I know some of you have VERY talkative younger children. Help!

[Karenciavo]

My older two boys will be away at camp next week and I already have a headache thinking about how much talking my 6 yo will be doing with me. Does that sound terrible? (As I'm typing this I heard ds13 say to ds6, "Ethan, please don't talk." :lol:) Any tips on how to keep my sanity? I'm planning on some outings and having others over to help deflect some of the words onto them, but I thought I'd ask to see how you all handle it.

[Rose in BC]

We've established some "guidelines" through the years including "mommy can't talk before she's had her coffee in the morning". This is true.:) I am an early riser (6 a.m.) but I am not social until a couple hours later. She is also an early riser and would love to chat the morning away. I've gently encouraged her to respect my need for quiet in the morning. Of course she's older now -- this took some time to instill.

 

Sometimes you've got to say "right now mommy is having a break. You need to find something to do quietly and save your talk for later." Or something like that. We feel guilt over this but unless you're cutting off all communication I think it's okay for kids to realize some boundaries, even in this area.

 

Of course at 6, it's not quite that easy.

[Dawn E]

Well....I'm afraid I don't have much advice for you, but I hope it helps to know that my 6 yo is this way also. Since she is the oldest, by far, there is never anyone to deflect it until dad comes home. Sometimes I feel as if my ears will bleed.

 

One thing that has helped has been to give her "room time" where she must either play alone for a set amount of time or listen to a story on cd. She starts off acting as if I am torturing her--lots of protesting and whining--however, she ends up enjoying herself and getting involved in her play. Of course, she continues to talk non-stop (unless a cd is in) but I am somewhat removed from it.

 

In addition to talking incessantly, she never wants to be alone. The two together make for a very long day. This summer has been especially hard since both our homeschool group and gymnastics quit meeting until August.

[Myrtle]

My older two boys will be away at camp next week and I already have a headache thinking about how much talking my 6 yo will be doing with me. Does that sound terrible? (As I'm typing this I heard ds13 say to ds6, "Ethan, please don't talk." :lol:) Any tips on how to keep my sanity? I'm planning on some outings and having others over to help deflect some of the words onto them, but I thought I'd ask to see how you all handle it.

 

When one of my sons was 4 he started talking in the car east of Columbia, SC, on I-20 and did not stop talking until Birmingham, AL.

 

Now that he's older you would think that putting him in front of a video game would otherwise occupy him, but like a sports commentator he runs his mouth nonstop narrating exactly what is happening to everyone around him. He'll even yell down the stairs if we aren't in the same room with him.

 

Next summer I'm thinking about putting him in a summer program run by a private all boys school called the "Marine Military Academy" which was highly recommended to us by a now retired Marine. :D

[Sophia]

Even with 5 siblings to listen to her chatter, my 5 y.o. can still wear us out.

So, we gave her my dad's cell phone #:lol:, and let her call him.

He loves listening to her.

I will also let her play with the v-pocket game usually reserved for long car rides when I get desperate.

 

If I have a headache, I ask her to be quiet for a little while, but her face gets this really hurt look and really, she just can't help herself after five minutes.

So then I just put a smile on and nod every so often so she doesn't know I've tuned her out.

:001_huh: Yikes, that sounds awful, but if you have a talkative child I'm sure you understand.

[tinag]

No help, just sympathy! Sometimes my dh will call home when he is out with our talker asking how long do I think he can go on!:)

[Michelle T]

We've established some "guidelines" through the years including "mommy can't talk before she's had her coffee in the morning". This is true.:) I am an early riser (6 a.m.) but I am not social until a couple hours later. She is also an early riser and would love to chat the morning away. I've gently encouraged her to respect my need for quiet in the morning. Of course she's older now -- this took some time to instill.

 

Sometimes you've got to say "right now mommy is having a break. You need to find something to do quietly and save your talk for later." Or something like that. We feel guilt over this but unless you're cutting off all communication I think it's okay for kids to realize some boundaries, even in this area.

 

Of course at 6, it's not quite that easy.

 

I sometimes describe life with DS as like living under the Niagara Falls of words. There are times I feel like my ears are going to fall off! He's an only child, so I NEVER have a chance to tell him to go talk to a sibling!

 

I hate to admit, I do tune him out sometimes. Sometimes I tell him that my ears need a break. Sometimes I suggest he call a friend (although this doesn't help with younger kids).

 

My DH also talks a lot, so I guess it just runs in the family.

Michelle T

[Karenciavo]

Thanks for commiserating :001_unsure:

[Karenciavo]

but like a sports commentator he runs his mouth nonstop narrating exactly what is happening to everyone around him. He'll even yell down the stairs if we aren't in the same room with him.

 

 

Yup. Last night I heard him talking in the downstairs bathroom while I was doing the dishes and when he came out I said, "Who were you talking to?" He said he was talking to me. :001_huh: When he was 2 he had an imaginary friend, I kind of wish he would move back in.

[mommylawyer]

I'm probably not much use since I'm pretty chatty myself. Good luck with your chatty child!

[Karenciavo]

I'm probably not much use since I'm pretty chatty myself. Good luck with your chatty child!

 

Thanks. :001_smile: That may be part of it, despite all the chatting I do with my fingers here I'm pretty laconic IRL.

[Debbie in OR]

We have one of these (ds9) and began noticing it nearly from the start. My dh and I remember one day in particular when ds was about 2, he went on one talking jag that lasted for two.hours.staight (well, there was breathing and maybe some snacking in there somewhere, but not much). Thankfully, I did not know at the time what was in store for us once he actually had an arsenal of words to pick from (I would have lost my mind earlier)!

 

Anyhow, I don't know if this is true for your ds as well, but one of the things we discovered is that he is also very auditory (don't know if that is typical learning style of those who are very talkative). So, I buy a ton of books, stories, dramas, etc.. on CD and he will listen for HOURS...HOURS, I say, and only occasionally throw out commentary. When our son was 6, we were just beginning to see this auditory thing show up...it took another year or so to for the "AHA" to be complete and that's when we started with the audio books. (He listened to the entire unabridged version of The Iliad and the Odyssey when he was 6 and he was slack-jawed the entire time! No words, no movement, just enchantment). Just a thought...

[sdWTMer]

If you figure that out I'll be truly grateful for any advice! My youngest 8 will be here while my oldest son is at church camp! Oh, how that boy can talk! He's such a people person as well. Oh, my sanity will leave me during that week! Oy.

[Karenciavo]

So, I buy a ton of books, stories, dramas, etc.. on CD and he will listen for HOURS...HOURS, I say, and only occasionally throw out commentary. I wonder if this is true for your son as well?

 

Ooh, good idea. You know, I think he might be a auditory learner, he loves going to bed at night with something on the cd player, he even enjoys listening to Abbeyej's husband going over Greek grammar and vocabulary. Thanks!

[Janna]

I have 2 dc who are talkers. I have wondered aloud if I'm going to be "blessed" (read cursed, LOL) with a 3rd talker or if he's going to be super quiet because he can't get a word in edge-wise. There is constant vocal noise in our house. In fact, just as a side, the power went out the other night from a t-storm and it was sooooo quiet. The kids were in bed, so there was no noise from them, but the air-conditioner wasn't running, the refrigerator wasn't running, there was no computer noise or fans running. It was sooooo quiet. I had no idea how much auditory stimulation we have constantly.

 

Ok, but on to my point. While my ds is a talker, he's NOT a talker when his sister is gone. When he is just with me or with dh and me, he's super independent and quiet. I think that he is vying for attention when his sister is here (she has been known to trump all conversation though she is SO MUCH better - understanding what interrupting is and not doing it etc). He just wants to be heard along with her. Every Monday last school year, dh and dd were gone which just left ds and me. I *loved* that time with him. He was so respectful, he played well on his own, he helped with dishes etc.

 

So maybe...just maybe...your 6yo will be like that too? Pretty please? :)

 

Otherwise, I agree with the poster who mentioned quiet time in his room for a period of time each day. That is what I have had to do with mine when they're home together (which is almost always).

[Jami]

 

Anyhow, I don't know if this is true for your ds as well, but one of the things we discovered is that he is also very auditory (don't know if that is typical learning style of those who are very talkative). So, I buy a ton of books, stories, dramas, etc.. on CD and he will listen for HOURS...HOURS, I say, and only occasionally throw out commentary. When our son was 6, we were just beginning to see this auditory thing show up...it took another year or so to for the "AHA" to be complete and that's when we started with the audio books. (He listened to the entire unabridged version of The Iliad and the Odyssey when he was 6 and he was slack-jawed the entire time! No words, no movement, just enchantment). Just a thought...

 

My non-stop talker is like this. He will spend most of the day in his room alone (talking to himself some) with Redwall CDs on. Of course when he comes out he has thousands of words stored up about what he was building and what if his Legos could come to life and what if we lived next door to Redwall Abbey....:001_huh:

 

But he does love his audiobooks.

 

Jami

[Jami]

Another thought...want to pop him in the mail and send him to us? My 7 year old hates not having a boy to play with every day all day. His sisters have one another, and he'd have a bud over from church every day if I'd okay it. They could talk each other into silence perhaps? :001_smile:

[Plaid Dad]

One word: iPod. Like so many others with chatty kids, we rely on auditory input to stem the tide of words. That and closed doors. Wishing you peace and quiet! :)

[Karenciavo]

 

So maybe...just maybe...your 6yo will be like that too? Pretty please? :)

 

Otherwise, I agree with the poster who mentioned quiet time in his room for a period of time each day. That is what I have had to do with mine when they're home together (which is almost always).

 

I wish, but no. I've had a taste of being alone with him from time to time, just last Wednesday it was me and him from 8:00 AM -10 PM and I was ready for a stiff drink by the end of the day, but I don't drink so... :001_smile:

 

Quiet time would be good though. Thanks.

[Karenciavo]

One word: iPod. Like so many others with chatty kids, we rely on auditory input to stem the tide of words. That and closed doors. Wishing you peace and quiet! :)

 

Thanks. My older two can not bring their iPods to camp so I think I will load one of them with a few books and music.

[Karenciavo]

Another thought...want to pop him in the mail and send him to us? My 7 year old hates not having a boy to play with every day all day. His sisters have one another, and he'd have a bud over from church every day if I'd okay it. They could talk each other into silence perhaps? :001_smile:

 

LOL, Jami I wish we lived next to each other. I know our dee-aiches would get along great too. Ooh, what a great idea! Move to NJ, your husband can work at my husband's ad agency, our boys can play, you and I can hang out. :D

[Staci in MO]

He has to give the recap on everything he sees and does. He's eleven now, and we are just to the point where we can watch shows like America's Funniest Home Videos without him giving the play-by-play even if we're in the same room.

 

He's getting better now, so I assumed he's devleoped a bit of a sense when he's talking just to be talking. I don't know. But I can commiserate.

[3lilreds in NC]

My girls went to VBS a couple of weeks ago, and it was wonderful. Made me want to run out and sign them up for every one I could find for the rest of the summer! :lol: Seriously, though, it would give you a couple hours' break with NO ONE talking to you unless you wished it.

 

Otherwise I think the iPod is your best bet. My parents were always opposed to tape/CD players, especially with headphones, because they didn't want us to "tune them out." Can you tell they weren't homeschoolers? :D

[Karenciavo]

My girls went to VBS a couple of weeks ago, and it was wonderful. Made me want to run out and sign them up for every one I could find for the rest of the summer! :lol: Seriously, though, it would give you a couple hours' break with NO ONE talking to you unless you wished it.

 

His big brothers are going on a Missions trip at the end of the month and I've got a VBS all picked out for him already. :D

[Jill- OK]

...because I have *two*. ::Sigh::

 

Oldest one is 13, and we've trained him to know that some times, at some point...folks just need a breather. We reinforce with lots of "What you have to say is important, you are important, and we want to hear what you have to say...in a few minutes."

 

My younger brother was like this, and my grandmother would say, every so often, "Okay, my ears are tired, and they need to rest." It worked. He didn't feel stifled, and she could concentrate on changing lanes or deciding what to cook for dinner, and then give him the go-ahead to start back up again, lol.

 

In addition to having friends over, you might also have a set period every day for pursuing quiet, individual activities. I don't think there's anything in the world wrong with regular "Quiet Time".

 

Especially if it keeps Mom out of the asylum.

[Jen500]

My ds8 just got a digital voice recorder from RadioShack. He loves talking into it, making up stories, and then listening.

[Doran]

Except she's 11.5! What a chatterbox. Quite often, after dh comes home from work, he'll soon say, "Does this child ever stop talking?" The answer is always a resounding NO! (Honestly, it rankles me to hear him say that after having only been home for a short time. Who does he think has been at the receiving end of her talking the whole dang day!? He's supposed to represent fresh ears. Clearly it bothers him more than me. :glare: )

 

Over the years I have used, to varying degrees of success, all of the following tactics:

 

1. "Honey, Mommy's head is about to explode and you simpy must stop talking to me for 30 minutes. Here. I'm setting the timer. Go find something to do for half an hour."

 

2. Audiobooks. She will plough through a hefty audiobook without coming up for air. A good book can often mean I get several hours of uninterrupted silence. They're the greatest thing since candy! :D

 

3. I do allow videos/dvds on weekends. They help. A lot!

 

4. Art. She will engage in an art project fairly willingly. If it's a project that she can do indoors there will still be running chatter (or music..she sings, too), but if it's something like spray bottles filled with Tempera paints and a big sheet of paper -- the sort of thing that has to happen in the driveway -- then I get maybe a solid half hour of quiet. Same for chalk art.

 

5. Games. Make a game of saying "Bet you can't stay quiet for 20 minutes." Figure out some kind of lovely reward -- like a box of chalk to take out onto the driveway.

 

Good luck. And bring your troubles here if you need to.

[obiandelismom]

Ok, but on to my point. While my ds is a talker, he's NOT a talker when his sister is gone. When he is just with me or with dh and me, he's super independent and quiet.

 

I was going to say this. My 5yo talks constantly when his brother is around, but slides into independent play (still talking, but to his legos instead of to me!) when he's alone. I still get a fair amount of "Mama, look!", but I can deal with that. Good luck!

[Michelle in MO]

pretty chatty girls, I can commisserate! The oldest is quieter now, but she's able to talk nonstop when the subject matter is something she wants to talk about!

 

A couple of thoughts: if possible, give him a reading time where he has to be quiet and read quietly to himself while you go nap or read or do whatever you can to regain your sense of peace and quiet.

 

Also, how about a tape or CD recorder? Ask him to read a book aloud into the machine; it may just keep him busy for a while and give him the opportunity to talk without you having to listen.

 

I've had some days where I thought my ears would fall off; just take this icon: :bigear: and modify it a little bit.

 

I know this may be small consolation, but someday when they move out and the house is very, very, VERY quiet, you'll miss these days. (OK, I'm talking to myself here!)

[Jami]

LOL, Jami I wish we lived next to each other. I know our dee-aiches would get along great too. Ooh, what a great idea! Move to NJ, your husband can work at my husband's ad agency, our boys can play, you and I can hang out. :D

 

Well living near you guys would be very cool, but, um NJ? Not so sure about that. :tongue_smilie:

 

In a few years, when the investors for the gaming company dh has helped startup decide to sell it to EA or some bigger fish...we'll have some freedom to go where interest leads. But I have to say the Northeast is really not on our wishlist of places. Though...with you and *anj* and so many other really neat personages up there...one could be a bit tempted!

[keptwoman]

Oh so nice to hear I'm not alone!

We call DD Yabber Yabber Jibber Jabber because she never stops, it's like a constant narration of everything that happens around her.

She likes audio books too. We are buying her either an MP3 player or a CD player for her birthday.