Pleasure Reading and my DD

[Elizabeth in MN]

I need either support, drinking buddies (joking) or some "been there, done that" advice. Actually, all is welcome!

 

My ex and I and all of out families are avid book worms. No matter where we go, we have a book with us. When I got pregnant I could not wait to start reading children's books again. Some of them are the best! Her first book was "Goodnight Moon" when she was four days old. She loved being read to, and was an earlier reader. I followed most of the advice out there - I read to her early, often, and for fun. Trips to the library were fun times for us, a weekly event we looked forward to. We read out way through most of the suggestions in "The Read-Aloud Handbook" for Preschool and under. I built a home library for my DD that any book lover would sell their eye-teeth for.

 

At some point she stopped reading for fun. I can't really place my finger on when. It might have been our brief time with her in public school. She tore through half the Harry Potter series in book form (the second half, the first half we listened to in audio form). She has enjoyed a lot of Manga and the American Girl books. But. That's. It.

 

That home library I built? Dust covers it. She doesn't like the library here so we never go (I don't like it either). Free reading for home schooling is dead in the water.

 

So how do I ignite the flame again?

 

She has expressed some interest in reading "The Hunger Games". I've thought that maybe the boo collection was too easy for her. We're going through a bookshelf at a time and having her read the summary on the back. If she doesn't find it interesting then we've agreed to sell the book - I keep the money so there is no financial incentive for her to get rid of the books. She has no interest in re-reading the HP series. All the historical fiction books I have for her structured reading bore the socks off her. In general if I give her a books she finds it boring. The only current exception to that would be the "Sailor Moon" Manga series, which is Teen rated.

[regentrude]

I have no BTDT, but a few suggestions:

 

Audiobooks. Listen to some while driving in the car, or while doing chores. Audiobooks have often inspired my son to read.

 

Mandate reading. Not for a school, not assigned books, but mandate a certain time of self-selected reading every day. Sometimes the appetite comes while eating.

 

Maybe the books you select ARE indeed boring. I found that my son, who now does read for pleasure, disliked most of the historic fiction books I brought home for him as per recommendation of TWTM. He often found the style antiquated and the stories moralizing.

 

Your DD may be ready for more challenging books. Let her read the Hunger Games if that is what she is interested in. Let her read books for young adults, or for adults.

 

Pack a book for waiting times. She may say she does not want to take a book, but she may change her mind half an hour into the wait and gladly take the book you brought.

Edited January 21, 2012 by regentrude

[Legomom]

I am also a book lover with loads of books and my sons are good readers but are not big on novels. We have free reading during the day for a set time and the only rule is no comic books during that time. Any other books or magazines are fair game including ones that I may think are too easy. We also have a separate assigned reading time for more challenging books.

 

In the WTM the suggestion is to go to the library and require one book of each of these categories to be checked out "poetry, hobby/craft, science, history, children's classic, art, biography". They are not required to read them, just check them out. Oftentimes they end up reading them even if at first they think they might not be interested. They are frequently surprised at what they find.

 

I didn't see any nonfiction mentioned in your post. One of my son loves nonfiction, including Sports Illustrated, Kids Almanac, biographies, Guinness Book of World Records. My other son likes humor and poetry. They both love Garfield books (easy to read but it is reading and they get a huge kick out of him) and Calvin and Hobbes (one reviewer said Calvin has the vocabulary of a Yale graduate!)

 

Also, if I have a book that I really want them to read, I ask them to read it to me. E.g., I asked one son to read Heidi to me and my other son. That worked great and we all really enjoyed it. It would have been a push for him to read it by himself. The shared experience made it fun for all of us and he read the whole thing.

 

Anyway, a few ideas -- hope this helps. I love to read everything I can get my hands on and I love to collect books, so I can relate to you!

 

ETA: Also, if I think they might enjoy a book, I ask them to read just a couple of chapters and tell me what they think of it and then they don't have to finish it. If I REALLY want them to read it, I read a few chapters to them to start them off.

Edited January 22, 2012 by Karen in Eastern WA
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[HeidiKC]

I have no BTDT, but a few suggestions:

 

Audiobooks. Listen to some while driving in the car, or while doing chores. Audiobooks have often inspired my son to read.

 

Mandate reading. Not for a school, not assigned books, but mandate a certain time of self-selected reading every day. Sometimes the appetite comes while eating.

 

Maybe the books you select ARE indeed boring. I found that my son, who now does read for pleasure, disliked most of the historic fiction books I brought home for him as per recommendation of TWTM. He often found the style antiquated and the stories moralizing.

 

YES! Agree.

 

Audiobooks, especially. Also, unless the library is just a miserably depressing place, I'd take her. Wouldn't most kids choose to get a break from school out and about anywhere? Is the librarian any good? Maybe she can suggest some books based on other books your ds likes. I find librarians somewhat helpful, but if you have an independent bookstore I'd check that out. The last time I went I was just overwhelmed by all the awesome suggestions they had for me and wished I could afford them all. Obviously that an expensive route, but maybe take her there to encourage her interest and purchanse just one book that she'll hopefully love. Which will hopefully convince her that there might be some other great books out there!

 

Good luck, that's so hard.

Edited January 22, 2012 by HeidiKC

[Momling]

My almost 8 yr old has never been interested in books. It's just not her thing. The only thing that has worked to get her voluntarily reading is to offer to let her stay up a half-hour later if she wants to read in bed at night. So while her bedtime is 8:30, she can go to bed at 9 if she's reading in bed...

[Momofeat]

Do you still read to her? I cannot tell you the number of times my dds have gotten hooked onto a book I was reading aloud and were then caught mischievously "sneaking ahead".

[MollyAnn]

It has been difficult to get my dc to read also. Drives me crazy because I love to read and just assumed they would too.

One thing that does help (and I got the idea from Bunnicula, lol) is on Saturday nights I buy them a snack that they usually don't get to have and they can stay up as late as they want reading. They are 9 and 11.

It was also pointed out to me that I was trying to get them to read books from book lists on the classical education book lists and they just weren't interested. So as much as it pains me I take them to the book store and let them pick out what they want, within reason. There are some series out there that I just can't bring myself to pay for.

As for The Hunger Games, I LOVED the books. There are obviously parts that are extremely brutal and violent but they are still really good. My dd, 11, just expressed interest and I am leaning toward letting her read them. She is working her way through Harry Potter right now though so it might be a while.

[Lily_Grace]

I'm another one voting for audio books. I take it a step further and about a week later I check out the hardcopy from the library and put it in the car or bathroom. When you have "unavoidable delay" you may as well have something interesting!

 

Has she gone through the Percy Jackson series? Those are a lot of fun.

[Haiku]

Free reading for home schooling is dead in the water.

 

 

I'm not sure what you mean by "free reading for homeschooling," because if it's free reading it's not connected to school, and if it's for homeschooling, it's assigned reading.

 

Be that as it may, my kids (9 and 10) have to read for half an hour each day from books I select. My kids love to read, but given the choice my dd would read the Warriors series over and over and over and over and over again, and my son would read nothing but Garfield and Peanuts.

 

I get a bunch of non-fiction and quality children's novels from the library and put them on the "library shelf" in our house. The children must select from that shelf when it's time for their half an hour of school reading. I don't care what they read or if they finish it, but it has to come from the approved shelf.

 

The rest of the time, they can read what they want (although I do have limits on what they can read ... but since I never introduced them to trashy books, they don't choose them at the library). I have a limit of one Garfield or Peanuts book out at a time, and it can be read once and then is returned. My ds was annoyed when I instituted that rule, but he quickly found the Graphic Mysteries and Graphic Mythology series, which he is devouring.

 

My dd17 hates to read. I struggled for years to get her to read. It was a monumental battle. The only reason she reads now is because she's in high school (public) and has to read 4 novels a year and write reports on them. Lucky for me, the school's list of "approved" books is pretty good. This year she has read The Penelopiad and The Crucible. Last year she read To Kill a Mockingbird and A Raisin in the Sun, among others.

 

As for poor libraries, I hear you. We have left several libraries due to their poor content and less-than-stellar environments. Luckily we have found a nice branch library with an AMAZING children's librarian. She used to be a camp counselor, so she plans all sorts of awesome activities for the kids. BUT! I make heavy, heavy use of online book reservations, so I can have a ton of great books sent to our nearest branch and I just run in and check them out. There ARE good books in most libraries, you just have to hunt them up. Our library has a floating collection, meaning the books don't have assigned home branches but stay wherever they are returned. After a year+ of me requesting great books and returning them either to our nearest branch or the one where we attend programs, those libraries are building up a good store of children's books (and they tend to stay there because not many people check them out after we use them). I usually check out about 60 books a week.

 

Tara

[Another Lynn]

Do you still read to her? I cannot tell you the number of times my dds have gotten hooked onto a book I was reading aloud and were then caught mischievously "sneaking ahead".

 

:iagree: It can also help stretch their ability to take in more difficult vocab and sentence structure which can open up more books to them.

[KarenNC]

I feel your pain! We have a collection of about 3000 books at home, not counting my daughter's books, the cookbooks or the homeschool books. She comes from long lines of intense readers on both sides and was an early reader who reads very well. Now, she does read all the time, but.......it's graphic novels, comic strip series, magazines or manga if given the free choice. She's very visually oriented and loves to draw as well, which may be part of it. Another part is that there is just so much more out there in that genre now, many of them quite good. We are thinning our library currently and last night looked at the shelves of fantasy and sci-fi we've saved for her, that we loved as teens. My husband said, wistfully, "Maybe she'll enjoy prose one day....."

 

Audiobooks are wonderful. We started doing those in the car when she was 4 or so and still do it. They are usually books that I've picked out because I'm not going to sit and listen to something horribly written ;), but she is free to find one to suggest or try. She usually doesn't. I use this to introduce her to stories I think she'll enjoy, as well as some things I want her exposed to for school. We just finished up several Shannon Hale books (who also has a couple of good graphic novels, btw). It's also a bonus that it's easy to discuss those books together since we're experiencing them at the same time.

 

I require participation in at least one book club at the library (where, luckily, she has a friend, since they've been going to book clubs together for several years now). This has lead to discovering several authors she enjoyed, but not yet had her reading prose by them of her own will. I have several historical fiction books assigned along with history, but, mostly, if she finds them totally boring after the first couple of chapters, I switch to something else. She most recently hated the Young Royals series by Carolyn Myers, for instance. We also just went through Lightning Lit 7 and she enjoyed that, though it only took us a semester. We're taking a break to focus on mythology for the National Mythology exam. I have gone through periods of required reading time (30 minutes or so) daily from a selection of prose books that I offer. We do still read with her. Her father has bedtime reading duty--current selection is "Guards, Guards" by Terry Pratchett. Maybe institute a nightly family read-aloud?

 

Do you have access to an e-reader, like a Kindle? I've seen some folks say that kids who are reluctant to pick up longer prose books don't balk at the Kindle because they don't have the visual intimidation of how thick the book is (plus it's electronic, which is usually a plus for my daughter ;)).

[KarenNC]

:iagree: It can also help stretch their ability to take in more difficult vocab and sentence structure which can open up more books to them.

 

We've used reading aloud and audiobooks for this. She has no trouble following any of the books we've chosen, including Dickens "A Christmas Carol." Unfortunately, understanding complex sentence structure and difficult vocabulary doesn't guarantee they'll choose prose for free reading, I've found. My daughter tests many grades above age level on the WJIII for reading, vocabulary and comprehension.

[Deniseibase]

BTDT.

 

My DD, now age 11 and an avid reader, did NOT like to read or be read aloud to or listen to audiobooks. It took a lot of time to get her past that.

 

We started in fourth grade. When we started, the only things she would read voluntarily were comic books/graphic novels and those dratted Rainbow Fairy books. I had read a book by a sixth-grade teacher who wrote about how sustained silent reading had turned around a lot of the non-readers in her classroom, sorry I can't recall the title.

 

I told her she had to read 15 minutes a day, and she had to be quiet and not interrupt herself with talking, and the books had to be books she had not read before and not comics. At first this was EXCRUCIATING for her. She HATED it. I CONSTANTLY had to remind her that this was reading time and she was not supposed to be talking, playing with her brother, petting the dog, staring into space, etc. She was ALWAYS asking if her 15 minutes were up yet. It required my constant supervision for that 15 minutes. It wore us both out.

 

But, after about 3 months, it started to work. She started interrupting herself less. She started to become engaged in the books and started talking about them AFTER reading time was over. When she stopped watching the clock and started reading PAST the 15 minute mark without noticing, I knew we were getting somewhere. I started gradually increasing the time once we reached that point, adding 5 minutes per month until she was reading 45 minutes a day by the end of fourth grade.

 

During this year, she started out reading those beginning reader chapter books - Rainbow Fairies, Disney Fairies, all those stupid series with the pink and sparkly and gag :D Later, she decided on her own she wanted to read the Harry Potter books as her first foray into 'big kid' books. She liked those, but I think she skipped around a lot, considering how FAST she claims to have 'read' some of those books. I didn't say a word about this to her - I decided the important thing was that she had decided on her own that she wanted to read tougher books, and that she was managing that in her own way. I kept in mind that my ultimate goal was to build enthusiasm, and she was enthused about choosing her own 'big kid' books.

 

Towards the end of the year we had our first big breakthrough - she discovered the Warriors series and FINALLY fell in love!! She starting reading outside of the designated 'reading time', and started reading some of the books over and over outside of 'reading time'. She continued reading the series over the summer, even though it was not 'school time.'

 

Beginning of fifth grade - I bumped the time up to one hour per day and then pretty much let her go. The only rules were the same selection rules we had the year before - can't read the same book over and over (at least not as a way to 'get through' reading time, she did plenty of repeated reading on her own time and I think that's a good thing), and comics don't 'count' for reading time. I suggested some titles to her that I thought she'd like, but she pretty much rejected those sight unseen just because MOM had suggested them :tongue_smilie: She continued to choose light fantasy novels - the remaining Warriors books, the Guardians of Gahoole, Daughters of the Sea. Some friends of hers suggested she read Eragon, so she read that series - HUGE step up!!! Late in the year, she even tackled The Hobbit, although I think she may have skipped a lot of that like she did with Harry Potter.

 

Second half of the year we had been having some problems with history. She wasn't really liking the textbook we were using, but she did like some of the Dear America and Royal Diaries books she had read as a supplement. So, we dropped the text and read our way through those series and found several other historical fiction about girls books that she liked. So now she was reading for two subjects every day.

 

So far so good - she's now reading fluently and enthused about it, and she's had a year to let that enthusiasm for reading develop enough that it becomes PART of her. But eventually I want her to enjoy books OTHER than the very narrow types of fantasy books she chooses on her own.

 

So this year for sixth grade I introduced a twist - every OTHER book she reads has to be from a list I made for her. I deliberately chose books that were SIMILAR to what she already likes to read, but books that she would not choose on her own - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the Edward Eager books, Dragonsong, The Wee Free Men, and The Wolves of Willoughby Chase are all books she's read this year at my behest. She whined about this quite a bit at first, but enough of the books are enjoyable that she's not whining too much anymore. And she's learning that she CAN enjoy some books that are a little different from what she usually chooses - several of the books that I've 'forced' her to read, she's enjoyed enough that she's gone on to choose the sequels when she gets her turn to pick.

 

The latest development has been that I've started having her read what she likes for an hour a day, and then reading one of MY picks for 20 minutes. We've only been doing this for January, so it's a little soon to say how it will go. So far she has NOT liked Mrs. Frisby (how can anyone NOT love Mrs. Frisby!!!!), but she did like The Princess and the Goblin. Currently she's reading The Shadows of Elsewhere for her own choice and The Tale of Despereaux as my suggestion. I've got The Incredible Journey, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, and Catherine, Called Birdy on tap for later - I want to start branching out a bit! :001_smile:

 

Anyway, sorry this was so long!!!:D I'd say the main thing is, let your child read whatever they like, but insist that they DO read, and be very patient. Like I said, that first three months or so was excruciating - you really have to prepare yourself to be super patient and calm EVERY SINGLE DAY for awhile. Just hang in there, it will work out if you are calm and persistent!!

[RootAnn]

Do you still read to her? I cannot tell you the number of times my dds have gotten hooked onto a book I was reading aloud and were then caught mischievously "sneaking ahead".

 

:iagree:

 

And don't veto books because they are "too easy." If she wants to read them and they are appropriate (content), let her read them.

 

We liked the Eragon books (audio for most of my kids). We had many debates on HP-like magic vs. Eragon-type magic & who would win if they were pitted against each other. :tongue_smilie:

 

You've gotten some good advice. Good luck!

[brownie]

Quality time - it may be a bit harder since she's already 11, but associating attention from mom (or dad) with reading is the best way to create a love of reading. Last year I read the Hobbit to my then 10 year old son at bedtime. This year I crawl in bed with my 9 year old to read the Hobbit aloud...no siblings allowed. Maybe you could take your daughter to a coffee shop, esp in a bookstore, and read together? Promise a movie night with you (or even her friends) after she reads a book that has been made into a movie? Find some way to make sure she enjoys spending time with you reading.

 

My youngest started to resent reading early on because he noticed that reading to his older brothers made me unavailable to him! I had some work to do reversing that association. Now I'm relieved that he's taking an interest in reading at 6.5yrs.

 

Brownie

[Ester Maria]

Maybe, just maybe, your daughter is simply not a "fiction person"?

 

You can look at reading from two angles - on one hand, it may be a pleasant and educational way to beguile your time or, on the other hand, it may be a source of an artistic pleasure.

 

There are people who "fail" on both counts. They prefer to beguile their time in other ways, many of which are also educational and worthy pursuits - so instead of reading a book, they will play an instrument, cook, garden, draw, whatever. Likewise, they do not take a particular joy in accessing quality literature as art - exactly the same way that not all people like classical music or painting.

 

In principle, there is nothing "wrong" with it. One can be a highly educated and a well-read (in NON-fiction) person, with developed interests and interesting personality, without being a "fiction person", a "classical music person", or a "visual art person". Maybe your daughter is simply not interested in fiction, but might be interested in learning about her other interests - or discovering them - via non-fiction.

 

I know adults like this, who read very little fiction. Some of them are even avid readers, but fiction is just not their thing. I think it is a mistake to limit children's reading to fiction and to freak out if they dislike fiction ;), and take it as though they dislike reading and learning in general.

 

Literature as art, of course, is a part of the school curriculum. Whether they like it or not, there is a certain historical context and a number of readings in fiction an educated person will have read at the end of their schooling. However, I would not necessarily force more fiction into her life than she wants PAST your school requirements.

 

Another possibility is the one that books she reads really ARE boring to her, genuinely. I found a lot of "kids' books" to be boring, and so did my daughters - in fact, quite often they clicked a lot better with more "serious" literature than with children's novels. Even now, as teens, they do not reach much "teen literature" or even "young adult literature", as they tend to find it silly, poor from a literary and linguistic perspective, or just plain boring. Sometimes when kids are bored or "bad" at something, a rather counter-intuitive thing can be done: attempting to give them higher level and more sophisticated materials, rather than less. I have actually found it to work.

[Elizabeth in MN]

Here’s my response to a lot of the advice and questions you all have thrown at me. Thank you all for helping me with this, and for pointing out things like offering my DD more challenging reading.

 

Rules about reading – if no comic books what do you all think of adding manga to that list?

 

Library – yes, it is miserable. The librarians routinely yell (literally) at me for checking out “too many†books (like, four) or for “overusing†ILL (which is about once a year right now, but if I’m gonna get yelled at then I might as well really use it). They are heavy gossips and most of the library funds go to adult romance novels. There are no supervisors to talk to about the issues.

Percy Jackson – she kinda likes the series. We have the one she is reading right now on audio but she never chooses to listen to it. We’ve had it six months (not from the library) and listened to maybe three chapters. We even had an emergency road trip for two weeks and she still didn’t choose to listen to it.

 

Free reading for home schooling – we have two reading streams in our home schooling. One is literature wherein I read aloud. Currently it’s Robin Hood, which is a chapter at a time. Then she has “free reading†when she got to choose a book from the history-tied pile of fiction. The free reading is an hour long. I’m thinking about moving the free reading time to bedtime. We go upstairs and get ready for bed at nine and get into our respective beds at ten. The hour use to be used for read-aloud time or for individual reading. We got away from that practice and I want to get back to it.

 

I’ve done the “tasting bite†approach to books this year. She reads a few chapters and if it’s drudgery then I don’t make her finish the book. Now I have her reading the book blurb on the back to see if she might find a book interesting.

 

We do have a Nook Simple! That’s what I have The Hunger Games on and I wondered if she wanted to read it in order to play with the new toy. She said no, she really wants to read the book. She read the Harry Potter books without batting an eye at the thickness.

 

Deniseibase, we need to get our girls together for a book club – they sound like they were made for each other. I *did* try the Warrior series on her but she said “meh†to them. She loves cats and fantasy and she even got to adopt a stray cat that came onto our property one day!

[Haiku]

Rules about reading – if no comic books what do you all think of adding manga to that list?

 

Personally, I don't let my kids read any kind of graphic anything for school reading time: no comics, no manga, no graphic novels.

 

Then she has “free reading†when she got to choose a book from the history-tied pile of fiction.

 

I really think if you're dictating her free reading, it's not really free reading. It's school reading. I wouldn't like to read either if I had to spend an hour before bed reading stuff that bores me.

 

Were it me, I would have a certain amount of time set aside during the day for school reading, and let free reading at bedtime truly be free reading. If you don't want her to just read a bunch of comics, maybe you could expand what qualifies as school reading beyond history-based stuff. Some people just don't like that. Give her some good novels to read for "school reading."

 

Tara

[Deniseibase]

Deniseibase, we need to get our girls together for a book club – they sound like they were made for each other. I *did* try the Warrior series on her but she said “meh†to them. She loves cats and fantasy and she even got to adopt a stray cat that came onto our property one day!

 

Oh, yeah, they sound alike all right! My DD loves cats too :-) And I see you mentioned Percy Jackson, I forgot to mention that but that's another of the series she's enjoyed this year.

 

We had to have a 'no manga for school reading' rule, yeah. Otherwise DD would just read Slayers and Inubaka :-) I did find some manga-based novelizations that I allowed, maybe you could look for that for some of her favorite series? My DD still reads a LOT of manga, but she does it on her own time.

[PeterPan]

Just as an aside, it's always good to get their eyes checked. There are some things like convergence, eye teaming, etc. that a regular optometrist misses, so I would use a developmental optometrist. You can do just a regular exam and let them screen for the things. This is a pretty common age (4th gr +) for vision problems to show up. They hit a wall because the print on the books gets smaller, the words get longer, etc., ie. their compensating tricks are no longer adequate. So it's just something to check. You go to http://www.covd.com to find a developmental optometrist.