So annoyed! Property manager is an idiot!

[Pretty in Pink]

I think you are overreacting. IDK what kind of neighborhood you live in, but no, I would not be inclined to shoot someone for walking through my yard in the middle of the day. That strikes me as an odd reaction.  

 

Since you already used the phrase "people have been shot for less!" last year when he walked through the yard, I'm not sure why you felt the need to say it again in your email. How about, "Please knock on the door when you arrive so that I know you are here." That would have sufficed.

 

IMO, your email comes across as rude and a bit condescending, as if you are scolding a child. I see how it could be seen as a threat. It's probably best to just let your dh handle the situation from here on out and, in the future, you might consider dropping the colloquialisms when communicating to others in a professional capacity. :)
 

[creekland]

So, I'm curious. Based on the feedback you've received here, do you still think your email was appropriate? I get the feeling that you don't think you've contributed to the conflict that has occurred.

 

And this, IMO, is the problem.

 

We live in an area where everyone I know of owns shotguns and/or rifles (the first day of rifle deer season is a school holiday) and many probably own handguns, but bringing one out (or even suggesting one would do so) for a situation like this would land someone in trouble - if not legally - at least through the grapevine (small town grapevine).

 

The manager did absolutely nothing wrong IMO and I can see him only wanting to deal with someone else in the future.

 

It'd have been different if the OP had politely asked him to knock first this year and he ignored the request, but that's not what happened.  I seriously doubt he remembered a thing from the previous year, but even if he did, he was never given a chance to respond the way the OP prefers this year before being "warned" about being shot.  To me, that's scary far more scary than finding someone coming on a planned inspection in the yard 15 minutes early.

[idnib]

I think the email was over the top, especially since you know what he looks like and approximately when he's arriving. Good grief.

 

I also think your reaction last year was over the top. If I was expecting the property manager and somebody was in the yard a few minutes before that I would assume it was him and he was running a few minutes early. Property management, home repair, etc runs like that. Some things take longer than you expect and some things are quicker. If you're running ahead of schedule you keep going because the next stop might be problematic.

[Renthead Mommy]

So, I'm curious. Based on the feedback you've received here, do you still think your email was appropriate? I get the feeling that you don't think you've contributed to the conflict that has occurred.

 

 

I don't think it's there is anything wrong with the phrase I used. I've heard it used in many times and I've used it before.  I regret using it in email. I think I am out of my element living here, which I still find surprisng, being it is so 'in the country' where it seems guns are just part of country living.  In talking with friends from Nj/NY today, most thought he was an idiot for taking it the way he did, could not understand the issue and agreed that yes it is a fact I was stating, people do get shot for doing what he did. 

 

Do I regret it?  Yes.  

[Lisa R.]

I don't think it's there is anything wrong with the phrase I used. I've heard it used in many times and I've used it before. I regret using it in email. I think I am out of my element living here, which I still find surprisng, being it is so 'in the country' where it seems guns are just part of country living. In talking with friends from Nj/NY today, most thought he was an idiot for taking it the way he did, could not understand the issue and agreed that yes it is a fact I was stating, people do get shot for doing what he did.

 

Do I regret it? Yes.

Well, this is a start. So it seems you agree that using words like this in email is regrettable as it is easily misunderstood.

 

So you think it is a good idea to provide unsolicited advice to this man on how he should do his job and the safety precautions he should take based on an incident from one year ago? I think that's the other issue here and why posters are suggesting that this whole thing is, perhaps, an overreaction.

 

Not trying to pick on you here! There is not a poster or lurker on the board that hasn't overreacted about something at some point!

[Mrs Mungo]

I think the email comes across as overdramatic. I've had people show up in my yard because the landlady neglected to mention it to me (Terminix, irrigation system repair guy, etc), but I've never freaked out on any of them (or my landlady), not at the time and certainly not a year later. I think it is sort of one of those things you deal with when you choose to rent. Showing up 15 minutes early for a walk-through would not have surprised me. 

[idnib]

I don't think it's there is anything wrong with the phrase I used. I've heard it used in many times and I've used it before.

 

 

I think it's the context.

 

Ex 1: Sitting at cafe with friends, talking about someone coming onto someone else's wife. "People have been shot for less!" "I know, right?" (Just talking, no implied threat.)

 

Ex 2: Fence around property, with sign on it. Sign says, "No trespassing. People have been shot for less." (Generally speaking this is true, but implies perhaps at this location, by this person.)

 

Because you're talking about someone entering a property it sounds more like the second, not the first.

 

JMHO.

[goldberry]

Also I had to have a conversation with him last year that he needed to come after school and that just becuase I was home, I needed to protect my time and he needed to treat my being home as me being at a job.  

 

I would have thought that was why he didn't knock on the door early, and instead was inspecting outside.  He might have been quite shocked that you were upset over that, when he was doing what he thought was accommodating you.

 

Honestly, I thought your above comment was a little antagonistic, given the fact this is a once a year inspection.  I understand the sentiment.  But your expression comes off as abrasive for a first time encounter.

 

You might want to listen to the responses here and consider your manner in dealing with people.

 

FYI, the tax assessor was roaming my yard while DD was home alone and scared her to death.  I was annoyed but would have never considered getting angry or calling over it.

[WishboneDawn]

Well it was a continuation of a conversation we had last year. I had said the exact same thing to him when he was standing in my back yard.

 

The conversation ended last year. This exchange was a new one and, for a guy that likely visits many houses in the run of a year and probably doesn't remember specific conversations, it was probably at least as weird and unsettling as having some strange guy wandering in your backyard.

 

I understand your concern but I do find your communication with him pretty strong and I get why he'd be a little concerned. Probably a quick, "please knock at the front door. Thank you!" would have gotten you the result you wanted.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I wouldn't deal with you either after that email.

[WishboneDawn]

I don't think it's there is anything wrong with the phrase I used. I've heard it used in many times and I've used it before. I regret using it in email. I think I am out of my element living here, which I still find surprisng, being it is so 'in the country' where it seems guns are just part of country living. In talking with friends from Nj/NY today, most thought he was an idiot for taking it the way he did, could not understand the issue and agreed that yes it is a fact I was stating, people do get shot for doing what he did.

 

Do I regret it? Yes.

Naw. Sorry, but I live out in the country where guns are just part of country living and you just lost me because I do not mention the possibility of people getting shot when I'm dealing with them in any sort of professional manner.

[unsinkable]

"People have been shot for less."

 

HOw does that relate to the guy walking into the backyard?

 

Can country livers enlighten me? Why are you shooting people in the country?

[Tap]

I wouldn't think that showing up 15 minutes early for a walk around would be that alarming.  That would have been surprising to see someone unexpected in the yard, but not that big of a deal since I was expecting him anyway. It would have only taken a couple of seconds to make the connection. Not everyone runs their schedule to the minute, so a 15 minute variation....no biggie.

 

I can read your email and get very different versions of the content, based solely on inflection.  I think your email was very poorly worded and that it caused the  communication error.   You did indirectly threaten him! Like it or not, that is how it reads.  Just like you being concerned about break ins, he also needs to protect himself from tenants who are aggressive and confrontational.  You have moved yourself into this category with him, just like he has moved into a negative category for you. 

 

I also don't think that you should expect him to remember your conversation from a year ago.  Many people don't have very good memories, and honestly it is a bit presumptuous of you to expect him to remember you and a brief conversation you had with him a year ago!  Maybe it was traumatic for you so you remember every word, but to him....it was most likely just a normal part of his day.  You are just one of his renters, so you are probably not that memorable to him.  BUt since he is your only property manager, he stands out more in your mind and memory.

 

I don't think you should have anything else to do with him to protect yourself and him.  You obviously have very different expectations and communication styles. Otherwise, there will likely be problems from now until you move.  

[creekland]

"People have been shot for less."

 

HOw does that relate to the guy walking into the backyard?

 

Can country livers enlighten me? Why are you shooting people in the country?

 

I've lived in the country almost my whole life and have had rifles + shotguns in my house literally my whole life (except the college years in a dorm).  I've yet to see a person get shot for anything remotely close to such a thing nor do we have as high of a murder rate as cities.  The last murder around here was actually a city dweller killing his father with a knife "because he wanted to go to prison."  (I'm not making that up.)  There have been no murders in my local area in my lifetime from people walking across another's yard - even uninvited, much less invited and just 15 minutes early.  People may get shot for less (see the killer's reason above, and pretend he had a gun), but they tend to not get shot for that IME.

 

Groundhogs get shot.  Snakes get shot.  Pigeons get shot.  Squirrels get shot.  Rabid animals or suspected rabid animals get shot.  And of course hunting (in season) is a way of life - I already mentioned the first day of rifle deer season is a public school holiday.  But only the mentally unstable or those with things to hide (meth houses, pot plants, etc) threaten people IME.  Where the OP lives they may do things differently, but it's not a "generic" country thing.  I'd tend to blame it more on a city person (used to more crime) coming to the country and not understanding how things are done, but that is also not terribly likely.

 

[lllll]

..

[Shamzanne]

There are many ways you could have handled this differently that would have completely changed his response to you. There is nothing wrong with being startled and wanting him to act differently next time. The way you went about it, however, turned it into this difficult situation. You could have nicely requested he knock first next time, with a reminder of how it startled you last year, but because of how it was worded it came across as terse and threatening.

 

If you're willing to cop to this, I think you could send him a nice note explaining that you didn't intend to come across the way you did, and that you would like to be able to deal with him in the future. I might mention that you don't own guns and that that portion in particular was not stated well.

 

As a former property manager, I would hope you remember that he schedules things with you as a courtesy. He could just leave a notice and show up when he wants, whether you like it or not.