a long time, but after #2 was born, he gradually softened.