Mrs Mungo Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Well, at least she called someone in the family, but am I the only one who wouldn't even think of posting on Facebook within hours of a huge tragedy? We have to tell soldiers not to post about the deaths of their friends. We have to tell spouses not to post about the death of their soldier. They don't always think about the family and/or extended family not immediately notified as next of kin. They are only thinking about their own loss and grief. It is too much and they don't know how to handle it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vonfirmath Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 Let's give her the benefit of the doubt. Her husband died unexpectedly. I'm not sure I would be thinking rationally. It just seems kind of harsh to be calling a new widow names. ...I can see reacting exactly the way this lady did if it was my husband. I'm not that close to his sister at all. I'd try to get a hold of his mom in person. But I wouldn't want to talk to everyone else and Facebook would be a good way to let them know I was hurting without having to have the conversation a thousand times. An acquaintance of mine lost her husband a week ago Sunday, unexpectedly. And it was on Facebook before the end of the day. that's a support system all of its own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patches Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm so sorry! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
---- Posted January 19, 2013 Author Share Posted January 19, 2013 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm so sorry!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I am so sorry :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm very sorry for your loss. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I am so, so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 :grouphug: I'm so sorry for your loss (and your SIL + nephew's loss). :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm sorry for your loss. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 So sorry for your loss. It sounds like you're handling the situation well with your SIL. Just something else to consider...I don't do FB, and I personally can't imagine finding out about such a personal loss in a public forum, but honestly, the shock, punched in the gut feeling would have been the same no matter how you found out. If SIL had called you, you would have had to deal with your own shock and grief, while trying to come up with words to comfort her, and it might well have been overwhelming for both of you. At least this way you were able to process the shock in your own way and in your own time, and were better able to support her when you did talk to her. I know I'd rather grieve in my own corner for a while rather than having to compose myself for a phone conversation while in a state of shock. I hope you can maintain a meaningful relationship with your nephew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaffodilDreams Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 So very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 19, 2013 Share Posted January 19, 2013 I'm really sorry. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyomarie Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Thanks for all the kind words! I managed to have a brief Facebook chat with my sil earlier. There's never been any animosity between us, and I don't want the way I found out to create any. It was just so shocking to see a picture of my brother smiling with his kid next to a post saying he was gone. Initially it felt like a punch to the gut, but I figure I can't judge her actions until I've walked in her shoes, and don't wish to jeopardize my relationship with my nephew by having drama between sil and myself. My youngest sister and I saw the Facebook post at roughly the same time, and she was able to call our other 2 sisters and our mother to warn them. My mother was able to share the news with our baby brother. We've been unable to reach my brother who lives around the world from us, so I'm thinking him or his wife will discover (or already have) the news the same way we did. I'm thankful that while we weren't close, there wasn't any hard feelings. I was able to have a chat with him at Christmastime, and told him that I loved him and missed him. There's comfort in that. I'm so glad you were able to be gracious to your SIL. How hard it is to find out in such an impersonal way about your brother, but you are wise to consciously choose to avoid drama. For what it's worth, when my mom passed away last October, even though people were expecting it soon, and I had even posted updates on my FB, I waited to post that most difficult update until all key family members had been notified. It was helpful that I had heard others' stories of learning such shocking news in an impersonal way and it reminded me that picking up the telephone for immediate family first is always in good taste. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 I am sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted January 20, 2013 Share Posted January 20, 2013 Thanks for the update. You really handled the situation well. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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