Bad advice

[onaclairadeluna]

Do you ever get bad advice?

 

I just got my son tested and it was shown that he hassevere word retrieval problems and the advice that I was given was to involve him in a school competition that involved answering timed questions.

 

Huh?????

 

Seriously.

 

It's like saying "my kid can't swim" and having some expert tell you that you ought to send him into shark infested waters. Where in the world do schools get their personnel from? They are so interested in "properly socializing" my perfectly happy introverted kid that they completely forgot what the neuropsych said in her report.

 

All I want is extra time on tests. I think DS will qualify but I am seriously wondering if it wouldn't have been worth it to spend $ so I didn't have to hear idiotic suggestions.

 

Educators should have to take a Hippocratic oath

:ack2:

[wapiti]

*sigh* two years ago, when I showed my ds's teacher the psych's report and recommendation list, which included avoiding timed tests, etc., the only goal she could focus on was a social one. What's so irritating is that he behaved oddly for the psych but has no trouble socially at all (my social child!). But, the teacher was determined to make sure that was handled. Timed tests? What timed tests? Like the mad math minute they do every. single. day.:banghead:

[cherylw]

Yes, the whole timed tests stuff drives me nuts. I just want my kid to read...I don't care if he read X # words per minute. If he knows he's being timed, he does much worse.

[Heathermomster]

Do you ever get bad advice?

 

I just got my son tested and it was shown that he hassevere word retrieval problems and the advice that I was given was to involve him in a school competition that involved answering timed questions.

 

Huh?????

 

Seriously.

 

It's like saying "my kid can't swim" and having some expert tell you that you ought to send him into shark infested waters. Where in the world do schools get their personnel from? They are so interested in "properly socializing" my perfectly happy introverted kid that they completely forgot what the neuropsych said in her report.

 

All I want is extra time on tests. I think DS will qualify but I am seriously wondering if it wouldn't have been worth it to spend $ so I didn't have to hear idiotic suggestions.

 

Educators should have to take a Hippocratic oath

:ack2:

 

 

Your posting makes me thankful that homeschooling is legal in this country.

[onaclairadeluna]

Your posting makes me thankful that homeschooling is legal in this country.

 

:iagree:

 

The funny thing is, I am homeschooling...through a charter.

 

They almost always leave me alone, so they usually aren't that bad. But then I decided I needed to document DS's disability... it's like this van full of keystone-cop educators pored into my house bonking me on the head with their educational advice. Luckily they weren't *actually* in my house. Still it feels that they have no sense of personal space. (The reality is that I am pretty sure it is all coming from one woman. But it feels like a van load of cartoon characters)

 

In reality the majority of people in the room felt my son was delightful. It mirrors his social ability. He likes some people and pretty much ignores everyone else. I don't see this as pathological at all. No one in my family wants the school to help with my child's social development and even academically I don't really need their help (though I wouldn't turn my nose up at speech services, the slp is nice).

 

He told me the special ed teacher frowned the whole time she tested him. I really dislike it when people don't like my kid and want me to fix him to fit some preconceived mold.

 

But if they want to change something, maybe helping him with the problem that he has actually been diagnosed with instead of trying to make him into some kind of kid that *you* like. He's my kid after all, and I like him.

[Gingerbread Mama]

Timed tests? What timed tests? Like the mad math minute they do every. single. day.:banghead:

 

 

 

Yes, the whole timed tests stuff drives me nuts. I just want my kid to read...I don't care if he read X # words per minute. If he knows he's being timed, he does much worse.

 

I feel the same way. I don't care if my kid can answer X amount of math problems in a minute, I don't care if they can read 475 "nonsense" words per minute...I want them to be able to read and understand what they've read. I want them to be able to handle money and figure out everyday mathmatical problems. If it takes them longer to do it, but they arrive at the correct result, SO WHAT?!

 

Your posting makes me thankful that homeschooling is legal in this country.

 

:iagree:

 

 

He told me the special ed teacher frowned the whole time she tested him.

 

If it makes you feel any better, I've seen lots of evaluators come through the public school where I used to work...they all frowned, they all seemed unfriendly. The SpEd teachers tended to be very frown-y and negative, as well. Perhaps it's just in our area, but I sort of assumed that to work in that field, you had to have a cob permanently lodged someplace private ;) I've known a handful, an extremely small percentage, of SpEd people who were friendly and relaxed. I was never sure if the job changed the other people, or if the job just tended to draw sullen/glass half empty types.

[Laurie4b]

Do you ever get bad advice?

 

I just got my son tested and it was shown that he hassevere word retrieval problems and the advice that I was given was to involve him in a school competition that involved answering timed questions.

 

Huh?????

 

Seriously.

 

It's like saying "my kid can't swim" and having some expert tell you that you ought to send him into shark infested waters. Where in the world do schools get their personnel from? They are so interested in "properly socializing" my perfectly happy introverted kid that they completely forgot what the neuropsych said in her report.

 

All I want is extra time on tests. I think DS will qualify but I am seriously wondering if it wouldn't have been worth it to spend $ so I didn't have to hear idiotic suggestions.

 

Educators should have to take a Hippocratic oath

:ack2:

 

That would be funny if it wasn't so sad! Shees!

[Heathermomster]

MIL is a retired reading specialist and 2nd grade teacher. Teaching kids to read was her passion. She loves kids and struggled with fellow teachers and the teacher's union. MIL retired 5 years ago but continues to tutor. She can't stop herself.

[Tokyomarie]

MIL is a retired reading specialist and 2nd grade teacher. Teaching kids to read was her passion. She loves kids and struggled with fellow teachers and the teacher's union. MIL retired 5 years ago but continues to tutor. She can't stop herself.

 

And she's probably having more fun as a private tutor because she just gets to work with the kid and his family rather than dealing with nitpicky rules and regs about which children you're allowed to help and what you're allowed to do to "help."

[LizzyBee]

Yes. I was told by two different professionals that my dyslexic daughter would need to read using visual methods rather than phonics. I was not about to start circumventing her weaknesses without giving 110% effort to remediating them. I know that's what schools do, but she's not in school because I want remediation rather than long-term compensation and accommodation for her. She has done many things that she is not supposed to be able to do, and each time, she gains more confidence in her ability to succeed at whatever she sets her mind to. On the flip side, I wouldn't try to remediate her reading weaknesses by entering her in a spelling bee, which is more akin to the advice you received. :tongue_smilie: I like your idea of having educators take the Hippocratic oath!

[FairProspects]

Yup, we were told by the COVD fellow that ds was not dyslexic and had no number sense. In reality, it was exactly opposite.

[Shellers]

My son's public school did him wrong! Several times a year, for six years in a row, I was told one day my (severely dyslexic) son would just pick up reading. I'm not sure exactly how this was supposed to happen. Magic or maybe in his sleep? I can't believe I trusted their "expert" advice for so long.

 

He had an IEP with goals but no way to attain the goals. Year after year nothing changed. His IEP goals stayed the same, his reading level stayed the same. He didn't receive any special reading sessions or get to use any special reading programs. They'd put a reading passage in front of him and let him struggle through it with his teachers help, then they'd repeat again and again. He'd just end up memorizing parts of the story and didn't learn how to read at all. At the end of 4th grade he was reading at a beginning 1st grade level, but I'd say it was more of a kindergarten level.

 

What a joke.

[cherylw]

A few times I have felt like some educators totally dismiss anything I have to say because how could I possibly know anything about helping my son because I'm not "educated" or specially trained. Really, I feel I know more than many teachers do about dyslexia just by reading one book.

[VinNY]

I am glad I lucked out with my p.s. The Special Ed teacher is calm and relaxing according to my dtr. Generally we have been treated so well by the therapists (our common issue is the PPS director who has a personality flaw). Otherwise they respect my efforts and I respect theirs. I do agree that in general the approach to treat dyslexia in school is lacking. I do not see an individualized direct approach ideally using O-G methods. Once a child reaches 4 th grade and up, with reading issues or more,he is given an IEP where they still need to follow their grade level curriculum, while also try to master past skills.

[Finnella]

After my DS finished his last round of evaluations in 5th grade, both the ps and the psychologist told me that my DS wouldn't be able to spell, so just use spell check. He couldn't do math, so give him a calculator. His writing stank, so just have him type.

 

There's some truth to all of these, but his spelling was so dreadful that spell check couldn't help at all. Using a calculator didn't help him because he didn't understand any math concepts. While typing is a great strategy, my DS wasn't able to sign his name to a document or leave a note if he had to write it out by hand. While I brought him home last year, it was primarily because of bullying. But he was also flunking out of most of his 6th grade classes, despite these accommodations.

 

I'm not planning any spelling bees, and we'll be returning to the calculator when he hits algebra. And my DS types, although he can sign a document without embarrassment. But I think the middle road I took will better prepare my son for life, with the bonus that he actually understands math now.

[KathyBC]

Educators should have to take a Hippocratic oath

 

YES! I could not agree more.

[Pen]

My son's public school did him wrong! Several times a year, for six years in a row, I was told one day my (severely dyslexic) son would just pick up reading. I'm not sure exactly how this was supposed to happen. Magic or maybe in his sleep? I can't believe I trusted their "expert" advice for so long.

 

Basically this. But I wised up somewhat sooner. First PS said, wait, don't worry... Then Waldorf said better late than early and the if one just waited, the reading fairies would come. (Reading fairies was their term, magical assistance, that would just, poof, happen)...

 

What actually came was that I started realizing dyslexia was an issue, that it did not necessarily mean things would be presented as backwards or upside down in his writing or his ability to see letters, and that the "fairy" would be a solid O-G reading intervention program.

 

More recently the PS became helpful--partly because it has new leadership, I think. Partly because we now represent homeschoolers who mean extra money by using the facilities not a drain on them. Its biggest and best good advice was to spend 90 minutes per day working on the reading at home, and they gave another 30 minutes at the school, plus half hour at the school and another half hour at home on other language arts (writing, grammar, spelling etc)., daily. Its second best advice was to use whatever worked--which meant a multiple curriculum approach-- to get through that intensive time to be spent. Our physician agreed and said go for it even if he rebelled, cried, etc. It was a very tough year, but I now have a much more happy child who can read, and likes to do so. And has gained some confidence by doing something that was hard and seeing that perseverance has paid off. No magic. A good program. Lots of hard work.

[Finnella]

More recently the PS became helpful--partly because it has new leadership, I think. Partly because we now represent homeschoolers who mean extra money by using the facilities not a drain on them. Its biggest and best good advice was to spend 90 minutes per day working on the reading at home, and they gave another 30 minutes at the school, plus half hour at the school and another half hour at home on other language arts (writing, grammar, spelling etc)., daily. Its second best advice was to use whatever worked--which meant a multiple curriculum approach-- to get through that intensive time to be spent. Our physician agreed and said go for it even if he rebelled, cried, etc. It was a very tough year, but I now have a much more happy child who can read, and likes to do so. And has gained some confidence by doing something that was hard and seeing that perseverance has paid off. No magic. A good program. Lots of hard work.

 

I think it's great your son is having success and that you're getting good support from the ps. Our very large system requires the same reading program be used in every classroom. Experienced teachers were forbidden from using alternatives even if they thought a child needed it. Amazingly, my sons can read anyway.