Chores and laziness

[Anonymous803]

I have two boys who just turned 5 and 6. My oldest has always enjoyed working (weird I know, but very helpful). He will help with just about anything you ask. Sweeping floors, vacuuming, cleaning....you get my point. My other child, however, is more typical. He hates doing anything you ask. He is pretty lazy. It doesn't help that I am not the most organized. I never really enforced pick up what you are playing with before you get something new philosphy.

 

Anyways, my main question is, what do you do when you say "go clean your room" (they share by the way) and one is willing to do it and the other isn't? I find my oldest always saying "mom...he won't help!" My oldest usually ends up doing a large portion of the cleaning. I have tried splitting the room in half. But then they fight about throwing stuff on each others' sides.

 

Anyone have any suggestions on how to get your child who hates to clean to clean? Or even how to deal with multiple children and their differences when it comes to chores? Thanks!

[SKL]

Maybe the "lazy" son needs a completely different kind of chore. If he consistently won't share a responsibility with his brother, don't consistently give them the same chore to do together. Send brother A in there to do ABC and then when he's done, brother B can do DEF. Or have brother B do some kitchen work instead. Schedule chores to be done before some activity he enjoys, which will motivate him to get it done and over with.

 

Observe for any kind of activity that B does enjoy / tolerate better, and assign chores along that line for him. He might not be "lazy" as much as disinterested in neatness.

[Tammyla]

Children at that age would benefit from a parent in there directing, teaching, modeling for them how to clean up the room. Kids are different and for some cleaning comes naturally, but for others it must be taught.

[Ellie]

I have two boys who just turned 5 and 6. My oldest has always enjoyed working (weird I know, but very helpful). He will help with just about anything you ask. Sweeping floors, vacuuming, cleaning....you get my point. My other child, however, is more typical. He hates doing anything you ask. He is pretty lazy. It doesn't help that I am not the most organized. I never really enforced pick up what you are playing with before you get something new philosphy.

 

Anyways, my main question is, what do you do when you say "go clean your room" (they share by the way) and one is willing to do it and the other isn't? I find my oldest always saying "mom...he won't help!" My oldest usually ends up doing a large portion of the cleaning. I have tried splitting the room in half. But then they fight about throwing stuff on each others' sides.

 

Anyone have any suggestions on how to get your child who hates to clean to clean? Or even how to deal with multiple children and their differences when it comes to chores? Thanks!

 

Although most of us have a tendancy to laziness, I wouldn't apply that label to such young children. :-)

 

With children so young, you have to be more personally involved in requiring them to do things like clean their bedrooms. You need to be sure that there is actually a place for everything, and that those places are clearly defined and easily accessible. Also, you need to keep a watch on how many things there are that need places. :-)

 

Sometimes it's easier to assign small jobs instead of one big one. For example, in the morning before breakfast, all of you go make your beds and put away jammies. Little kidlets might still need help in making the bed, so you cheerfully go in and help them make their beds, giving instructions as you do. Once or twice during the day you could have them spend, oh, 10 minutes doing a pick-up; set a timer so they know how long 10 minutes actually is, lol, and then go check on them. Once a week, have time for vacuuming or changing sheets or whatever, and be involved in that, because you'd be teaching and modeling and correcting and chatting and interacting.

 

IOW, don't send them to their rooms and tell them just to clean them. :)

[marbel]

IOW, don't send them to their rooms and tell them just to clean them. :)

 

:iagree: For some kids, this is way too vague. Don't compare your "lazy" child with the child who naturally (apparently) knows how to clean.

 

I spent a lot of time teaching my kids how to clean their rooms. They still need help sometimes. It can be overwhelming.

[TheReader]

First, I'd hesitate to label either a 5 or 6 yr old as lazy.

 

Second, I'd break the job down into smaller jobs. When my boys have shared a bedroom (at various times, over various ages, for a large number of years) I would never just blindly say to them both: "Go clean your room." I would instead tell one child "Go pick up all the hot wheels cars" and to the other "go pick up all the superheroes." Then when they were done with that, I'd move on to the next two groups of items (legos and potato heads, for example) and so forth & so on until the room was clean. This way, each boy has specific parts of the responsibility, and it breaks the job down into age appropriate, manageable chunks; a huge messy room can overwhelm a young child.

 

If that still doesn't work, I'd engage the child who is less eager to help by having him work alongside me. Maybe he can rinse the dishes as I wash them, or dry them before I put them away. Maybe he can sit with me and match socks & fold towels while I fold the other laundry, and then he can carry folded piles and go put them where they belong. Maybe he can hold the dustpan while I sweep, or wipe down the table/chairs before I sweep and then wipe down windows while I mop. Things like that.

 

And I'd definitely focus on getting my own act in order, becoming more organized and diligent about my own chores & responsibilities before (or while) training my young children; certainly before calling one of them lazy. If I've not enforced or built a habit of cleaning up after one's self, then it's really not fair for me to blame my child's lack of enthusiasm for chores on a character flaw of his rather than a lack of training on my part.

[dansamy]

Children that age aren't capable of taking a broad, general direction & breaking it into the multiple, smaller tasks required to accomplish the larger whole.

[Outinthegarden]

With children so young, you have to be more personally involved in requiring them to do things like clean their bedrooms. You need to be sure that there is actually a place for everything, and that those places are clearly defined and easily accessible. Also, you need to keep a watch on how many things there are that need places. :-)

 

 

IOW, don't send them to their rooms and tell them just to clean them. :)

 

:iagree: I have two boys that are older but I could have written your post! When they were younger I did what the other ladies are recommending - right down to putting labels on the drawers so that the reluctant one would know where his socks went! ;) I also separated them at first - gave ds1 who is the natural cleaner - his jobs and let him finish. Then I went in with ds2 who was not the natural cleaner and worked with him, showing him what I expected and training him on how to get it done. This wasn't a one and done thing.:D

 

Then we have a bedroom check in the am and then again in the pm - it helps with the "he made a mess in the room and won't clean it up!" syndrome.

[dirty ethel rackham]

At 5, I would not have expected any of my children to do chores without direct supervision. Also, many kids become overwhelmed at big tasks and need it broken down into small chunks. Cleaning the room is one of those tasks. Instead, say pick up all the Legos and put them in this bin. (We actually had a sheet to put down when they played legos so they only had to fold up the corners and dump into the bin.) I would be very careful labeling this child as "lazy." Instead, I would recognize that he is only 5 and needs someone to teach him HOW to do chores. I often have to help my 12 year old on bigger tasks because she gets overwhelmed.

[lexi]

I give my kiddos different chores. My oldest is usually super helpful and the middle two-not so much. I give the oldest her job and then I micromanage the middle 2. It's not fun for me but it has taught them to be more responsible. I also try to give more specific instructions rather than just clean your room or pick up your toys. My middle 2 need the step-by-step instruction right now. I start with things like put the legos in the drawer and then when that's done I move to the next item. Some kids are not just lazy they get overwhelmed and don't know where to start. I give my kids a clear starting point and watch them each step of the way. They have gotten better though! So there is hope! :001_smile:

[Anonymous803]

Thanks for the advice. Perhaps I should have used the term reluctant or disinterested in chores. (Just like me!) I know I definitely need to work on being more organized and shouldn't expect the kids to if I am not. I just feel like I am the only one cleaning and picking up while I am not necessarily making the mess. It feels like an endless cycle of cleaning up one room and then working on another, I go back to the first room to find it is totally destroyed by kids. I do not think they are too little to help around the house, especially if they are the ones creating the mess.

 

I do like the advice of breaking up the task and having each go into the room to pick up a certain item. This seems like a great idea so they are not fighting over who picked up what and who did not. I guess the thing I realized the most is that I need to be present to show how and to make sure it is getting done.

[dansamy]

Cleaning the house while the children are at home is like trying to brush your teeth while eating oreos.