How do your kids meet other kids and make friends if...

[housemouse]

Edit

 

 

---you are not in a homeschool co-op or homeschool group

 

 

 

---there are no kids of similar age kids on your street to play with (homeschooled or public schooled)- well, there is one family here few houses from us with same age boy as ds, but the mother keeps bugging me to put my kids in public school, so them I do not count.

 

 

 

---you are not part of the church or any church group

 

 

 

---you are not in sports or arts (band, drama, dancing, etc.)

 

 

 

---you are not part of 4H, girl scouts, boy scouts and other similar organizations.

 

 

 

This year is turning out to be extra challenging in this department. Some people we knew moved away so we have to start from scratch so to speak. Other than going to paid classes at the community center or art center I have not been able to come up with anything else.

 

 

 

Any suggestion would be most welcome and much appreciated.

 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Go play at a nearby park often?

[MissKNG]

Is there a summer recreation program nearby? Those are usually free.

[TarynB]

Ditto the park.

 

Also try the public library. During the school year, if you go during school hours, you're especially likely to bump into other homeschoolers. We found that some families go at the same time & day each week.

[Arcadia]

The libraries nearby have afterschool chess, crochet/knitting and book clubs that are open to all (homeschool, private, public). A much further library to me has a homeschool book club.

Our nearby park has only toddlers, babies and middle schoolers (from the next door public school) so no help in our case.

[housemouse]

When I talk meeting others, I do not mean just for the summer, but year round.

 

Every class that would be geared towards dc age does not interest them (at least with the programs they have right now. They usually rotate them, so I will have to wait until next rotation)

 

The 3 local parks that we have gets taken over by middle and high schoolers (age 12+) starting about 4 pm. Majority of them are extremely rude, pushing, shoving, using inappropriate language. No concideration for smaller children that may be at the park at that time. They just plow through to get to what ever place they have to get. So, in a way it would be somewhat dangerous if I took all of my kids there with youngest being 2. I figured, kids have no parental supervision so they do what they want. Another thing that happen more than once which was a shocker to me personally, more than one kid told my oldest that they would no play with him because he was homeschooled. Ds was very upset by that. Before 4 pm, no kids (other than babies and toddlers-age 3-4 and under) are at the park since school does not let our until 3:30 pm.

 

Keep ideas rolling

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I would normally suggest many of the things you say you don't do, so other than the park...and maybe the library I am not sure what else is left.

 

When we moved out to a new town and began homeschooling we joined the homeschooling groups we could find, checked out the park, tried some homeschool classes out, went to the library often hoping to see other families there. Eventually we met and made friends, and then we lucked out a homeschooling family (that we get along with!) moved in across the street. It took us a while to establish a social circle for the boys.

 

We do not do so many outside activities now, but I took time to check out quite a few options before we pared them down.

 

Now we do music (band, orchestra) and 4H. That is it. Occasionally get together with the friends we've made or participate in a particularly interesting field trip someone has planned.

[Forgiven]

I feel it's my responsibility to make sure that my kids are involved in activities that will introduce them to other kids. I also do not believe they have to have friends that are their exact same age. We go to the park a lot, to the library, and I enroll my kids in classes where they can meet others. Am I worried about socialization? No. What I don't want, though, is to hear my children say, "I don't have any friends." I want them to have someone--at least one good friend--that they can build memories with, so I feel your plight.

 

I also agree that the kinds of kids that hang out at your park wouldn't be the ideal for friendships. Our park is very similar. We actually go to the park when I know those kinds of kids won't be there. My youngest, 6-year-old boy, makes friends with kids of all ages. My other two will play alone, and if someone close to their age shows up, they'll play with them, but they do stay away from the real young kids.

 

Since beginning to homeschool, my kids haven't made many new friends, but they were lucky enough to be involved in different activities before we started to homeschool, so they already had a set of friends, that they still hang out with. They have made a few new friends, but you can't force friendship. They'll click with some kids, and not with others. Out of all the new kids they've met from homeschooling over the past two years, they've only become good friends with one family. That's it.

 

I would just say to get them involved with something. I have found that there are tons of things to do. I never realized how much there was to do for free in our area until I started homeschooling. It's amazing to see all the opportunities, especially at the libraries, but also at stores like Home Depot, Lowes, and Lakeshore learning, and Bass Pro Shops. If you have any of these near you, they each have free workshops for kids. Some are once a month, some twice a month, and Bass Pro Shops is three days a week.

 

Just getting out once a week is good for my kids, but I only have one extrovert. The other two are introverts, so they're happy to stay at home all day. My extrovert is the one who bounces off my walls if he doesn't get out of the house regularly. LOL

 

Do you have any homeschool field trip groups in your area? We got sick of our homeschool group and joined a field trip group instead. They don't have regular meetings or anything, it's just an email group that plans field trips. Anyone can plan a field trip and email it to everyone else and then anyone interested in joining, does so. There's no pressure to meet every week or to plan anything in advance. You do the things that interest you, and maybe plan something yourself--you don't need to plan anything if you don't want to. You can just join others...

 

Even if you just find a group of moms that meet up, you can sometimes form a friendship with a woman who has kids that your kids could become friends with...My daughter's best friend is my best friend's daughter. They aren't the same age. My oldest son's best friend is two years older than him. My younger son doesn't really have a best friend, but he's also my extrovert who makes friends with everyone and anyone. Wherever he goes, he's the center of attention. I find it to be quite annoying, to be honest, because I want him to make a real, true, friend, not the superficial, surface-level friendships that he tends to make everywhere he goes.

[Mandy in TN]

This is the Logic and Middle Grades Challenges Board. If you want suggestions that are also toddler friendly, you may receive more responses if you cross-post to the General Board.

 

How old are the children for whom you are looking for activities? Is there some sort of games shop where they can hang out? Without structure can they handle themselves with people outside of their age group? If they need structure to interact with others, then I would definitely sign them up for activities. If they do not, then I would find out where people hang out and take them there. 

 

If they need that structure, I may would just tell them tough bananas and enroll in something even if there was no interest. I would explain that in order to meet people they must put themselves out there. These are the options, so pick something or I will choose for you. <shrug> They may like it once they get there.

 

HTH-

Mandy

 

 

[Targhee]

You've listed some great ways to get to know other kids. I am sure you have reasons you can not/choose not to use those. This does make it more difficult. Some ideas

 

Academic group (math team, science O, Destination Imagination, Homeschool Speech and Debate, etc)

 

Maker Space (check for your closest)

 

Volunteer opportunities (depending on age)

 

Park

 

Community events (market, parade, city celebrations, fair, etc)

 

Best wishes. Having moved often, to places far from family and support, I know it can be difficult to cultivate friendships and social support. It is so important, though, for for everyone's well being.

[Walking-Iris]

I live in an area that is not super homeschool friendly in this area. If you have a child that is not sporty (like mine) tough luck. If you do not attend church (tough luck). The 4-H program in my area is seriously sad, just sad. And even the small co-op is religiously based and awkward (and sporty!!!!). We also do not have any children in our neighborhood. We live on a street of elderly couples or graduating teens.

 

It's difficult because I've found that most of our adult friends with children (who are ps) are extremely busy. They even admit that their kids don't get together with friends all that often out of school or activities.

 

It can be frustrating.

[sillymommy]

Have you thought of having the kids join Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts? That's where we meet & make most of our friends. I also seek out classes for homeschoolers. Currently, kids are taking a class at the local art museum. As a military family, we're constantly forced to make new friends. It's challenging, but good for all of us.

[redsquirrel]

How old are your kids? that can make a difference in the suggestions. But, I also know if you don't go to where the people are then you won't meet the people. That is how we (as humans) meet people, we go to places where other people are.

 

If my kids lives were that quiet (and it has happened) then I would find ways to do some of those things you mentioned. I have joined the co-op for one school year just to meet families. It got our names and faces known in the homeschool community. I haven't belonged for years, but we know people now. Does the co-op have an email list or facebook group? because that is how homeschool families share info about local happenings. We belong to a UU church that we attend specifically because it has a great religious education program and it gives my kids time with others their age. We do stuff like go to swim lessons at the Y and we get to know some local faces from there. My boys take dance class and we know lots of families from that now. BTW, the dance school here is stuffed with homeschoolers.

 

If kids don't attend school then they meet other kids during activities or because their families are friends with other families with kids. Friends don't appear from nothing, it takes a bit of work at first. You have to meet and mingle and invite people over and put yourself out there. But then it gets easier.

[helena]

I know you said no sports, but that's when it all changed for us. Our kids go to a fencing school. Besides the sports instruction, they think of it as a club. They hang out, do homework, play foosball, and work out. There's all different ages, friends in elementary and going off to college, boys and girls. It really pulls a neat group of kids together.

Do you have a local pool?

 

Hope you find something that works for you soon! Sometimes it can get lonely real fast.

[Jean in Newcastle]

The Y

[Pen]

1) Choose whatever to you is the best/least bad option of available options (a class even if not of great interest, a 4H type group, sport, paid art center class, etc) especialy considering it from the social point of view, and do that, emphasizing the meeting others part, and accepting that it is important to do something like that for social reasons just as math is important-- and if that doesn't work right away, stick with it to become more a part of the group, and /or try something else.

 

2) Start your own group for an activity that your children would like and you would approve of to help find others with similar interests.

 

3) And make an effort to develop (or allow) the friendship with the child(ren) on the block and ignore that they bug you about public school or ask them please not to--everyone has things that bug others--you would not want to overlook something that seemed dangerous, but this seems only to be an annoyance. Same block friendships are hard to beat with organized activities and playdates. And learning to accept differences is part of friendship.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Things we've done in the past: Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts. You don't have to join the closest unit - you can shop around for one that is the best fit. Homeschool groups - some have had weekly classes, others have been field trip oriented. One group mostly did one big group trip per quarter and bi-weekly bowling join ups. Homeschool taekwondo and ice skating classes. In the case of TKD, the classes existed because some earlier families had approached the owner about a daytime group class. By the time we left, he was not only offering two levels for homeschoolers, but had also started homeschooling his own kids. Competition groups like Odyssey of the Mind, Math Counts, FIRST Lego League. Community groups that welcome younger members (we are active with our friends of the library group, others do rocketry, astronomy, model aircraft, or historical society). My kids also did a couple years of rock climbing classes. One thing I've found is that if I want a volunteer run outside activity to work, I generally need to be willing to put some pretty heavy effort into helping run the group. Not only does it make the group better, but it makes us more informed and invested in it.

[Tess in the Burbs]

Post on the local homechool yahoo or group site a park day/time and go regularly. Tell about your kids ages and others usually come if they know someone is there. Seek out a class during the day they have interest in. Go to library in the daytime. I find meeting people first of sept to be easier than summer.