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Grief--so much harder than I expected


lollie010
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I am so sorry for your loss.

 

My Mom died I was young, she had been sick my whole life. My Dad died very suddenly when I was in my early thirties. My children and I were devistated. Nothing prepares you for the grief. Be kind to yourself and lean on others.

 

My DC took comfort in writing notes and picking out pictures that were put in a drawer in the casket.

 

 

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So very, very sorry.

 

When you have time and energy there is a children's book, I'll See You In My Dreams, that deals with chronic illness and death. My mother bought my sister and me each a copy when our brother was killed in a plane crash. We were young adults, but it still helped.

 

When my mom died (just age 66, after multiple battles with cancer) I found the book again. I had broken down at her funeral and couldn't handle attending the reception afterwards.

 

My brother died 20 years ago, and my mom 10. The pain and grief will be very hard to bear for a while, but it gets better over time. Hug your little ones. Tell them that Grandpa is a guardian angel now, watching over them (and you). My kids still talk to Uncle M and Grandma L, even though they never knew M, and my eldest was just a toddler when Mom died.

 

Take care of yourself, and let others take care of you, too. You have a great big group hug from us here in these forums. Let us know how you are doing.

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(((Hugs))) and sending cyber cookies your way.

 

My father died 3 years ago after a 2 year struggle with cancer. I felt so very comforted when someone brought over a plate of warm snickerdoodle cookies. Cookies are my ultimate comfort food.

 

Even though we knew it was coming, it suprised me how hard it hit me both emotionally and physically. Take the time you need to put other things in your life on the back burner as your work through your grief. Time helps. Dh's mother passed away last month and my daughter sang at the funeral. Attending her funeral and coming together to mourn with family was very healing. Everyone has their own way of mourning and dealing with loss, I pray that you find the comfort you need.

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I am so sorry for your loss. My dad died 13 years ago from cancer and though it has gotten easier, I still miss him every day. In some ways it made me appreciate my llife and my children more. It has made me more understanding of other's grief and loss. I think I am a better person.

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