Can I do this? :(

[jgoodal08]

Hi,

 

I realize I'm asking alot but have noone to ask. My husband is very doubtful about hs working for us because there is alot of chaos in our house. The 9yo and 8yo fight like cats and dogs, the 4yo twins adore the 8yo & constantly wants to do what he's doing which often ends up in tears because he doesn't know how to deal with them or play with them without making them cry. I have to constantly repeat myself to get the 3 boys to listen. So I obviously have an uphill battle with no support.

My husband's negativity makes me doubt putting in the curricula order because I don't know if my will & Gods grace alone can help me succeed. On top of all this, I had to beg my ex husband for months just to get a shot at homeschooling our son. He's agreed until December and then wants to reevaluate our son. He's the 8yo and the only one I'm homeschooling right now BUT the 4 yo twins will be here every morning until preschool at noon. Some days are ok with little drama but when we are all home and hanging out there's alot of fighting and crying.

My husband asked me last night "How are you going to be able to do this?" So I am doubting myself. I've worked very hard at tryingbto pick out curricula since my ex agreed last Friday to gve me a chance. And now that my husband is being negative I'm afraid to order the books. money is tight, the books are alot,and my faith is low. My son would be heartbroken if I told him I changed my mind. He too has been begging his Dad to give him a chance for months. He has low muscle tone and a hand tremor which makes writing very labor intensive & school depressed him last year. I'm sorry this is so long:(

was anyone else's husband not supportive and it turned out ok? was or is anyone else's house chaos? Can I do this?

[TammyS]

If you don't get the chaos under control, then you really can't.

 

However, I, personally, think that the goal of getting the chaos under control is a perfectly reasonable one. I often tell new to homeschooling people to not even try academics at first. Get the discipline under control first. You can't teach in chaos, students can't learn in chaos.

 

You have a month until Sept. Take a day away from the house ALONE and figure out what the root of the chaos in your house is. Then make a PROACTIVE plan to get in front of it. Then spend the next month implementing and refining your plan.

 

Your husband is right that you will not be able to homeschool effectively in chaos. But that your house is in chaos is not a foregone conclusion. You can change that. You don't have to achieve perfect order, but you do need something reasonable to work in.

 

Also, it sounds like you have boys. Whatever your plan is, it needs to include LOTS of physical activity. Tired boys are good boys. Getting rid of sugar and electronics (TERRIBLE for kids brain wiring) is also almost always a huge help.

 

Good luck! You can do this. You just need to put first things first. Chaos repair, then academics.

[bolt.]

It sounds like you, just like every other teacher, are going to need some 'classroom management resources and a strategy for achieving good order and discipline for your students... Because you want them to learn well. That's perfectly normal and to be expected, so it's good that you are seeing it now, before you try teaching and have trouble because you haven't prepared the kids to learn well.

 

Do you have any books on hand to guide you? I suggest 'parents in charge' (secular) or 'a new kid by Friday' (Christan) but that's just the top of my head. It's important to budget for these sorts of books too, not just curriculum. Your discipline strategy will strengthen any curriculum you choose.

[ktgrok]

Here is what I would do.

 

In the morning, while the twins are home, have breakfast together. Then give them some chores to do to help clean up. Then do a fun activity they all can do together, like an art project, or coloring, or what not. Maybe read out loud while they do playdoh or color. Then lunch.

 

then, when the twins are at preschool you can do the rest of the schooling with your 8 year old.

 

I don't see why that wouldn't work.

[fairfarmhand]

Here is what I would do.

 

In the morning, while the twins are home, have breakfast together. Then give them some chores to do to help clean up. Then do a fun activity they all can do together, like an art project, or coloring, or what not. Maybe read out loud while they do playdoh or color. Then lunch.

 

then, when the twins are at preschool you can do the rest of the schooling with your 8 year old.

 

I don't see why that wouldn't work.

:iagree:

 

Often chaos occurs because I am not engaging my children in productive activities. If they are right there helping with dishes and laundry, I can stay on top of the insanity.

[jgoodal08]

I've read "Have a New Kid By Friday" and that didn't work for me. someone suggested "10days to a less defiant child" and they gave me idea on how to help with my concern about my son saying "I dont want to do math now, ill do it later etc". I plan on getting that book.

there's likely numerous roots of the problem.

 

my son and daughter fight alot...theh are close in age and I don't know what to do when they fight. I fought with my brother alot too. I often say "stop" 100 times and it gets me nowhere.

 

when the 8 yo plays with 4yo twins he "wins"all the time at whateer they r playing...anything from legos to throwing stuffed animals around. I've tried to explain to him that part of beinga good big bro is to play fair & give them a fair chance. he usually will not play fair until I threaten a punishment.

 

those are the two most frequent issues in our house.

 

one of the twins has special needs (developmental delayand low muscle tone)

he didn't walk until he was two. I've spent most of the last 3yrs holding him and carrying him around because he couldn't do anything. I think that likely got in the way of a vital time

of teaching these kids how to get along with eachother.

[Catwoman]

I know it can be overwhelming at first, but you can do this. Your husband may be feeling negative because he's worried about you, and he sees that you're very stressed about this, and because you don't seem organized.

 

I have a secret for you -- many of us weren't organized at first our husbands thought we were nuts, and we were flying by the seat of our pants for the first year (or more!)

 

You've gotten great advice so far, so all I can add are :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: and encouragement. IMHO, your biggest issue has nothing to do with homeschooling; it's all about you letting your kids know who's boss (and right now, it sounds like it might be them and not you, which is not a good thing.)

 

You can definitely do this, and we'll try to give you the help and encouragement you need. You should also check out the K-8 forum here, for more specific advice on things like curriculum and scheduling. (You can ask here, too, but you might find a lot of helpful info there, as well.)

[laughing lioness]

You have a lot to deal with besides just homeschoolig: a step family, twins and an ex. It doesn't sound like your dh is being negative, but that he is trying to express his concern about how adding a huge responsiblity will work practically

 

I would sit down and brainstorm/problem solve with your dh about how to practically manage the needs/demands and behaviors of your home. The fact of the matter is that you do have an ex who is invested in the education of his child- you have a responsibility to him- what reassurances/outcomes do he need/want to see? I wouldn't ignore that or you'll add more stress to yourself.

 

If I'm reading correctly you said that when every one is "hanging out" that is when the bickering starts- which leads me to believe that the kids need more structure. In our home bickering = chores/ flashcards/ etc. In other words they have 2 choices= change their behavior so that it is acceptable or clean toilets. I respectfully disagree with Tammy to take time off from academics to work on discipline problems. I would use the academics to form the character and teach discipline. If the 8yo is invested in homeschooling, then get HIS buy-in to make it work.

 

What is your vision for homeschooling? What do you hope to accomplish?

What is your mission for homeschooling? What changes do you need to make happen NOW to effectively educate (socially, intellectually, emotionally, interpersonally, spiritually) your children?

What are your goals? Bite sized pieces to acheive your mission and vision.

 

Can you do this? It depends? You need buy-in to your vision (define what that is) from your self, spouse and kids. You need to make a plan and work the plan. With the various demands on your family, just hoping it will work might not be enough.

[jgoodal08]

thanks for the support and great ideas. you're right..if I get the twins involved in doing something they wont be running wild:) and I will 3 hours a day without the twin that has special needs and is,well..needy:) he's in a special ed Prem where he gets all his therapy.I desperately want to he him after Prek but need to show I can be successful

[fairfarmhand]

I've read "Have a New Kid By Friday" and that didn't work for me. someone suggested "10days to a less defiant child" and they gave me idea on how to help with my concern about my son saying "I dont want to do math now, ill do it later etc". I plan on getting that book.

there's likely numerous roots of the problem.

 

my son and daughter fight alot...theh are close in age and I don't know what to do when they fight. I fought with my brother alot too. I often say "stop" 100 times and it gets me nowhere.

 

stop telling them to stop. Step in an physically separate them EVERY SINGLE TIME. Say it one time and then put them in their rooms or on a chair in the corner if they continue. You;ve become like the yappy little dogs that bark bark bark but never bite. They've gotten used to tuning you out, so it is time to take action.

 

when the 8 yo plays with 4yo twins he "wins"all the time at whateer they r playing...anything from legos to throwing stuffed animals around. I've tried to explain to him that part of beinga good big bro is to play fair & give them a fair chance. he usually will not play fair until I threaten a punishment.

 

He probably won't understand this at age 8. I would supervise his play sessions with them. And redirect, remind and nag.

 

those are the two most frequent issues in our house.

 

one of the twins has special needs (developmental delayand low muscle tone)

he didn't walk until he was two. I've spent most of the last 3yrs holding him and carrying him around because he couldn't do anything. I think that likely got in the way of a vital time

of teaching these kids how to get along with eachother. yup you're probably right, but it is not too late to turn it around.

 

This sounds counterproductive, but it really works, and I used this when I had daycare kids at my house. Close off all of the house except the main living areas. Not only will this keep the house cleaner, it will also help you keep a CLOSE eye on everyone all of the time. You will be able to step into conflicts before they escalate. Move some toys and stuff into the living room/kitchen area and ban everyone from the bedrooms unless they are sleeping or changing clothes.

 

Here's what you need to do. For the next month, steel yourself for battle. Decide that you will step up to the plate and retrain, not only your kids, but yourself. You will stop nagging and start acting. Even when you are tired or frustrated, you must get up from your chair and provide consequences for bad behavior IMMEDIATELY.

 

Also, plan some fun activities involving you and your kids so you will all have some fun together.

 

Look into Get Off Your Butt parenting.

 

You can do this! It's just a matter of getting out of bad relational habits in the family. It takes a few weeks to establish new habits, but it is possible.

[sbgrace]

Does the twin with special needs have a diagnosis explaining the delays and tone? I ask because you mentioned another child with tone issues I think? My son, also low tone and delayed, got a late diagnosis (almost 4 years old) of a metabolic condition and the treatment has made a huge difference. I always wonder if there are other parents out there with children who could benefit from treatment if they had a diagnosis.

 

On the discipline...think action and not words. My twins fight too and often don't play well together. One is spectrumy and the other very, um, bossy and it doesn't mix well. We get a chance to "redo" when words or treatment isn't ok. Catch the good stuff and make a deal of that. Stay involved in the play as much as you can to direct and model. I send them to their rooms immediately for a break for anything that absolutely crosses the line (like attacking your brother or teasing someone so he will lose it and attack you ;)). If someone refuses the redo they need a break. This is action/consequences but in those situations they really do need a break from each other. Usually it's much better after. If said strong willed kiddo decides he doesn't need the break/won't go to his room the break is longer. Similarly, he can do math now or go to his room and sit until I'm ready again to work with him. Those specifics may not work for you but think action instead of words and warnings. I want to mention that I get it. We've been overwhelmed by life circumstances and special needs and things got entirely chaotic in discipline and just life here too. You can reign it in. It won't be perfect, no family is, but it can be better.

 

I do agree that busy kids are less likely to have discipline issues so homeschooling/structure may help with that.

 

It sounds like your 9 year old (I think that's the one) really needs this so I so hope you get the support you need. That can, and usually does, take some time.

 

edited to add that someone mentioned screen time. That does (negatively) affect things here too for both of mine though one more than the other.

:grouphug:

Edited August 2, 2012 by sbgrace

[TammyS]

I respectfully disagree with Tammy to take time off from academics to work on discipline problems.

 

I don't entirely disagree with you. It's just that it sounds so chaotic at her home (having to tell a kid anything 100 times without being heard?) that it seems that if she tries to jump right into homeschooling she's going to fail because when she says "sit down and do this lesson" no one is going to listen and obey. She still has August. I think a month just working on discipline before trying to get kids to do more stuff they may not want to do would be easier on all of them.

[ktgrok]

[quote name=Catwoman;4166564

I have a secret for you -- many of us weren't organized at first our husbands thought we were nuts' date=' and we were flying by the seat of our pants for the first year (or more!)

 

[/quote]

 

SOOOO true! My husband was terrified that me homeschooling my son meant he'd come home to one or the other of us dead. Or at each other's throats. Or me becoming an alcoholic, lol. Seriously though, he was really concerned. But now he would be the first to say it works really really well.

 

as for the big and littles fighting, keep them right by you. Give them speciific words to use to fix their problems. Speak for them. Get the book "Siblings without Rivalry". Praise praise praise praise praise any tiny bit of kind behavior. Make a HUGE deal over it. Call hubby at work and tell him how kind the 8 year old was to his little brother, in the 8 year old's earshot. Let him hear how proud you are of him acting kindly. Give him ways to help the 4 year old, specific ways.

[Ghee]

Here is what I would do.

 

In the morning, while the twins are home, have breakfast together. Then give them some chores to do to help clean up. Then do a fun activity they all can do together, like an art project, or coloring, or what not. Maybe read out loud while they do playdoh or color. Then lunch.

 

then, when the twins are at preschool you can do the rest of the schooling with your 8 year old.

 

I don't see why that wouldn't work.

 

:iagree: When I read that the twins left at noon, that was my first thought! Do the "fun" stuff early in the day, make it really hands on, then do your 3 R's type stuff while they are at preschool.

 

ETA: Definitely take a month, or however long, to work on discipline. Maybe use mornings as time to encourage the kids to work together or practice listening activities for now. Home schooling has been such a different dynamic for our family, it does take some time to get used to it. Your husband needs to understand that this is a learning experience for everyone, he isn't going to see a change in 24 hours.

Edited August 2, 2012 by Ghee

[Catwoman]

SOOOO true! My husband was terrified that me homeschooling my son meant he'd come home to one or the other of us dead. Or at each other's throats. Or me becoming an alcoholic, lol. Seriously though, he was really concerned. But now he would be the first to say it works really really well.

 

I don't drink now, but I take great comfort in knowing that I can start any time I want to. :tongue_smilie:

[laughing lioness]

I don't entirely disagree with you. It's just that it sounds so chaotic at her home (having to tell a kid anything 100 times without being heard?) that it seems that if she tries to jump right into homeschooling she's going to fail because when she says "sit down and do this lesson" no one is going to listen and obey. She still has August. I think a month just working on discipline before trying to get kids to do more stuff they may not want to do would be easier on all of them.

 

:iagree:

 

I don't drink now, but I take great comfort in knowing that I can start any time I want to. :tongue_smilie:

 

I purchased my first 6 pack of Mike's (the official drink of the Hive) this summer. With crushed ice, it's just the thing.

[....]

Hi, would you like some book recs? These books have had more impact on our household than any others.

 

So, the first book: Simplicity Parenting. This book talks about establishing routines/traditions with your kids and keeping things simple. Since reading this book, we've also downsized our "stuff" considerably. It talks about making a "toy library", organizing their rooms, etc. This book really changed our household.

 

Another book: Educating the Wholehearted Child. I've read this book twice since I bought it. For lack of a better word, it's a "soothing" read. YKWIM? Also one of my favorite books (be aware it's religious-themed, though).

 

Kadzin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child. This book was written by a Child Psychiatrist at Yale. It really made me aware of negativity that was bombarding my 7 yro. It's a long story, but my 7 yro was out of control last fall. We made some huge changes and included the suggestions in this book (we also put her on the autism diet). It's really made a big difference. The copy of the book that I bought came with a DVD, too. Oh, the book has a section on what to do with siblings fighting.

Edited August 2, 2012 by starrbuck12

[Catwoman]

I don't entirely disagree with you. It's just that it sounds so chaotic at her home (having to tell a kid anything 100 times without being heard?) that it seems that if she tries to jump right into homeschooling she's going to fail because when she says "sit down and do this lesson" no one is going to listen and obey. She still has August. I think a month just working on discipline before trying to get kids to do more stuff they may not want to do would be easier on all of them.

 

:iagree:

 

You can't homeschool kids who refuse to pay attention to you -- and it's a very bad situation for maintaining Mom's sanity, as well. It's bad enough when kids are disrespectful and don't listen to what Mom tells them to do in everyday life, but it's even worse when Mom is in a panic because the kids aren't doing their schoolwork and she's thinking about how they're going to become failures in life because she tried to homeschool them and couldn't get them to do their work... so she yells at them some more, and they don't listen, and she feels like more of a failure... :(

 

I think the most important thing here is to establish the pecking order, and the kids need to know that Mom is in charge, and that there are consequences for disobeying and being disrespectful. I'm not talking about horrible punishments, but clearly "just saying no" isn't working.

[....]

Praise praise praise praise praise any tiny bit of kind behavior. Make a HUGE deal over it.

 

:iagree: This is one of the things we did to turn around our 7 yro's behavior.

[Denise in Florida]

It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Can you start by homeschooling one or two of the kids? As you get things under control and have a comfortable routine, add the others?

 

Is there a mom's day out for the 4yr olds? When my older dd was doing 3rd grade my younger dd was 5 and into everything. I took her to a morning only, four day a week program at our church. By the next year they were both ready to homeschool and we did first and fourth grade.

[Mom2OandE]

Can you do structured activities in the morning when the twins are home as a family? Get outside with a nature study, do art and music and let them be involved, fun science projects that they can do experiements too. Then when they are in preschool work on the core subjects that need to be more to your 8 year olds level.

 

I'm new to homeschooling but reading your post reminded me of when my kids were little and my son had a lot of therapy. He would be working wtih his therapist and my dd and niece/nephew would also be running around. The only thing that made it work was for me to do "therapy" with them. I had to be very structured but the peace was worth it.

[jgoodal08]

Wow I'm so grateful for all the awesome advice!!!

Love the book ideas... Will definitely invest in them.

I do want to get this somewhat under control before sept.

Someone mentioned just homeschooling one kid for now,

That is all I'm doing. My 9 year old daughter will

Stay in public school and both twins are in preschool.

I agree I need to be present in their playing so I can nip the fights

In the bud as soon as it starts instead of when theyre screaming at

Eachother. My house is a disaster and it bothers

Me so when they are playing I'm usually trying to do laundry,

Cook or clean. I should probably let the mess be for now or deal with that when my husband is here to be involved with kids. I am going

To have a discussion with my husband tonight and implement a plan.

Someone mentioned my ex caring about his sons education. I do respect my ex and his love for our 2 kids and understand he wants to see that HS will be good for him. However giving me from sept- dec to show him positive results seems unreasonable. Thanks to everyone

[fairfarmhand]

Wow I'm so grateful for all the awesome advice!!!

Love the book ideas... Will definitely invest in them.

I do want to get this somewhat under control before sept.

Someone mentioned just homeschooling one kid for now,

That is all I'm doing. My 9 year old daughter will

Stay in public school and both twins are in preschool.

I agree I need to be present in their playing so I can nip the fights

In the bud as soon as it starts instead of when theyre screaming at

Eachother. My house is a disaster and it bothers

Me so when they are playing I'm usually trying to do laundry,

Cook or clean. I should probably let the mess be for now or deal with that when my husband is here to be involved with kids. I am going

To have a discussion with my husband tonight and implement a plan.

Someone mentioned my ex caring about his sons education. I do respect my ex and his love for our 2 kids and understand he wants to see that HS will be good for him. However giving me from sept- dec to show him positive results seems unreasonable. Thanks to everyone

 

 

Don't work alone. Even 4 yo's can help with chores. That means mom will have more time and energy for the fun stuff! Let your littles fold washcloths and match socks. My 4 yo can put away the silverware, and likes to play in the soapy water while I wash. Yes it is messy and less than perfect, but they will be busy and NOT FIGHTING!

[AngelBee]

:grouphug: Praying for you. You can do this. It takes planning out the work and working the plan.

[TammyS]

My house is a disaster and it bothers

Me so when they are playing I'm usually trying to do laundry,

Cook or clean.

 

Ok, totally unsolicited advice, so feel free to ignore. But, IMO, no way on earth are those kids to be playing while you are doing housework. You deserve time to play, too!!

 

They all need to be working while you are working. Then they can play while you play. See? Equity (not really, because they'll never do as much as you do, but closer).

 

Also, kids who are tired from doing chores are more likely to sit still long enough to learn and more likely to play nicely together (because if they don't, you can always have them clean out the fridge!!).

[speedmom4]

:grouphug:

 

You are in a tough position right now. I can feel your weariness through your post. My best piece of advice is to get the book Managers of Their Homes http://www.titus2.com/managers-of-their-homes.html. It is a wonderful resource for getting your home, children, and homeschool under control. I would buy it ASAP and hold out on buying curriculum until you read it and begin to see some success.

 

I find that children fight when they are bored and don't have a schedule. Setting up a schedule that the children can anticipate and keeping them busy will improve things dramatically, IMHO.

 

Hope things begin to improve soon!

 

God Bless,

Elise in NC

[Liz CA]

Exactly this!

It can be done. Don't start off with a defeated attitude because the obstacles seem insurmountable. Make a fresh start and change a few things.

[jgoodal08]

so many great book suggestions..I don't know where to start:)

[fairfarmhand]

so many great book suggestions..I don't know where to start:)

You can do it! Just find a book and dive right in! Change one or two things at a time, starting RIGHT NOW!

 

And one other thing, don't wait for them to start acting bored before you engage them. You probably know how long they can play without getting antsy. Just pay attention to those cues that they're starting to get bored and finds some chores or fun stuff to do with them.

 

When you get things under control you will find that you LOVE being around your children. You will no longer be the Yelling Mom, but you will be the Fun Mom.

[FO4UR]

You've gotten a lot of great advice already.

 

 

:iagree: 100% with doing the main school work with the 8yo while the 4yo's are at preschool. An 8yo needs 2-3 hours.

 

 

I also :iagree: with keeping the kids occupied in the mornings. Do NOT leave them to themselves while you work. Take at least 1 of the 4yo's around with you while you are working at all times...switch 4yo's.

 

 

Make a "Wowza! Gotta Get Back Under Control!!!" Plan. Assign each child a quiet place they can go and do a quiet activity alone. (Coloring, lego, drawing, reading, etc...maybe keep a basket there just for that child.) When chaos overtakes the home, send one child at a time to their quiet spot (not a punishment per se, but a rest). Then you can think through what just happened and address the *character* issues with each individual child...and consequences can then follow as needed. (I've been doing this with one of mine, in particular, and it's been a life-saver. hth.)

 

 

Daddy can back you up when he gets home. He can ask each child how their day went and keep some accountability that way. (Though YOU should handle the discipline as it happens.) Express to him that you need, not only his concern, but some action on his part to make this work for the whole family. Evenings may need some more structure as well. Can he read to the 4yo's while you do homework with the 9yo...things like that.

 

 

Lastly, define "progress" for the 8yo in very specific terms. (He can copy ___ words in 15 minutes in September, and ____ words in December.). Journal, journal, journal your days. Take pictures. Keep written work in binders. Make a portfolio of all his work for your ex in December. (This will be encouraging for you as much as it's reassuring for him.)

[Parrothead]

This sounds counterproductive, but it really works, and I used this when I had daycare kids at my house. Close off all of the house except the main living areas. Not only will this keep the house cleaner, it will also help you keep a CLOSE eye on everyone all of the time. You will be able to step into conflicts before they escalate. Move some toys and stuff into the living room/kitchen area and ban everyone from the bedrooms unless they are sleeping or changing clothes.

 

Here's what you need to do. For the next month, steel yourself for battle. Decide that you will step up to the plate and retrain, not only your kids, but yourself. You will stop nagging and start acting. Even when you are tired or frustrated, you must get up from your chair and provide consequences for bad behavior IMMEDIATELY.

 

Also, plan some fun activities involving you and your kids so you will all have some fun together.

 

Look into Get Off Your Butt parenting.

 

You can do this! It's just a matter of getting out of bad relational habits in the family. It takes a few weeks to establish new habits, but it is possible.

:iagree: Totally and wholeheartedly. You must establish the pecking order and you must be one of the top two. (You dh is the other.)

 

Another book recommendation is Raising Godly Tomatoes. I don't get into the religious aspect but the premise of tomato staking kids right beside you is a good one for those kids that need the supervision.

 

I think there is a website of the same name that has good info.

 

Hi, would you like some book recs? These books have had more impact on our household than any others.

 

So, the first book: Simplicity Parenting. This book talks about establishing routines/traditions with your kids and keeping things simple. Since reading this book, we've also downsized our "stuff" considerably. It talks about making a "toy library", organizing their rooms, etc. This book really changed our household.

 

Another book: Educating the Wholehearted Child. I've read this book twice since I bought it. For lack of a better word, it's a "soothing" read. YKWIM? Also one of my favorite books (be aware it's religious-themed, though).

 

Kadzin Method for Parenting the Defiant Child. This book was written by a Child Psychiatrist at Yale. It really made me aware of negativity that was bombarding my 7 yro. It's a long story, but my 7 yro was out of control last fall. We made some huge changes and included the suggestions in this book (we also put her on the autism diet). It's really made a big difference. The copy of the book that I bought came with a DVD, too. Oh, the book has a section on what to do with siblings fighting.

A schedule and routine is both necessary and comforting to the children. Breaks in the routine make for great adventures.

 

Can you do structured activities in the morning when the twins are home as a family? Get outside with a nature study, do art and music and let them be involved, fun science projects that they can do experiements too. Then when they are in preschool work on the core subjects that need to be more to your 8 year olds level.

 

 

:iagree: Do this. Start out just like this. Everyone should be having supervised structured activities in the morning after breakfast is cleaned up.

Wow I'm so grateful for all the awesome advice!!!

Love the book ideas... Will definitely invest in them.

I do want to get this somewhat under control before sept.

Someone mentioned just homeschooling one kid for now,

That is all I'm doing. My 9 year old daughter will

Stay in public school and both twins are in preschool.

I agree I need to be present in their playing so I can nip the fights

In the bud as soon as it starts instead of when theyre screaming at

Eachother. My house is a disaster and it bothers

Me so when they are playing I'm usually trying to do laundry,

Cook or clean. I should probably let the mess be for now or deal with that when my husband is here to be involved with kids. I am going

To have a discussion with my husband tonight and implement a plan.

Someone mentioned my ex caring about his sons education. I do respect my ex and his love for our 2 kids and understand he wants to see that HS will be good for him. However giving me from sept- dec to show him positive results seems unreasonable. Thanks to everyone

Take the weekend with your dh home to clean and declutter and get a handle on the laundry. Everyone in the family should be involved in the cleaning and maintaining of the family home. Consider hiring help to get things cleaned up and ready for the school year. Consider implementing an evening routine that includes a family clean up time - dishes done, floors swept, toys put away, etc. so that you wake up to a tidy house.

Ok, totally unsolicited advice, so feel free to ignore. But, IMO, no way on earth are those kids to be playing while you are doing housework. You deserve time to play, too!!

 

They all need to be working while you are working. Then they can play while you play. See? Equity (not really, because they'll never do as much as you do, but closer).

 

Also, kids who are tired from doing chores are more likely to sit still long enough to learn and more likely to play nicely together (because if they don't, you can always have them clean out the fridge!!).

:iagree:Especially the bolded.

Edited August 2, 2012 by Parrothead

[AngelBee]

 

 

Take the weekend with your dh hoe to clean and declutter and get a handle on the laundry. Everyone in the family should be involved in the cleaning and maintaining of the family home. Consider hiring help to get things cleaned up and ready for the school year. Consider implementing an evening routine that includes a family clean up time - dishes done, floors swept, toys put away, etc. so that you wake up to a tidy house.

 

 

:lol:

[Parrothead]

:lol:

I fixed it.