What do you do when your child just truly hates school?

[m0mmaBuck]

Obviously quitting is not an option, although every day that yellow bus looks more inviting.

 

I have to pry him out of bed every morning.

 

He cries nearly every day, not always during the same subject.

 

He claims to like reading the best, but I think it just because it's just reading with no "work" attached to it.

 

What do I do with this kid?

[justamouse]

Which one, oh Hive Cruise Director? Age matters. :001_smile:

[m0mmaBuck]

Which one, oh Hive Cruise Director? Age matters. :001_smile:

 

DS10. He has hated school since he first set foot in PS for kindergarten.

[TXMomof4]

I am not above bribing. Get your math done without tears and we'll walk around the block. Finish your spelling and take 15 minutes on the Wii. How about some of your favorite snack while we do history.

 

I also let her do her math on the porch, reading on the exercise ball - whatever takes her mind off of the fact that she's doing school

 

Some days are great - some days are pulling teeth, but she's figuring out that getting the work done faster leaves her more time to play. My older two weren't like this at all so I'm having to get creative in order to get anything done with her.

[kalanamak]

Which one, oh Hive Cruise Director? Age matters. :001_smile:

 

I'm going to make a wild guess at the 10 year old.

 

Just the other day I had a big sit down and a discussion on The Rest Of His Life, and how cruddy this will be if he can't read, write, and do sums better than the run of the mill. Sometimes is just has to happen because I say so, sometimes it happens because he is happy, and sometimes it happens so he can get out the door to the gym. I pick which ever is working that day and run with it. Mine, a previously non-crier, has taken to crying over spelling ever day, but he's finally learning, so I heartlessly don't care.

 

:grouphug:

[justamouse]

DS10. He has hated school since he first set foot in PS for kindergarten.

 

Ahh. Well, at about 10, I warned my now 12 yo that there would be crying. It's a secret thing among many boys, but they hit 10, 11, 12, and in the house, they will cry. They're hormonal little goblins. They like dark caves, Lord of the Rings, and cold food that's supposed to be eaten hot. You survived one, by the looks of it.

 

I'm pmming you a link. :D

 

I do what Kalanamack is. Yes, this sucks, but see, I love you and don't want you to lick stamps for a living. Oh what? they're self stick now? Well, that's worse, think of all the adhesive you'll build up on your fingers.

 

No really, say that. Funny goes MILES at this age. But be firm. Yes, we can give you more free time and make sure you're well rested and full, but you Have to do these things. And if you do them, you can hook the praying mantis up to the wagon and take him into town.

Edited March 28, 2012 by justamouse

[m0mmaBuck]

Ahh. Well, at about 10, I warned my now 12 yo that there would be crying. It's a secret thing among many boys, but they hit 10, 11, 12, and in the house, they will cry. They're hormonal little goblins. They like dark caves, Lord of the Rings, and cold food that's supposed to be eaten hot. You survived one, by the looks of it.

 

I'm pmming you a link. :D

 

You make me laugh.... yes, hormonal little hobgoblin he is.

[Guest submarines]

Does he hate the way his learning experiences are organised / set up, or does he hate the actual learning? Is he interested in things? Passionate about things? One can't learn well when stressed out or upset. That's why most people who attended public schools don't remember much. :tongue_smilie:

[justamouse]

You make me laugh.... yes, hormonal little hobgoblin he is.

 

We cross posted-I added more.

[m0mmaBuck]

I'm going to make a wild guess at the 10 year old.

 

Just the other day I had a big sit down and a discussion on The Rest Of His Life, and how cruddy this will be if he can't read, write, and do sums better than the run of the mill. Sometimes is just has to happen because I say so, sometimes it happens because he is happy, and sometimes it happens so he can get out the door to the gym. I pick which ever is working that day and run with it. Mine, a previously non-crier, has taken to crying over spelling ever day, but he's finally learning, so I heartlessly don't care.

 

:grouphug:

 

Those are the approaches I try. We had the ditch digger/poo shoveler conversation yesterday. And if the crying were productive I might feel better about it, but I've never suffered crying well (I come from a long line of non-cryers) so that is something I find particularly unsavory.

 

<snip>I do what Kalanamack is. Yes, this sucks, but see, I love you and don't want you to lick stamps for a living. Oh what? they're self stick now? Well, that's worse, think of all the adhesive you'll build up on your fingers.

 

No really, say that. Funny goes MILES at this age. But be firm. Yes, we can give you more free time and make sure you're well rested and full, but you Have to do these things. And if you do them, you can hook the praying mantis up to the wagon and take him into town.

 

Rested. Full. Firm. Funny. Good advice for sure. Thank you!

 

Does he hate the way his learning experiences are organised / set up, or does he hate the actual learning? Is he interested in things? Passionate about things? One can't learn well when stressed out or upset. That's why most people who attended public schools don't remember much. :tongue_smilie:

 

He doesn't really have a particular interest or passion about anything. He likes Legos, Nerf guns, Star Wars, and video games.... As far as school, he likes when it's over. So I don't think it's so much the way it is set up as it is the actual learning. He values his free time. He couldn't care less if he learned anything more ever in his life.

[redsquirrel]

yes, boys that age do cry a lot don't they? And "If you would stop arguing with me we would be done by now" should be tattooed on my forehead.

 

You might want to listen to SWB's Mp3 'homeschooling the real child'. It might have some good ideas for you. It has been a while since I listened to that one, but I think at this point she might suggest an 'out not up' strategy. Cut way back on the difficulty of school and just keep working on skills he already has. Give his brain and his body some time to mature and you might get a reprieve.

 

I also think he is getting old enough where you need some kind of buy in. How much control over what he studies does he have? Is there ANY subject he would like to study? Maybe a year of physics AKA blowing things up? Is there some way legos can be real math? He likes to read... can he do oral narrations instead of writing? I know my boys will do so much more work if I let them give me oral answers instead of writing. Does he need to bounce on a mini-trampoline while he does so? I have one right in the school room.

[mommytime]

OP, are you sure you're not talking about my kiddo?? :tongue_smilie:

[m0mmaBuck]

I

yes, boys that age do cry a lot don't they? And "If you would stop arguing with me we would be done by now" should be tattooed on my forehead.

 

You might want to listen to SWB's Mp3 'homeschooling the real child'. It might have some good ideas for you. It has been a while since I listened to that one, but I think at this point she might suggest an 'out not up' strategy. Cut way back on the difficulty of school and just keep working on skills he already has. Give his brain and his body some time to mature and you might get a reprieve.

 

I also think he is getting old enough where you need some kind of buy in. How much control over what he studies does he have? Is there ANY subject he would like to study? Maybe a year of physics AKA blowing things up? Is there some way legos can be real math? He likes to read... can he do oral narrations instead of writing? I know my boys will do so much more work if I let them give me oral answers instead of writing. Does he need to bounce on a mini-trampoline while he does so? I have one right in the school room.

 

I wish I could take a more relaxed approach. I'm afraid if I cut back he will just be behind. I already feel that way some days because I am constantly playing catch up from the days where DH is supposed to teach but ends up working instead, leaving DSS19 to watch the youngers and little to no school getting done. I know this whole thing would probably be easier if I was committed to HS'ing for the long haul but we are "one year at a time" people and I feel a constant pressure to keep pushing things forward to make sure they are on par with or ahead of their PS peers just in case we put them back in PS. I can't stomach the thought of putting them back in PS and having the "I told you so" fairies come visit when it turns out I missed something, kwim?

 

I let him and his dad pick our current LA curriculum... which I don't really like because it is not very rigorous... but it's what they want. He chooses what subjects we study in science. He does very little writing as it is (his spelling is atrocious, his sentence/paragraph writing skills are not very good partly because he chooses words he thinks he can spell correctly and partly because he hates writing).... I let him pick and choose art projects. There aren't many other areas where I feel like he can pick what we do. What subjects could you see letting a 10yo pick beyond that?

Edited March 28, 2012 by m0mmaBuck

[AK_Mom4]

I would not ease off on the academics.

 

DS(now16) and I survived that age homeschooling using it the Just Get It Done method. You wanna play legos? Just get the school work done. You wanna go outside? Just get the school work done. Get it done and get it done right so we can all go on with our lives. There were many days where you could hear DS whining and me chanting "Just Get it Done"!

 

And....sneaky me.... I would record his favorite TV show at night and he could watch it "as soon as we are done for the day". With popcorn. I got him a Lego Robot Thing that he could muddle with "as soon as we are done for the day". In fact, all good things happened as soon as we got done. :D

[kalanamak]

And if the crying were productive I might feel better about it, but I've never suffered crying well (I come from a long line of non-cryers) so that is something I find particularly unsavory.

 

 

I would, too. Luckily kiddo is rather silent about it, and lets one or two tears drop when he gets his first word wrong in spelling.

 

I was a bad speller. It makes one not want to write, BTW.

 

Would he take a strict reward system? A bean put in a baby jar for every day done and something at the end of the beans. It sounds base, but what are most employees doing but waiting for the bean-check at the end of the month.

 

Sometimes I'm reduced to threats. When I'm dragging kiddo through spelling and he is not participating in the word attack, I tell him he's about to get one more word added on. This makes him sit up. In my ideal world I'd never use extra work as a punishment, but it was done to me, and I survived. So far kiddo hasn't asked more a counselor over this issue, either. ;)

[m0mmaBuck]

<snip> In fact, all good things happened as soon as we got done. :D

 

This is the tactic we use as well. No legos, no Nerf, no friends, no screen time, etc., until school is done for the day. It just seems like some days school will never be done!

 

I would, too. Luckily kiddo is rather silent about it, and lets one or two tears drop when he gets his first word wrong in spelling.

 

I was a bad speller. It makes one not want to write, BTW.

 

Would he take a strict reward system? A bean put in a baby jar for every day done and something at the end of the beans. It sounds base, but what are most employees doing but waiting for the bean-check at the end of the month.

 

Sometimes I'm reduced to threats. When I'm dragging kiddo through spelling and he is not participating in the word attack, I tell him he's about to get one more word added on. This makes him sit up. In my ideal world I'd never use extra work as a punishment, but it was done to me, and I survived. So far kiddo hasn't asked more a counselor over this issue, either. ;)

 

I can understand why issues with spelling make one not want to write. I really do. I actually let him write in his journal and do not correct any spelling errors ever in that book because I just want him to write about whatever he feels like writing without any concern for spelling. As long as he spells it phonetically so I can figure out what he's trying to say, it works well.

 

I like the reward system.... We do all like our bean-check, don't we?!? We already have a system whereby he gets a poker chip in a jar for additional chores/schoolwork/reading and those chips earn him extra screen time for the weekends/breaks. Perhaps I need some second system for just surviving the day!

[Pippen]

I haven't read all the replies but want to mention that for some children, hating school is a sign of undiagnosed issues, such as learning disabilities, processing problems, or fine motor skills that make writing and math paperwork difficult. If there's an underlying condition what looks like "I won't." is really "I can't, or I can't without a struggle."

 

If I had a child who was resistant and hated school from the moment they stepped foot into it, I'd seriously look at having them tested.

[Trilliums]

Sounds like it is time for a Dirty Jobs marathon. :001_smile:

[Trilliums]

I haven't read all the replies but want to mention that for some children, hating school is a sign of undiagnosed issues, such as learning disabilities, processing problems, or fine motor skills that make writing and math paperwork difficult. If there's an underlying condition what looks like "I won't." is really "I can't, or I can't without a struggle."

 

If I had a child who was resistant and hated school from the moment they stepped foot into it, I'd seriously look at having them tested.

 

 

I have been taking some time to consider possible replies to the OP, and wanted to build on this. My son was a lot like OPs son at age 10 and he does have LD issues. Also, he was wildly asynchronous in his development. As he matured and all his abilities caught up with each other, his competency grew. Now, at age 15, he is forging ahead with plans to attend the local CC or Univ. for high school credits in order to pursue his interests, without any outside pressure from me. At age 10...I wondered how he would ever cope in a class room setting, but I did pretty much resort to an unschooling approach, with a few minimum academics along the way. By the way, he was also in ps for K and half of 1st grade and it was definitely a toxic environment for him. Over the years, we have tried a variety of remedial materials for him, but I think he mostly needed time. When he was first dxed, the psychologist suggested this as a possibility, and I am grateful she did. So, I am in the relax a bit camp. I do understand the desire to keep him at grade level. I wrestled with this notion over and over again. DS was behind most of upper elementary in his mechanics: spelling, writing, math computation. But, he developed interests, a love a learning and analytical skills. Now, the mechanics are more easily acquired and I am glad he has the abilities to find his gaps and fill them in as needed.

[5LittleMonkeys]

I have one who hated all things academic, but once we addressed LDs and learning styles (VSL), dealt with emotional and maturity issues, found that spark that got her excited, and committed to respecting who she was and not trying to force her into a certain mold, we saw dramatic changes.

 

I found, through a lot of observation and research that we could overcome her LDs and cater to her learning style by changing a few things. Work in context, big picture observations before breaking things down, presenting lessons in smaller bites, using aids during math, choosing material that taught skills in the context of something she found interesting...all relatively small changes that made a difference.

 

We also had lots of conversations about ownership of her education, and commitment to a job well done. Even after we made some changes though, she was just stuck in this loop of bad habits. Whining, complaining, dawdling...so, I stopped dragging her through the day and stopped subjecting myself to her bad attitude. I stopped begging, yelling, pleading, bribing and cajoling... if she couldn't work efficiently, consistently and with a glad heart then I calmly and unemotionally directed her to her bed and told her to stay put until she was ready to be productive and at least feign interest. I was upfront about the fact that we were trying to break her bad habits and that I didn't expect changes overnight; it would take time.

 

I have to say though that the biggest differences came from finding something she was really good at and had a passion for and exploiting that; making that the focal point of our day. That, and validating her feelings about the subjects she loathes. "Yes, I know you hate math, I know it is difficult for you and I'm never going to tell you that math is fun, or that math can be exciting, or that you have to know algebra to function as an adult...because I know that for you, that just isn't true. However, it is a necessity; it is something you must do at least the minimum in, in order to attain your future goals. I will help you all the way, I will never abandon you, nor will I ever imply or allow it to be implied that you are somehow dumb or odd because you don't get math. Your talents lie in other areas that aren't academic and I'm so proud to be the mom of such an imaginative and artistic daughter - I wouldn't want you to be any other way. So, let's focus a short amount of time each day to solidifying the basics of math and then we can move onto what you love." That conversation was a big turning point (along with TeachingTextbooks) in the battle over doing math. Math was the big hurdle, (although we did have the spelling issue, a quick re-adjustment of MY expectations solved that one quickly) and once we tackled and tamed that beast the rest of our subjects didn't seem so overwhelming. Math, before we fixed it, made her feel stupid and slow and broken, which did a number on her confidence in anything else. No more.

 

So, in essence, it wasn't just one thing that turned the tides here. It was months of watching her, talking to her during quiet times, trying to wade through the behavior and emotion in order to see what the underlying problems were. I never gave up on her though and she has told me recently that she is thankful for that. She knows if I had tried to let her come out of it on her own she would still be sitting on her bed everyday during school time staring at the floor.

 

I don't know if any of that will be applicable to your son, but I though hearing about how we overcame the "school is stupid and pointless" attitude in our home might inspire you to keep trying with your son. :grouphug:

 

One more thought, and I hesitate to even type it but it keeps popping into my mind. If your son knows that you aren't committed to homeschooling for the long haul, could he be feeling that there is no point in him committing to it? Perhaps even feeling that you aren't committed to him by way of not committing to his education? I might be totally out in left field with that, and I don't mean to offend in any way. It's just that while I was working with my dd she mentioned many times that she was afraid I was going to give up on her and send her back to school. That fear caused her to feel that there was really no point in doing her best if I might at any time decide I was finished with her. Anyway, just a thought.

[m0mmaBuck]

Aimee, I wish I could find something he cared to do that wasn't toys or screen time related but so far no luck. Part of the reason we do so many extracurriculars is because there just has to be something he likes to do, right? There has been absolutely nothing academic that he has expressed interest or enjoyment toward. That... is frustrating.

 

And you may be right about him not feeling committed but honestly I don't have it in me to promise that this is his forever school situation. I can't promise him something that I may not be able to do. DH is disabled and may not be able to continue to work which would mean I would go back to work full time and there is no way DH can HS fulltime.... He can't even get through his abbreviated schedule on the 2 days I work, so I end up playing catch up and/or trying to get ahead on my days with the kids.

[Trilliums]

Aimee, I wish I could find something he cared to do that wasn't toys or screen time related but so far no luck. Part of the reason we do so many extracurriculars is because there just has to be something he likes to do, right? There has been absolutely nothing academic that he has expressed interest or enjoyment toward. That... is frustrating.

 

What kind of toys and shows/games does he tend to like?

[kalanamak]

Perhaps I need some second system for just surviving the day!

 

Dessert is our "for he's a jolly good fellow" reward.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Aimee, I wish I could find something he cared to do that wasn't toys or screen time related but so far no luck. Part of the reason we do so many extracurriculars is because there just has to be something he likes to do, right? There has been absolutely nothing academic that he has expressed interest or enjoyment toward. That... is frustrating. I know how frustrating that is because it took awhile for me to find this dd's spark. She's always been artistic but never with any specific focus. Do you know what did it? Watching anime. Yep, she became fascinated with anime and manga and started to draw what she saw in the shows. She has become exceptionally good at it and has decided that she would like to pursue a future in anime or illustration. She even decided to start Japanese this year because she reasoned that if she was going to work for an anime company being able to speak and read Japanese might be an asset. It took a long time of me showing interest in every passing fancy, providing lots and lots of experimenting in various things, and a lot of patience when she would all of a sudden, after a couple of weeks of intense interest, just up and decide she was finished with it completely. I'm not saying it will happen right away...it takes a lot of patience to wait for them to discover it.

 

Have you talked to him about video games? Asked him about the story within them, the characters (assuming he is playing games with those), the different genres of games? Just get him talking about them and see where it goes. Have you ever let him watch documentaries on the history of video games? He doesn't necessarily need to produce anything - as long as he is exercising his brain with speculation, analysing, comparisons, summarizing, personal opinion. Later, if you see a spark and he seems willing you could ask for a report\summary based on some aspect of a video game instead of a boring writing prompt.

 

The goal is to try to study skills within the context of something\anything he finds interesting and relevant. Does he like comics or graphic novels? If so talk about the grammar and sentence structure within them. (Yah, I know it's not well written stuff but it's a start to let him see that it doesn't have to be mind numbing stuff.) Maybe you could even get him to re-write some of the sentences in a better way?

 

And you may be right about him not feeling committed but honestly I don't have it in me to promise that this is his forever school situation. I can't promise him something that I may not be able to do. DH is disabled and may not be able to continue to work which would mean I would go back to work full time and there is no way DH can HS fulltime.... He can't even get through his abbreviated schedule on the 2 days I work, so I end up playing catch up and/or trying to get ahead on my days with the kids.

 

I get this last part too. I'm sorry it has to be that way for you guys. I'm assuming he understands the situation? Perhaps explain to him that you want to make the most of his time at home. That you want him to have time to do those things that he finds fun and exciting. You've probably already tried talking to him like this - I can imagine how frustrated you must feel. :grouphug:

 

Have you tried different types of curricula? Perhaps something that has the skills more incorporated into learning about the content subjects? Do you think something like that would be more engaging for him? I'm thinking something like Paths of Exploration by GeoMatters. I know there are others out there but they are slipping my mind at the moment. What about something online or dvd based? I know many of those can be expensive, but I have seen them on sale and used at times. Something like AHA! Science might be fun and engaging for him.

 

Keep talking to us...maybe we can help you have an epiphany!

[CroppinIt]

I would take a good hard look at what's not working and why. It might be that a simple change in curriculum will help, or you might have to change your entire approach. Is he a visual, audio, or kinesthetic learner? That makes a HUGE difference.

 

Another idea that I'm going to throw out there and then duck and run, is that sometimes they have to be shown all the options. The grass is always greener and all that jazz. Maybe putting him on that big yellow bus for a semester would help him appreciate it at home. When ds9 was ready to start kindergarden, he *really* wasn't sold on the hsing thing and wanted to "try" ps. Okay, so I took him to a local elementary school to see what it was like. At 3pm, with all the busses and busy-ness. We didn't make it in the front door. :)

[ktgrok]

Fun stuff happens when school is done. That helps. Also, sometimes when the whining and carrying on were bad I'd send him to his room. Without an audience to ham it up for he got his work done MUCH faster. Does he have a checklist of work each day? That cut down on the whining a lot too...as he had a physical list in his grubby hands and knew that as soon as that list was crossed off he was done...and it was up to him how long that took.

[walkermamaof4]

Can he have Dreambox as a reward? At least it teaches or reinforces math in a great way albeit screen time.

 

Are there ways to make it more fun? (I am guessing you've tried, but wondered what you've tried.) We do silly things that help, like they use the paddles from the Likewise game to do spelling sometimes, or we do sword drills to see who can find our Bible passage quickest, or we do Latin bees and the first to write the word correctly gets a point. He with the most points gets a dessert pass. I do anything I can to try to make learning a bit more fun. There are plenty of not so fun times for them to have to get through. It isn't like we can make it all fun, but they know I try anyway. Our move to MCT helped with grammar. We did Sentence Family before that. If they like to draw or color, I print pages for them to color while we read. If they like to read out loud, I rotate through kids and we each get to read a paragraph. We found MM to be more exciting than some other maths, although I think he liked RS better and I am tempted to see if we could move back to it...

 

Sorry if you've tried all of these.

 

BTW, I am glad to hear boys are criers at this age. My ds9 has been one for a year and we didn't realize it was this typical. We'd even asked Brain Balance about it. So that was encouraging to read in this thread, as much as it isn't helpful to you. Wish I could offer more to help.

[m0mmaBuck]

What kind of toys and shows/games does he tend to like?

 

Legos, nerf guns, Hotwheels.... For shows he likes Ax Men, Deadliest Catch, Swamp People, Dirty Jobs, Ancienct Aliens, How It's Made.... and then things like James Bond ... For video games, he likes Skylanders and 1st person shooter games.

 

I get this last part too. I'm sorry it has to be that way for you guys. I'm assuming he understands the situation? Perhaps explain to him that you want to make the most of his time at home. That you want him to have time to do those things that he finds fun and exciting. You've probably already tried talking to him like this - I can imagine how frustrated you must feel. :grouphug:

 

He understands. We've never hid it from him. When we pulled him from PS midway through 2nd grade it was a "let's see how it goes." Returning to PS has always been an option, but he definitely does not want to go back, at least not until middle school.

I should find some documentaries on video games. He might enjoy that. I don't know where to incorporate that into school, but at least he might enjoy it. Maybe just a verbal report would do(since he hates writing so much). And instead of a book report, a video game report... I like that! He's only allowed to play on weekends but I'm sure he could talk about it all week long.

He doesn't like comics or graphic novels. He doesn't really read for enjoyment whatsoever. He will read anything I tell him to read for school. He comprehends well. He enjoys it while he reads it. But he would never choose to read anything. Ever.

 

Have you tried different types of curricula? Perhaps something that has the skills more incorporated into learning about the content subjects? Do you think something like that would be more engaging for him? I'm thinking something like Paths of Exploration by GeoMatters. I know there are others out there but they are slipping my mind at the moment. What about something online or dvd based? I know many of those can be expensive, but I have seen them on sale and used at times. Something like AHA! Science might be fun and engaging for him.

 

Keep talking to us...maybe we can help you have an epiphany!

 

I've always veered away from DVD/online curriculum because I don't want him getting sucked in to the screen but maybe that's what he needs to be happy with school. I'll have to look into the curriculum you suggested too. I can't do something that's too teacher intensive though because DH can't/won't follow through unless it's really laid out for him. But maybe something computer/DVD based for a subject here or there would be the change he needs.

 

I would take a good hard look at what's not working and why. It might be that a simple change in curriculum will help, or you might have to change your entire approach. Is he a visual, audio, or kinesthetic learner? That makes a HUGE difference.

 

Another idea that I'm going to throw out there and then duck and run, is that sometimes they have to be shown all the options. The grass is always greener and all that jazz. Maybe putting him on that big yellow bus for a semester would help him appreciate it at home. When ds9 was ready to start kindergarden, he *really* wasn't sold on the hsing thing and wanted to "try" ps. Okay, so I took him to a local elementary school to see what it was like. At 3pm, with all the busses and busy-ness. We didn't make it in the front door. :)

 

There are days when I think he is definitely more of an auditory learner, but then other times I wonder if visual is his thing. Definitely not kinesthetic. Hands on stuff frustrates him to no end and retention from it is horrible. We use CLE Math, currently are using LLATL for LA, SOTW, used RS4K Chem earlier and are now doing living books and boxed experiments, Latina Christiana, Complete Book of Maps and Geography.... I'm sure there's more but those are the basics.

He's been on that yellow bus. He hates PS. He cries whenever it is brought up that he has the choice to go back because he doesn't want to.

 

Fun stuff happens when school is done. That helps. Also, sometimes when the whining and carrying on were bad I'd send him to his room. Without an audience to ham it up for he got his work done MUCH faster. Does he have a checklist of work each day? That cut down on the whining a lot too...as he had a physical list in his grubby hands and knew that as soon as that list was crossed off he was done...and it was up to him how long that took.

 

We definitely hold fun for after school and the crying means he has be removed from us. He does have a check list as well. One for the day as well as one for the week so he can work ahead if he were ever so inclined to have a Friday off....

 

Can he have Dreambox as a reward? At least it teaches or reinforces math in a great way albeit screen time.

What is a dream box?

 

Are there ways to make it more fun? (I am guessing you've tried, but wondered what you've tried.) We do silly things that help, like they use the paddles from the Likewise game to do spelling sometimes, or we do sword drills to see who can find our Bible passage quickest, or we do Latin bees and the first to write the word correctly gets a point. He with the most points gets a dessert pass. I do anything I can to try to make learning a bit more fun. There are plenty of not so fun times for them to have to get through. It isn't like we can make it all fun, but they know I try anyway. Our move to MCT helped with grammar. We did Sentence Family before that. If they like to draw or color, I print pages for them to color while we read. If they like to read out loud, I rotate through kids and we each get to read a paragraph. We found MM to be more exciting than some other maths, although I think he liked RS better and I am tempted to see if we could move back to it...

We use Scrabble Slam cards to do spelling. We play lots of games (Boggle, Scrabble, Math War, Qwirkle, Rush Hour, Yahtzee, etc). We play music in the background and I let them take turns picking what we listen to. I take them to the craft store monthly (or more often) and let them each pick a science and art/craft project to do. There's more.... I'm drawing a blank. I've looked at MCT but DH doesn't like the looks of the program... I may just take the plunge anyway because his choice of LLATL is just.... bleh. However, I'm giving it a chance since both DH and DS wanted it. He's never liked to color or draw but today he expressed an interest in an Ed Emberly book he expressed an interest in. Reading outloud is strange torture to him (and not because he has any difficulty with it.... he just doesn't like it) but he likes to be read to. He likes to listen to audio books and I recently picked up SOTW3 read by Jim Weiss from the library because he'd rather listen to him than me.

 

Sorry if you've tried all of these.

 

BTW, I am glad to hear boys are criers at this age. My ds9 has been one for a year and we didn't realize it was this typical. We'd even asked Brain Balance about it. So that was encouraging to read in this thread, as much as it isn't helpful to you. Wish I could offer more to help.

You gave me lots to think about. And there is something to be said for knowing that you aren't the only one with a boy who cries, lol.