Hope in God Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) Thank-you for your input. :-) Edited June 13, 2012 by Hope in God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) My hubby knows some polyamorous people and the only thing that concerns me, from what I've heard, is divorce. It doesn't seem that there is much support for breaking and broken families involving children, but then there isn't much support for the rest of us in those situations either, so perhaps the situations aren't so different as to require specific worrying. I don't suppose I think it is very nice if the child is going to grow up feeling that they are less important to the parent than the parents' other dates. Or if one's primary spouse is out dating while you are at home, desperate for help and developing post natal depression or something. A primary spouse ought to be a higher priority than other dates. If we were talking a plural marriage situation, with one bloke and a couple of women or one woman and a couple of men living together, I wouldn't think a whole lot about it unless it was some kind of creepy sect where old men marry young girls, women have no choice in who they marry or something like that. I'm not going to assume their dynamic is automatically more dysfunctional than the average person's family situation. If everyone is happy, healthy and dedicated, the kids are probably better off than many around. But, as I said, I don't know anyone in these situation closer than second hand. This is just my hypothetical opinion about hypothetical people. Rosie Edited June 12, 2012 by Rosie_0801 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 There are polygamous relationships where there is mutual consent and respect on all sides and where the whole family takes care of each other. Children are loved, respected and well-cared for. And then there are cult settings that have polygamous relationships where the patriarg is in a completely dominant situation and where young boys get kicked out of the community and young girls get married young. Just 'knowing' of such a family I would not get involved. If there was abuse to be reported, one obviously would report it. But I would hope to say the same for any situation where a child might be in danger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsnapper Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I wouldn't think a whole lot about it unless it was some kind of creepy sect I agree. If you think the situation could be harmful to the children in terms of sexually, physically, etc. then it's a safety issue. If you just think it's weird, there's nothing legally to be done, and sticking your nose in it can come across as critical rather than helpful and cause hurt instead of improvement ;). You need to decide if something really is WRONG or if it's just your "preference". It may be that "loving your neighbor" will allow you to have more impact on their lives than by intervening... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaNZ Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Just because a family is polygamous does not automatically put the children at risk. I have known several polygamous families and the children are happy, well-adjusted and well-cared for. I agree there are situations when children are at risk, but it has very little to do with the 'polygamous' side of things. In both polygamous and non-polygamous families children can be in danger of abuse; it would be the signs of that abuse you would need to look for, not just jump to conclusions because the family in question does not fulfill your own standard of 'normal'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momof3littles Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 There are polygamous relationships where there is mutual consent and respect on all sides and where the whole family takes care of each other. Children are loved, respected and well-cared for. And then there are cult settings that have polygamous relationships where the patriarg is in a completely dominant situation and where young boys get kicked out of the community and young girls get married young. Just 'knowing' of such a family I would not get involved. If there was abuse to be reported, one obviously would report it. But I would hope to say the same for any situation where a child might be in danger. :iagree: I think a consensual adult relationship is different from a setting where young women are being pressured or forced to marry, for example. I wouldn't necessarily be interested in "outing" a consensual adult situation unless I suspected abuse or neglect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 :iagree: I think a consensual adult relationship is different from a setting where young women are being pressured or forced to marry, for example. I wouldn't necessarily be interested in "outing" a consensual adult situation unless I suspected abuse or neglect. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope in God Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) . Edited June 13, 2012 by Hope in God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsnapper Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 I think it goes back to, are they doing anything illegal? Whether or not you agree morally with the situation, even though it goes against the social customs of our country, it fits with other cultures. So even though it's not what we as Americans like to see, it doesn't mean it's a dangerous situation. If there is nothing against the law in that household, there is nothing you can do other than basically harrass them, cause hurt, make them feel looked down upon, stir up resentment between neighbors, and probably make things worse. If you are a praying person, I'd say pray first and foremost. Then be a good neighbor. Always keep a watchful eye out for any problems at their house. But don't be a critical, judgemental person so that you always have a place to speak into their lives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 How would I react meaning what? If you are talking about turning them in to someone legally, I doubt it would make any difference as he probably isn't "married" legally to all of them. If you are talking about how would you let your children interact with them? That is a different story. If you are talking about being friends with them yourself, that is entirely up to you. I personally would have a very difficult time befriending someone with that sort of lifestyle, but I have my own beliefs that contradict that way of life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 How would I react meaning what? If you are talking about turning them in to someone legally, I doubt it would make any difference as he probably isn't "married" legally to all of them. If you are talking about how would you let your children interact with them? That is a different story. If you are talking about being friends with them yourself, that is entirely up to you. I personally would have a very difficult time befriending someone with that sort of lifestyle, but I have my own beliefs that contradict that way of life. :iagree: There are a number of moral situations that I would find disturbing---and I would probably avoid being close friends with such people...but so little of that is illegal that I doubt I would 'do' anything....other than avoid them. If a child has been taken across state lines and you worry for that child's safety.....I am not sure what you can do about it.....report it--for all the good that will do. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Transporting underage girls across state lines for the purposes of s*x is already illegal. It's human trafficking. If this involves underage girls, yes, I'd report it. If it involves adults I'd MMOB. :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted June 12, 2012 Share Posted June 12, 2012 Would you be more concerned if the father was quite old and the moms were younger? What if one of the ladies moved across a border to become part of this family (marry into the family)? Do you think this would cause you to be concerned for the little girl's futures (ie being groomed to be sent away and become one of many wives to an old man? Do the girls have a chioce? There are so many different kinds of polygamous situations that it's impossible to answer your last question. If you, knowing the family and seeing them, think that young girls are in danger of being forced into marriage, then you should report that. If they're of age, then I'm not sure what the law says. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope in God Posted June 12, 2012 Author Share Posted June 12, 2012 (edited) . Edited June 13, 2012 by Hope in God Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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