How would you have reacted?

[In the Rain]

I wouldn't have thought to call the police, but I would have been very worried.

[emzhengjiu]

I probably wouldn't have called the police, but I would have been very concerned. Actually, calling the police wasn't a bad idea. What if something had happened. In our area, the police receive these kinds of calls regularly. The son of our elderly neighbor called the police several times last year when she didn't answer the phone for more than a day. She was fine, thankfully. She was busy with senior activites! He stopped calling the police when he realized my daughters and I were willing to check on her for him.

 

Ann

[Laurie4b]

It would bother me that they didn't call, BUT now you know that's their MO, and then your mind won't be so inclined to leap ahead to disasters. Don't forget that they are from a different generation that wasn't used to being hooked up 24/7 so to have a couple days without communication go by is no big deal.

 

I would have preferred to be contacted about the allergic reaction, and though hives can be an indication of something major to be concerned about down the pike, I remember growing up that they were not considered that big a deal, either.

 

So next time, I'd nicely ask for the level of communication I'm comfortable with, including about medical issues. Do you want them to call you about colds, fever, stuff they need to consult a health professional about, etc? Let them know that.

 

But I wouldn't be mad or feel they were irresponsible or were undermining me or anything.

[RanchGirl]

That would worry me. I would call for a welfare check as well. And honestly, it sounds like even the pharmacist thought they should call you about the reaction! Not calling about that and leaving the phones off for so long, sounds like a passive aggressive method of making some kind of point. At least if my in-laws did that, they would have a reason. Not knowing yours, I can't say the same about them.

 

However, since the kids are fine I wouldn't say anything now or hold a grudge, I would just find other child care providers in the future. Clearly their idea of responsible and your idea of responsible do not match up.

[missmoe]

I would let it go for this visit, but if you leave the kids with them again let them know your expectations before you leave. Have the kids call every night, so we don't worry that something has happened. It sounds that the grandparents did a great job, but your expectations were different than theirs.

[katilac]

Another thought for next time is to give the KIDS a cell phone. They are far more likely to use it, lol.

[Harriet Vane]

Another thought for next time is to give the KIDS a cell phone. They are far more likely to use it, lol.

 

This is what I did, and I have never regretted it.

 

In our case, my dd would get a little spooked and want to call me. Mil would tell her she was a "big girl" and should not bother me. An hour later dd would have worked herself into wide-awake all-out panic, and two hours later the damage would be almost irreversible. I was soooooo upset with my mil for doing this--I made it clear to her each. and. every. time. that dd could call me if she needed me.

 

When mil proved unable to do what was expected, we bought a cell phone and entrusted it to dd. When dd needed me, she called, we chatted for ten minutes, and then dd would be able to sleep. Easy-peasy.

[Ellie]

See, back in the day before cell phones and home computers and skype, we left our dc for a week while we went to Hawaii. We didn't call them, they didn't call us. It was ok. One dd was with her grandmother, the other was with friends. We allowed our dc to stay with them because we knew and trusted them.

 

The fact that you can have such frequent--and inexpensive--contact with the dc while you're gone seems like good news-bad news, the bad news being that you panicked after 48 hours with no real reason to do so.

[cuckoomamma]

Dh and I would have freaked out even earlier :-) Hives are a big, big deal to us, so that would have clinched the deal. We absolutely would have wanted to have been called if there was an allergic reaction to anything.

[MariannNOVA]

We have phoned the police in a similar situation -- makes perfect sense to me.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I'm not a worrier but YMMV. You followed your gut and I don't ever think that us a totally bed thing.