HollyDay Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 My father passed away last March. My mother is alive but living in another state. Their wedding anniversary is Valentine's Day. Do I send a Valentine's card? Anniversary card? I just don't know. Last Valentine's Day, we were meeting with the doctors talking about DNR paperwork. I'm just not sure how to handle this Valentine's/Anniversary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I'd call or send a card, or both, however you ordinarily interact. I think that would be very thoughtful. The day might be a sensitive one for your mom. My mom called me today to remind me that today is my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. My dad passed away a few years ago. I feel bad that I remembered last week but forgot today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 How about a "thinking of you" card. Because that is what you are really doing. You are wanting to express you love and concern. You can write a note inside expressing something like "I hope you remember all the happy Valentine's days with Dad. Call me if you want to reminisce." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I think OrganicAnn's suggestion above is perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeindeed Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 I agree with OrganicAnn also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 I love the idea of a 'thinking of you' card. Call to share a happy memory of your dad. Say his name or Daddy or whatever you called him. It's okay if everyone cries a little bit or a whole lot. Hugs to you as you grieve, remember, and live on. (My Dad will have been gone 30 (!) years in early March. I still miss him!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 How about a "thinking of you" card. Because that is what you are really doing. You are wanting to express you love and concern. You can write a note inside expressing something like "I hope you remember all the happy Valentine's days with Dad. Call me if you want to reminisce." Very well stated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kbpaulie Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 How about a "thinking of you" card. Because that is what you are really doing. You are wanting to express you love and concern. You can write a note inside expressing something like "I hope you remember all the happy Valentine's days with Dad. Call me if you want to reminisce." :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*LC Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Yes, please remember this date with your mom. I have a friend from a grief group who truly appreciated that her daughters sent her flowers to mark her wedding anniversary. If your father sent fowers for Valentine's Day/anniversary, that might be something she is worried about missing that day. I know it hurts that no one ever remembered my husband and my anniversary after he died. Even though we didn't get enough time together, I am still thankful we married. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 you need to consider your mom and how she copes and deals. My dh and his siblings sent their mother a dozen red roses for their parents anniversary as their father had always given her roses for their anniversary. It was several years after his father had died. She loved the roses - and asked them to never do it again because it was too painful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 My mom didn't want us to mark the day at all. Didn't want any recognition that their anniversary was that day. BUT, my dad died 20 days before their anniversary. It was so, so close. I don't know what she'll want this year. I did call an check on her midway through the day to make sure she was okay. That was normal for me to do though. It was their 42nd anniversary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 I agree with following her lead :grouphug: . Grieving is a very individual thing. My mil does not want any reminders of her fil. Knowing what to do can be very difficult and the last thing we want to do is be hurtful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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