What do you think about this situation?

[Baseballmom]

My friend works at Party City. Yesterday, a customer came in with two small children around 6 and younger. The kids were playing with some flags and throwing them on the floor etc. The cashier who happened to be a 60+ year old man in a very quite manner told the kids how the flag should be respected and that a long time ago, if it were to touch the ground or floor it would have been burned. The mom told the man to shut up and quit talking to her kids. He said he was sorry and that he was just telling them how important the flag was to him. She began yelling and telling him to "Shut Up" over and over. He turned red and just stood there shocked. I can understand a mom being embarrased by this situation and getting annoyed, but I am appalled that someone would treat an elder in this manner. What do you think? Should he have kept his opinion to himself or was the mom over reacting.

Dorothy

[WTMindy]

My friend works at Party City. Yesterday, a customer came in with two small children around 6 and younger. The kids were playing with some flags and throwing them on the floor etc. The cashier who happened to be a 60+ year old man in a very quite manner told the kids how the flag should be respected and that a long time ago, if it were to touch the ground or floor it would have been burned. The mom told the man to shut up and quit talking to her kids. He said he was sorry and that he was just telling them how important the flag was to him. She began yelling and telling him to "Shut Up" over and over. He turned red and just stood there shocked. I can understand a mom being embarrased by this situation and getting annoyed, but I am appalled that someone would treat an elder in this manner. What do you think? Should he have kept his opinion to himself or was the mom over reacting.

Dorothy

 

That is so sad, on so many levels!! That mom just displayed disrespect in so many ways. It makes me sad to think of the lessons that those children learned from that one incident. Yelling at someone is OK when you disagree. Treating the elderly with anything less than respect is OK. Treating a flag with less than respect is OK. When my kids were little we talked about how people treat flags and how they weren't supposed to touch the ground. Of course, when they were that age, the little flags were always touching the ground, but I do think it is an important to talk about the symbol of the flag and what it represents. That poor man!

[stephanie]

My friend works at Party City. Yesterday, a customer came in with two small children around 6 and younger. The kids were playing with some flags and throwing them on the floor etc. The cashier who happened to be a 60+ year old man in a very quite manner told the kids how the flag should be respected and that a long time ago, if it were to touch the ground or floor it would have been burned. The mom told the man to shut up and quit talking to her kids. He said he was sorry and that he was just telling them how important the flag was to him. She began yelling and telling him to "Shut Up" over and over. He turned red and just stood there shocked. I can understand a mom being embarrased by this situation and getting annoyed, but I am appalled that someone would treat an elder in this manner. What do you think? Should he have kept his opinion to himself or was the mom over reacting.

Dorothy

 

Sounds like mom was having a bad day! She definitely overreacted. I would have to absolutely agree with the man,and I would have backed him up directly in front of my dc. Then I would have had my dc apologize for making a mess. It's not just about the flag either...they shouldn't be throwing stuff all around the store. I totally understand that- I have 4 dc that always have their hands on something in the store, or their knocking stuff down, but those are valuable lessons in obedience and respect. People have tried to discipline my dc in the stores before,and I step in and say, "Thankyou." Even if their wrong in their discipline (which they usually aren't) I want my kids to learn respect for others opinions even if they don't agree with them. However, I will not allow someone to be blatantly rude to my dc. I'd prefer people to not try to discipline my dc, but I know some people are just like that. Even if their wrong, I still maintain respect for that person, and then talk to my dc about how they did nothing wrong, and that there are just people like that that they will have to learn how to handle in life. I mean, what's the alternative? Telling an old man (and sounds like someone who served in the military) to shut up? Nope!

[Kathleen in VA]

Well, it is very sad and very upsetting to think this could happen, but it doesn't surprise me that a woman who has no problem letting her kids ransack a store and throw the flag on the floor would show disrespect to her elders. I could write a book, but I won't.

[Joanne]

I can understand a mom being embarrased by this situation and getting annoyed, but I am appalled that someone would treat an elder in this manner. What do you think? Should he have kept his opinion to himself or was the mom over reacting.

 

I don't know that "elder" has anything to do with it. The mom was rude (for whatever reason - weariness, embarassed, angry..) and was disrespectful to him as a person; regardless of age.

 

That said, I have been in situations where strangers or employees have stepped into roles that were inappropriate with my kids and, while I've never yelled at anyone to shut up, I have been firm and stern with them.

 

He was right about what he was communicating. He was right that if they kids can't look at the flags without disrespecting flag rules, they need to stop. He was probably even trying to communicate as a patriot and store employee in a kind manner. But parents don't like to have their kids parented by unsolicited outsiders.

[nukeswife]

That mom was SOOO out of line! I don't care if you disagree with him or not but you don't yell at an elderly man to shut up. There are many other ways to deal with the situation. It doesn't sound to me like he was trying to discipline her children but obviously someone should have and it wasn't her so someone needed to step in. Maybe that's how she was seeing it, but that still doesn't excuse the behavior. Also I think as a store employee he had the right to tell them to stop throwing the merchandise around no matter if it was a flag or not.

 

Just my 2 cents

[PiCO]

I hope the gentleman got some support from management. If a customer treats my employees like that (and won't make amends), the customer is asked to leave my place of business.

[OhM]

That is so sad, on so many levels!! That mom just displayed disrespect in so many ways. It makes me sad to think of the lessons that those children learned from that one incident. Yelling at someone is OK when you disagree. Treating the elderly with anything less than respect is OK. Treating a flag with less than respect is OK. When my kids were little we talked about how people treat flags and how they weren't supposed to touch the ground. Of course, when they were that age, the little flags were always touching the ground, but I do think it is an important to talk about the symbol of the flag and what it represents. That poor man!

 

:iagree: Can't think of anything to add. Can't even think of a snarky comment that could have been made to the lady - this is so far beyond funny. Makes me sad for the gentleman, and sad for the kids - sounds like they missed a great learning opportunity. (sigh.)

[DB in NJ]

What the heck is wrong with that woman?!?! This is so wrong on so many levels....lack of respect for her elders; lack of respect for the flag; lack of respect for other people's property....oh I could go on and on and on.

 

I hope somebody stuck up for that man! I would've, had I been there. I simply cannot seem to bite my tongue in situations such as these ;)

[Kathleen in VA]

I don't know that "elder" has anything to do with it. The mom was rude (for whatever reason - weariness, embarassed, angry..) and was disrespectful to him as a person; regardless of age.

 

That said, I have been in situations where strangers or employees have stepped into roles that were inappropriate with my kids and, while I've never yelled at anyone to shut up, I have been firm and stern with them.

 

He was right about what he was communicating. He was right that if they kids can't look at the flags without disrespecting flag rules, they need to stop. He was probably even trying to communicate as a patriot and store employee in a kind manner. But parents don't like to have their kids parented by unsolicited outsiders.

 

Good point about the "elder" - I think you are right. Everyone deserves respect no matter how old they are. I don't think he was out of iine though. They were damaging store property - he had every right to step in.

[VaKim]

What the heck is wrong with that woman?!?! This is so wrong on so many levels....lack of respect for her elders; lack of respect for the flag; lack of respect for other people's property....oh I could go on and on and on.

 

I hope somebody stuck up for that man! I would've, had I been there. I simply cannot seem to bite my tongue in situations such as these ;)

 

And this lack of respect and just pure selfishness is being passed from one generation to the next just like this! It is sickening, or terrifying, to think that these children (and many just like them) will be the ones "running" this world some day!

[tibbyl]

ALL the store's merchandise should be respected. Sounds like the mother needs to leave kiddos at home with adequate supervision when she goes shopping.

[elegantlion]

Sounds like the apples don't fall too far from the tree. :glare: That is all.

[Kathleen in VA]

Sounds like the apples don't fall too far from the tree. :glare: That is all.

 

:lol::lol: Yup!

[Gretchen in NJ]

That is so sad, on so many levels!! That mom just displayed disrespect in so many ways. It makes me sad to think of the lessons that those children learned from that one incident. Yelling at someone is OK when you disagree. Treating the elderly with anything less than respect is OK. Treating a flag with less than respect is OK. When my kids were little we talked about how people treat flags and how they weren't supposed to touch the ground. Of course, when they were that age, the little flags were always touching the ground, but I do think it is an important to talk about the symbol of the flag and what it represents. That poor man!

:iagree: with what WTMindy said. I feel so bad for the man. I wonder if he is a vet. The mom was very disrespectful. I guess that is where the children are learning it and one of the many reasons why we homeschool.

[Gretchen in NJ]

Sounds like the apples don't fall too far from the tree. :glare: That is all.

:rofl::iagree:

[Michelle T]

she'll wonder what happened to make them such "bad kids".

 

Even having a bad day is no excuse. I feel so sorry for the cashier.

Michelle T

[Tracey in TX]

Age has nothing to do with this. (My FIL is a mean old man and if someone yelled at him to shut up, it might have been warranted.) However, children must be taught to respect the flag and all it represents. The man taught the children what the woman was not able. She was unjustified in screaming, but if she believes her kids shouldn't be talked to by a stranger she has the right to verbalize that. IMO she was way out of line. We don't know what her background is--maybe there was an incident in which a stranger did something unseemly and she snapped at Party City toward your friend. We'll never know.

Hopefully the man will continue to promote proper respect toward the American flag, and had a good day despite the scene.

[Susan in TX]

I think that customer should have been told to leave the store or escorted out if necessary. Being a customer doesn't give you the right to let your children throw merchandise on the floor and then yell at the employees for asking them to stop.

 

Susan in TX

[percytruffle]

Ladies, today I am thankful I am not a public school teacher with that kid in my class and that mother to contend with. My school day would be about 90% discipline and 10% learning. And, this is not atypical. Need I say more?

 

That poor man. It just makes me want to go pin a medal on him or something. He probably already has one at home in a drawer...

[Baseballmom]

While I do agree that age has nothing to do with respecting another person, since all should be treated with respect. I do wonder if my reaction would have been the same if it were a 20 year old man doing the same thing. I would still require my children to be respectful, but is there a little bit of a difference? Also, even if it is a mean old man does that give someone the right to act the same way he does? Should we only respect those who are nice and gentle? Just wondering?

 

Dorothy

[Greta]

If a customer treats my employees like that (and won't make amends), the customer is asked to leave my place of business.

 

When I worked in retail, I encountered what felt like more than my fair share of customers who thought that "the customer is always right" means "the customer has the right to bully and belittle the employees". It's nice to hear from an employer who doesn't put up with that @#*!.

 

And with regards to the OP, I'm not a particularly patriotic person and I must admit that I don't have great reverence for the flag. I also know that my hackles go up when I get unwanted parenting advice. All that said, I think the gentleman was 100% justified in what he said and did (for one thing it was about store property and for another not having great reverence for the flag and showing outright disrespect are two different things), and that the mother reacted in a completely and wholly inappropriate way. I feel sorry for the employee . . . and the kids.

 

Also, there may be nothing logical about it, and I do feel that people of all ages, including infants, deserve basic human respect. But I was raised to believe that our elders deserve a special degree of consideration, and that feeling runs deep. I have to admit it's an emotional reaction and not a reasonable one, but it would hurt me more to see an elder treated this way than a young man. Don't know why. Can't justify it. But there it is.

[LizzyBee]

I think that customer should have been told to leave the store or escorted out if necessary. Being a customer doesn't give you the right to let your children throw merchandise on the floor and then yell at the employees for asking them to stop.

 

Susan in TX

 

:iagree: