Halcyon Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Sigh. My mother is a very competitive person--likes her kids (and her grandkids, it seems) to "win", be "better" than others....heck, I'm competitive too, if it means that I want my kids to always do their best, and that I expect a lot from them. Anyway, my son called my mother to tell her about the results of his National Mythology Exam. He was really proud of himself and after he told her, he passed the phone to me. (backstory: we're moving to a new school district in 3 weeks) "So, this place you're moving to, is the local school good?" Me: "Yeah, it's considered pretty good." (we are zoned for a crap*y school right now) My mom: "Huh. Just wondering if you'd ever consider sending them there..they would do so well, and would be able to compete with other kids." :confused::confused: I don't really get this. I mean, doing well on a NATIONAL exam isn't competition enough? And why do I want my kids competing with other kids anyway? So they can feel "smarter" (or dumber, as the case may be!) What's the point of that, and how is it related to learning? She knows that the FCAT is basically the focus of kids' school lives down here, and that they spend a huge amount of time prepping for it, and that I really don't agree with that. She also knows that my kids are learning wonderful, amazing things in homeschool, things they wouldn't learn in school (well, she would if she asked them, or asked to see their lapbooks or projects or ANYTHING grr) Wouldn't this news (of the NME) be an opportunity to say "Wow! They're learning so much! And good on you, daughter, for doing a good job!" :( I know I'm asking too much, and that I should be grateful this is one of the few times she's commented about our homeschooling. Really, it's more a commentary on how competitive she is--she sees local kids winning their "science fairs" or their "spelling bees" and she feels certain my kids would do well...so what? And we have our own homeschool events, but I guess she doesn't consider them "the real deal". Okay vent over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen500 Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I don't know if this is the case where you live, but here there are hs spelling bees and science fairs. If your kids like competing, there's lots of opportunity. And great job on the NME! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 My best guess is that she wants to brag to her friends and other family members about how well your kids are doing in school, and she doesn't consider homeschool to be "real school." I agree that this is all about competition... just that the competition is between your mom and her friends for Bragging Rights, and your mom wants more ammo. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 (edited) My best guess is that she wants to brag to her friends and other family members about how well your kids are doing in school, and she doesn't consider homeschool to be "real school." I agree that this is all about competition... just that the competition is between your mom and her friends for Bragging Rights, and your mom wants more ammo. :D :iagree: I have heard the same argument from grandmothers, basicly accusing me of robbing the kids' grandma of the opportunity to brag about their grades and test scores and accomplishments and class rankings and blahblahblah. It really has nothing to do with the kids or me or education. They will even admit that my kids are being well educated and that we have no need for any of that stuff. "Well, of course you know they are doing well. You see them all day." But how is society going to judge them (society referring to the biddies at the deli counter, from what I can see) without some grades or numbers of some kind? Bless their hearts.:tongue_smilie: This only comes up once they discover that my kids are bright. If they were on the slow side, it wouldn't be much of a loss, I guess. Edited April 30, 2012 by strawberrymama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 My best guess is that she wants to brag to her friends and other family members about how well your kids are doing in school, and she doesn't consider homeschool to be "real school." I agree that this is all about competition... just that the competition is between your mom and her friends for Bragging Rights, and your mom wants more ammo. :D You hit the nail on the head. She LOVES bragging about her kids/grandkids etc to friends, and when they're homeschooled...well....hey! Wait a minute. I could tell her to say "They're number 1 in their class!" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 I don't know if this is the case where you live, but here there are hs spelling bees and science fairs. If your kids like competing, there's lots of opportunity. And great job on the NME! Thanks! The only groups that have well-attended bees and fairs are religious groups, which we prefer not to join. I do run a secular group, and I think I might just have to organize a mini-science fair myself next year. It won't be well-attended, but it will give the kids the opportunity to present their projects. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Some people just can't imagine things differently from the status quo. Going to a group school is just part of the American mind. Think how much Laura Ingalls Wilder put into getting to a school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielle1746 Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 We haven't even started homeschooling yet, and I have heard the competition thing from my mother and from my daughter's current pre-K teacher. Both are thankfully very supportive of our decision to homeschool next year, but my daughter's teacher suggested I just "give it some thought" regarding putting at least my daughter into public school kindergarten, because she thinks my daughter "would really do well with the competition." (She's pretty advanced for her age.) I basically thanked her and thought about it for a second, then moved on. :) My mother on the other hand, while very supportive, is still not completely sure about giving up all the things the kids might be missing. She mentioned the feeling of accomplishment they would get when they got the best grade in the class or got 100's in general. Or when they knew the answers to questions that the other kids didn't. My (and my husband's) feeling is that we do not want our children to base their feelings of accomplishment on whether they're able to outperform those around them. To me, that teaches them to do just enough to be better than their peers, as opposed to doing the best they can. It also teaches them that if they DON'T outperform others, then they can't take as much satisfaction in their work. I would rather they learned to do their best no matter who is around, and to be proud of what they do, no matter what others do. My boys are pretty competitive by nature though, so I am thinking about letting them earn stickers or something for each "100" or outstanding work they do. For every x amount of stickers they earn, they get a special prize/treat or something. I don't know. I just know missing out on competition with classmates is NOT a good reason, imo, to not homeschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoVanGogh Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Well, my mom wants me to put DC into school so she can have school photos. I don't know whether I am :glare: or :lol: about that. I have tried to send her "schoolish" looking photos in the fall, but those don't count because they aren't "school photos." Moms are weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Dh's only problem with homeschooling is the kids not being listed on the honor roll, etc. (My oldest 3 have opted for HS and done well and he loves that bragging thing). :confused: Your mom probably feels that way too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 1, 2012 Share Posted May 1, 2012 Thanks! The only groups that have well-attended bees and fairs are religious groups, which we prefer not to join. I do run a secular group, and I think I might just have to organize a mini-science fair myself next year. It won't be well-attended, but it will give the kids the opportunity to present their projects. And they'll win first prize! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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