I need your best/tried & true potty training tips!

[Sue G in PA]

Dd almost 3 is still not potty trained. :glare: She CAN use the potty when prompted, but will not on her own. I have to really be on her all.day.long, reminding her and prompting her. I must potty train her due to financial reasons. It will save me about $30/mos. in diapers. She is ready...but not quite willing otherwise I wouldn't even try. With my other kids, I just sort of let them go and do it on their own. Most were trained by 3 1/2 or earlier. Any tips for training her. Oh, and if we don't put pull-ups on her...she'll just pee (and poo) anywhere. Dd11 informed me today that she urinated on my neighbors couch and porch just the other day. :glare: (btw...she HAD a pull-up on when I sent or on her way to play, but took it off when she got there...she doesn't like to wear them). So, HELP!

[iquilt]

Bribery (don't shoot me) - my 3yods is currently receiving 10 m&m's for everytime he poops on the potty. We have always started with 5 m&m's for each time they pee on the potty, 10 for poop. This worked for all 3 of mine. The girls were more like 2 1/2 when they did it and ds is 3 and a few months. Eventually they forget to ask for the reward and I don't remind them. By then the potty is a habit and they don't need the reward each time. HTH

[Ohio12]

I used Dr. Phil's method for both girls. One was ready at 2, the other at 3. It is on his website I think.

 

Edited to say the method worked like a charm.

[Marie in Oh]

but my girls would not use the big potty. Do you use a little potty? Once they were able to put their feet on the ground, they were fine. My last, #5, was very hard and was my oldest to train (3 years, 4 months). I literally had to hold her on the potty til she went, after holding until 1 pm all morning. But she got it in a couple of days. And now she is using the big potty by herself only 6 months later. Good luck. I hate potty training. Can you outsouce that?

[laylamcb]

Wow--my son will be 4 in October and isn't potty trained. :001_huh: I guess I just feel like when it comes to food and bodily fluids, these are battles I just can't win. With my daughter, it was, "You can't be a ballerina until you're potty trained. Ballerinas don't wear diapers." :D That was "the thing" that she wanted. With my son, I've even tried M&Ms--and I SWORE I'd NEVER use food as a reward for anything--and even that hasn't done it.

 

So all that to say, no help here. But hey--you've got me beat by MONTHS!! Feel free to feel better about yourself now. ;)

[Lolly]

1. No pullups. They are the same thing as diapers.

2. Bribery works and is fine for using for these one time types of things.

3. I like old fashioned training pants. They are absorbent but nasty when wet/dirty. Or, you can go the naked option. Just stay home and let her run naked with the promise of a prize for going on the potty. After she starts getting the hang of it, give a prize for NOT having accidents instead of for using potty. Pick a time interval for prizes and gradually extend it. Some people prefer to start with them in undies.

4. You are best off setting aside a few days for you to watch her like a hawk. Stay home. Have no major chores scheduled. Watch and catch her in the act.

5. Be diligent. You are not going back to diapers or pull-ups. I promised mine a party with a cake to celebrate when they went 4 or 5 days without an accident. Parties with cake were my girls favorite thing.

 

Basically, it takes deciding that you are going to do this and doing it. She'll figure it out

[Guest 4boys]

It's not a bribe it's a goal incentive. :) So don't feel bad about using candy or prizes. I just started training my 2 year old yesterday. I still have him in a diaper but I take him to the toilet every hour and try to keep him dry inbetween (you can adjust the time between trips depending on what your child is capable of). He has sometimes been dry and sometimes not but after only two days, I take any success I can get.

[Matryoshka]

My friend told her dd that the package of diapers they had was the last one, and after that they'd run out, so she'd have to use panties after that. Worked.

 

I adapted this for my twins. I was using cloth, and I'd had 3 in diapers for 6 months (they were almost 3yo). I obviously couldn't say the diapers were going to run out, so I told them that their little sister was getting too big for her infant diapers and was going to need their larger sized ones, so they needed to learn to use the potty so she could have them. I gave them two weeks notice. One was trained a week later, the other took to the deadline, but then was done.

[Ottakee]

Well, if she is ABLE but just not willing, I would NOT let her go to the neighbors at all. If she is not big enough to use the toilet, she is NOT big enough to go anywhere without mom or dad.

 

I would encourage you to get a potty chair and even put it in the kitchen, etc. so she has easy access. Maybe a sundress with no panties either.

 

Does she go when you ask but doesn't stay dry? Are you sure she can stay dry? My girls both have spastic bladders and my older one was go everytime I took her but she could NOT stay dry. Her bladder would empty before it was full enough to give her the signal she had to go. We saw a urologist and within 3 days of starting meds for this, she was dry day and almost every night.

 

My youngest dd NEVER went on the toilet--not even ONCE until she was 4 1/2. We started the meds and she was dry day and night.

 

If you are sure this is not a medical issue and you must train her, then I would say that she needs to stay in the same room with you and set a timer for every hour or so.

[FO4UR]

COTTON! on the tushie!!!:tongue_smilie:

 

Buy some decent training pants (aka NOT gerber:lol:), or if you sew, stitch in some little piddle pads in her undies to keep the floors dry.

 

When she wets herself, she changes herself, and cleans up the mess. (mom sneaks behind to sanitize if needed;)) She will figure out that it is better to just pee in the potty than to clean up after herself.

 

My ds5 was not PLing on his own and at 3.5yo I just took away all dipes.

 

My dd wore ONLY COTTON at 2yo (we CD) and she PLed super easy.

 

I am PLing my now 2yo at the present.....my favorite phrases for him are "don't peepee on Nemo, and don't touch poop!":lol::lol::lol:

 

Oh, and dappi nylon covers are great!

[Kim in Appalachia]

When my oldest was nearly 3 I took her to Toys R Us and told her I would buy her anything in the store if she would pee and poop on the potty. It took a week (she had been potty trained already but refused to go!). One day she just decided she was going to use the potty all the time. I took her to the store and she picked out a T-ball set. :D I got off cheap!

[Kathleen in VA]

I'm in the bribery camp - Skittles did it for all five of mine:D.

[GraceinMD]

This, straight from the lips of Dr. Ben Carson*, world-renowned pediatric neurosurgeon (this is what he did with his child, what I did with mine, and what a pharmacist I know did just last month with hers - and I think I've recommended before - so maybe others have had success, too!):

 

Fact: The child must be cleaned up after the "accident."

Fact: The clean up does not have to be pleasant (this is NOT NOT NOT punishment for the accident - you must be very clear about that).

Solution: The clean up is accomplished with c-o-l-d water (shower or tub) instead of warm, pleasant water.

The accompanying 'script' for the clean up is (very matter-of-fact and sympathetic), "Oh, I'm sooooo sorry that you weren't able to go in the potty. Well, let's get you cleaned up. Oh, I know it's cold, but we can't let you go around without being clean, sweetie." (And it's not lying to your child! That is, do NOT say, "Well, yes, it could be warm, but you made more work for me, so it's gonna be cold!!" You are truly sad that dc didn't make it to the potty - truly very, very sad!)

 

HTH!

 

* (the back story is that I was sitting next to him at a fund-raiser dinner - and Heaven itself only knows why I brought up potty-training with him. :blush: But it helped!)

[Kfamily]

First, we did pick out big girl panties but not to wear until we could go potty like a big girl.

 

Second, we wore thick underpants while getting the hang of this.

 

Third, we kept diapers at night time and even naps until they were getting the hang of it. We took nap diapers away first.

 

Last, we did a diaper countdown. I told dd how many diapers there were (I start with a decent number like a pack number-33, I can't remember how many are in a pack now:lol:) and each day the number decreases. I remind dd that once they are gone I will not buy anymore. This is good for mom too because I know I tended not to deal with it some days (busy days) and as the number decreased it reminded me to work hard at it too. Finally, one day, they are all gone and we wear them no more except at night but soon we take those too. I let my dd take a book with her and they use the big toilet with a stool for their feet.

 

I tried charts, etc with older dd but to no avail. This worked so well we did the same with younger dd and it worked for her too.

 

Good luck and HTH!!

 

They are so lovely and grow so quickly!:001_smile: My younger dd is 5 now!

[Trivium Academy]

:D I do this with ds4 when he poos in his pants. Ds4 was not going to give up his pull-ups, he was not going to magically say, "I want to potty like a big kid." So, I made the pull-ups disappear, as soon as we were out, we stopped buying them.

 

Every 30 minutes, and I set the timer, he had to go to the bathroom. I didn't reward him with anything but praise. Now, I've cleaned him up with warm water in the tub for his poo mistakes- which will stop thanks to Grace's passing of knowledge, he will get cold water only.

 

Make sure you have enough underwear, I'd say 14 would be good so that you don't have to wash all that you have every 2nd day, lol. I would not go anywhere, including neighbors houses, etc. until she is consistently using the potty to pee.

 

THere are a few things I did to make sure he was ready, at night he'd be put to bed in a clean pull-up (duh, right?) and I noticed he was dry in the morning. When this happened consistently, I saw that as a readiness sign. Also, while we're out in public he wouldn't dirty himself unless we were gone for a very long time, another readiness sign. I'm talking he'd hold whatever in for 6-8 hours! After that, he would just go in his pull-up.

 

I didn't read any books on potty training, I didn't try anyone else's suggestions, I just looked at what was in front of me and worked with our circumstances. I'm not great with follow-through on incentive charts and I prefer not to bribe but those may work for you. I think having the attitude that it's time to do this and we're going to do it now will help.

[Pamela H in Texas]

sounds like she doesn't really *know* what her body is no doubt telling her.

 

I personally like the Potty Train in a Day method. Takes 4 hours, tops 4 days. Kid knows within a couple hours, "oh, this is what it feels like, then I pee." They like the party that happens while its going on also. A few reminders over the next couple days and life is grand.

 

She's definitely old enough to do it ALL by herself. SHe just needs to know what is going on with her body in order to do it.

 

Anyway, get the book...or maybe I can find a post I wrote outlining the "cheetos" method a bit more thoroughly. The basic idea is that for one morning, you eat a lot of salty foods and drink tons so they have the urge and must potty A LOT. They wear panties and get to practice the up and down of it all. You "throw a party" when she goes in the potty. She learns, by doing this, what the urge feels like and that we do it in the potty. You repeat a second morning if you must but probably won't need to. For a few days, you remind her about pottying. She cleans up any messes she makes. If she's not 99% by day 4, give up for a month or two. However, the chance of that being the case is nil at her age assuming she's within average range generally. Poo may take longer just because 1) you can't make it happen enough that she "gets" it and 2) kids often think of poo as PART of them for some reason.

[Sue G in PA]

I knew I could count on the Hive for some great ideas! Love them all. I'm not above bribery(ummm....I mean rewards). I'll use chocolate chips since I have them on hand. :D Love the lots of salty foods idea and drinking lots. I have ONE pack of Pull Ups left so I'll do the "after this, no more" thing. She'll get it. Oh, must check out Dr. Phil's method as well. Thanks ya'll!

 

Oh....LOVE the cold water clean-up. I'm just mean enough to try it! :D

[KatieJ]

I really never had a struggle with each of my kids. I took my Mom's advice. Make a big deal out of getting the potty chair out..stay home and just do it.

 

HOWEVER..you are past that stage are into a battle of the wills with her. But as Dr. Phil says, you must always win the fight.

 

Maybe try a reverse reward....maybe set out a jar of M'M's or animal crackers or whatever..and take a few of them away if she deliberately doesn't use the potty or uses the neighbors couch for her toilet.

Then at the end of the day she gets what is left. Possibly the visual of what she could have had but lost will be better than earning a treat when she goes.

 

Stars on a chart to earn a new toy or trip to the ice cream store or whatever will keep her motivated might help too. She needs to be encouraged to do what she apparently knows how to do...but lacks motiviation to do it.

HTH

[Sue G in PA]

I think I might have hit on the big incentive. My dd11 just told me that the neighbor girls whom my children play with a lot told her that my dd2 couldn't come over anymore until she was potty trained. This is the neighbor whose sofa and porch dd urinated on. So, I told dd2 tonight that she couldn't go over her friend's house until she learned to use the potty when she had to pee and poo. Well, dd2 leapt off the couch and ran to the bathroom and sat on the pot! :D She didn't have to go right then, but hey...it's a start!