How do you define "Good Enough"...

[shinyhappypeople]

... in your homeschooling?

 

It's something I've been thinking about this weekend.  This is my fifth year homeschooling (10 yo and 9 yo).  This year has been the most productive one yet, but maybe it's just because I've given up on my idea of the perfect homeschool.  This school year, what has worked (been effective, gotten done) are simple resources where I act as the facilitator and helper but not a teacher, because I'm not a teacher.  We use  a lot of "Daily... whatever" worksheets from Evan-Moor.  Plenty of days we do math and spelling and then get on with our lives.  Grammar is done semi-regularly.  At the moment, history consists of watching episodes of PBS' "Colonial House" and ready library books every so often.

 

Maybe it's good enough.  I think it's good enough.  And then I make the mistake of reading posts where moms are doing these amazing things with their kids and I feel like a jerk, like I'm shortchanging my kids.  Or non-homeschoolers blast homeschoolers who don't appear to be measuring up to their (the non-homeschooler's) standards.

 

Of course, when we've tried the traditional, rigorous academic route it's been a huge fireball of FAILURE, so I don't know why I let myself get sucked in.

 

I'm not sure what the point of this is.  I guess I'm just wondering: do you ever think it's okay to stop short of GREAT and just enjoy "good enough"?  How do you balance your vision of your IDEAL homeschool with the reality of what happens everyday?  (Or, maybe you've achieved your ideal?)  What are your bottom line "Must get done or I'm failing my kids"?  Do you compare yourself to public schools - as in "I have to achieve at least as much academically at every grade/stage as the PS or I might as well quit homeschooling and enroll them."  

 

 

 

 

[GreenKitty]

 

I guess I'm just wondering: do you ever think it's okay to stop short of GREAT and just enjoy "good enough"?  How do you balance your vision of your IDEAL homeschool with the reality of what happens everyday?  (Or, maybe you've achieved your ideal?)  What are your bottom line "Must get done or I'm failing my kids"?  Do you compare yourself to public schools - as in "I have to achieve at least as much academically at every grade/stage as the PS or I might as well quit homeschooling and enroll them."  

 

Yes, I do stop short of Great and enjoy good enough.What is good enough for one is different for someone else. Maybe you would think your good enough is greater than mine? The key is not to compare, but enjoy what you are doing. My life is never balanced, some days are heavy and some are light. I assume it all equals out. My 'must get done': some sort of teaching my kids anything worthwhile. No, I don't compare myself to public school, if I did that then I know we'd be Great:) Don't second guess yourself, sounds like your doing fine or maybe your doing GREAT! 

[texasmama]

This year, "good enough" is what I can manage while doing the rest of my life, which right now includes 30 hours per week of work (mostly at home) and helping care for an elderly relative. I rely on end of year Stanford testing for reassurance at this point. This is my best at this point, and I really do think it is good enough and maybe even a bit more. :)

 

ETA: I do not compare our school to public school. Enrolling them is not an option, which really does make our choices simpler.

[Wabi Sabi]

This year we're doing "good enough," and you know? It's actually pretty great.

 

Like a previous poster I work full-time, my husband just started a new career and we're taking care of an elderly relative who is in and out of the hospital constantly. My oldest got a small part in a community theatre play and now has rehearsal upwards of 10-15 hours/week and that will only increase as it gets closer to performance time. I had to make peace with "good enough."

 

My oldest does math, spelling (independently thanks to Sequential Spelling on DVD) and piano practice daily. Once a week or so we sit down and do several lessons from FLL in one sitting just because he thinks that diagramming is fun. I'm not afraid to outsource, so he takes a couple of enrichment homeschool classes that help to fill in some of the gaps. I've noticed that with less formal curriculum he's actually reading far more than he ever has in the past and listening to lots of audiobooks too.

 

As for my youngest we do a little basic math and some phonics that also incorporates handwriting daily. Her handwriting is lovely and her reading is coming along quite nicely. She's also in a couple of enrichment classes that are more arts, crafts, nature study, etc. What else does a kindergartener need?

 

Together they've been watching Popular Science, Liberty's Kids, documentaries and more. I bet they'd love Colonial House- I'll have to put that one on our list too! But the formal schooling? It's fairly minimal right now. Despite that they both seem to be learning more than ever. Somehow it seems that by doing less we're actually accomplishing more and for now, I'm quite happy with it.

[La Texican]

One of my kids is just barely school aged. But I have been thinking a lot and reading and trying to define the purpose of education. At the rate we're going it would be awkward to put my kids in school after a few years of homeschooling because the skills and content just would not line up after what we've been doing. I want it all to even out by about middle school, when I plan to give my kids control over their education as long as they're choosing to truly work at learning by then. I think as long as you have a long term goal like that, and a rough estimate of when, you have a lot of freedom. My dad said you can't plan for everything, but you can make a vision for your future and make the little decisions along the way by asking yourself which choice supports your vision. I applied that to homeschooling and instead of saying that we'll do these pages from this curriculum in this many years, I've started looking at what my kids should know, and what they should be able to do by middleschool. It's freeing to know what the goal is, and how long we have. It was freeing when my husband and I decided the kids are going to keep homeschooling for the long term because I can plan for the longer term and not worry about keeping up with every little thing the school is learning each semester. Yes, good enough is great. One of the benefits of homeschooling is a personally tailored education with more built in personal time, less hurried, less stress.

I'm following the 1hr per day/per grade reccomendation. And I leave schooltime for after lunch. For your kids that would be 3 & 4 hrs. a day. The average amount of days a kid goes to school is 180 days/year. So in my house we've decided to school year round, seven days on, seven days off. Just sharing how I justified the relaxed schedule.

[regentrude]

...  Do you compare yourself to public schools - as in "I have to achieve at least as much academically at every grade/stage as the PS or I might as well quit homeschooling and enroll them."  

 

That is my absolute rock bottom minimum comparison. I homeschool for academic reasons. Anything that is "good enough" has to be at least better than the local public school. If I could not manage this minimum, I would see no justification for not sending my kids to school.

Good enough for me means: kids are truly challenged in at least some of their subjects and interested in the others, are putting in time on task, are making progress.

Good enough for me means: I pick in which subjects to go above and beyond, in which to do a strong, rich but not overly advanced course, in which to do the best I can, in which to check the box, and which to skip entirely. We can not go above and beyond in all subjects, so I pick according to priorities and abilities. There also needs to be enough free time to pursue extracurriculars and to have simply free time with nothing planned.

 

What are your bottom line "Must get done or I'm failing my kids"?

 

Mine is: a college prep education that fulfills the admissions requirements of a selective college. In other words, four years of the five core subjects math, science, English, history, foreign language. Some of those credits will be above &beyond, some of those may be just fulfilling the requirement to justify credit. But that is the bottom line for our family, because that is what my kids are capable of, and if *I* did not make it possible for them to accomplish that, I would have failed.

 

[ByGrace3]

I think "good enough" is the wrong perspective. I think "our best" is our goal. Maybe it won't look like someone else's best, but I require our best for "our" homeschool. I don't use public school as a goal-- I disagree with their philosophy and many other aspects, but I do look at the private school near us which is where my kids would go if I didn't homeschool. I feel if I am not giving them at least that good of an education I should send them there. Unless of course there is another factor-- a temporary situation that makes us change course or back of temporarily...or an illness or new baby..something short term...sometimes a short break is our best that day ;) ... but if long term I was not giving them a t least as good an education as a good school, I would send them to school so they could give them that education. That also depends on the child -- if developmentally they are being challenged and are "doing their best" and that doesn't equate to outside standards, I am ok with that-- I just never want ME to stand in their way of high academic pursuits ie. curriculum choices, lack of time spent, etc...

[Chrysalis Academy]

The public school here is pretty bad, so it's a low bar.  So in some sense I can say yes, I compare, in that if I can't do better than the ps I have no business homeschooling my kids.

 

However, I don't really compare us to the ps one-to-one, because in many cases I disagree with the pacing or the curriculum or the philosophy.  My 2nd grader writes a lot less than her ps peers - but she is learning phonics and spelling and grammar that they aren't learning.  I'm confident that the end result will be superior, but if I compared it directly, well, no, she isn't independently writing multi-sentence paragraphs this year. 

 

My 6th grader is studying pretty much the same math that they are studying in ps - meaning, a review of the operations and basic preAlgebra.  But I know that she's studying and learning at a deeper level - better conceptual understanding, more mental math, and waaaaaaayyyyyy more word problems than the kids are doing in ps.  I know this because I've compared the curricula, and because I require mastery of every single concept before we move on.  So even if it covers "the same" stuff, I feel that her education is superior to what she'd be getting is ps.

 

I couldn't even begin to compare what she's doing in history, writing, lit, etc. to "social studies" and "language arts" that she'd be doing in ps.  It's just a completely different animal.

 

I get what you are asking, I think, and I think the question "Am I doing better than ps" is a completely reasonable one to ask ourselves, on the surface, and I think for the kids' sake it should be a baseline.  But I think that once you start to dig deeper, it becomes clear that you're comparing apples and oranges.  Or, at least, it is for us.   

 

[Wabi Sabi]

That is my absolute rock bottom minimum comparison. I homeschool for academic reasons. [bold]Anything that is "good enough" has to be at least better than the local public school.[/bold] If I could not manage this minimum, I would see no justification for not sending my kids to school.

I used to think the same thing. Granted, your children are older than mine and in a different stage of schooling. I do feel as though my children's younger ages gives us much more flexibility at this stage, and I fully anticipate that will change as they get older.

 

That said, I don't know if I can really compare our homeschooling to the experience my kids would have in a traditional public/private school. Apples to oranges. While I have no worries at all that either of my children would be considered "behind" if they entered public school tomorrow, ultimately it's hard to compare the two because everything we study is just different. Not necessarily better or worse, just a different path altogether.

[OneStepAtATime]

Read Building Resilience in Children and Teens (giving kids roots and wings) by Kenneth R. Ginsburg.  I think some of what is in that book is a better definition of what we should be doing for our kids (what is "good enough") than most definitions currently being used in Public School, Private School or many homeschool situations.

[Wheres Toto]

My "good enough" right now is lots of computer learning, with reading books thrown in.  Working 40+ hours a week and having a sitter that can't teach made it necessary to adapt.  I'm hoping it's a temporary situation (once dh's work situation straightens out he'll either be home with them, or we'll hire a nanny that can teach more) but I don't think we'll ever get back to where we were. 

 

We use Time4Learning and I know a lot here hate it, but it's actually working very well.  The kids are moving through it fast but the ARE learning.

 

I guess my minimum standard is the local public schools (which are very good) but we homeschool because I don't believe my son would do well in a traditional classroom setting.  So, it would have to get pretty bad before I would consider putting him back in school.

[FriedClams]

Never mind. Misread the question.

[FairClaire]

I have been thinking a lot about this topic, but still don't know what the answer is for my family.  It's a good question.  It definitely won't look the same for everyone but I think most people are aiming for something better than a public school would offer.

 

Lately, I feel like I've been too focused on academics and need some more balance in other areas of my (and my kids) lives.  I want them to have a strong education, but not at the expense of other important life skills and priorities.

[My3girls]

That is my absolute rock bottom minimum comparison. I homeschool for academic reasons. Anything that is "good enough" has to be at least better than the local public school. If I could not manage this minimum, I would see no justification for not sending my kids to school.

Good enough for me means: kids are truly challenged in at least some of their subjects and interested in the others, are putting in time on task, are making progress.

Good enough for me means: I pick in which subjects to go above and beyond, in which to do a strong, rich but not overly advanced course, in which to do the best I can, in which to check the box, and which to skip entirely. We can not go above and beyond in all subjects, so I pick according to priorities and abilities. There also needs to be enough free time to pursue extracurriculars and to have simply free time with nothing planned.

 

 

Mine is: a college prep education that fulfills the admissions requirements of a selective college. In other words, four years of the five core subjects math, science, English, history, foreign language. Some of those credits will be above &beyond, some of those may be just fulfilling the requirement to justify credit. But that is the bottom line for our family, because that is what my kids are capable of, and if *I* did not make it possible for them to accomplish that, I would have failed.

What she said.

 

What we do does not have to line up subject by subject and school year by school year. It's an overall big picture thing. Dd12 was floundering in grammar and math so she needs to get better at home in those subjects than she was getting at ps. Dd8 was floundering in everything so she's my easy one. Anything we do with her is going to be better than what she was getting. Dd7 was satisfied with mediocrity and was never challenged and rarely engaged so she gets frustrated with me regularly because she cannot zip through and be done then beams when she works through whatever it was that made her have to think.

 

I have to step back and remind myself sometimes that just because the school "offers" it doesn't mean my kid was getting it. The school offered reading, writing, and math. Yet, my dd8 was reading on a first grade level, couldn't work a word problem, and her hand writing and spelling were so atrocious you couldn't read it going into 3rd grade. So yes, my bare minimum is giving them better than they were GETTING at the ps. Some days that is 2 pages of MM, 20 min of reading, a page of Spellwell, and a lesson in WWE or WWS, and some days it's significantly more. We are never satisfied with the minimum, but some days thats all you can do.

 

Our primary goal is to develop a love of learning and an ability to think for themselves. Our secondary goal is college so everything is aimed at meeting those requirements and shining where we can so that they have options.

[FriedClams]

My rule: if I were paying a tutor or tuition in a private school for the education I'm giving my kids, would I be pleased, or raise the roof and get everyone fired? If its the latter I need to fix something.

[kolamum]

I think we all have seasons in our lives where our good enough is the only way we'll make it through.

I blog, but you know I rarely read other blogs. I blog for me, for my family, for the sake of a record.

I don't mind the public reading it, I don't mind friends commenting on it, but comparison is a kill joy.

 

Not only that, you're not likely to find a lot of bloggers who are openly willing to admit their short comings. That saddens me & frustrates me. Did you notice the Homeschooling Blogging Awards this year? One category for winning actually classified everyone else as losers. I saw red when I saw that, it's too easy as it is to get caught up in the whole Jonses thing with having to be as good or better then someone else.

 

I know many ladies who blog as if life is perfect & beautiful, but if you see them on message boards it's a different story. No one is perfect & most of have a season of good enough. It's just a matter of how long that season lasts, kwim? So what if your friend is doing heaps of hands on projects? Who cares if your bestie is doing mega cool science experiments? Does it matter? In the grand scheme of life will it really matter? I doubt it.

 

I can't tell you about most of our successful science projects from when I was homeschooled, but I can tell you about every single failed one & how, one day, it was like the curse of science upon us because each time we set back up it failed worse then the time before. It was in that moment mom dissolved in a bit of an emotional mess & declared she was never teaching science again because when it came to her & experiments they were failures. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I remember the day I got every math problem wrong, turned out to be an error on the parent correcting my math, but good golly was it freaking me out. I remember the day my brother pulled one of his Elvis impersonations during a history lesson, but I can't tell you what on earth that history lesson was about.

 

Don't get me wrong, I can remember good things too. The race to find the coolest info about the president we were studying. The free reigns to explore various subjects at will. The love of certain subjects that I've carried into adulthood. The list could go on. But the bottom line is, you can bet there were days when good enough was all we did. Did my parents feel guilty about it? You betcha. And now when we have days, or months, or weeks of good enough I have my turn to feel guilty. Sometimes a great support system can be a huge help. You need them to hold you up when you're weak, but not be afraid to say when good enough has become not quite good enough, kwim?!