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Friend threatening suicide! Help?!


Guest inoubliable
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Find a way to have someone check on him. Police, if necessary. Don't hesitate.

 

If he commits suicide, there won't be a friendship to salvage, and you will live with regret. If you save his life, you'll work through it later. If he was just spouting off, then he'll learn that spouting off about suicide is not a socially acceptable way to vent. He might be angry at you, but his life is worth more than that.

 

I speak from experience. 10 years ago, long-term friend acted the same way during an online chat. I called the police in his town, just in time. He was in a coma, but survived. Our friendship survived, too. He is healthy again, and I am grateful for our friendship.

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Take it SERIOUSLY! A friend of a friend killed herself a couple of months ago. It was HORRIBLE. She too just shared rather casually, no real threats in terms of explaining how she planned to do it or anything, just a general/overall depression. Then, she did it, without warning, and she was gone, forever. She was only 20. Her family is overwhelmed. It is horrible.

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Believe him.

 

Call the police in his town if there is nobody else to intervene.

 

He will be calmer if he is through the decision-making process and moving on to the preparation process.

:iagree: Getting things in order and the verbal warnings he gave should not be ignored. It would be better to err on the side that he was ok and have him mad, rather than not do anything and have him gone. :grouphug:

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PLEASE don't let this go!! He may have just been trying to get your attention, but suicidal tendencies are VERY deep seeded! My dad killed himself last year (Sept 17th will be a year). It is NOT something that "pops" into your mind when you're upset and suddenly goes away when you calm down.

 

If he's a Christian, encourage him to seek Christian counselling (pastor, friend, etc). Suicide is a byproduct of hopelessness. Our only hope is in Christ! If he's "threatening" it, he's looking for help.

 

So glad he has a friend who is in a place to help him BEFORE he does something irreversible!

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Since he's logged back on, why don't you get his mailing address and phone number, even under the guise of needing it for some other purpose? That way you will have your, a-hem, holiday card address list updated, and most importantly, should you need to call the police, you'll have an address.

 

Also, his partner really needs to know about this... Do you know her? Can you all talk?

 

Anyone have experience with someone making threats and then trying to follow through? What to really pay attention to and look for? Are there questions to ask?

 

You can't handle this or stop him from following through alone. This needs help, bigger than you can offer him on your own.

 

One question that is often asked, as far as I know, is, "Do you have a plan?" ...But, again, this is something that needs more support than you can offer. All you can do is take his words at face value, for what they are, and try to help him get the help he needs.

 

:grouphug:

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Depending upon what avenue you are using to chat, you can also notify the site administrators and share the information with them. They have the ability to trace his IP.

 

I would not worry one second about damaging the friendship. You don't want to have to live with the thought that you might have been able to intervene.

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:iagree: Why isn't this the FIRST course of action, for Elizabeth Taylor's sake! Is this a real-life friendship or on online one?

 

Exactly my thoughts.

 

OP, contact his wife. She is the one who really needs to be at the forefront of this.

 

I am all for reporting, though. There's really no downside -- for those who are serious about suicide, help will be provided. If the threat is just being used to get attention or create chaos (common with some personality disorders) it will put an end to that ploy.

 

The two people I know who killed themselves didn't say anything to anyone before doing it. They had already decided and weren't looking to be talked out of their decision. The only indicator with one-- which we couldn't know until after -- was that he called all of his friends, one by one, just to chat, and offered a certain possession to one.

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