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Would you make her wear the underwear?  

  1. 1. Would you make her wear the underwear?

    • Make her put them on
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    • No, don't worry about it - she'll do it all when she feels like it
      22
    • Other (please explain)
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DD (will be 3 the beginning of May) doesn't like to wear underwear. Obviously, she isn't potty trained yet.

So this morning, I figured we'd give underwear a try - she threw.a.fit. She did NOT want the underwear on at all! I eventually got them on her, but I was just wondering what the general consensus is - whether I should just make her wear them and assume her not wanting to wear them is just a control thing on her part, or if her not wanting to wear them was more of a 'sign' that she's giving me that she isn't ready yet?

Oh, and she doesn't mind wearing them once they are on. It's just the fit to get them on. She wore them the rest of the morning with no complaints.

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I'd probably start telling her every time I change her diaper that when she is three she won't need diapers anymore. She'll use the toilet and wear big girl panties, being sure to make it sound very positive.

 

But, I'd also be wondering if it could be a sensory issue with the elastic. If it is, I'd be looking for some undies that are soft where the elastic sits.

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I was going to say you could go either way--have her wear them and clean up messes until she figures out that she doesn't want to be wet/dirty and decides to use the toilet, or wait and when she's ready she'll train.

 

But since she wears them just fine after they're on and just throws a fit about putting them on, I'd say put them on her whether she likes it or not. It seems to be more of an obedience/discipline issue than a readiness issue.

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My dd still prefers not to wear undies...although she is finally wearing them more regularly now that she has boy brief cut undies. She potty trained naked and preferred that. She couldn't remember that she didn't have a diaper on when she was wearing panties because they landed in the same place but without panties she would run to the potty and go. I guess all this to say she just may not like panties so try other styles of underwear (I love the boy undies they fit dd perfectly! way better than girl undies) or just let her go commando.

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Could it possibly be a sensory thing?

I don't think so. She wears pretty much anything and everything else with no problems. Plus, once they are on I never hear a bit of complaint.

She doesn't want to wear underwear or she wants to stay in a diaper?

Not sure. I just know that she picked out her dress this morning, and when I pulled the underwear out of the drawer, it was met with 'NO!! MOMMY!!! NO UNDERWEAR!!!' complete with jumping and crying. :rolleyes: :lol:

I was going to say you could go either way--have her wear them and clean up messes until she figures out that she doesn't want to be wet/dirty and decides to use the toilet, or wait and when she's ready she'll train.

 

But since she wears them just fine after they're on and just throws a fit about putting them on, I'd say put them on her whether she likes it or not. It seems to be more of an obedience/discipline issue than a readiness issue.

She likes to do what she likes to do, that's for sure. :lol: And she doesn't like to be told different.

I think that's why I'm not sure on this issue - I can't tell where this is coming from - wanting to get her way, or not being ready!! :lol:

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I let mine run naked when they wanted. The ones who preferred to be naked toilet trained earlier than the ones who didn't and on their own initiative. Of course I didn't have carpet so it was easier to clean up messes. The messes didn't happen very often before they wanted to go to the toilet. I also had a potty set out where they could have easy access to it.

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Some kids pitch a fit when you change their diapers, or give them a bath, or put on a coat, but you do it anyway, right?

 

Since she's OK after the "moment" of putting on the undies, I'd make her wear them.

 

But, you might want to give her a choice among different pairs of undies, or whether to put them on before or after her shirt, or the like.

 

Sounds like you have a little control freak like my dd, LOL. She was known at that age to switch out her undies "behind my back" as a protest over being told what clothes to wear. Not much has changed since then, either!

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It sounds like a control issue to me and I am going to dissent and say that if she can throw a fit about underwear she is old enough to wear them.

 

I am from the early potty training camp though. When my kids turned 2 I stopped buying diapers except pullups for bedtime. It took less than a month to have each daytime trained and by 2 1/2 they were both consistent day and night. I had no desire to fight a strong willed toddler over something I couldn't control (their bodily functions).

 

I would probably fill a basket in her room with underwear, stop offering her diapers as an option and tell her she is welcome to hang out in her room until she is ready to put her panties on. It doesn't seem to take long for kids to catch on to what is required when they don't have other options or someone to debate with.

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If she's almost three, barring any physical or other disabilities, she's definitely ready.

 

I will qualify that with saying that I waited until each of mine turned three, because 1) I did not want to do the metro bathroom tour every time we left the house and 2) when I finally stopped diapers, it was quick and easy. The additional benefit is that 10-15 years later, they each have bladders far larger than mine, and I figure late training may have something to do with that.

 

Sure, it's a control thing. If you are ready, I'd make it into a game. Let her pick out the pretty panties in the store, give her stickers when she puts them on nicely. Does she say why she does not want to put them on? If it really doesn't matter to you, let it go and try again next month.

 

:001_smile:

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Did she pick the underwear? Are they cute? Are they comfy? I'd make a big deal out of wearing big girl undies and let her pick some pretty ones.

 

If it continues, she just may be resisting the expectations associated with wearing underwear?

:iagree: but overall, that is not a battle I would fight. I would give it a few more months.

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