Normal for 7 year old?

[KrissiK]

For the past.... year or more, we haven't really been keeping track.... our 7 year old daughter has been coming into our room in the middle of the night (every night) and sleeping on the floor. She's never been a great sleeper, but we'd hoped that with her adenoids out, and her snoring gone, she'd sleep better. Even after that, she'd wake up, call for Daddy and not let him leave till she fell asleep again. Finally, so we'd get some sleep, we told her she could come in and sleep on our floor if she woke up and was scared. That seemed to satisfy her and all is well, from that standpoint. She does claim to be scared at night and we've talked through all her fears, everything we're supposed to do, but she keeps waking up. And there are other issues..... she still wets every night and she also has tantrums during the day, which make me wonder if she's not getting restful sleep. I'm hesitant about going to the dr. because I can't count the number of times I've mentioned a concern to a child's doctor (and they've had numerous doctors over the years) and the first thing they do is make a bunch of referrals to specialists and it's just like.... overkill IMHO. This same child, as a baby, was referred for an echo-cardiogram because her ped thought he heard a heart murmer. We did the whole procedure, only to have the dr. who did it say, "This child's got the healthiest heart I've ever seen!" It's like the doctors don't have time to think things through so they just pawn us off on a specialist. And I don't want that. At least not yet. Any advice? Been there, done that? She'll grow out of it?

[Ottakee]

Did she ever have a sleep study done? That is something worth considering, esp. if she had a lot of trouble before the tonsils and adenoids.

 

My brother's doctor put his 6 and 8 year olds on a low dose of Melatonin to help them with sleep and it has been a huge help for them.......but you would want a doctor's OK for a young child.

[Rosie_0801]

Try a chiro for the bedwetting and if that doesn't work, harass the paediatrician until they work out why.

[*********]

Moose is 7 and prefers to "camp out" on our floor more often than sleep in his own bed in the room he shares with Zee. He's not scared, started staying dry at night at age 5, and doesn't have tantrums, so I don't know if this helps at all. But I just wanted to post because for *my* seven year old, it's perfectly normal to find him sleeping on our floor. He just loves to be with Mommy and Daddy. (In fact, both Moose and Zee would greatly prefer if we had one big bedroom that we all four slept in every night. Uh, daddy says no to that, LOL.)

[GSOchristie]

My kids go through phases of sleeping on our floor. It is such a common occurrence that we keep a mattress there made up as a bed :/. My six year old will do it if he's seen something remotely stimulating, ie, Transformers (the cartoon from the 80's), GI Joe (cartoon), etc, so we have to limit what he gets to watch or he will be sleeping on our floor for a week. If Jackson gets up to go the the bathroom or has an accident, he will come in our room. He just started sleeping through the night about two months ago, so having him sleep on our floor and not wake us up is a huge improvement.

[LibraryLover]

5-8, ime, is when kids start to understand that parents aren't miracle workers. These are the years life fears manifest; they start to understand that adults cannot protect against all death, robbers, tornadoes etc. They understand there are some things parents can't control. This happens even in families who limit media.

When one of mine was 5, dc was convinced a certain road in our town meant certain death for me. DC fretted like crazy about me driving on that road. I don't know if dc heard about an accident or whatnot, but it took weeks for dc to get a handle on this fear. I reassured as best I could, "I drive carefully, I watch for other drivers, the road isn't particularly dangerous' etc.

Even if a little person hasn't watched news, or heard folks talking about bombings or break-ins, they still have the cognitive ability to imagine these scenarios. I am the mother who is fine with children sleeping in the bed or on the floor. Most people do not like to sleep alone, anyway. If you don't want the child in your room (and really, it is a brief period), go with the child to her bed and snuggle her to sleep. (This is one reason I am not a fan of toddler beds. ;))

I would say it is 100% normal for the age. I would stay calm, reassure the child, "You are safe. I will take care of you. It;'s so peaceful outside." Depending on age/personality , I might even add, "I have 911 on speed-dial! Everything is fine." This is the age kids need lots of reassurance about parental and personal security,

However, I believe it is best to keep it sweet and simple. "You are fine. I am here. It's so peaceful outside." (Begging the forgiveness of folks who are not able to say such things. )

Know too, that a teen will not be sleeping in your bed. :)

[trulycrabby]

Floor? No; we live in an area where brown recluse spiders are endemic, so we have a king-sized bed and DS comes in to sleep in the middle of the night.

[blondeviolin]

The bedwetting is normal here. My older kids all stay in their beds most nights. They don't come in our room unless they've had a nightmare or are sick.

 

Did she mention what she is afraid of or why she wakes up or needs you there? Does she to to bed in her own bed by herself at the start of each night?

[LibraryLover]

 Some kids just do. Small bladder? Heavy sleeper? Wetting doesn't always mean there is a serious problem.

I would chit chat about wearing nighttime pants or whatnot. Tell her she will outgrow it etc.

Of course, if a Dr can help, get the help. (And limit liquids after a certain time if you can, although that's more difficult when it's warm outside.)

 

[countrygal]

I only have advice on the bedwetting, and possibly the tantrums. This may seem off the wall, but I believe in it even if many haven't heard of it. She may be sensitive to electrical fields (electrosensitvity) and that can cause disrupted brain waves (our brains are electrical) and symptoms of that are bedwetting and behavioral (short tempered, easily acting out as well as forgetfulness, unclear thinking.) Try decreasing the electromagnetic fields in your house and around her. Turn off all Wi-Fi when not in use, make sure her bed isn't against a wall where the electrical meter is or by an electrical box (or under her room in the basement as well, walls don't stop emf), or any other electrical devices (particularily microwaves, TV's, computers, clock radios, etc...) best to be 6-10 feet away. Get rid of wireless (cordless) phones and don't let her use cell phones. Also, living near cell towers (I don't know how to escape these anymore!!) substations and larger transmission lines or having a transformer close to your house is a problem. Some houses are just plain in bad electrical areas and require testing and moving, but try the simple stuff to see if it helps. Ok, now everyone can call me a crazy. I just have personal experience that makes me a believer. Also, try getting rid of sugar and have her eat every 2 hours during the day, my 5 yo gets mood swings terrible if she eats sugar or hasn't eaten in a while. Stopping sugar helped me sleep better as well. I think it's normal for her to be scare and want to be in your room at times though, I think just trying these things may help her sleep better in general. I'm sorry about the doctor experiences. I feel the same way sometimes, all you want is advice and they just shove you off because they don't know the answer. Dr. Hive will help!

[Dandelion]

she keeps waking up. And there are other issues..... she still wets every night and she also has tantrums during the day, which make me wonder if she's not getting restful sleep.

 

Sleep issues, bedwetting, and tantrums past the "normal age" were all tied to diet for DS. When he was 7, we had an IgG blood test done to test for food sensitivities. He tested reactive to gluten, dairy, and 7 other foods. A few days after removing all gluten and dairy, he started sleeping much better. His behavior began improving within a few days as well (fewer tantrums, less aggression, less hyperactivity, etc.). Within 2 weeks, he stopped wetting the bed.

 

A few months before we made the diet changes, he was actually diagnosed with sleep apnea (via an overnight sleep study). The doctor recommended removing his adenoids and tonsils. We decided to hold off. After making the dietary changes and removing all of his reactive foods, the swelling in his adenoids and tonsils went down and the sleep apnea seems to have resolved itself. It appears that food reactions were causing systemic inflammation for him.

 

Diet is not always the answer, but I thought I'd share our experience in case it's helpful to you.

[poppy]

Have you looked into constipation as an issue? That is a pretty typical cause of bedwetting at this age.

[KrissiK]

The bedwetting is normal here. My older kids all stay in their beds most nights. They don't come in our room unless they've had a nightmare or are sick.

 

Did she mention what she is afraid of or why she wakes up or needs you there? Does she to to bed in her own bed by herself at the start of each night?

She's afraid of "bad guys". We really try to understand her fears and not minimize them. We check the closet, under the bed, etc. She sleeps with the closet light on, even. I have no idea what wakes her up. She's actually an extremely deep sleeper. Several years ago when we were trying to deal with the bedwetting I made a couple attempts at waking her up to go before we went to bed and she wouldn't wake up and when I finally drug her to the potty she became combative. So, that lasted about 1 night. Lol. She wears pull-ups to bed. Her former pediatrician said she'd grow out of it and not to worry about it. I guess I'm not so worried about the bedwetting per se, as the entirety of her sleep habits and wonder if they are symptoms of... something.

[LibraryLover]

They may be symptoms of cognitive development. Some children are far more sensitive than others. It doesn't sound to me that something is wrong. She is only 7. A need met in early childhood is a need met.
 

 

[Amy in NH]

None of my kids has ever slept in my room past the infant stage. If they wake up in the middle of the night they can turn on their bedside light and read until they feel sleepy again. I have gone in for comfort in the case of a bad nightmare, but never for more than 20 minutes-ish, and that has only happened a handful of times.

 

I agree with getting a sleep study.